Nightmare Ant - Deadspin Comments

Nightmare Ant

44 in a Row — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:14:02 EST

Skeets: do you need any more posts for blogdome? I would send it in the normal way but it keeps getting bounced back to me.

All tips should be directed to Nightmare Ant.

44 in a Row

Nightmare Ant

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:12:54 EST

You can't stop Nightmare Ant, you can only hope to contain him.

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

Nightmare Ant

chilltown — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:09:50 EST

Skeets: do you need any more posts for blogdome? I would send it in the normal way but it keeps getting bounced back to me.

Nightmare Ant

Tuffy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:08:57 EST

@UkraineNotWeak: He had better work done.

@She Blinded Me With Violence:

Nightmare Ant

Disgruntled Goat — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:08:45 EST

Wow...just wow. Someone needs to frame the comments from this post.

Disgruntled Goat

Nightmare Ant

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:08:13 EST

Better than Lindsay Lohan.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Nightmare Ant

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:06:10 EST

Did anyone place their bets yesterday for Daulerio's Oddsmakers Post?

I would say I would go with the hometown honey Ms. January Jayde Nicole:

Playboy cropped it just for you!

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:04:51 EST

@UkraineNotWeak: He had a good run.

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

Tuffy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:04:35 EST

@UkraineNotWeak: That's what everyone says near the end of horror movies. Mark my words: Nightmare Ant isn't dead yet.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

Nightmare Ant

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:03:43 EST

Wow there are some serious pics in this post. We need something to offset the balance of madness, and to give a go away present for the nightmare ant.

Nightmare Ant

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:02:54 EST

2:02PM

Nightmare Ant's fifteen minutes are up.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Nightmare Ant

Tuffy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:01:46 EST

@Scout: What did you do? Wake up this morning and say, "Today, I'm going to ruin a Nightmare Ant's life"?

Nightmare Ant

being_sven — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 14:00:03 EST

I feel the wrath of the Iracane building.

being_sven

Nightmare Ant

Scout — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:59:27 EST

Scout: Get out Nightmare Ant. Now that you got what you came for.
Nightmare Ant: Not quite. [spits]
Nightmare Ant: Take 'em off. Do it! Come on!
[Scout stabs Nightmare Ant by throwing a concealed knife]
Scout: Nightmare Ant killed my father, raped and murdered my sister, burned my ranch, shot my dog, and stole my Bible!

Scout

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:58:20 EST

Seeing as how the Nightmare Ant is upon death's doorstep... or at least about to start moving down the page... as an act of contrition for any transgressions in this thread, I humbly come to all of you wearing my Sweater of Sincerity and bearing the Pudding of Peace.

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

Innings Eater — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:57:07 EST

Nightmare Ant

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:53:52 EST

OH MY GOD, THAT ANT WOULD POSITIVE-ELY-ELY DEVOUR ANY AND ALL DELICIOUS CHEEZY-DOODLES AT THE SMITH FAMILY PICNIC. NIGHTMARE ANT, WHILE YOU ARE FROM THE PROJECTS OF PHILLY AND I WOULD TRULY LOVE TO EXTOLL YOUR MANY VIRTUES, I'M AFRAID YOU'RE JUST TOO DANGEROUS TO SMITHKIND.
/SAS

Nightmare Ant does have a lot of upside though. I look for him to be drafted by the Grizzlies next year.

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

Nightmare Ant

Innings Eater — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:53:09 EST

Ugh. I'm too hung over to even post an image properly.

Trust me, it was quite funny.

Nightmare Ant

becky — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:51:40 EST

10 more minutes.
then I will be sad.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

Nightmare Ant

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:51:33 EST

WHAT THE FUCK! WHY IS THAT NIGHTMARE ANT IS STILL HERE?!/?!!!

At least I dreamt of doing coke with Lindsay Lohan & Vanessa Minnillo last night, instead of that nightmare ant. But look at what my Funny Lindsay Lohan Pic started!

FREE FOR ALL WEEKEND, NO HOLDS BARRED MATCH, VS J.E. SKEETS!

Nightmare Ant

Camp Tiger Claw — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:50:38 EST

@Innings Eater: I can't figure out how to do it either.

My old school verbal comedy is getting left in the dust today. This is what I get for trying to hang on the weekends.

Camp Tiger Claw

Nightmare Ant

Innings Eater — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:49:30 EST

[IMG][img89.imageshack.us]]

Nightmare Ant

Fat-Fat — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:48:48 EST

@Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Yes it is. They rock my socks off.

