Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights - Deadspin Comments

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

ToTheMoonAlice — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 01:38:17 EDT

Am I living in some kind of Bizzaro world? While there were a couple of decent segments, overall E:60 sucked, and I can't beieve how many commenters are praising it. The phony part where the "journalists" are pitching their stories is a travesty, and it would get people fired in the real journalistic world. The Bill Simmons segment was one of the most self-indulgent in memory. OK, we get it. He really likes Boston teams and he likes making himself part of the story. Don't we get enough of that in his columns? OOh, and wasn't the show edgy by having shaky camera work and fast-cut editing! Let's hope that the second installment of the show has less crap and more of the somewhat-decent reporting. All in all, a weak, younger version of "Outside the Lines."

ToTheMoonAlice

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

anflam — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 23:23:20 EDT

Pretty interesting! Now ESPN, I don't hate you as much as before!
(probably 0.0001% fewer)

anflam

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

calmasacucumber — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 18:13:20 EDT

he shoots like rebecca lobo.

calmasacucumber

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

cromartie — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 16:58:24 EDT

@The Fan's Attic: Total lack of testosterone, bass, and timber?

cromartie

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

The Fake Gimel Martinez — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:57:31 EDT

If I had time, I would make a YTMND of Simmons standing in the mo-cap suit, and loop the audio of him saying "they call it mo-cap" over and over and over.

Stupid busy work week!

The Fake Gimel Martinez

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

BrockLanders — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:36:20 EDT

I know the UNC mascot story should make me sob like a baby and hug my kids extra-tight, but it just doesn't. It's tragic that the kid got hit by an SUV, and it's great that he was an organ donor ... just like millions of other people. Why is he any more heroic than one who died today or yesterday or the day before that? Why are his parents considered saintly for allowing themselves to be talked into making the donation? That, as Chris Rock said, is getting credit for something you're supposed to do.

BrockLanders

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

BoeheimIsMySavior — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:02:11 EDT

Well, there goes 4:06 of my life that I'll never get back...

BoeheimIsMySavior

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

MSBrody — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:50:52 EDT

@Sigerson: Yes, and yes.

MSBrody

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Sigerson — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:26:19 EDT

Was I the only one thinking Tron? Does that make me really old?

Sigerson

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:25:57 EDT

@Rob Iracane: It's like a three thing; ball, dick, ball.

Yeah, like a division sign.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

thefess — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:12:26 EDT

No coming out comments? What the hell?

thefess

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

OchentaYcinco — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:09:00 EDT

Oh God! J-Bug, are you jackin' it?!?

OchentaYcinco

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Adonis — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:06:25 EDT

@Rob Iracane:

Will there be Extreme Male Cameltoe Thursday tomorrow?

Larry Craig needs to be able to plan his day... he's a busy man.

Adonis

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

ugaedgar — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:04:58 EDT

@Matt_T: and gave it a A+

ugaedgar

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Trackback — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 14:03:31 EDT

Not that I was expecting for it to be groundbreaking television (considering it's actually what SportsCenter was and what Outside the Lines is now), but the debut of E:60 went pretty splendidly last evening.

Trackback

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Rozelle’s Bagman — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:52:25 EDT

@BigTenObsession: Yeah I thought of that, though I don't think Italy would necessarily want them to win either. The NT has a way of playing down their opponent's level in away matches. They'd fare better in a 'meaningful' game for both sides.

I thought I had inserted html. I'll blame nibbles for now and look into it

Rozelle’s Bagman

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

MDT — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:47:50 EDT

@LingeringBursitis: let's go Georgia, forza, forza

This would be more effective if I knew where the other Georgia was. There's too much Europe to keep track of.

MDT

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

ithacabaron — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:46:22 EDT

Uh, that wasn't a McHale Stepback...that was a travel.

ithacabaron

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Wormfather — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:42:18 EDT

I'm renting this game just to dunk on his ass.

Wormfather

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

BigTenObsession — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:41:35 EDT

@LingeringBursitis:

I am twice his age and not a citizen - but somehow I feel as if would be more effective in net.

