Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO! - Deadspin Comments

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Arn Ziffel — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 20:00:17 EST

Natty Boh and a night in East Baltimore. Both bound to leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Arn Ziffel

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

bigboneded — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 19:40:35 EST

Cotton-headed ninny muggins.

/late

bigboneded

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dieter — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 19:35:42 EST

@Signal to Noise: 2girls1cupofcrabsoup.com

/it took me 4 hours to come up with that

Philadelphia Eagles of Death Metal

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

JimmyChitwood — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 19:27:34 EST

There is something about the Sonic commecials that draw people in. I live in SF and a friend of mine from Boston had never eaten at Sonic, so they organized a road trip to a Sacramento suburb. They took pictures.

JimmyChitwood

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

algiers4 — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 19:08:36 EST

@Cousins of Ron Mexico:
it comes from the land of pleasant living. my most prized possession is actually a huge "National Beer" sign (before they had to change the name to Natty Boh). I think it may actually be illegal to take 12 packs out of the mid-Atlantic region.

algiers4

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Philadelphia Eagles of Death Metal — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 18:48:38 EST

@IsoldmysoultoMilhouseVanhouten: No, Dagobah is a place.

/back to Jedi Camp!

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

IsoldmysoultoMilhouseVanhouten — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:59:07 EST

@Civil Negligence:

No, it's dago. Dego is a place, dago is an ethnic slur.

IsoldmysoultoMilhouseVanhouten

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Chamomiles Davis — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:58:50 EST

@Gourmet Spud: My father, a rather conservative white guy who NEVER watches sports, for some reason decided to gush profusely about what a great player Brian Westbrook is. BDD is on point.

Of course, it doesn't hurt that Westbrook attended my alma mater, Vanillanova.

Chamomiles Davis

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

EggandCheeseonaRoll — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:56:38 EST

Bert! Ernie! Its me, George!

EggandCheeseonaRoll

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Mr. Bigglesworth — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:51:14 EST

@LesMilesIsAMouthyDouche: Good call on Patricia Ford. Tasty Hawaiian Food!

Mr. Bigglesworth

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Mr. Bigglesworth — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:48:07 EST

@Shtickless: Peanut Butter M&M's > Reeses Pieces

Mr. Bigglesworth

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

IfindUrlacherfaithdisturbing — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:22:59 EST

I'm calling bullshit on the Kurt Warner story. No fucking way he's ever had a blackberry schnapps.

IfindUrlacherfaithdisturbing

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Drew Magary — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:14:03 EST

Yeah, that Sonic food looks fucking disgusting. Their real chili dog looks like a sexual chili dog.

Drew Magary

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

joshpr — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:13:35 EST

He's an angry elf.

joshpr

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

lordjoebill — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:05:56 EST

This man has heard of The Wire - his sophistication knows no bounds.

lordjoebill

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

KipBoomGoesTheDynamite — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:57:35 EST

Got our first Sonic here in the sticks this summer. Cars were lined up around the block and they had to have people directing traffic for 3 weeks. Sad, really. Sonic's good, but not that good.

KipBoomGoesTheDynamite

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

kayceebk — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:43:34 EST

No Purple Jesus in that Manger? Blasphemy! and I'm a Giants fan.

kayceebk

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

blastitbiggs — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:40:03 EST

Sonic's been advertising in Michigan for about 10 years and is just now breaking ground on one in Southgate, or so I've heard.

blastitbiggs

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dieter — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:30:55 EST

@ThatMarkDude: You know, if he had blown off his head, he totally would have been more revered.

By writing that, BDD displayed his knowledge that Layne Staley died of an overdose, unlike Cobain, who blew his own head off.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:30:04 EST

@Farneyismycopilot:

We eventually just settled on 4:30, because no one could sober up before midnight.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Afino — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:29:42 EST

@TomahawkFlop:

Well, I was taking it off of that. Glad you got the joke.

Afino

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Clare — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:25:50 EST

@Christ Sabo: That sounds like fun. It must be nice to have friends. I wonder what that's like.

