<![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> The only thing I enjoy more than Dick Jerardi's smugness and sheer inadequacy is seeing Bill Conlin stare at Dana Pennett-O'Neill as if her head is made of meatloaf. That being said, while he's had a good (meh.) career, I think it's about time he recognized that all solid sportswriting talent didn't start by running coffee for the Times back in '47 when pitchers threw complete games.

PhillyTheKid

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> To be fair, the Daily News is probably the epitome of the city paper. It's entirely about the city, from front to back. It's just a fun little rag with a bunch of crappy sportswriters like Marcus Hayes and Bill Conlin.

Frank Pentangeli

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Bill Conlin answers the question, "What happened to Chet from Weird Science?"

Crookednose

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Trackback

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Bill Conlin lives in the Oscar Meyer weinermobile.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Rory B. Bellows: Please. Conlin hasn't been relevant since the 1980's. I'll take Ray Didinger over Conlin seven days a week and twice on Sundays.

Chamomiles Davis

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Is Conlin saying that Hitler would have been elected chancellor of the internets?

Fire Scott Armstrong

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> I'll never forget the time I turned on Daily News Live, and there was ol' Bill, spitting toward the camera with a nasty case of pink eye. Just when I thought he could do nothing to look more disgusting, there he is in all his highly infectious glory.

Matt P

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Conlin has been a fat fucking moron for centuries now. Complete idiot. Jabba the Hutt. And an arrogant ass.

At least the sumbitch will be dead soon.

Billy Clyde Puckett

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @AugieOjedaFanClub:

The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To order a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.

Kid Canada

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> i eat bloggers and mets fans for breakfast. literally. they are delicious covered in maple syrup and brown sugar. now excuse me, but i have to go to goodwill to buy some more of these awesome ties and reading glasses. they practically give them away!

/bill "tire-neck" conlin

I Heart Poop

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Trackback

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Tuffy: At least beluga whales are polite. And they don't get all upset (and confused) over sabermetrics either, which I appreciate. Oh yeah, and I doubt a beluga whale has ever compared Jimmy Rollins to Ernie Effing Banks.
Whales: 1. Angry Fat Man: 0.

Theodore_Donald_Kerabatsos

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @AugieOjedaFanClub: I thought he used the same "floating beach balls in a big water tank system" as the manatees that write Family Guy.

MrRedDevil

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> This guy is like Andy Rooney without the class.

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Bill Conlin's coffee mug is filled with hollandaise sauce.

digris

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Rob Iracane: You are when you stand next to Conlin.

Tuffy

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @MrRedDevil:

Conlin: .......puppies.....
AA Group Leader: This is AA you sick fuck!!!!!
Conlin: well......I do drink their blood.............
AA Group Leader: GET OUT!!!!

MrRedDevil

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> How does someone with such fat fingers have the ability to press on a keyboard in the proper fashion to access the internet in the first place?
I assume he writes his articles on some sort of oversized push pad they give 3 year olds to teach them the alphabet.

AugieOjedaFanClub

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Rory B. Bellows:

The ugliest columnist in America?

Gourmet Spud

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Conlin: My name.....is Bill....
AA Group: Hi Bill.
Conlin: Um, my name is Bill.....and I eat puppies.....
AA Group Leader: You eat what?!?!?!

MrRedDevil

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Nice to know that Philadelphians have the columnist they deserve.

Rory B. Bellows

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> So, I guess Hitler would have torn that pamphlet right out of Martin Luther's hands.

Scout

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> I bet this guy would never shit on the AOLSports AutoBlog.

Wolf Blitzer

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @MrRedDevil: I'll set the line at Over/Under 4 Months

Cooler Than Warm Milk

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Bill Conlin raped me.

UkraineNotWeak

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> bloggers killed my father.

calmasacucumber

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> How long until Conlin writes a nasty article about "colored people?"

MrRedDevil

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @CardinalRedOctober:
Conlin: Re-remember when you won the NL MVP and I voted for you despite what those idiot bloggers said?
Rollins: Uh, yeah.
Conlin: That was awesome.

lavaughn

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> In the immortal words of a young Alvy Singer:

"What an asshole."

UkraineNotWeak

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Cooler Than Warm Milk: and then starting a blog.

MrRedDevil

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @CardinalRedOctober:

I don't "recognize that I am a dinosaur and that my angry tirades only make me seem scared and kind of sad."

Also, I don't "wash the area between my legs and my crotch."

Gourmet Spud

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> No Hugh Johnson for today's games? And here we've got Jack Arute on the sidelines at the Texas-A&M game with a goatee made of caterpillars.

Pinata

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> $50 on Colin getting shitcanned after the Hitler comment.

Cooler Than Warm Milk

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @CardinalRedOctober: I'm not "svelte".

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> I'm guessing Conlin and Frank Fitzpatrick are bff.

[www.the700level.com]

Enrico

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Saw that picture and immediately thought of:

Well, maybe I'm not "the norm". I'm not "camera friendly". I don't "wear clothes that fit me". I'm not a "heartbreaker". I haven't "had sex with a woman"; I don't know "how that works". I guess I don't "fall in line". I'm not "hygenic". I don't "wipe properly". I lack "style". I don't have "charisma" or "self esteem". I don't "own a toothbrush" or "let my scabs heal". I can't "reach all the parts of my body". When I sleep, I "sweat profusely".