BigTenObsession

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Spectacular Sam — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:41:24 EDT

There was absolutely nothing new in that Fielder story that hasn't been said or reported in the last 2 years.

Spectacular Sam

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

BigTenObsession — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:40:29 EDT

@LingeringBursitis:

I actually thought about it for 5 minutes before using the damn word. Someone buy us a thesauraus!

@Rozelle's Bagman (and remove your apostrophe or insert the html code for it): HAHA! Even better, Italy and Scotland still have to play one another.

BigTenObsession

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

LingeringBursitis — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:39:47 EDT

Georgia's goalkeeper is 17, and has not even started a game for his club team.

[Mental note: move to Georgia, get passport, dominate their soccer landscape]

LingeringBursitis

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

SonofSpurrier — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:38:59 EDT

ESPN is al-quaeda and must be stopped. Only one person can save us.....Black Jesus, Vince Young.

SonofSpurrier

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

LingeringBursitis — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:37:51 EDT

@BigTenObsession: It's ok to laugh at us. We're terrible at the moment.

But I think we all agree, we need a new word to replace shadenfreude.

LingeringBursitis

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:33:08 EDT

MSP = Minneapolis-St. Paul airport. I'm traveling for work today.

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Rozelle’s Bagman — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:33:00 EDT

@BigTenObsession: Scotland's already choking away their advantage
Georgia 1-0 Scotland 1T

Rozelle’s Bagman

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

sinister midget — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:30:33 EDT

toweightnine - good one. LOL.

sinister midget

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

bsanders37 — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:30:07 EDT

Okay, I have to admit the actual "reporting" done here was fine. The black and white staged "story budget" meetings are horrible. Just terrible. They still don't ask some of the questions that should be asked in these stories, like "why the hell didn't you go to the cops?" And while this Simmons effort was midly amusing, you just hope it's not a weekly thing. Of course, this is an "issues" show, so why can't they give Simmons a forum for that? When writing about controversy (especially NBA controversy), he's great. When writing about anything Boston-related, he makes you wanna shave off the rest of his chin.

bsanders37

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Juancho — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:28:38 EDT

@Chamomiles Davis: He's already moved on from the Red Sox season. What a wanker.

Juancho

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

BigTenObsession — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:28:38 EDT

@LingeringBursitis:

As a Frenchmen, I would like to say "HAHA". Of course, my Schadenfreude may be short-lived if we lose one of our final two qualifiers.

BigTenObsession

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

twoeightnine — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:28:19 EDT

Hench?

twoeightnine

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

PeteJayhawk — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:28:08 EDT

@Matt_T: Sacre bleu!

I am forever flummoxed by the fact that a man named Bob Hartley is a Francophone.

PeteJayhawk

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Lunatic Fringe — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:28:08 EDT

I guess that's his tryout for the Atlanta WNBA team.

Lunatic Fringe

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

sinister midget — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:25:48 EDT

funniest thing about all this hostility toward bill simmons at deadspin is you're here at a site which writes with the same kind of informal irreverance he writes with - except he started it... and yet he sucks...?

simmons still has his fastball. baseball blog from last night being exhibit a. have fun, kids.

sinister midget

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Citizen 192 — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:23:33 EDT

No, really, do they have television programs in Quebec? And how much do those mo-cap suits cost anyway? I want a mariachi suit mo-capped.

Citizen 192

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

MSBrody — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:22:23 EDT

Did anyone else notice that Simmons is a grown man who can't dribble behind his back? Shouldn't he have the "Sports" part of his title removed for something like that?

MSBrody

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

SantaBarbaraWahoo — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:21:50 EDT

Any bets on how far out we are from a Wii accessory in the form of a mo-cap suit that could do this in real time? Because that would be the coolest shit ever.

SantaBarbaraWahoo

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Im a people person. Who drinks. — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:21:26 EDT

Overall I thought it was a good first effort. I thought the MNW story was a bit of a hatchet job. The reporter let the mother in the case imply that it was a case of coercion on the part of the RB. He also never asked her why she never went directly to the police herself. I don't get why the school employees are expected to go to the cops when the mother herself didn't. He should have asked why she didn't. Sad story either way.

