<![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone! - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone! - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> A perfect moment in life for me would be to "steal" my car back from a scumyard with either a guy like Tony Joiner or someone his size behind my back...Just once.

BD

IronDog

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> But...but...I need to know!! Did he save the lemon tree??

Senators Lost Cojones

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @mlmintampa: and--leave us not forget--Florida International has the immortal Ned!

gjdodger

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Can someone parse this sentence for me?

"I don't remember that ever happening," he said. "A girl stole her car from the lot about three weeks ago and she wasn't arrested. Why would they arrest this kid?"

drewheyman

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> from the Gainesville Sun....

"The owner of the property, Stan Forron, said he left the gate open when he left Watson's Towing at 3 a.m. and doesn't understand why police arrested Joiner. Forron said he is going to urge the State Attorney's Office to drop the charges. Forron said Joiner had made arrangements to pay the towing bill and pick up the car Tuesday morning, but that Joiner showed up later than expected and the Watson's Towing employee on duty at the time was not in the office.

"I don't understand why this kid was arrested," said Forron, who owns two other towing companies in Gainesville. "I've been paid; I've been made good. I'm not interested in pursuing charges. It's all a miscommunication.

"One of the dispatchers knew (Joiner) was coming. My employee was in the break room and I'd left the gate open. It's like going to a restaurant to eat and you go to the cashier to pay and no one is there. Eventually, you're going to walk out."

Forron said he's been in the towing business for 20 years and has never heard of anyone getting arrested for stealing their own car from a compound lot.

"I don't remember that ever happening," he said. "A girl stole her car from the lot about three weeks ago and she wasn't arrested. Why would they arrest this kid?"

- obviously he's more worried about the LSU game than $80. rightfully so.

I Heart Poop

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @Locker Room Guise: They sleep upside down, hanging from a branch, or in a coffin. Bastards.

The Gentleman Masher

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @Slothrop: Do you think that Bud, Otto and Lite were there?

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns:

Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

drewheyman

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Crime is the only reason why USF is the top ranked in the state. Their players are married with kids. FSU players get in fights and cheat on tests. UF players get caught with weed and going after tow trucks, and Miami players shoot people. Those three schools still have the better athletes.

mlmintampa

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @Lady Andrea: He's working with Bess Marvin, Girl Detective on this one. They will surely solve the mystery.

J-No

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Bobby Bowden supports this decision to let Joiner play

Herbies_Wingman

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: the ####s have got to work somewhere

StuScott Booyahs

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> You know what you do, you open that ass.

Lance's Other Nut

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @Rory B. Bellows: For all-female '80s pop bands?

Phony Gwynn

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> ...But was he tased?

Off The Baggie

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @Rory B. Bellows: Dammit, Bangles. The Cincinnati Bangles. I have to start proof-reading my posts.

Rory B. Bellows

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> I always ask those loathsome folks at impound lots how they sleep at night.

In case anyone's wondering how they actually sleep, most of them sleep pretty well. Stupid people usually do.

Locker Room Guise

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Really, no one? Ok: Repo Man spends his life getting into intense situations!

Slothrop

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> "With their first pick in the 2008 draft, the Cincinnati Beagles select..."

Rory B. Bellows

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Rural Meyer was upset when his player tried to steal a tractor.

Phony Gwynn

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns:
If it is an impound lot then by any means necessary.

Those people are spawns of satan. Even if you show up with cash in hand they make it as difficult and take as long as possible to get your car back. If the place would have been open when he went to get his girlfriends car back he probably would have been in more trouble due to them pissing him off and him going crazy on them.


sir_pantsalot

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> As much as I would love to bash the Gators, seems like this is a big misunderstanding that was taken too far. Of course, the misunderstanding was that of the impound lot attendants, who should have known Tony was a Gator Defensive Player. The company doesn't want to press charges, according to that Miami Herald article. Of course not! If Joiner doesn't play against LSU next week, that company will probably lose all their contracts!

(This is kettle calling pot black humor, folks. Enjoy!)

The Fake Gimel Martinez

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> This was over a $76 towing bill... are boosters even trying anymore?

Tonydanzasleftfoot

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> The only thing this guy is guilty of is having a ball-breaker as a girlfriend.

Stev D

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> On the plus side, there is no sex better than "I just got released from prison trying to steal your car back and now you owe me for life" sex.

TrojanBrand

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @ArkansasFred: Zooker must have sent it back to its spiritual home.

brougham

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @StuScott Booyahs: How does one burn down a parking lot?

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Wally Joyner, however, you have free reign to kick his ass.

Sandy Magic Jackson

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @ArkansasFred: Clearly the Fulmer Cup was in the backseat when the car was towed.
And the Fulmer grill, the Fulmer cooler, the Fulmer beer keg and the Fulmer box of Krispy Kremes.


FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> I'm not advocating arson, but yes you should burn down every impound lot you can find

StuScott Booyahs

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> A-ha!! Click on the WORD Deadspin. I was contemplating a boycott of Becks.

Balls State Explorer

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Clearly the Fulmer Cup was in the backseat when the car was towed.

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> "He is the eighth Florida football player in the past nine months to find legal trouble"

Where did they arbitrarily come up with 9 months? Are we about to be blown away by a flood of Gator baby-daddys? I'll bet that's it...the paper is just setting this up.

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> The smarmy attendant at the impound lot told Joiner "What can I tell you buddy. Take it up with Consumer Affairs."

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Four straight National Championships! Two in hoops, one in football, and one in getting arrested. Whoooo!

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> "He is the eighth Florida football player in the past nine months to find legal trouble"

They only need 1 more to reach the team goal!

ASox

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Must...drink....Beck's....

Remember, one man's auto thief is another man's freedom fighter.

Pharmacoug

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> I'm in the brute squad.

You are the brute squad.

McCroskey

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Florida coach Urban Meyer said that his starting strong safety would not practice with the team until "I find out everything.

Well Urban, it all started about 13.7 ± 0.2 billion years ago with the Big Bang (coincidentally also the name give to the Friday night party at the football dorm). Hey, you know...this is going to take awhile. Joiner, you should be practicing again around 2017.

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> No worries, the towing company guy said it was a misunderstanding and won't press charges.

See, the UF boosters take care of our players

12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> By girlfriend, do you mean Tebow?

Matt_T

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> He is the eighth Florida football player in the past nine months to find legal trouble.

The Bengals can stop scouting now. They can just get all their players for Florida from here on out.

Little Wooden Boy

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> "I want a fucking car right fucking NOW!"

swayzegoescrazy

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> He couldn't have waited until morning to contact a judge from the local UF alumni association?

TheStarterWife

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Entitled college football players vs. scummy tow truck operators....

cab I just root for everyone to die?

Botswana Meat Commission FC

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> He could've just had his roomate simply blow down the towing yard with a single breath, while simultaneously picking up the car with only his pinky finger.

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Now finally someone had the guts to do something about it. I say rush the impound lots and free all the cars!

Immediately following this statement, Rick was recorded telling anyone who would listen that:

"I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me."

Jezzies-Scare-Me

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> @Lady Andrea: He's also a very public dick.

Camp Tiger Claw

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Urban Meyer, private dick. He'll find out everything.

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Impound lots are the most ripoff.

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> He should have consulted with his friends from Auburn

CRASH THE GATE!

MerryLander

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> I'm with you... TO ARMS!

tkexi991

]]> <![CDATA[Leave Tony Joiner Alone!]]> Who said chivalry is dead?

Civil Negligence

]]>