What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam? - Deadspin Comments

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

How do you spell retard? — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 19:55:37 EDT

Other Sportscenter anchors can show their artsy sides? You mean like Scott van Pelt showing off his ping pong ball trick (Yeah, it's feels strange hating such an irrelevant person).

How do you spell retard?

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

micke — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 10:08:57 EDT

This just in: A Google Image Search for "Serena Williams" and "ass" yields satisfying results!

micke

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Arn Ziffel — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 18:03:45 EDT

Mother of God. I fer the wrath of eternal damnation just for having read it. Having gotten that out of the way. Awesome...Just Awesome.

Arn Ziffel

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Swolestice — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 17:13:33 EDT

Serena Williams, +1

Swolestice

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

MurrayHewitt — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 17:05:38 EDT

My life will never be the same.

MurrayHewitt

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

muggsybogues — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:58:59 EDT

HAHAHA monkey woman? Jesus.

muggsybogues

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

MrRedDevil — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:57:01 EDT

Nibbles!

MrRedDevil

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

MrRedDevil — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:55:48 EDT

I couldn't get Eyeball's voice out of my head while I tried to read that, so I just passed on all of it.

I would like to say, in regards to Serena Williams's rear end.......

GOD. DAMN.

MrRedDevil

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

The Fake Gimel Martinez — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:53:23 EDT

I always thought Serena Williams would make a good James Bond villain.

The Fake Gimel Martinez

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Swolestice — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:38:31 EDT

Good to see the DS server hamsters are taking a break today.

Swolestice

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

BigRicks — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:33:19 EDT

@The Gizmo from Pismo: No, but he's sending the jew hymen verse right to Ann Coulter.

BigRicks

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:31:11 EDT

@The Fan's Attic:
Did he watch Roots before coming up with that stuff? He's like the plantation owner who forces himself on Kizzy.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:19:10 EDT

What? I've bought all Stu's poetry collections on lulu.com..

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:17:00 EDT

@Hernandez-is-the-Mandez: My friends all lovingly call me their "Dago".
At least I think it's lovingly.

The Balls best work yet.

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

The Gizmo from Pismo — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:14:47 EDT

You are sending those verses straight to NOIS right?

The Gizmo from Pismo

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Arriaga_II — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:14:25 EDT

There was a period in my life where I became obsessed with Jim Morrison.

Didnt we all. Fortunately mine occured at 14, so there were no poetry slams to attend. Just lots of pot smoking and shitty music.

Arriaga_II

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

iHaveaRagingTebowner — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:14:23 EDT

let me stroke your bulbous lumps of dark, dark ham

When I taught high school English, I would have killed for writing this descriptive.

iHaveaRagingTebowner

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Sarcastro — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:12:13 EDT

This dumper, it is the Platonic ideal. A World of the Forms onion.

Sarcastro

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

The Fan’s Attic — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:11:42 EDT

A little birdey clad in a black v-neck told me that The Balls has a background in poetry as the main advisor of Johan More, apparently the poet laureate of The Black Table. For some of Mr. More's work follow the link below.

[www.blacktable.com]

The Fan’s Attic

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

StreakinTheQuad — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:08:05 EDT

oddly... my wife never talks about how sweet my meringue is, but its hard to tell over the heaving.

StreakinTheQuad

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

BoeheimIsMySavior — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:06:47 EDT

Poetry Jam? More like Poetry SLAM! WORD!!!

BoeheimIsMySavior

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Sandy Magic Jackson — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:04:40 EDT

@Hernandez-is-the-Mandez:
Was at my Italian friend's wedding outside of Cleveland a couple of weeks back, and he was aghast when at dinner if he wanted to try the house wine, the dago red.

Sandy Magic Jackson

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Signal to Noise — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:04:15 EDT

"mom-mom's groin hair" made me throw up a bit in my mouth.

Is that you with that ode to Serena, Smoove B?

Signal to Noise

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Jefferson Short Bus — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:04:13 EDT

Oh. My. God. I think I peed on myself a little.

Jefferson Short Bus

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

The Fan’s Attic — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:03:24 EDT

I would like to propose a toast.

Let's all raise our cups to The Balls and support him for this masterpiece of mockery.

Hip Hip.

The Fan’s Attic

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Phony Gwynn — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:00:57 EDT

I don't think Serena's thong can breathe, there.

Phony Gwynn

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:00:31 EDT

Love Roux. The base of any good sauce or soup.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Signal to Noise — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:00:04 EDT

"Mom-mom's groin hair" made me throw up a little in my mouth.

As for the ode to Serena: Smoove B, is that you?

Signal to Noise

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

MidwestCoastBias — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:58:26 EDT

Wait, so is Stu Scott the racist, or is AJ the racist? I'm so confused!

MidwestCoastBias

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

The Fan’s Attic — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:58:11 EDT

man meringue, creole butter, love souffle...Deadspin is a veritable cornucupia of euphemisms for spunk.

And, I was literally falling out of my chair at work after this piece of art.

Personal favorite:

Suzyn Waldman, soul sister in arms, who charms,
her voice broken, shattered
Like her Jew hymen was so long ago.

The Fan’s Attic

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

BigJimSlade — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:57:43 EDT

"bulbous lumps of dark, dark ham"
fan-friggin-tastic

BigJimSlade

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Brazil Thrill — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:56:08 EDT

My respect and admiration for Serena just increased tenfold. That cushion is prime for the pushin'!

