Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy - Deadspin Comments

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Shawon-O-Meter — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:36:23 EST

Are you sure you're not actually supporting Hillary, Will? With damning comparisons like that....

Shawon-O-Meter

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

AngryJoeMagrane — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 12:54:57 EST

Rick Ankiel is the Aaron Miles of Cardinal baseball.

AngryJoeMagrane

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Kishi — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 04:21:35 EST

See, Ruth actually could pitch. Ankiel couldn't, hence the position change.

Micah Owings is a far better comparison to Ruth.

Kishi

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

BraveSrRob — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 22:01:52 EST

@BruschisBrewsky:
Wade Boggs: A true Man of Fame

BraveSrRob

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

BruschisBrewsky — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 20:53:03 EST

@BraveSrRob: Let us also not forget about Wade Boggs and his feared knuckle-ball.

Oh, and he also made the HOF while drinking a 30 rack of miller lite a day. That's gotta be worth bonus money.

BruschisBrewsky

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

BraveSrRob — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 20:17:16 EST

@Yostal: What about Mark Whitten? Hard hittin' Whitten pitched occassionally when he was with the Tribe. He had a 94 mph fastball...for 10 pitches. Then it dropped into the 70s.

BraveSrRob

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

metalmaniac — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:58:05 EST

@Yostal: Ah, but then that would mean that Boras actually knew something about the history of baseball.

metalmaniac

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

JimmyChitwood — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:50:46 EST

Doug Dascenzo disagrees with Scott Boras...

JimmyChitwood

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Tuffy — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:41:44 EST

@twoeightnine: Couldn't decide whether to type "twenty-fifth man" or "25th man"?

Tuffy

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

tater — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:39:57 EST

John Goodman was more of a Babe Ruth than Ankiel.

tater

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

KoSuKe Fuk-U — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:21:42 EST

I hope Rich Garces hires Boras for his major-league comeback bid. I can see it now:

"You have a player whose contributions came first as a pitcher, then as a participant in dozens of hot dog eating contests," the agent said. "The last player you're really talking about is Babe Ruth."

KoSuKe Fuk-U

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

J-No — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:07:04 EST

I played with Babe Ruth: I knew Babe Ruth; Babe Ruth was a friend of mine. Outfielder, you're no Babe Ruth.

J-No

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

A Pimp Named DaveR — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:06:41 EST

Other Boras negotiations:

"Mr. Vick excels in TWO sports. This hasn't been seen since Deion Sanders, Bo Jackson, and... um... Dick Groat."

"Mr. Garcia is utilized by the team as a quarterback, but is fully capable of going both ways."

"My client has performed at the peak of his abilities in both the American League and the National League, as well as setting records in the minors. No other player -- Rodriguez, Bonds, Clemens -- can claim that distinction. Mr. General Manager, if we don't see a max contract for the San Diego Chicken, we walk."

A Pimp Named DaveR

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 18:03:48 EST

Boras would have gotten Jose Oquendo a 30 million dollar a year contract

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Paul Zuvella — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:58:19 EST

"You have player whose contributions came first as a pitcher and then as a guy who slept with Alyssa Milano. The last 5 players you're really talking about are . . ."

Paul Zuvella

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Yostal — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:58:05 EST

Mr. Boras, I may be wrong, but wouldn't Stan Musial have been the more apt comparison, especially given the franchise?

Yostal

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Gourmet Spud — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:56:17 EST

@MadmanMundt:

Nicely done.

Gourmet Spud

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

twoeightnine — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:54:45 EST

Brooks Kieschnick is rolling over in his grave.

DAMN YOU TO HELL! If it wouldn't have taken me 5 minutes to figure out how to spell Kieschnick...

twoeightnine

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Marth — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:54:23 EST

"You have a player whose contributions came first as a center fielder, then as a wife-abusing womanizing half-blind shell of a man," the agent said. "The last player you're really talking about is Kirby Pucket."

Marth

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Mr. Bigglesworth — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:53:42 EST

Jose Canseco pitched an inning or 2 if I recall. He also juiced. It's the circle of life.

Mr. Bigglesworth

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

MadmanMundt — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:52:58 EST

Scott Boras will be negotiating Barbaro's new contract based on his contributions as both a racing horse and a can of dog food.

MadmanMundt

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

LeagueofShadows — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:52:50 EST

@Dread: I traded a Curtis Martin rookie card for his rookie card once. Kieschnick was cool.

LeagueofShadows

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Fuck Lion — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:48:44 EST

@Kid Canada: Might as well. If you're a pitcher with a throwing arm that is still attached to your shoulder, you're worth $30 million easy. Long live bad pitching contracts.

Fuck Lion

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

SlantedAndDisenchanted — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:47:41 EST

Hey this story reminds me that there's a great book coming out about how the fun has been taken out of sports for fans everywhere. Man, what's the name of that book...Anyway, it hits shelves on Jan. 22.

SlantedAndDisenchanted

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Jefferson Short Bus — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:47:39 EST

Expect the Cards to counter with a comparison to Steve Blass.

Jefferson Short Bus

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

The Teufel Shuffle — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:47:28 EST

Obama juices?

The Teufel Shuffle

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Dread — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:47:01 EST

Brooks Kieschnick is rolling over in his grave.

Wait, it's only his career that is dead.

Dread

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

S.O.L. — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:45:20 EST

@Gourmet Spud: He is a third baseman... He films the action, and distracts the Blue Jays, by screaming.

S.O.L.

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Kid Canada — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:45:14 EST

"You have a player whose contributions came first as a pitcher, then as a position player."

You sure you wanna hang your hat on those "contributions" as a pitcher, Scott?

/throws wild pitch
/throws wild pitch
/throws wild pitch
/throws wild pitch
/shits pants

Kid Canada

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

GorgeForeman — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:44:57 EST

Scott Boras is fluent in Shortstackian.

GorgeForeman

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Monkey Bidness — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:43:46 EST

Deadspin... your one stop source for Rick Ankiel news.

Monkey Bidness

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Gourmet Spud — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:42:57 EST

I'm pretty sure A-Rod is both a pitcher and a catcher.

Gourmet Spud

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

TheLou-Do — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:41:54 EST

Babe Ruth used the original performance enhancer, booze.

TheLou-Do

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

Carlton_Whitfield — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:41:41 EST

Will's Bambino bobblehead can't believe this comparison.

Carlton_Whitfield

Rick Ankiel's Depressing Big Buddy

econdave — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:38:16 EST

With this, Boras has jumped the shark.

econdave