Fat-Fat

Nightmare Ant

becky — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:47:13 EST

@Tuffy:
you have no idea.

Nightmare Ant

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:45:12 EST

@Tuffy: You're right (Re: living in Fort Wayne)...I speak from experience.

Dear Santa,

Mommy and Daddy say I've been a good boy this year, and that I can ask for anything I'd like. So here's my list:
1. An 8GB iPod Nano
2. A Playstation 3
3. A giant can of extra-strength Raid.

Thanks,
FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

Nightmare Ant

Tuffy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:43:58 EST

@chilltown: Christopher Plummer is going to beat your ass for that.

Nightmare Ant

chilltown — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:42:25 EST

@Sh!tShow: its those damned Canadians.

Nightmare Ant

Tuffy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:41:56 EST

@becky: Wow. Breaking up with you must be... important for survival.

Nightmare Ant

Sh!tShow — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:40:00 EST

Man, Weekend Deadspin gets CRAZY!

Sh!tShow

Nightmare Ant

StuScott Booyahs — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:37:16 EST

Why not.

Nightmare Ant

Signal to Noise — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:33:27 EST

(reads through thread, agape)

Jesus, people. What have you done?

+1 to all of you.

Signal to Noise

Nightmare Ant

SA — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:32:48 EST

Um, can someone tell me what the fuck happened? I'm confused.

Nightmare Ant

Innings Eater — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:25:15 EST

What. The. Fuck.

Nightmare Ant

Metschick — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:22:49 EST

I love you guys.

Metschick

Nightmare Ant

Libertariot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 13:15:23 EST

Bobby Hill must be scared shitless right now

Libertariot

Nightmare Ant

becky — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:49:49 EST

Whatever, you guys are gonna miss those mandibles when they're gone!!!

Nightmare Ant

Brazil Thrill — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:38:52 EST

OK, the big-ass ant hasn't left yet, huh? One of these two should take care of it.

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

Nightmare Ant

poutineandgravy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:38:06 EST

Skeets: So Will left me in charge of Deadspin for the weekend. I can do anything I want...

Friend: No way! That's so cool! You should totally put nightmare ant on the front page.

Skeet:
/posts nightmare ant
/furiously tries to take it down

Friend: Will is gonna be soooooo pissed!

(cue cheesy 80s soundtrack)

poutineandgravy

Nightmare Ant

Wolf Blitzer — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:31:57 EST

This Ant looks like a Kobe-Stopper.

Wolf Blitzer

Nightmare Ant

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:31:00 EST

What in the blue fuck is going on here?

Nightmare Ant

Pretty Much Just Another Group of Unassuming, Dangling Modifier Words — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:27:06 EST

I wanna play SimAnt now

Pretty Much Just Another Group of Unassuming, Dangling Modifier Words

Nightmare Ant

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:22:42 EST

It can't be killed!

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Nightmare Ant

Bort — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:19:13 EST

Help me Obi-Nightmare Ant. You're my only hope.

Bort

Nightmare Ant

Scout — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:12:12 EST

Ryan Seacrest - 0 mentions in the Mitchell Report.

Scout

Nightmare Ant

Kid Canada — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 12:02:03 EST

Nightmare Ant for SHOTY 2008.

Kid Canada

Nightmare Ant

Shakεy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:58:49 EST

Looks like everyone had fun last night, eh?

Shakεy

Nightmare Ant

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:55:29 EST

@chilltown:

Nice win. I had money on Man City.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Nightmare Ant

War Penguin — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:55:05 EST

@Tuffy: Not me ... apparently I haven't got that plugin. But we'll be done with this page soon enough.

War Penguin

Nightmare Ant

chilltown — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:53:52 EST

GOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL...! 4-2 Man City!

Nightmare Ant

chilltown — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:46:54 EST

@Tuffy: @being sven: Fuck, I knew I shouldn't have tried that.

But I don't get anything different when I load it.

Nightmare Ant

being_sven — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:42:56 EST

Self-destruction, y'all.

You're headed for self-destruction.

being_sven

Nightmare Ant

Tuffy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:42:28 EST

@chilltown: Honey, no. Now everyone that loads this page gets an automatic video load.

Nightmare Ant

chilltown — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:42:18 EST

@chilltown: FIne, here it is. [www.youtube.com]

Nightmare Ant

Tuffy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:41:56 EST

This is nowhere near as horrifying as actually living in Fort Wayne, though.

