There Are No Words - Deadspin Comments

There Are No Words

Cloaca — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 15:26:28 EDT

And the Peabody Award goes to...

Cloaca

There Are No Words

FJoeTheismann — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:54:28 EDT

It looks like my wedding video. Only with less kicking.

- Chuck Norris.

FJoeTheismann

There Are No Words

Trackback — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:41:49 EDT

There really isn’t anything funny about the situation of Bills tight end Kevin Everett, who was nearly paralyzed two weeks ago and is currently undergoing gradual physical therapy.

Trackback

There Are No Words

CliffX — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:11:16 EDT

That wrong clip is actually from a Columbus story! Not nearly as funny as this blooper, but still...

CliffX

There Are No Words

blastitbiggs — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:05:36 EDT

This was no video loading accident.

blastitbiggs

There Are No Words

Windier E. Megatons — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:02:57 EDT

Mein Fuhrer! I can walk!!!

Windier E. Megatons

There Are No Words

Tar Heel Fan — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 13:55:35 EDT

Glad I went to the bathroom before I clicked on that.

Tar Heel Fan

There Are No Words

fightonusc — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 13:54:18 EDT

Kevin Everett, the Guy Caballero of the NFL...

fightonusc

There Are No Words

Billy Clyde Puckett — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:58:57 EDT

Said sportscaster is a friend of mine. I almost got a job there once, long ago. Long story, but the gist of it is - it was down to me and another guy, and on the day they were going to make the decision, the asshat news director never called me to say "Hey, we went in the other direction." Just hired the other guy without a word.

And he sucked so bad, they fired him six months later.

Billy Clyde Puckett

There Are No Words

Trackback — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:56:42 EDT

Found via Cardinals Diaspora, a great website dedicated to all things St. Louis Cardinals, here is the second-funniest YouTube clip I’ve seen in a long time. I can’t believe someone comes up with this stuff and has the time to actually put it together, but I could not stop laughing.

Trackback

There Are No Words

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah! — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:52:50 EDT

*cue Benny Hill music*

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

There Are No Words

Seabass — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:52:18 EDT

Best. Local News Screwup Video. Ever.

That should be a new category on YouTube.

Seabass

There Are No Words

BelichickSpiesOnYou — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:47:58 EDT

ROFL That just made my Friday..

BelichickSpiesOnYou

There Are No Words

MrRedDevil — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:43:28 EDT

In other news, childrens do learn...

MrRedDevil

There Are No Words

diddly — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:38:57 EDT

@thetaxman: But their open spot is at tight end.

diddly

There Are No Words

theballadofrickeyfoggie — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:34:54 EDT

@Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price: Seeing live on TV. When you scramble for the remote to rewind the DVR and confirm that your plan to quietly watch the evening newscast has just been suddenly and unexpectedly altered.

theballadofrickeyfoggie

There Are No Words

Portugal_The_Man — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:34:11 EDT

In the immortal words of Christian Bale, in the movie "Shaft": "Homeboy's got rhythm"

Portugal_The_Man

There Are No Words

El Knob Grande — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:29:20 EDT

@Mr. Poon: Actually Deadspin has its own private luxury suite in hell. Come on in. There's burritos.

El Knob Grande

There Are No Words

BigRicks — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:28:09 EDT

Blink once if you're going to kick the shit out of the bailiff

BigRicks

There Are No Words

Tuffy — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:25:13 EDT

I need an old priest and a young priest.

Tuffy

There Are No Words

A Pimp Named DaveR — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:23:44 EDT

Suspiciously, Gregg Easterbrook's emails asking why the station quickly cut away from the footage have been ignored or dismissed....

A Pimp Named DaveR

There Are No Words

ChiSwede — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:21:40 EDT

First entry in the DHOF video clips wing.

ChiSwede

There Are No Words

Magnakai Haaskivi — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:20:46 EDT

Kevin Everett looks like Suge Knight.