[single tear]

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Rob Iracane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:24:51 EST

@Carlton_Whitfield: You forgot the foreskin.

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon:

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

tuckpendleton — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:22:59 EST

The two things I miss most about college in the South:

1. A superhuman ability to begin drinking bourbon at 7 in the morning with no reprucussions the next day. (This may also have to do with being 18.)

2. Chik-Fil-A. Manna from heaven.

Also -- spring and hot southern ladies in sundresses.

Also, Drew, you can expect a year in review letter from Dan Shanoff about Tim Tebow. In case you missed every column he wrote this year.

tuckpendleton

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her! — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:22:30 EST

@Christ Sabo: Brilliant. Just f*cking brilliant. +4 (one for you and each of your friends)

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her!

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:21:37 EST

Gerald!

Fuck yes!

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:20:59 EST

@crazyjoedavola: Sable AND whitefish? Throw some capers on there and it sounds like you've made yourself the Larry David sandwich at Leo's Deli, my friend.

Carlton_Whitfield

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Christ Sabo — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:19:59 EST

Yesterday, me and three of my friends (all aged 20) went to the mall to get our pictures taken with Santa. As they said 'Cheese!' we all made our best 'weird' faces. The little kids surrounding us in line were all sort of freaked out and the parents were disgusted that we could make a mockery of such a tradition. We paid for our timeless picture and left. It was such a grand moment. I just needed to share this story, that's all.

Christ Sabo

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

BigTenObsession — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:19:38 EST

If they consider a $26 bottle of wine to be expensive, well, fuck them indeed.

BigTenObsession

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

The White Boom Boom — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:19:16 EST

This was fantastic...I think it cured my hangover.

The White Boom Boom

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Signal to Noise — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:18:46 EST

@Dieter: in about ten minutes or so there will be a porn site dedicated to Old Bay fetishes.

Signal to Noise

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Sigerson — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:18:40 EST

Re: bartender in the family restaurant that turned into a dive bar:

"We serve hard drinks to hard men and we ain't got no 'characters' to give the place atmosphere."

and

"That's it! Out the door or tru da winda!"

Sigerson

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

crazyjoedavola — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:18:35 EST

@Lamppost: I have never had the guts to try it.

Wife is Polish though. Kielbasa and Eggs were the best food she brought to the marriage

crazyjoedavola

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

MannysHeadStash — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:18:30 EST

I don't get the jokes and it appears you can't recognize accuracy.

-jdamatoxxx

MannysHeadStash

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dieter — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:17:03 EST

@weedagainstspeed: The women I know don't have pubic hair. They may, however, have crabs. I think they'd be pissed if I sprinkled Old Bay around down there, though.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Rob Iracane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:15:57 EST

@Scout: Just kidding, Deadspin weekend coment sections are wide open for random liveblogging. Go crazy!

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Scout — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:15:04 EST

@Rob Iracane: ouch. I'll make sure to stay away.

Scout

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Rob Iracane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:13:48 EST

@Scout: Afterwards, you can look up 'sarcasm'. Or maybe beforewards instead.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:13:41 EST

@crazyjoedavola: Baccala = Salted Cod Fish

UpstateUnderdog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

DennyCrane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:13:08 EST

@crazyjoedavola: All herring needs to be destroyed. I want that shit extinct. Fuck Greenpeace.

DennyCrane

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:12:51 EST

@crazyjoedavola: It's salted cod!

-Corado Soprano

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Farneyismycopilot — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:12:50 EST

@Gourmet Spud: Scotch-Irish Catholic. Christmas Eve consists of lots of drinks, ignoring grandma, either 4:30 p.m. or Midnight Mass and then more drinking and ignoring of said grandma.

Farneyismycopilot

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

THE hoi polloi — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:12:36 EST

@She Blinded Me With Violence: My old roommate and I got a card from some kid named "David" about 6 years ago with the words, "Horray Christmas" and his named written in scratch that looked like a retarded, hook-handed, blind child wrote it. We had no idea who this child was, but it was too classic to throw away. Needless to say, not only do we trade it back and forth every year, a copy of it has been included inside my Black Santa card ever since.

THE hoi polloi

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

ThatMarkDude — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:12:33 EST

Layne Staley overdosed. No head-blowing was involved.

ThatMarkDude

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Signal to Noise — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:11:58 EST

@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: @Clare: hear, hear.

Signal to Noise

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

crazyjoedavola — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:11:45 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: A lot of my friends are italian. What the hell is bacala? Jews have the six fishes at breakfast

Lox
Sable
Whitefish
Herring
Sardines
Gefilte

crazyjoedavola

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Scout — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:10:45 EST

@Rob Iracane: I'm more than happy to oblige. The family from overseas was here alllllll November and my Xmas holiday is done.

My 5 semi-functional internet connections are the only question.

Scout

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

pr0FF'3ss0r_j'3rkwh3at — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:10:33 EST

@Clare: Yay for fat!!

/stuffs more holiday chocolates in mouth

pr0FF'3ss0r_j'3rkwh3at

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:09:34 EST

@UpstateUnderdog:

Irish Catholic, but we do the same. I try to sneak in a foot-long rib sub at lunch, though.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Signal to Noise — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:09:05 EST

I have seen worse than the dreaded "year in review" letter.

One couple sent a published "year in review newsletter," written like it was a goddamned newspaper with "articles" on what they accomplished that year. I don't know if they have kids yet; I presume not. Hopefully this continues, as I can't conceive of how much they could fuck up potential offspring.

Signal to Noise

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:08:44 EST

@Clare: @weedagainstspeed: @j-no: @Civil Negligence: @StevePerryPsychOut: we always had pizza as the non-fish dish on Christmas Eve

UpstateUnderdog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

parker91 — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:07:47 EST

@Civil Negligence: by the time you get to the smelt you wished that it was the night of only 5 fishes

parker91

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

DennyCrane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:07:47 EST

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Checkers, my friend. Any place that categorically refuses to list its ingredients or nutritional information is a place you want to go.

DennyCrane

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Clare — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:07:05 EST

@j-no: Portillo's? JEALOUS!

@Clare: Also, we are fat.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Clare — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:05:46 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: We did that on Christmas one year, but we stretched the definition of what is "fish:" shrimp cocktail, crab dip, Caesar salad with anchovy paste in the dressing, spaghetti with tuna (which was gross), linguine with clams, and I made a Nigella Lawson salmon thing that nobody liked except me.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:05:44 EST

You can keep all your Sonic's and White Castles... Harvey's makes a hamburger, a beautiful thing!

Also their onion rings are the shit.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

StevePerryPsychOut — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:04:21 EST

@j-no: Lasagna here, too. I did ask for Portillos to be shipped to me in college for a Christmas gift once. Didn't work out.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

DennyCrane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:04:15 EST

I'm waiting for BDD to tackle Private Gentlemen's Club.

DennyCrane

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her! — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:03:54 EST

@Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast: As long as you tie a bow onto your package.
/starved for entertainment

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her!

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:03:23 EST

@StevePerryPsychOut: I still can't eat Octopus. However, I do like eating other types of puss.

UpstateUnderdog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

StevePerryPsychOut — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:02:59 EST

@Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast: Only if you're going to a Catholic church, are an altar boy, and are under the age of 14.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

pr0FF'3ss0r_j'3rkwh3at — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:02:49 EST

@being_sven: dear God, there are not enough +1's in the world to let you know how much I appreciated that. I had to leave my desk to finish laughing so as not to disturb the cubicle neighbors

pr0FF'3ss0r_j'3rkwh3at

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:02:37 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: Ah, the "Feast of the Seven Fishes". Not a Catholic but I'm half-Dago so we have crab legs and Porterhouses every Christmas Eve.

Weed Against Speed

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

BruschisBrewsky — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:02:36 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: Damn, other notable chains missing around these parts include White Castle, Checkers, Chick-Fil-A, Culvers, and so on...