Nightmare Ant

chilltown — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:41:39 EST

@chilltown: shit, one more try

type="application/x-shockwave-flash"
wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350" />

Nightmare Ant

chilltown — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:40:51 EST

If this works (probably won't), I believe I've found the inspiration for our ant overlord.

Nightmare Ant

Tuffy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:38:23 EST

Sorry, folks; Drew just tried to copyright this thread. Someone embed Kige or something.

Nightmare Ant

chilltown — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:37:09 EST

GOOOOALLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

Nightmare Ant

Triple B — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:34:45 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: Parker should throw a basketball at her for wearing that hat? You're sooo French Eva.

Triple B

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:31:43 EST

:::Yawn::: Good morning, boys and girls. Reckon it's time to punch the ol' nightmare fuel clock and get the day started, so here's a picture of Eva Longoria with no make-up.

What? Were we done?

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:30:33 EST

Skeets!!! Stop it! I keep checking back to see if something is posted and I keep. getting. this. monster.

Nightmare Ant

Triple B — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:29:23 EST

Is that a fuck Ant?

Triple B

Nightmare Ant

DM — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:23:46 EST

@chilltown: or Antz?

Nightmare Ant

chilltown — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:22:16 EST

I finally realized where I had seen this ant before: one of those crappy Disney animated movies from five years ago (A Bug's Life perhaps?)

Nightmare Ant

being_sven — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:21:10 EST

"Day Ant... fighter of the Night Ant... Champion of the Sun... You're a master of karate and friendship for everyone!"

being_sven

Nightmare Ant

Skeets — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:19:10 EST

@Lisa: It was a blast, thanks.

Nightmare Ant

Scout — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:16:11 EST

And the sweat band around the frontal lobes really brings it home.

Scout

Nightmare Ant

Skeets — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:15:35 EST

...

Nightmare Ant

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:07:07 EST

The ant is better looking than Ken "The Animal" Bannister. Probably also a better rebounder than Bannister was.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Nightmare Ant

Camp Tiger Claw — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:04:34 EST

What the fuck is going in here? No one better have touched my hummel figurines!

Camp Tiger Claw

Nightmare Ant

WFNYScott — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:04:27 EST

looks like Chandler is going to have to update the crossword puzzle to squeeze the Ant in...

WFNYScott

Nightmare Ant

Naptown Drew — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:03:14 EST

If you stare into the ant's eyes long enough he starts telling you to kill homeless people.

Naptown Drew

Nightmare Ant

TheStarterWife — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:02:26 EST

I think Skeets should just leave this up all weekend. This and nothing else.

OR -

Each post just be another picture of Nightmare Ant.

TheStarterWife

Nightmare Ant

Scout — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:01:17 EST

Nightmare Ant was allotted 57 pages in the Mitchell Report.

Scout

Nightmare Ant

Lady Andrea — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 11:00:50 EST

@The Gizmo from Pismo: another Miss April supporter! Go Giuliana!

Lady Andrea

Nightmare Ant

Chamomiles Davis — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:56:59 EST

If this is a preview poster for Space Jam II, I'm throwing myself in front of the nearest moving bus.

Chamomiles Davis

Nightmare Ant

becky — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:52:56 EST

@Lisa:
that's the one thing DC has on NY- less snow.
just cold ass rain.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

Nightmare Ant

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:42:21 EST

@Fat-Fat: Is that a QOTSA avatar? Well played, sir. Well played.

And what the fuck is this post?!?!?!

Nightmare Ant

lisa — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:41:08 EST

@becky:
Mornin' stranger..did you guys get the snowstorm?

lisa

Nightmare Ant

lisa — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:40:14 EST

@J.E. Skeets:
Good morning..thought we wouldn't be seeing you till much later...was the party a blast?

lisa

Nightmare Ant

becky — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:39:19 EST

OMG GOOD MORNING ANT

Nightmare Ant

Skeets — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:36:11 EST

And um, just in case you didn't notice ... Nightmare Ant is going to be above every post here today until 2pm. That might be a good thing considering the way I'm feeling right now.

Nightmare Ant

DM — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:33:12 EST

I'm still hungover, and that ant fucked me up even more.

Nightmare Ant

Phatty — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:26:00 EST

Succinct and to the point. Excellent post.

Phatty

Nightmare Ant

Gourmet Spud — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:25:47 EST

@J.E. Skeets:

They say penicillin was discovered by mistake, too.

Gourmet Spud

Nightmare Ant

Fat-Fat — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:20:39 EST

I just woke up and am scared to death of that picture.

Fat-Fat

Nightmare Ant

Skeets — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:18:04 EST

I am in awe of this thread. +1 million, everyone.

Nightmare Ant

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:15:09 EST

IT'S STILL HERE. IT WASN'T A NIGHTMARE. IT'S REAL!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Nightmare Ant

Gourmet Spud — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:10:22 EST

@Deadspin:

"You...son...of...a...bitch. YOU LIED TO ME!"

- Ant

Gourmet Spud

Nightmare Ant

The Gizmo from Pismo — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 10:06:37 EST

This deserved more posts.

and I hope Miss April wins.

The Gizmo from Pismo

Nightmare Ant

Deadspin — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 09:59:20 EST

Did someone switch the ant's regular coffee with Colombian decaffeinated coffee crystals?

That's the only explanation for the ant being this aaaann-gry.

Deadspin

Nightmare Ant

Lady Andrea — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 09:49:19 EST

This thread is hilarious. And I always new Antie from Honey I Shrunk the Kids would find work.

Lady Andrea

Nightmare Ant

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 09:36:01 EST

Maybe Nightmare Ant ate your baby.
/Benes_Streep

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

Nightmare Ant

chilltown — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 09:20:23 EST

+1s to everyone, particularly suss. Nightmare ant will rule forever! (until Skeets wakes up)

Nightmare Ant

And_You_Shall_Know_Me_By_The_Trail_of_Cheez-Its — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 06:49:18 EST

THIS is what I wake up to? I reflexively punched my monitor to the point of breaking to try and kill that thing.

And_You_Shall_Know_Me_By_The_Trail_of_Cheez-Its

Nightmare Ant

calmasacucumber — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 05:47:30 EST

"...and the captain for your 2008 rutgers lady knights ...NIGHTMARRRRRRE ANT!" (ant...ant..)

calmasacucumber

Nightmare Ant

ItsAlwaysSunnyInGoldenState — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 05:08:29 EST

Good Day: Finals are over
Bad Day: Dan Haren traded for a couple of In N Out Burgers
Good Day: Warriors beat Lakers.
Better Day: Mad Ant Post

ItsAlwaysSunnyInGoldenState

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:17:13 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: Ok. What the fuck? I think that's the interweb telling me to go to bed.Good night all. Thanks for all the info tonight folks. It's much appreciated.

/drunk

P.S. As a person working in the j 'field,' AP is a bitch, but it really does let you cut a lot of corners. Anywho, goood night.

/still drunk

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:13:57 EST

@RockYouLikeAnIracane: No problem, man. Go Gators.

Nightmare Ant

Rock You Like An Iracane — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:12:26 EST

@TattooedMess(iah):
How the hell do you think I get my release from journalism classes and the potential for my life being ruled by the ass who wrote the AP Stylebook?

Thanks much for the tip on EDSBS.

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:10:20 EST

@batts40: @ href="#c3343720">TattooedMess(iah): Agreed.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

batts40 — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:08:31 EST

@farneyismycopilot: No. Southern Illinois...about 5 hours south of Chi-town. Cardinal country, near STL...but I am,and always have been, a huge Cubs fan.

batts40

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:08:04 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: Yea, I agree. Following Strunk and White's Elements of Style doesn't lend itself to using phrases that make the Cultural Oddsmaker and like posts so great.

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:06:29 EST

@batts40: Lucky ass on Central time. Do you live in Chicago?

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:04:58 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): Ha ha. It's not the published thing, it's the fact that it's a part of the intertubes/revolution thing that I like. I can write all kinds of 'acceptable' stuff. The pure, fan-oriented, thing is what makes it fun.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:03:28 EST

Wow, never though of that. 2 nightmare ants is way worse than 1.

2 ants 1 post anyone?

Nightmare Ant

batts40 — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:02:14 EST

It's 3AM....I'm so drunk my eyes won't focus....this thread almost permanently pushed me off the ledge of sanity.

batts40

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:01:00 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: *Idiot Arkansas fans do not apply to those who post on Deadspin.

/Just to clear that up. You folks are funny.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:00:24 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: idiot Arkansas fans

If you wanna make it to the show, you might want to stop with the redundancy. Haha, but yea, it's a good feeling. Although my message to friends was "I'm once again a published writer...weep for the state of literature".

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:58:24 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): I'm not worried about that. I just want to be able to write about how I feel about a game (curses and all) that I attend. I get negative comments daily, so a bunch of idiot Arkansas fans don't bug me.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:54:11 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: Yea man, that's really all there is to it. But like I said, those cretins are too busy being jealous Orson didn't pick them to cover an assignment to read your whole post or treat it fairly, just so you're warned.

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:50:46 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): Holy shit!!!! I chickened out sending him shit about various OSU/Big Ten games this year. I will send him an e-mail about OSU/Michigan next year. (Not that SEC people care, but I can mock the new Mich coach.)

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:48:19 EST

@RockYouLikeAnIracane: Thanks. I'm just lucky writing runs in my blood, since I didn't exactly go to class enough Jr. or Sr. year of high school to learn anything important. Mondays to get my assignments for the week and Fridays to find out where the parties where. I'm lucky my teachers liked me.

And a piece of advice? E-mail Orson saying you can get into an event that he can't, or that he can't attend and give it your best. Doesn't mean he'll post it, but it greatly ups your odds. I'll probably be writing an Orange Bowl recap with the help of another commenter on this site if we make it through that weekend.

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:46:46 EST

@RockYouLikeAnIracane: Nice.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:45:58 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): Yeah, I know. I love EDSBS (and I know you're a SEC fan), but you motherfuckers are nuts.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:44:08 EST

@Brazil Thrill: I saw them New Years Eve 2001. And then again in college (2004 I think). First show was wayyyyyy better than the second I'll say that. The problem with the first show (they were still riding the 'Smooth Criminal' thing) was that the opener was a local institution, so half the audience left after the first act. It killed the atmosphere. Also, it was in an ice rink/arena. In December.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:42:44 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: Well I didn't exagerate my intake from that day, so yea, I remember the game but couldn't have told you who did what. And thanks. Jebus told me not to worry about the guys over there anyway. He liked another piece of writing I sent him about dealing with crazy bitches, but couldn't post it due to the crazy bitches that read his site.

Nightmare Ant

Rock You Like An Iracane — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:42:25 EST

@TattooedMess(iah):
As someone who would give both left nuts to write for EDSBS, well done.

Nightmare Ant

Brazil Thrill — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:41:57 EST

And my short DUAN visit must end. The alky is catching up to me, and my own couch is starting to look too appealing. Nite all.

Nightmare Ant

Brazil Thrill — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:38:30 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: I saw them back in 2001, before the tour bus crash which left one of their members almost paralyzed. I hear their concerts have been a lot less energetic after that. I'm not too hot on their latest album either.

[www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com]

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:35:22 EST

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:35:17 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): I figured. The way you said you were drinking and the amount of coherent notes you took ... it was as if you were the second coming of (drunk) Alice Cooper. Still, nice job.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

Cousins of Ron Mexico — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:31:58 EST

I wish I had a big foam magnifying glass right about now.

Cousins of Ron Mexico

Nightmare Ant

Rock You Like An Iracane — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:31:50 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): Link to EDSBS?

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:28:28 EST

@Brazil Thrill: I've seen them live twice and wasn't impressed, but have friends that swear their show is amazing. I don't know. I guess I didn't see good shows.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:27:00 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: Good to know.

And that's not queer at all, I'm grateful for the positive feedback. No one over there reads enough of the articles to give real opinions. And I was too drunk to take note. The game recap? ESPN all the way.

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:25:42 EST

@PQ Crash: OK, seriously, my dick did fall off that time.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:24:54 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): It's totally better live.(Granted I've only seen MLS, but it was a good game. I got to yell at Tim Howard before he went to England, so, you know, good stuff.)
By the way, not to sound too queer, but I enjoyed the EDSBS piece. Did you take notes or just wing that thing when you wrote it?

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

Brazil Thrill — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:24:15 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: +1 good sir. Plus fucking one.

@Farneyismycopilot: I like Alien Ant Farm. Saw them in concert once, hooked ever since.

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:23:52 EST

@PQ Crash: Almost prop-comic dong! You bastard!

Nightmare Ant

StevieY19 — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:23:47 EST

The fuck is a nightmare an.....oh my god!!!

StevieY19

Nightmare Ant

Rock You Like An Iracane — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:23:44 EST

@PQ Crash: He went to my high school's cross-town rival.