Magnakai Haaskivi

There Are No Words

ColonelDebugger — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:18:40 EDT

Dammit, you owe a new lunch for that video. Or you can just wipe my old one off my monitor.

ColonelDebugger

There Are No Words

Arriaga_II — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:18:14 EDT

Gene Hackman sleeps fitfully tonight.

Arriaga_II

There Are No Words

El Gran Guapo — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:17:40 EDT

Someone must have told him he was just traded to the Chiefs.

El Gran Guapo

There Are No Words

Bunkie Perkins — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:16:57 EDT

Dont you put that evil on me Kevin Everett!

Bunkie Perkins

There Are No Words

Tuffy — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:16:05 EDT

@theslacker: White cops - a new cause for paralysis in blacks.

New York City? Get the rope!

Tuffy

There Are No Words

theslacker — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:14:47 EDT

White cops - a new cure for paralysis in blacks.

theslacker

There Are No Words

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:14:29 EDT

@TBoRF: I've seen some weird stuff happen in a courtroom.

You'd be amazed what people do when they're about to be sentenced.

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

There Are No Words

Tuffy — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:13:22 EDT

@MrShiz: Or the iconic 'donkey brutalizing the bailiff' card. Johnny Carson's art department was so great.

Tuffy

There Are No Words

thetaxman — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:12:57 EDT

I'm pretty sure the Bills signed that guy on defense after seeing that clip.

thetaxman

There Are No Words

A Pimp Named DaveR — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:12:09 EDT

IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!

A Pimp Named DaveR

There Are No Words

TomahawkFlop — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:11:58 EDT

No way that video was run by accident. That has hilariously disgruntled employee written all over it.

TomahawkFlop

There Are No Words

Tuffy — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:11:13 EDT

Silly Canadians.

Tuffy

There Are No Words

theballadofrickeyfoggie — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:10:31 EDT

I cannot imagine a reaction to seeing that live.

theballadofrickeyfoggie

There Are No Words

iHaveaRagingTebowner — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:10:19 EDT

He's got the jimmy legs.

iHaveaRagingTebowner

There Are No Words

Old Gregg — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:09:56 EDT

Dang, the Miami murderball team is going to be awful without their scrum-half.

Old Gregg

There Are No Words

MrShiz — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:09:33 EDT

Where's the "We are experiencing technical difficulties" screen when you need it? You know, the one with the donkey kicking the camera man. That's classic.

MrShiz

There Are No Words

y2ames — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:09:05 EDT

What Chi McBride needs to do is sit his ass back down and not kick anymore bailiffs.

y2ames

There Are No Words

KittyLitterKing — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:06:55 EDT

"Goodell" *dammit*

KittyLitterKing

There Are No Words

Carmen McFanzone — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:06:40 EDT

Didja see that? That's right. That just happened.

Carmen McFanzone

There Are No Words

The Fan’s Attic — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:06:00 EDT

@Suss--: looks like somebody put a body on him.

The Fan’s Attic

There Are No Words

KittyLitterKing — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:05:57 EDT

Roger Goedell just fined Channel 12 $50,000 and suspended their sports anchor for 6 games.

KittyLitterKing

There Are No Words

swayzegoescrazy — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:05:38 EDT

@Mr. Poon: +1

swayzegoescrazy

There Are No Words

Signal to Noise — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:05:29 EDT

The best part of that "wrong clip" is how the guy in the chair actually gets restrained and wrapped up afterwards.

Seriously, dude reappears in court with a straitjacket and a muzzle.

Signal to Noise

There Are No Words

Matt Sussman — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:05:03 EDT

So that's what happened to Merv.

Matt Sussman

There Are No Words

TheSnevik — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:03:55 EDT

Kevin Everett has regain feelings. Unfortunately, he has regained the feelings of Ice T, circa Cop Killer.

You know, I've never actually seen someone attempt a dropkick from a seated position before.

