Bear Down, Barack Obama - Deadspin Comments

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Unamerican — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 03:09:31 EST

'We will advance in Iraq through the 4-3 defence. This will be augmented by our new commander, General McMahon, who will soon be replaced by either Lt Gen. Harbaugh or Col. Tomczak. Then, I'll burn all my good-will by making a horrible rap video and getting in a fight with the very person who got me here (who is also, it must be said, a hateful dick). After that, I will offer all americans the chance to buy over-priced and very dry porkchops!'

Unamerican

Bear Down, Barack Obama

PotKettleBlack — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:47:13 EST

@Yinka Double Dare: Ditka is the new Kiss. [upload.wikimedia.org]

PotKettleBlack

Bear Down, Barack Obama

RonZookonRedBull — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:54:24 EST

Ditka's candidacy would have been over before it began once he met his opponent and remarked "Hey! Whaddaya know dis O'Bama guy is black!"

He would run much better against the Clintons, as he'd throatpunch the both of them.

RonZookonRedBull

Bear Down, Barack Obama

StevePerryPsychOut — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:46:21 EST

@Tuffy: +1

StevePerryPsychOut

Bear Down, Barack Obama

AstronautDinosaurFiretruck — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:40:53 EST

@LeagueofShadows: I don't know, Hakeem was an absolute monster those two years. The real shame was that we never got to see the Bulls and the Rockets (the two best teams of the 90s) play each other.

AstronautDinosaurFiretruck

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Tuffy — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:40:30 EST

@j-no: On top of it all, it was all over a pair of Kool-Aid Man sneakers. Kids, it isn't worth it.

Tuffy

Bear Down, Barack Obama

J-No — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:36:56 EST

@teamosil: That wasn't it. It goes back to a bar fight where someone wound up dead.

J-No

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Chamomiles Davis — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:33:19 EST

Come on, people -- Ditka was a great coach, but he couldn't even manage a simple retirement fund for NFL veterans! There's no way the people of this country would vote for a man who failed at almost every venture he was placed in charge of!

...Oh.

Chamomiles Davis

Bear Down, Barack Obama

BigTDog — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:32:08 EST

I hate Illinois Nazis

BigTDog

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Tuffy — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:20:27 EST

@Lady Andrea: Governor Barkley doesn't take kindly to your attempts to inject gambling into this debate.

@Yinka Double Dare: I always thought it was the ground-up pineal glands from illegal immigrants.

Tuffy

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Deadspin — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:19:15 EST

@racistmascot_inc: Thanks to Ditka, Obama will be doing the Super Tuesday Shuffle next week.

Deadspin

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Beer-Fart — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:18:08 EST

Ditka: the name that is virtually perfect for a porn actor.

Butkus: perfect for gay porn.

Beer-Fart

Bear Down, Barack Obama

The Fan’s Attic — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:14:43 EST

Looks like Ditka got a UFIA.

The Fan’s Attic

Bear Down, Barack Obama

LeagueofShadows — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:13:23 EST

@Lady Andrea: Gotcha

LeagueofShadows

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Lady Andrea — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:12:04 EST

@LeagueofShadows: yes, I know what you meant and I also know the Bulls would've won 8 straight. I was just being sardonic.

Lady Andrea

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Scout — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:11:28 EST

@Chicago Jones:

But I thought he was just there to look around...that's all.

/that's what he said to me

Scout

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Stay Away From Oprah — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:09:37 EST

One can only hope that Golic and Greenberg would have been able to parlay their friendship into cabinet positions.

Stay Away From Oprah

Bear Down, Barack Obama

The Fan’s Attic — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:07:33 EST

@Stay Away From Oprah: great minds and all.

The Fan’s Attic

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:05:27 EST

Barry Melrose is intrigued by Mike Ditkas wardrobe and would like to subscribe to his personal shopper.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Chicago Jones — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:05:03 EST

@SlickBomb: Strippers I can get behind; it's the swingers that freak me out.

Chicago Jones

Bear Down, Barack Obama

EditorOfTheDailyFaberian — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:04:54 EST

@LeagueofShadows: Will Perdue would have shut down Hakeem in the Finals.