Don't these places realize there is an untapped market of obesity and potheads up here, too? Get with the program people!!

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

J-No — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:02:29 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: We eat Italian Beef from Portilios and home made Lasagna.

J-No

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:02:12 EST

@Shea Guevara: I had eggs and keilbasa for supper last night. Booya!

Also another thing that irks me during the holidays. The relatives who bring over their fancy pants bottle of wine and proceed to tell everyone how much it costs every time someone pours a glass. Fuck you and your $26 bottle of wine.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:02:01 EST

@1980DavidBowieFromTheMusicVideoAshesToAshes: My bad. That's what I get for being a functional retard, I guess.

Also Christians:
I'm going to my first Christmas ever this year. Is it considered appropriate to get drunk and naked, running around yelling "CHRISTMISAROO!"?

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Civil Negligence — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:01:12 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: It is 'dego' and yes, but our family was so poor we only had 3 (maybe 5) fishes at our feast.

Civil Negligence

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

StevePerryPsychOut — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:00:25 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: not anymore, but Grandma still threatens us with Octopus...

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

StevePerryPsychOut — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:59:43 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: Jack in the Box is great too, but I'm too far north for that, also...

@David Hume: Your friend could have at least sent a "Woodland Critter Christmas" card. That would have been the considerate thing to do.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Sheepblog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:59:37 EST

BDD does not smell like beef and cheese. He does not sit on a throne of lies and he certainly knows what song they sang to Santa on his birthday.

Sheepblog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Rant_Casey — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:59:22 EST

People who send those pictures of their kids as xmas cards need to be raped in front of said kids.
There are people who send this shit out with pictures of high school kids on them. Look at little billy's mustache! Enough God Dammit. Enough.

Rant_Casey

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

DennyCrane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:59:16 EST

Funny you pick Minnesota and falling off a bridge. In Minnesota,, you can just wait for the bridge to fall on its own.
/I'm an asshole

DennyCrane

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:58:46 EST

any other Dago catholics here eat only fish on Christmas eve ?

UpstateUnderdog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:57:55 EST

@Dieter: Where do you store them after you get them out of the pubic hair?

/sorry

Weed Against Speed

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dead Wrestlers Society — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:57:41 EST

@Fuck Lion: Don't order the chicken nuggets. They are tiny, overcooked and taste like shit. Just stick with the basic #1 combo.

Dead Wrestlers Society

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:57:38 EST

@Bruschis Brewsky: not only that, at Sonic they bring the food to your car !

UpstateUnderdog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

shea_guevara — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:57:08 EST

@BigRicks: Holy fuck, yes.

But why just for Xmas? I live in a big Polish neighborhood, and if you go to a diner, you can get pretty much any breakfasty egg item with kielbasa. Or pancakes. Or grilled cheese. Or soup.

shea_guevara

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dieter — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:56:43 EST

Natty Bo is perfect for one thing: washing down mouthfuls of Old Bay while eating crabs.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:56:23 EST

@Fuck Lion: do it, and get there early for their breakfast chicken biscuit sandwich. But , like Rob mentioned earlier don't go on Sunday because you will be shit out of luck.

UpstateUnderdog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Farneyismycopilot — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:55:26 EST

I still want the hoverboard I asked Santa for back in 1989. Fucking asshole.

Farneyismycopilot

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

crazyjoedavola — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:54:16 EST

@UkraineNotWeak: What time do we go to the movies?

crazyjoedavola

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dead Wrestlers Society — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:53:25 EST

@Afino: @Bruschis Brewsky: The onion rings are amazingly good.

Dead Wrestlers Society

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

TomahawkFlop — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:53:06 EST

@Afino:

I was gonna say.....I thought it was "FUCK YO COUCH", of course FUCK YO RAFT is classic also...

TomahawkFlop

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

LesMilesIsAMouthyDouche — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:53:06 EST

My Dad writes those year in review letters. I always enjoyed the ones when I was in high school.

"David started High School this fall, he likes it."

Because "David started High School this fall, he spends all his time in his room with door closed masturbating to the Patricia Ford Mailing List" just would not have been appropriate.

LesMilesIsAMouthyDouche

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:52:58 EST

I am officially renaming my Christmas Party the Jamboroo.(TM 2007 - BDD)

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:52:33 EST

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: It would take three hours anyway.

@RockYouLikeAnIracane: What? Okay.

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Civil Negligence — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:52:11 EST

A certificate for enrolling a loved one in the 'Jelly of the Month Club' requires no wrapping whatsoever. Think about it.

Civil Negligence

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Rob Iracane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:52:10 EST

@Scout: My Christmas miracle? You liveblogging the game in the Deadspin comment section.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

HugsFromHarold — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:51:59 EST

Where's the defecating Pau Gasol?

HugsFromHarold

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

BruschisBrewsky — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:51:43 EST

@Afino: As a new england resident, i feel your pain. especially when i'm half baked at 11:30 pm and those ice cream commercials come on.

damn you sonic, you munchie cockteasers...

R'ock You Like An Iracane

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

David Hume — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:51:43 EST

In high school, a friend's nosy Maude Flanders-ish mom busted another friend for having a party. Friend sent the mom in question an anonymous xmas card with an extreme closeup picture of his a-hole inside it. Friend's mom was Jewish, by the way.

That might just be my favorite christmas memory.

David Hume

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

ClownForPound — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:51:20 EST

We have before us the Rams and the latest team with recommended movie distractions. If we blow it... bring on the Natty Bo and Staley grade horse. (The new version of AIC is surprisingly great live.)

ClownForPound

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

R'ock You Like An Iracane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:50:47 EST

@1980DavidBowieFromTheMusicVideoAshesToAshes: Your favorite rapper isn't Li'l Jon, perchance?

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:50:28 EST

I'd pay good money to see the year in review letter that accompanies the Schilling Christmas card we saw earlier. Actually on second thought if Curt writes it I'm probably better off not reading it.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:50:23 EST

I spent the entire Jambaroo waiting for a Bad Santa reference, and it never came. Well, they can't all be winners!

Doyle McPoyle

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Fuck Lion — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:50:15 EST

Dark M&M's are tits.

@UpstateUnderdog: I recently found out there's one in Sioux City, IA, which is a 90 minute drive. I am strongly considering making that drive some random weekend afternoon.

Fuck Lion

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Remington Steal — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:49:58 EST

@CubsDynasty: Luckily my family's so drowned in Bloody Marys Crimmus morning that nobody's counting shit.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

ArkansasFred — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:49:32 EST

I had to walk the three blocks from Bubbles salon to my office carrying a tiny purple bag with a gift card in it. Hope the girlfriend stretched those jaw muscles out today.

ArkansasFred

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:49:27 EST

@Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast: Yeah, I called him out on that. Also, I should give him a -1 for using the word "skit". I hate that word. More than anything.

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:48:55 EST

Will the abbreviated Jamboroo be supplemented by an extended SSW?

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

BigRicks — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:48:35 EST

Eggs and Kielbasa for Christmas Breakfast owns.

BigRicks

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:48:33 EST

Shouldn't Purple Jesus be in that manger?

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:48:32 EST

Nothing like Chinese food on Christmas. Ah, to be a Jew on Christmas Day. What sweet memories.

UkraineNotWeak

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

being_sven — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:48:31 EST

"Well, well... Ju-just say helllllo to it... Say-say "Hello, penis!" Just give it a little wave! Helloooo!"

/Dana Carvey as Jimmy Stewart

being_sven

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

CubsDynasty — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:48:27 EST

@Remington Steal: No one counts how many glasses of wine you have, but if you have a twelve pack of beer before lunch everyone wants to know whats wrong. Or so I've heard.

CubsDynasty

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

GreatOdensRaven — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:48:25 EST

I'm also a big fan of the mean universe Martini The Bartender:

"Look here! We sell hard drinks for men who wanna get drunk fast."

That's it. Out you two pixies go, through the door or out the window!

GreatOdensRaven

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Clare — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:48:12 EST

My father and I have watched Christmas Vacation enough that between the two of us, we can do a dramatic reading of the entire screenplay.

@becky: I'm doing the same thing this Christmas. My parents are retired; they have nothing better to do all day than wrap gifts. I work two jobs. You're getting your presents in gift bags and you will like it, goddammit.

[backbackthenthen.wordpress.com]

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Cousins of Ron Mexico — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:48:09 EST

That's the first game time beer I've never seen. It makes me want to drink it all the more.

Cousins of Ron Mexico

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

MickelsonsManBoobs — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:47:59 EST

Tony Romo is practicing cupping TO's balls in the nativity scene

MickelsonsManBoobs

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:47:42 EST

@Clare: @weedagainstspeed: yeah, missed those but glad to see we all agree about the coat thing.

UpstateUnderdog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Afino — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:47:35 EST

@UpstateUnderdog:

What hurts the most is all the Sonic commercials up here. Yet there isn't one within 500 miles.

Afino

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

She Blinded Me With Violence — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:47:11 EST

This could have been the most unique game in NFL history.But... but the Superbowl last year had a matchup of two black head coaches! Didn't you appreciate that? APPRECIATE IT, DAMMIT!

Christmas Cards: I'm at the age now where people send each other Christmas cards, featuring pictures of their kids. It's a subtle way for people to tell you LOOK AT HOW GORGEOUS MY FAMILY IS! WE LIVE WELL! I enjoy coldly analyzing all of their children's physical flaws. "Jeez, that kid got fat!"

NOTE: If you include one of those "family year in review" letters in your Christmas card, you're a douche. I don't care about that whitewater rafting trip you made in August. Fuck your raft.

This has happened to me for 5 years in a row, except it's a picture of five people I don't recognize and the letter talks about people I don't know. I feel I should write these people and let them know that their loved ones aren't getting their letter, but I've kinda become attached to these people and look forward to hearing how well little Joey, Evelyn, and Margaret did in school and how much they've grown the past year. I framed one of the pictures they sent me and it's currently on the dresser in the guest bedroom.

Nightmare Ant bless us, everyone.

She Blinded Me With Violence

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

R'ock You Like An Iracane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:47:10 EST

So Drew likes the Nutcracker?

How about the Ghetto Nutcracker?

R'ock You Like An Iracane

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:46:40 EST

"I'm sick of carrying my jacket."

I just leave my coat in the car, even if it is 30 below zero. It's much easier that way.

UpstateUnderdog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Remington Steal — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:46:31 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: and
@Afino: I understand I haven't lived up to my regional fast food responsibilities, but if, during my brief jaunt to Wisco for the holidays, I've got time for some Culver's, then I'll go another five years without Chik-Fil-A.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dead Wrestlers Society — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:46:21 EST

@becky: You'll get there one year. It took me forever.

Dead Wrestlers Society

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:46:15 EST

Wow. Miles is an angry elf.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

JohnCocktosten — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:45:22 EST

@MitchKayak: I have also never seen It's A Wonderful Life. I am very proud of this accomplishment.

JohnCocktosten

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Rusty — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:45:02 EST

Smoked salmon is actually very low in mercury. Swordfish, tuna, and shark - predator fish - are the ones that you're only supposed to eat once a month.

Stop sullying the smoked salmon industry!

Also, I prefer smoked trout and horseradish cream.

Rusty

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

BruschisBrewsky — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:45:00 EST

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: So long as you include a 3 sentence paragraph explaining the events which led up to said masterpiece (i.e. why yes, i did consume shepherds pie last night).

Merry Christmas!

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

J-No — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:44:58 EST

Me: So, is that all?
Dad: Is what all?
Me: Are these all the gifts? Didn't forget anything?
Dad: Uh... no.
Me: Are you SURE?
Dad: What are you, a fucking retard?