TheSnevik

There Are No Words

The Fan’s Attic — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:03:53 EDT

If that's Kevin Everett, the Miami Project needs is going to be worth kerjillion dollars right about now.

The Fan’s Attic

There Are No Words

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:03:52 EDT

Look what I got! I mean look at me! You got everything, man! Come on! Look what I got to fucking go around with, fucking diapers! I shit my pants everyday! I can't walk, I can't hump... you know? Go ahead and kill me, you COCKSUCKER!

Weed Against Speed

There Are No Words

Chief Wahoo — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:03:37 EDT

Ohmigod is that frigging funny. Have the Bengals signed him yet?

Chief Wahoo

There Are No Words

THE hoi polloi — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:03:32 EDT

And boy did he move his arms and legs today...

THE hoi polloi

There Are No Words

Bunkie Perkins — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:03:02 EDT

Obviously, he was healed by John Kitna

Bunkie Perkins

There Are No Words

THE hoi polloi — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:02:16 EDT

Quick healer, that Kevin Everett...

THE hoi polloi

There Are No Words

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:01:31 EDT

Apparently, Kevin Edwards has been dining on a steady supply of fetuses.

/South Park

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

There Are No Words

Mr. Poon — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:01:25 EDT

Ok, I laughed.

Does hell take reservations or do I just walk up and get a cell?

Mr. Poon

There Are No Words

jwaves2007 — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:01:12 EDT

What we didn't see was Mr. Brady dropping his briefcase causing the guy to spasm so his lawsuit against Jan was thrown out.

jwaves2007

There Are No Words

The Fan’s Attic — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:00:26 EDT

Obviously, all black people look the same to News 12 Sports in Florida.

The Fan’s Attic

There Are No Words

Stev D — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:00:24 EDT

Kevin Everett must be stopped

Stev D

There Are No Words

Philistine — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:58:58 EDT

Raising the question, "If the perp (alleged) needed the chair, how was he able to move so well when he was (accidentally?) spilled?".

Philistine

There Are No Words

Brazil Thrill — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:58:28 EDT

Why did Emmitt Smith kick that cop?

Brazil Thrill

There Are No Words

Sandy Magic Jackson — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:58:17 EDT

That's so funny, it's enough to make a Mets fan smile today.

Sandy Magic Jackson

There Are No Words

Silky John-STON! — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:58:04 EDT

He not only can move, Everett got FRISKY!

Silky John-STON!

There Are No Words

swayzegoescrazy — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:57:56 EDT

forget this wheelchair, i just wanna dance

swayzegoescrazy

There Are No Words

jwaves2007 — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:57:44 EDT

That is the funniest thing I will see today. I just pissed myself.

jwaves2007

There Are No Words

Babcocksure — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:57:25 EDT

damn Everett just lost it...wait huh?

Babcocksure

There Are No Words

McCroskey — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:56:37 EDT

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic bailiff-kicking, wheelchair bound tight end in NFL history

McCroskey

There Are No Words

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:55:47 EDT

don't paralyze me bro

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

There Are No Words

ithacabaron — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:55:43 EDT

Wooooooow.

"That is NOT the right video, by the way..."

ithacabaron

There Are No Words

Dead Wrestlers Society — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:54:12 EDT

I smell local sports Emmy!

Seriously, that clip is actually funny. A few seconds after the clip stops the guy squirms out of his chair and doofus cop #1 tasers doofus cop #2 by accident.

Dead Wrestlers Society

There Are No Words

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:54:03 EDT

"Oh no...I think I got...HAPPY FEET!!"

/super-old Steve Martin bit

Weed Against Speed

There Are No Words

shea_guevara — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:53:11 EDT

He's improved so much so quickly he's become drunk with power! Stop him!

shea_guevara

There Are No Words

Lady Andrea — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:52:55 EDT

Boom goes the paraplegic!

Lady Andrea

There Are No Words

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:52:28 EDT

...aaaaaaand my computer screen is wet.

Holy shit, that's funny.

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee