For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV - Deadspin Comments

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Theodore_Donald_Kerabatsos — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:49:34 EST

@Chief Wahoo: Confirmed.

Theodore_Donald_Kerabatsos

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

UTFLW — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:37:10 EST

Let's see, Yes, Kid, Kid, Dude

UTFLW

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Chief Wahoo — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:36:29 EST

@Chief Wahoo: Man, my joke sucked.

Chief Wahoo

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Larry Burns — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:31:24 EST

@Cloverfield_of_Dreams: He's not the best color man in the league for nothing folks.

Larry Burns

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Chamomiles Davis — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:29:00 EST

Now I have no reason not to think that Sirius won't get around to devoting at least one channel to coverage of HeroClix tournaments:

Announcer 1: "Dexter is using Jean Grey to telekinetically throw Blizzard into the middle of his opponent's army."

Announcer 2: "Looks like he's getting ready to unleash a pulse wave on 'em, Dave."

Announcer 1: "Here comes the dice roll... AND IT'S DOUBLE SIXES! Two clicks of unmodified damage plus knock-back for EVERYONE surrounding Blizzard!"

Announcer 2: "Wow, what a great move by Dexter! If that guy had a girlfriend, he'd be getting a congratulatory handie for sure when this match ended!"

Chamomiles Davis

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Chief Wahoo — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:24:58 EST

Greg Oden misses the times he listened to the bear-baiting results on the telegraph.

Chief Wahoo

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Burnination — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:18:35 EST

@Burning_River:
Daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough... old enough for me.

Burnination

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Afino — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:17:14 EST

@Burning_River:

SE-VEN-TEEEEEEEEEEN!

Thanks for putting that song in my head.

Afino

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Chuck Knoblockhead — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:16:24 EST

@katni: Janis Ian, Dyke.

Chuck Knoblockhead

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

ArkansasFred — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:15:15 EST

It really speaks volumes about the staying power of poker as it is currently going technologically backwards.

ArkansasFred

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Im Hafner the man I used to be back when I was using PEDs — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:12:08 EST

"She's only seventeen" > "At Seventeen". That's really the song you want to sing at the top of your lungs with the windows down. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an interview with Chris Hansen to attend to.

Im Hafner the man I used to be back when I was using PEDs

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

DennyCrane — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:11:44 EST

Fuck poker.
(I don't really have a joke. Sorry.)

DennyCrane

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Katni — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:11:15 EST

@Suss:
Winger > Stevie Nicks > Janis Ian

Katni

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Microbano — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:10:00 EST

Nothing new here. 'Dutch' Obama got his start in show business broadcasting poker on the radio.

That KILLED on Wonkette.

Microbano

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:08:12 EST

Harry Doyle: That's all he had, one goddamn pair?

Assistant: You can't say goddamn on the air.

Harry Doyle: Don't worry, nobody is listening anyway.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Matt Sussman — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:03:46 EST

I was thinking of "Edge of Seventeen." Although "At Seventeen," while not a song you can really sing loudly is equally acceptable as embarrassing if you know it.

Matt Sussman

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

The New Math: 86=1 — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:02:02 EST

@Lady Andrea: Dwight, what is on your stomach? Is that a Muppet Babies tattoo? Yes, that is Animal from the Muppet Babies.

The New Math: 86=1

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

44 in a Row — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:01:58 EST

Personally, I'll stick to reading live coverage of the World Series of Darts over an Edison Universal Stock Ticker.

44 in a Row

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:01:21 EST

I know you arent't talking about this:

"When I was seventeen, I drank some really good beer. I drank some really good beer I purchased with a fake ID. His name was Brian McGee. I stayed up listening to Queen. When I was seventeen."

/Homer Simpson

Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Tebow2007 — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:01:18 EST

i hope my "Go Fish" tuesday night game and "Uno" thursday games get picked up on radio simulcasts too.

Tebow2007

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:00:42 EST

Now, when they call a spade a spade, we'll have no choice but to believe them.

Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Cloverfield of Dreams — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 16:00:10 EST

Harry Doyle: One royal flush? That's all we got? One goddamn royal flush:
Other guy: You can't say goddamn on the air.
Harry Doyle: Don't worry, nobody's listening anyway.

Cloverfield of Dreams

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

thebristolkid — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:59:48 EST

@Fuck Lion: "HA Haaaaaah...here we are, 4 cards on the table, one card left in the deck that can save him...Daniel Negreanu's looking for the ace and heeeee......GOT IT!!! AND THAT'S IT! After leading for the entire hand! Phil Ivey! HEART! BREAK! CITY!"

/Gus Johnson

thebristolkid

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Slothrop — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:59:39 EST

Will there be secret messages and decoder rings?

--ovaltinefan1955

Slothrop

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Kid Canada — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:59:28 EST

@ClueHeywood:

RRRRRINGinginginging...

Kid Canada

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Kccal — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:58:41 EST

Can't wait for the Spanish Broadcast:
TODO ENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Kccal

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Chuck Knoblockhead — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:57:44 EST

@Larry Burns: He plays the part of a loser to perfection.

Chuck Knoblockhead

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:57:11 EST

In case you still haven't recovered from the sheer joy of listening to paint peel live.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Lady Andrea — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:56:18 EST

@ClueHeywood: Let the record show that Dwight K. Schrute is now completely nude.