That aside - the other segments were well done. The mascot story was touching, in spite of that it seemed designed to be so. Simmons has sort of a recessed chin thing going on. It looked like he was having as much fun as you can in that sort of get-up.

Im a people person. Who drinks.

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Chamomiles Davis — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:21:20 EDT

Hello, God?

It's Chamomiles Davis. I know we haven't spoken in a while, but this is very important.

Please, with all the power you can muster, do NOT let the Celtics get within sniffing distance of the 2008 Finals. Failing that, and they should go on to win the championship, please strike Bill Simmons blind in both eyes seconds before the game-winning shot.

In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign...

Thy will be done.

Chamomiles Davis

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

twoeightnine — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:20:55 EDT

Check that, Simmons is 8 year old playing Y ball. Kevin McHale drives the lane. I'll be Raja Bell, you be Paul Pierce. We win the Championship!

twoeightnine

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Detective Bunk — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:18:46 EDT

Man, EA really overbuffed Simmons.

Detective Bunk

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Dwight Schrute 2008 — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:18:30 EDT

"Is this thing going to stretch out?"
"I don't feel wet, but I just feel moist."

The "That's What She Said" meter just exploded.

Dwight Schrute 2008

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

The Fan’s Attic — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:16:18 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: I'm sorry...I was going through a Cookie Monster phase. I have already been made aware of the disappointment of no Groundskeeper Willie. I am working to remedy this situation.

The Fan’s Attic

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Barry Lutz — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:16:04 EDT

And I missed the rest of the show - did they get to the bottom of the missing bike rack mystery?

Barry Lutz

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

twoeightnine — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:15:56 EDT

Like oh my god! Simmons is a Valley Girl.

twoeightnine

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Rozelle’s Bagman — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:14:46 EDT

There's nothing I like more than staged editorial meetings shot in faux cinéma vérité.

Rozelle’s Bagman

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Barry Lutz — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:14:19 EDT

@Hit Bull Win Steak: They are simply carrying on the tradition established by NBA Jam for the Genesis, in which you could play as George Clinton and Al Gore.

Barry Lutz

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

TheWrathofQBEagles — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:12:46 EDT

Oh, and I never really heard the full Cecil-Prince story, but if that segment was unbiasedly (new word!) true, then damn that Prince is a real cocksucker.

TheWrathofQBEagles

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

TheWrathofQBEagles — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:11:26 EDT

I too was mildly surprised that I watched the entire 60 minutes of that show. I actually think my roommate shed a tear during the UNC mascot story. Pretty interesting stuff overall (also a big fan of the black and white "Producer's Meeting")

TheWrathofQBEagles

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Juancho — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:10:47 EDT

@Hit Bull Win Steak: Many teenagers who play video games and live with their parents grow up to be adults who play video games and live with their parents.

In other words, Bill Simmons's audience.

Juancho

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

LingeringBursitis — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:08:49 EDT

England lose 2-1 to Russia, chances of Euro '08 qualification are now slim-to-none.

/threadjack

LingeringBursitis

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

David Hume — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:08:48 EDT

@Rob Iracane: Or Massive Mooseknuckle Monday.

David Hume

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Phony Gwynn — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:08:34 EDT

@The Fan's Attic: We are now Groundskeeper Willie-less in the avatar dept. That makes me sad.

Phony Gwynn

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

UkraineNotWeak — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:06:29 EDT

@BigTenObsession:

What I mean by the gold standard is that this is every Boston area fans dream. What they hope to achieve via their fandom.

UkraineNotWeak

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Sheepblog — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:06:28 EDT

Old SSW
It's gonna suck
New SSW
It sucks less than we thought.

Sheepblog

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Hit Bull Win Steak — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:05:50 EDT

whats the attraction of putting Simmons in the game? Do teenagers really have a desire to be an over-rated sports columnist in a basketball game? Why not put like Batman in the game or something? At least then it would be cool when you committed a foul. What's Simmons going to do? Make over-used pop culture quips at the opposing defenders?

Hit Bull Win Steak

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

The Fan’s Attic — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:04:57 EDT

@Barry Lutz: Agreed, I am totally jealous that he got to do something like that. And yes, @BigTenObsession:, the segment did seem to make him a bit more likeable.