Drew,
If your Dad smacked you on the back of the head as he said it, I am certain you are my long, lost brother.

J-No

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:44:51 EST

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation > A Christmas Story

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

BigTenObsession — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:44:31 EST

Wow, Weintraub is getting really good at these.

Wait, what?

BigTenObsession

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

becky — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:44:27 EST

I can't wrap a present to save my life.
gift bags = lazy efficiency.

becky

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:44:19 EST

@Remington Steal: I am sad for you.

@Afino: or Sonic or Whataburger. Now I'm even more depressed, but we got lots of snow.

UpstateUnderdog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

The Fan’s Attic — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:44:16 EST

Things BDD hates:
Rain: Rain on Christmas is like getting the flu before your bachelor party.

See Alanis, rain on your wedding day isn't ironic, it's something you hate.

The Fan’s Attic

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Scout — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:43:57 EST

My Christmas miracle? The Texans game gets 5 throwgasms this week. That's more than the sum total of the past 15 weeks' games.

Scout

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

HIV 2 Elway — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:43:54 EST

I have a family friend who writes a year in review letter, but in it all he does is summarize how much shit his wife fucked up that year. It is rather amusing.

HIV 2 Elway

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

meyer hochstein — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:43:30 EST

Kurt Warner: Sometimes Maude God bless her, she underlines passages in my Bible because she can't find hers.

Matt Lienart: Oh. Lucky they don't keep guns in the house.

meyer hochstein

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Afino — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:42:57 EST

@UpstateUnderdog:

Or Bojangles. That makes me want to punch a baby.

Afino

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

StuScott Booyahs — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:42:44 EST

Beautiful, as always.

StuScott Booyahs

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Phony Gwynn — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:42:33 EST

@MitchKayak: I thought I was the only one! I've also never seen Miracle on 34th Street. What, just because it's old I should give a shit? You know what else is old? Larry King. Fuck him, too.

Phony Gwynn

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Remington Steal — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:41:51 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: I've lived in North Carolina for five years and still haven't eaten at a Chik-Fil-A.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:41:50 EST

@Bruschis Brewsky: Fuckin' A!

I'm marrying in to a family which carries on this festive tradition. Next year I'm just going to send them all a polaroid of a really solid morning after shit. That is something I'm always proud of.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Canadian Impostor — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:41:29 EST

@KC Cal: I watched it eight times one Christmas.

Canadian Impostor

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:41:19 EST

@Clare: I live in Minnesota and leave my coat in the car anyway. Otherwise I would be sweating like a whore in church.

Weed Against Speed

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:40:15 EST

We don't have Chik-Fil-A up north.

/sheds tear

UpstateUnderdog

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:39:41 EST

Martini the Bartender.

One of the two great roles in the acting career of Sheldon Leonard. The other being Harry the Horse in Guys and Dolls.

Of course he went on to produce TV shows like Dick Van Dyke and I Dream of Jeannie.

UkraineNotWeak

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Clare — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:39:37 EST

You know what egg nog is? ELF CUM!

Drew, I hear you on the too-hot stores. But unless you live in Minnesota or something, sack up, man! Just leave the coat in the car and haul ass from the car to the Sears entrance! That's what pro shoppers [points to self] do.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

BruschisBrewsky — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:39:28 EST

@Farneyismycopilot: Don't be so hard on yourself, with a few more capitalized letters you would've been nominated for ESPN commenter of the week.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:39:27 EST

5 out of 5 conservative white people agree: Brian Westbrook is a hero.

If someone had actually said "he's one of the good ones" this week, I would have only been a little surprised.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

pr0FF'3ss0r_j'3rkwh3at — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:39:10 EST

Fuck paper bag handles right in the goat ass

pr0FF'3ss0r_j'3rkwh3at

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Remington Steal — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:38:59 EST

Cabernet, huh?

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

MitchKayak — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:38:51 EST

I've never seen Its A Wonderful Life, and I hope to keep that tradition alive for many more years to come.