We, mercifully, do not print pictures for the football game every year...

Nightmare Ant

Rock You Like An Iracane — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:21:47 EST

Hip-hop DUANers, if you exist: Joe Budden goes at Jay-Z on this... [www.youtube.com]

...and references this:
[www.youtube.com]

Nightmare Ant

PQ Crash — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:21:15 EST

Has anyone wondered what the inspiration was behind the Nightmare Ant?

PQ Crash

Nightmare Ant

ThatMarkDude — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:19:52 EST

*Nothing says "sexy" like having an auxiliary set of mouth parts grasp the back of your head as you kiss.

ThatMarkDude

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:19:32 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: It's all good. I'm FUBAR right now anyway. But that's a good question. I've always wanted to give soccer a chance (it's good on tv sometimes, but I know sports are better live). I don't know, it's not like I've gotten e-mails from Will constantly asking me when I'm going to use the tickets. Gawker hasn't paid for shit yet (if ever) in that deal so it's not skin off their balls.

Nightmare Ant

ThatMarkDude — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:18:46 EST

Is it necessary for him to have both human-like mandibles as well as a set of giant face pincers? It seems sort of unfair.

I bet the ladies just line up to make out with this guy. Nothing says "sexy" set having a auxiliary set of mouth parts grasp the back of your head as you kiss.

ThatMarkDude

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:16:21 EST

OK I give. That's just fucking hysterical.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:15:38 EST

Sweet dreams, gentlemen.

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:15:15 EST

... and then subsequently leave you with this one of Clemson defensive end Ricky Sapp.

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:14:49 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: You are forgiven.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:14:09 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): That's pretty fucked. Would they accept an exhibition? Like LA vs. Arsenal in Miami? (If it were to happen.) Sorry for the interigation. Drunk and not tired and the fucking ant is creeping me out. I received an e-mail from the Mad Ants a while back with that thing and almost shit myself.

/incoherent rant over

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:12:12 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: Oh. Well, since it didn't, then how 'bout this one. And I suppose Brazil Thrill will especially appreciate it...

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:11:41 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: If I recall right, it's DC. But I think the tickets were only good for a game featuring the Galaxy, so that happens only once or twice a season.

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:09:42 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): What is the closest team to you? I know the MLS isn't that big in the South.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

cowbell204 — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:08:47 EST

I IZ IN UR COMPOOTUR, STEALIN UR IMIGEZ

cowbell204

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:08:38 EST

@Brazil Thrill: Are you a fan or just posting that for the humor? It's hard to tell sincerity/sarcasm at this hour.
/drunk

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:07:19 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: No, I didn't. Gawker not including money for travel hampered my efforts. I still want to use them if the offer stands, but if I can't I'm willing to give them to a commenter who can.

Nightmare Ant

poutineandgravy — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:06:17 EST

But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle had finished. He had won the victory over himself.

He loved the ant.

/I need to stop drinking gin.

poutineandgravy

Nightmare Ant

balt — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:06:10 EST

The image of Nightmare Ant will haunt my dreams forever.

balt

Nightmare Ant

Brazil Thrill — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:04:25 EST

I prefer the singing ants myself.

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:03:17 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): Question.(Not related to anything.) Did you ever get to use those soccer tickets for the look-a-like contest? Apologize, if you've answered this before.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:01:30 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: I'm from Miami. Is that all you've got? (No, really, that's not an invitation to try and gross me out. You win)

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:00:01 EST

@StuScott Booyahs: Nice exit.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

StuScott Booyahs — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:58:52 EST

That's all for me folks! Goodnight everybody!

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:56:56 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: That almost makes up for the other post. Almost.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:55:52 EST

HOLY FUCKHOUSE, LOOKIT THAT ANT!!! AND THAT BITCH THROWIN' WATER BALLOONS AT US, TOO!!! AIIIEEEEEE!!!!

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

bearcats_are_people_too — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:54:31 EST

@bearcats_are_people_too: I hate my life.

bearcats_are_people_too

Nightmare Ant

bearcats_are_people_too — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:52:48 EST

[IMG][www.cognition.ens.fr]]

bearcats_are_people_too

Nightmare Ant

Rock You Like An Iracane — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:50:37 EST

@StuScott Booyahs: But that's just truth.

I have never been as excited for a game as I am for the new GTA.

Nightmare Ant

Rock You Like An Iracane — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:47:27 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: Un-fucking-necessary.