Brazil Thrill

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

ArkansasFred — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:56:04 EDT

She was a thief
you gotta believe
she stole my heart
and my cat

ArkansasFred

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Wolf Blitzer — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:54:57 EDT

or Neil Everett is an established concert bassoonist.. . . with of course John Clayton doing his performance from Blue Man Group, and Linda Kohn replicating the London symphony with nothing more than one of her hands placed in her armpit, and the other arm violenting lifting up and down, allowing the forced air to create a priceless melody.

Wolf Blitzer

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

BigTenObsession — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:54:25 EDT

@Lady Andrea:

I am partial to 'love souffle'.

But seriously, how often did The Balls get his ass kicked as a child if he talked like this?

BigTenObsession

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Afino — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:54:21 EDT

@Innings Eater:

I just stopped reading there because it wasn't getting any better.....

....but then I started again and it did.

with my super-silky man meringue..

Afino

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

ArmansCopyOfSwank — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:53:49 EDT

Somewhere in LA, a screenwriter just found the poetry Kathy Bates will be reading a bound Jason Biggs in "Bull Durham 2."

ArmansCopyOfSwank

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Sheepblog — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:52:29 EDT

Did The Balls go to Virginia Tech...or High School in Cleveland?

Regardless, someone better check his locker.

Like now.

Sheepblog

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Hernandez-is-the-Mandez — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:52:27 EDT

Stuart Scott loves antiquated racial slurs. I ain't heard Dago since aught 6!

Hernandez-is-the-Mandez

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Sarge — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:52:13 EDT

An ALDS Haiku:

Sizemore heading home
Johnny Damon With The Throw
Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce Bounce

Sarge

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:51:48 EDT

@public enemy #1:
I'll swap ya McDowell straight up for him. And as far as da azz goes, my Lord, man.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Dead Air ummm Dead Air — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:51:17 EDT

An Ode to A-Rod, by Stu Scott-

Rose are red
Violets are blue
Tap Tap Tap
May I touch your shoe?

Dead Air ummm Dead Air

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

highlifer — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:50:52 EDT

Best. Episode. Ever.

highlifer

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Sarcastro — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:49:53 EDT

@Weed Against Speed: I think I love it. It's the ass that stole my heart.

I roll a 16-pound dark blue Brunswick Rhino with orange accents.

Sarcastro

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Camp Tiger Claw — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:49:07 EDT

Cock-Iambic Pentameter

Camp Tiger Claw

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Brazil Thrill — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:48:20 EDT

My respect and admiration for Serena Williams just increased tenfold.

In my home country, that would be what we would call a bunda gostosa.

Brazil Thrill

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Innings Eater — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:48:15 EDT

her voice broken, shattered
Like her Jew hymen was so long ago.

Waitress...Check, please.

Innings Eater

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Swolestice — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:47:38 EDT

That's not really Serena Williams, is it??

Either way, good lord.

Swolestice

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:47:00 EDT

@Sarcastro: It's like trying to decide between two balls at the bowling alley. Jesus.

Weed Against Speed

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Sarcastro — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:46:49 EDT

@Sarcastro: Holy shit, seriously, look at that back yard. Grrrr.

Sarcastro

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Lady Andrea — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:45:35 EDT

Serena's ass scares me.

"man meringue".....that's new.

Lady Andrea

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Bluenatic — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:45:07 EDT

Did this guy really type the phrase "shattered
Like her Jew hymen" or am I hallucinating (again)?

Bluenatic

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Herbies_Wingman — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:44:46 EDT

I think I am try that Serena one on the wife tonight

Herbies_Wingman

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Sandy Magic Jackson — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:44:36 EDT

my lord how does she get across the court lugging that deliciousness around?

Sandy Magic Jackson

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

G Voll the Mole — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:44:29 EDT

@G Voll the Mole: *when

Damnit, too many tears to properly type.

G Voll the Mole

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

BloggyMcBlogBlog — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:44:25 EDT

Dude, Dude, Dude, Dude, Dude.

BloggyMcBlogBlog

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Sarcastro — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:44:22 EDT

@Sarcastro: I mean, damn. Wow, just wow.

Sarcastro

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

ltwinslow — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:43:16 EDT

there was a period in my life where I became obsessed with Jim Morrison too. i call it the "discovering lsd" phase

ltwinslow

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Dead Wrestlers Society — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:43:11 EDT

threadjack/

O's fire Leo Mazzone

/end threadjack

Dead Wrestlers Society

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:42:58 EDT

...no words... should have sent a poet...

Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

G Voll the Mole — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:42:51 EDT

I'm crying like Waldman she she had ... er... right.

G Voll the Mole

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Lady Andrea — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:42:34 EDT

Great post......right up until I was blinded by Serena's ass. Holy mother of god, is that real?

Lady Andrea

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Sarcastro — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:42:13 EDT

I am fascinated by Miss Williams' rump. I want to pet it.

Sarcastro

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Innings Eater — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:41:51 EDT

her voice broken, shattered
Like her Jew hymen was so long ago.

Check, please...

Innings Eater

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Rob Iracane — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:41:22 EDT

Hmm...when I was younger, I gravitated towards the weird, naked Indian.

Rob Iracane

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

Civil Negligence — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:40:18 EDT

muffins.jpg

Hi-larious.

Civil Negligence

What's Stu Scott's Next Poetry Jam?

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:39:48 EDT

can't...breathe...call...for...help..

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at