MitchKayak

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

JohnCocktosten — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:38:33 EST

Bravo for pointing out how hot it is in the department stores. Why do they fucking do that?

JohnCocktosten

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:38:28 EST

Spot on - can't disagree with anything Drew wrote about the holidays.

Weed Against Speed

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

notthequarterback — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:38:23 EST

Fuck SNL for making it so hard to track down classic skits on YouTube.

And fuck you BDD for not giving us a Jambaroo next week.

And Merry Christmas.

Where's the tylenol?

notthequarterback

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:36:41 EST

You really missed out on having Adrian Peterson as Baby Jesus. Tsk tsk.

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Chuck Knoblockhead — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:36:32 EST

I did the same thing as a kid, hoping there would be some gift that my parents "forgot" about. Except there actually was and I got a computer, suck on that BDD.

Chuck Knoblockhead

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Farneyismycopilot — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:36:19 EST

@Bruschis Brewsky: Merry Christmas to you sir.

@Farneyismycopilot: Way to close the italics assfuck.

Farneyismycopilot

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Dieter — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:35:59 EST

You want a Zippo, not a bic. That way you can drop it in the pool of gas at her feet and not get burnt yourself.

Not that I've given it any thought or anything...

Actually, I've always thought that when Mr. Orange shoots Mr. Blonde, the Zippo would remain lit and result in Marvin Nash's fulmination.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Matt Sussman — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:35:55 EST

Also, Ren & Stimpy's Crock-O-Christmas CD is in my car. I can go get it if you want.

♬ We wish you a hairy chest wig ♬ We wish you a hairy chest wig ♬ We wish you a hairy chest wig ♬ And a bucket of beards

Matt Sussman

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Katni — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:35:30 EST

Give me The Ref over A Christmas Story any day. If only my family were that functional....

Katni

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Rozelle’s Bagman — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:35:27 EST

Pottersville 16 BEDFORD FALLS

/home team in CAPS

Rozelle’s Bagman

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

crazyjoedavola — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:35:00 EST

Sable>smoked salmon (lox for the tribal members among us)

and if your adventurous, gutting a whitefish on the table and eating it.

crazyjoedavola

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Farneyismycopilot — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:34:57 EST

NOTE: If you include one of those "family year in review" letters in your Christmas card, you're a douche. I don't care about that whitewater rafting trip you made in August. Fuck your raft.

A-fucking-men.

If you have friends, or assholes, who do this, a fun thing to do is get drunk with your family and bond over the one thing everyone can bond over: making fun of the people who put this thing together.

Farneyismycopilot

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

CubsDynasty — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:34:52 EST

Be a man and have your wife do all the christmas shopping/wrapping/cooking.

CubsDynasty

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

shtickless — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:34:50 EST

They make holiday Reese's Pieces now. Just letting you know.

shtickless

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Matt Sussman — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:34:22 EST

Sean Taylor was posthumously Photoshopped into an earlier version of that manger scene.

Matt Sussman

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Kccal — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:33:42 EST

The other gripe about "A Christmas Story" is how the cable stations play it 24 hours straight, which kills the fun out of it!

Kccal

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Katni — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:33:22 EST

@Rob Iracane: What Would Jesus Do? Jesus would make me some goddamned waffle fries and lemonade, that's what.

Katni

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:33:06 EST

It's log. It's log.

It's better than bad. It's good!

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

BruschisBrewsky — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:31:59 EST

"NOTE: If you include one of those "family year in review" letters in your Christmas card, you're a douche."

+10.

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Phony Gwynn — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:31:40 EST

I actually got a length of rope and razor blades from a coworker for our Secret Santa.

He also got me some booze, too, so it was cool.

Phony Gwynn

Jamboroo, Week 16: CHRISTMASAROO!

Rob Iracane — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:31:33 EST

And if there's a Chick Fil-A in the mall, then it's automatically a good day.

Unless it's a Sunday, then fuck you, that's Jesus' day.