Lady Andrea

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Stev D — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:55:07 EST

Poker on the radio? Boo. TV on the Radio? Yay!!!
-parkslopehipdude2006

Stev D

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

She Blinded Me With Violence — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:54:01 EST

@I Party With Smoot: I Party With Smoot, line one, please.

She Blinded Me With Violence

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:53:34 EST

@buttons: @I Party With Smoot: I'm waiting for the World Series of Bingo. The radio coverage of it of course.

UpstateUnderdog

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

SourKrautSaul — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:52:54 EST

Now if they just played the sound of the cards being shuffled that might be kind of soothing.

SourKrautSaul

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

David Hume — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:52:09 EST

Wow, I don't know what folded faster, Ivey facing Lederer's diamonds, or a lawn chair facing my third wife's ace...

/Norman Chad

David Hume

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

44 in a Row — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:52:09 EST

Weekday Sussman? Wonders never cease.

44 in a Row

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Phony Gwynn — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:52:03 EST

Still, nothing beats cribbage via Morse Code.

Phony Gwynn

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Paul Zuvella — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:51:11 EST

Poker on the radio? Stern has been doing that for years

Paul Zuvella

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Kid Canada — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:50:24 EST

@StupidAngelos:

GOOD GOD! TH...THAT'S ALLEN CUNNINGHAM'S MUSIC!

Kid Canada

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

I Party With Smoot — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:50:14 EST

Poker? Eh.

Call me when they get to backgammon.

I Party With Smoot

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

StevieY19 — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:49:54 EST

Can't believe poker made it on radio before World's Strongest Man.

StevieY19

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Matt_T — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:49:39 EST

Please use "The Gambler" as the intro music. Kenny Rgers could use the royalties.

Matt_T

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Sarcastro — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:49:13 EST

Every single day, my faith in humanity erodes just a little bit more. I mean, they do this and I still can't catch a bingo broadcast.

Sarcastro

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

StupidAngelos — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:49:09 EST

@Afino: AS GOD AS MY WITNESS KING, HELLMUTH HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF! THIS AIN'T BALLET, FOLKS!

StupidAngelos

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Sh!tShow — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:48:41 EST

Poker on the radio?

I'm straight.

Sh!tShow

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Fat-Fat — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:48:26 EST

@buttons: Or a Scrabble tournament.

Fat-Fat

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

ClueHeywood — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:47:34 EST

I AM NOW CUTTING OFF PHYLLIS'S HEAD WITH A CHAINSAW!

Back to you, Norm.

ClueHeywood

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Civil Negligence — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:47:31 EST

Isn't part of the fun of watching poker drooling at the large piles of fake money they show as the prize?

Civil Negligence

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

buttons — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:47:09 EST

How long until we get spelling bees on the radio?

buttons

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Kid Canada — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:46:52 EST

Big blind passes to seat 4, back to big blind, back to seat 4, seat 4 holds it, holds it, HOLDS IT!!!!!!

and folds.

Kid Canada

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Phony Gwynn — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:46:22 EST

I've been told I have a poker face made for radio.

/rimshot

Phony Gwynn

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

She Blinded Me With Violence — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:45:50 EST

PROGRAMMING NOTE
Immediately following "World Series of Poker Radio": Mike Matusow and Phil Hellmuth in Pardon the Pretentiousness.

Seriously though, they need to get Gus Johnson on the call or I don't care.

She Blinded Me With Violence

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Fat-Fat — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:45:45 EST

Will they mic up the players so I can hear that one weirdo yell, "CHARK", instead of "SHARK" God I hate poker in all media forms.

Fat-Fat

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Fuck Lion — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:45:32 EST

Is Gus Johnson doing the commentary? I'd tune in for that.

Fuck Lion

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Chones_Chonies — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:45:26 EST

Great news! Can't wait to catch the ESPN Radio Classic's replay!

Chones_Chonies

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

shea_guevara — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:44:55 EST

Great to listen to on those long road trips from the check cashing place to the blood bank!

shea_guevara

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Afino — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:44:39 EST

BAH GAWD, KING! IT'S THE 6 OF HEARTS! PHIL IVEY HAS JUST WON THE WORLD TITLE! AND PHIL HELLMUTH IS ABOUT TO MURDER PHIL IVEY! LOOK AT HIS EYES!

/jim ross

Afino

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Josh Zerkle — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:42:53 EST

As long as it doesn't have Drew Barrymore in it, I'm down.

Josh Zerkle

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Larry Burns — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:42:47 EST

Yessir, Norm Chad yakkin' it up on the old yak-box.

Larry Burns

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

The Vigilante Face — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:42:23 EST

World Series of Poker Tour: Ruining E"S"PN "Classic" since 2005.

The Vigilante Face

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

StevieY19 — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:42:18 EST

How will I know what cards they have?

Oh, nevermind, I don't care.

StevieY19

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

Stay Away From Oprah — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:41:59 EST

How are we supposed to know what Annie Duke's breasts look like on a given day?

Stay Away From Oprah

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:40:57 EST

Well, this sure takes the fun out of those occasional Jennifer Tilly appearances.

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

For Those Who Can't Handle The Sheer Intensity Of Cards On TV

BigTenObsession — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:40:00 EST

Stu Ungar was the tits. Quite possibly the greatest gin player that ever lived - even better than that snooty Omar Shariff.

BigTenObsession