CardinalRedOctober

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> As bewildered as we might be reading a major metropolitan columnist act like a crazed message boarder...

You can forget about Write, Pujols and Holliday. It's all about Jimmy Rollins. Go Rollins!

-- extrasyrupconlin2521

PenskeMaterial

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Rob Iracane:

"I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish church, by the Roman church, by the Greek church, by the Turkish church, by the Protestant church, nor by any church that I know of. My own mind is my own church. All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit."
-Thomas Paine

So he's got both Bill Conlin AND Jon Kitna after him. Double trouble!


Kid Canada

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Rob Iracane: Too much cider in Conlin probably led to that particular blast of non-common sense.

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Bill Conlin is the only guy whose head is fat enough to make those glasses look normal-sized. There, I said it.

PenskeMaterial

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> When did Mariotti gain all that weight?

MrRedDevil

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Thomas Paine was a pamphleteer. Thomas Paine wrote Common Sense. Common Sense was a pamphlet. Bill Conlin hates pamphlets. Bill Conlin has no common sense.

The logic flows like cider, man!

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> I'm confused. Does this mean the Mets all have herpes now?

thetaxman

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @TheSportsHernia: he stole Madden's whole freaking turducken, dude.

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Bill Conlin stole my turkey leg.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Bill Baer is my hero.

And btw, he had a similar incident with another writer at the same paper, Marcus Hayes.

Cooler Than Warm Milk

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Lisa:
oops...damn refresh button...


lisa

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Gourmet Spud:

+1

Kid Canada

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> And the updated response from Conlin (channeled thru Nick Saban)
UPDATE: Conlin just responded with what may be the quote of the decade.

The only positive thing I can think of about Hitler's time on earth-I'm sure he would have eliminated all bloggers. In Colonial times, bloggers were called "Pamphleteers." They hung on street corners handing them out to passersby. Now, they hang out on electronic street corners, hoping somebody mouses on to their pretentious sites. Different medium, same MO. Shakespeare accidentally summed up the genre best with these words from a MacBeth soliloquy: ". . .a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. . ."


lisa

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> The only positive thing I can think of about Hitler's time on earth-I'm sure he would have eliminated all bloggers. In Colonial times, bloggers were called "Pamphleteers." They hung on street corners handing them out to passersby. Now, they hang out on electronic street corners, hoping somebody mouses on to their pretentious sites. Different medium, same MO. Shakespeare accidentally summed up the genre best with these words from a MacBeth soliloquy: ". . .a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. . ."

Yes Bill, tis a pity Hitler didn't live to see the series of tubes in action.

Kid Canada

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Spectacular Sam: Will has been clogged up tighter than a zoning change request in Krakow ever since last night's gorging and it's making him a bit cranky.

Tuffy

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> The only positive thing I can think of about Hitler's time on earth-I'm sure he would have eliminated all bloggers.

I'm not even sure what that means exactly, but I'm pretty sure its beyond ignorant and very offensive.

Matt_T

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> What I love is that Conlin dismisses bloggers as similar to pamphleteers in colonial times.

Yes, the exact same pamphleteers who wrote articulate and impassioned ideas in support of American independence.

Why does Bill Conlin hate America?

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Amazingly, that book cover picture wasn't taken 53 years ago.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> @Tuffy:

+1.

Gourmet Spud

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Man, I loves me some good FJM. And agreed, that last paragraph is pure awesomeness.

Spectacular Sam

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Also worth noting - Bill Conlin has an exquisite fat-guy voice, if he replaced John Goodman as the voice-over in those Dunkin' Donuts commercials I might even call it an improvement.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Aw, leave the guy alone. He hasn't been the same since the Undertaker decided to go sans manager.

Gourmet Spud

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> I thought Bill Conlin was the guy who composed the Rocky theme song.

Kid Canada

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> I'm not sure how it feels to be the Phillies' bitch, but, considering they got waxed by the Rockies, I wouldn't want to be the Phillies ... bitch.

Phony Gwynn

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> "You write a column nobody reads for a glorified suburban paper from a perspective beamed straight in from 1963."

Awesome.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> "Bill, why don't you put down the hot toddy for the cover photo?"
"Suck it, bitch."
"Whoa. Hey. No need to be like that, Bill. I'll put it on this table just outside camera view and you can..."
"Fuck you, whore."
"Okay, everyone! The Beluga whale with Tourette's is taking his cover photo with his mug."

Tuffy

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Will Leitch is the editor of the sports Web site Deadspin. His upcoming book is called "God Save the Fan". He does not require a full-time nurse to tend to his needs; it is a lifestyle choice.

Tuffy

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> I haven't heard the term "epic gagaroo" since the last time I brought my bird to the speakeasy.

Camp Tiger Claw

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> The only thing Bill Conlin is batting cleanup for is a buffet line.

Zing!

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> I enjoy observing Conlin's dander on his suit coat's shoulders during Daily News Live

Trenton Makes The World Takes

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Fat, stupid, and ignorant is no way to go through life Bill.

Spectacular Sam

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> Well, Sir.. I have met some goddamned dirty sons of bitches in my time, and I have met some dirty goddamned sons of bitches. But, you Sir, are, without a doubt, the goddamnedest dirtiest son of a bitch I have ever met.

Trenton Makes The World Takes

]]> <![CDATA[Bill Conlin Probably Just Shouldn't Use Email At All]]> David write is my favorite third-baseman-cum-author.

Rob Iracane

]]>