Nightmare Ant

StuScott Booyahs — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:44:27 EST

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:44:01 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: Thanks. I think my dick fell off. *looks around* Yep. There it is. *points at floor*

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

DontPracticeRenteria — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:43:40 EST

wat is an ant

DontPracticeRenteria

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:42:55 EST

Is anyone on here an NCAA soccer fan? I want to talk (read: learn something) about the finals. I cared when I was at OSU, but since graduation I've stopped keeping up with the team. Can OSU win this or will it just be like all our other National Title games in the past year?

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:42:42 EST

You're welcome.

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:42:29 EST

How 'bout some more Nightmare Fuel to the fire?

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

StuScott Booyahs — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:37:17 EST

Has the whole world gone CRAZY! AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES!

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:36:43 EST

Well I guess I'm drunker than I thought the sports field What the fuck is that. A sports related field. That's better.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

RedDear — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:35:29 EST

This post is DSHOF material.

RedDear

Nightmare Ant

Matt Sussman — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:35:00 EST

Ya know, I should probably see if I can fix this.

Then again:

Matt Sussman

Nightmare Ant

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:30:36 EST

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Nightmare Ant

Deadspin — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:30:23 EST

@ Nightmare Ant: I'd like to remind you, that as a trusted deadspin commenter, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in your underground sugar caves.

Deadspin

Nightmare Ant

HazelMaesLandingStrip — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:30:22 EST

Jesus Christ I smoked some f'd up weed. How the hell am I going to pass out with this in my mind? Shit I've got to go drink some more.

HazelMaesLandingStrip

Nightmare Ant

Rock You Like An Iracane — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:28:01 EST

I'm not even drunk and I'm not going to be able to sleep for an hour or so more.

Thanks for nothing, Skeets.

Nightmare Ant

Farneyismycopilot — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:26:17 EST

OK, so I'm getting drunk (got off work about two hours ago) so I don't have to think about work. (Note: I work in Northwest, Ohio roughly 30 minutes from Ft. Wayne, Indiana and I work in the sports field.) And this is what I see. Thanks a bunch Deadspin. Thanks. Cocks.

Farneyismycopilot

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:26:04 EST

Sussypants- if you're going to break the thread, post tetris again.

Nightmare Ant

Matt Sussman — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:24:13 EST

Matt Sussman

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:22:58 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: That may have been a lie.

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

StuScott Booyahs — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:17:25 EST

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:16:18 EST

@TattooedMess(iah): Nah, talkin' 'bout the ant. With a shovel.

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

Deadspin — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:15:14 EST

@ Nightmare Ant: You killed Nibbles, you bastard!

Deadspin

Nightmare Ant

StuScott Booyahs — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:14:46 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: I'd hit anything with a hole at this point.

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:14:00 EST

*due to that pic

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:13:50 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: With a sack full of doorknobs?

Ugh, I can't even pass out drunk to do that pic.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

Nightmare Ant

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:08:03 EST

I'd hit it.

She Blinded Me With Violence

Nightmare Ant

44 in a Row — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:05:12 EST

This is certainly an interesting development...

44 in a Row

Nightmare Ant

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:03:54 EST

@EnVague: Kent Brockman?

@Coming Into The Game, The Superstar Receiver, Of Your Upper Deck Torontooo BJsss: @Coming Into The Game, The Superstar Receiver, Of Your Upper Deck Torontooo BJsss: FOLLOW ME, FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM!

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Nightmare Ant

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:03:52 EST

Nightmare Ant

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:03:11 EST

FUNNY LINDSAY LOHAN PICS! Save Us and Our Dreams!!!

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

Nightmare Ant

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 02:00:55 EST

WRHATTH THE FHHUCK IS THATHIS?!? NIGHTMARE FUEL IS SAYS TAG!
I can't go to sleep what that that someone Raid it! No no I said RAID Mr. Clemens. Anyone here?!?

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

Nightmare Ant

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 01:54:46 EST

Who else is pumped for Mike Greenberg's ABC game show, Duel ? I KNOW I AM!

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

Nightmare Ant

En Vague — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 01:51:43 EST

HAIL ANTS

En Vague

Nightmare Ant

TattooedMess(iah) — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 01:49:39 EST

Whoa, I picked the wrong site to visit after coming back from the bar. I'm fucked up beyond repair (this is probably gonna take me over 5 minutes to type) and I'm ...not sure where i'm going with this so happy Saturday everyone. see you in 12 hours.