The Fan’s Attic

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

The Secret Weapon — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:03:39 EDT

@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: You're a Member of the Scottish Parliament? Or do you work at the Maine State Prison?

The Secret Weapon

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Matt_T — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:02:58 EDT

@Da_Mang: Harrick probably stole it.

Matt_T

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Camp Tiger Claw — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:00:57 EDT

I would like to jump out from behind something and scare the fucking shit out of Jeremy Schaap. Something tells me he would have a hilarious arm-flailing-high-pitched-shriek reaction.

Camp Tiger Claw

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

BigTenObsession — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:00:54 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak:

I actually like Simmons just a tiny bit again after seeing this. He seemed like a normal guy excited to get a chance to hang out with a player from his favorite team.

@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns:
You work for the Michigan State Police?

BigTenObsession

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Da_Mang — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:00:26 EDT

@Matt_T: Didn't Bobby Knight tell him the same thing?

And no thanks on the douchebag in tights video.

Da_Mang

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

kiteless — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:59:57 EDT

That clip made me think of thanksgiving.

kiteless

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Matt_T — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:59:47 EDT

/threadjack
Bob Hartley fired from Thrashers

Matt_T

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Barry Lutz — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:58:57 EDT

The Simmons segment was excellent. He was actually very funny in it. And the scenes at the end from the video game are every sports fan's dream. I'm jealous that Simmons got to do that.

Barry Lutz

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Dead Wrestlers Society — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:56:07 EDT

Maybe they are trying to copy the 60 Minutes formula where they have the various segments that are usually serious in nature and have Andy Rooney or whoever does the close now with sort of a lighter segment.

Dead Wrestlers Society

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:55:33 EDT

That video just broke the network here at MSP. I hope you're happy Will.

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

TheStarterWife — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:54:57 EDT

Bill's not even the biggest douche in the video thanks to the EA intern wearing wristbands.

Did he sweat opening that door?

TheStarterWife

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Matt_T — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:54:22 EDT

My favorite Jeremy Schaap moment was when he jumped out and ambused Jim Harrick. Harrick said "You'll never be the reporter your father is"

Matt_T

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

The Fan’s Attic — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:54:14 EDT

I must agree that the Simmons segment was good. Although, you could barely hear him talk. He must be a bit self-conscious about his voice. I wonder why.

The Fan’s Attic

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

UkraineNotWeak — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:52:15 EDT

This has to be the gold standard of Boston area douchebaggery.

UkraineNotWeak

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Lunatic Fringe — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:51:54 EDT

"The suit absorbs most of the drips"

Then why is he still here ?

Lunatic Fringe

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Rob Iracane — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:51:54 EDT

But it's not even Extreme Male Cameltoe Thursday!

Rob Iracane

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

jwaves2007 — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:51:39 EDT

He had a wide stance in that stall.

jwaves2007

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

StuScott Booyahs — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:51:07 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: As long as she still says, "E-S-P-AHHHHHHN," I can accept her no-blinking

StuScott Booyahs

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

xhack — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:50:33 EDT

Bill Simmons wearing a Golden State Warriors T....

Sports Poligamist?

xhack

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Dead Air ummm Dead Air — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:50:14 EDT

Well at least we can get an accurate measurement of the tent he pitched while around Paul Pierce.

We also know that Bill Simmons could be the uncut part in a male docking experience.

Dead Air ummm Dead Air

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Weed Against Speed — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:49:54 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: Also, did she look good? Rachel Nichols is the ultimate Two-Face.

Weed Against Speed

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

StuScott Booyahs — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:49:06 EDT

I thought I knew you, Will.

StuScott Booyahs

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Arriaga_II — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:47:26 EDT

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Ummm, no thank you.

Arriaga_II

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Sandy Magic Jackson — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:47:25 EDT

The still in the video is taunting me, like watching a faces of death video. You know you don't want to, but there's something inside that wants to know that horror.

Sandy Magic Jackson

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights

Phony Gwynn — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 12:46:50 EDT

But did Rachel Nichols blink? These are the important questions.

Phony Gwynn