EditorOfTheDailyFaberian

Bear Down, Barack Obama

The Vigilante Face — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:04:17 EST

But how could have Obama won against God?!

The Vigilante Face

Bear Down, Barack Obama

LeagueofShadows — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:03:05 EST

@Lady Andrea: That's why retired is in quotations. The Bulls would have won eight straight.

LeagueofShadows

Bear Down, Barack Obama

YukMouth — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:02:53 EST

Ditka vs. Impotence....

YukMouth

Bear Down, Barack Obama

the earl of weaver — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:02:29 EST

viewers who watch ditka debate for more than 4 hours will probably need to seek emergency psychiatric attention

the earl of weaver

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Lady Andrea — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:01:53 EST

@LeagueofShadows: you mean if he hadn't take 2 years off to get his gambling under control? Right.

Lady Andrea

Bear Down, Barack Obama

teamosil — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:59:18 EST

rumor is, da coach had some "pete rose-esque" issues that kept him from running against obama, or racing against rick mears in a bus full of da bears.

teamosil

Bear Down, Barack Obama

BloggyMcBlogBlog — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:59:10 EST

You're telling me that Ditka would have done worse than Alan Fuckin' Keyes?

BloggyMcBlogBlog

Bear Down, Barack Obama

LeagueofShadows — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:59:05 EST

@Lady Andrea: What's funny is that if Jordan had "retired" for two years, that prediction likely would have been true.

LeagueofShadows

Bear Down, Barack Obama

LeagueofShadows — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:58:26 EST

Sausage......Sausage....Daaaaaaa Bears.

LeagueofShadows

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Randall Tex Cobb — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:58:21 EST

Ditka versus Cook County's voting dead?

Ditka, Daley would vote for him.

Randall Tex Cobb

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Chicago Jones — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:58:08 EST

@Yinka Double Dare: For me it's the chocolate cookie straws in the shakes.

Chicago Jones

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Lady Andrea — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:57:28 EST

Ditka 4 President: We're not talking repeat, threepeat, or even a fourpeat. We're talking a minimum eight-peat

Lady Andrea

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Stay Away From Oprah — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:57:19 EST

@The Fan's Attic: same page. ha.

Stay Away From Oprah

Bear Down, Barack Obama

The Sports Hernia — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:56:06 EST

If I don't show up to work tomorrow wearing those majestic shades, please harpoon me.

The Sports Hernia

Bear Down, Barack Obama

SlickBomb — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:56:02 EST

Even more surprising was that Obama might have won in Illinois if some guy didn't drag 7-of-9 to a strip club. True story!

SlickBomb

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:56:02 EST

GOP Executive: We just heard back from Ditka. No dice.

GOP Chairman: (sighs) Get me Butkus.

Gourmet Spud

Bear Down, Barack Obama

I Heart Poop — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:55:57 EST

ditka would have a tough time explaining his participation in hurricane ditka that ravaged new orleans long before katrina.

I Heart Poop

Bear Down, Barack Obama

racistmascot_inc — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:55:47 EST

We ain't here, to start no trouble. We're just here to do the Senate House Shuffle.

racistmascot_inc

Bear Down, Barack Obama

The Fan’s Attic — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:55:21 EST

Mike Ditka was busy finding out a way to imbezzle funds that were supposed to go to NFL Veterans that suffered injuries while playing football.

The Fan’s Attic

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Stay Away From Oprah — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:55:08 EST

Ditka's fundraising would have handicapped him though considering 83% would have went to overhead.

Stay Away From Oprah

Bear Down, Barack Obama

crazyjoedavola — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:55:07 EST

Would have been the most lopsided debate victory since Bentsen-Quayle.

You are no George Halas Coach Ditka.

crazyjoedavola

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Dan Daoust — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:54:34 EST

Ditka vs. Obama in South Carolina and only registered Democrat African Americans can vote?

Ditka.

Ditka, but it's close.

Dan Daoust

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Kid Canada — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:54:11 EST

Ditka, 965,421 electoral college votes. Obama, negative 13.

Kid Canada

Bear Down, Barack Obama

FuzzysFriedChicken — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:54:03 EST

Ditka: 4,756,132
Obama: 3,269

Da Bears!

FuzzysFriedChicken

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Matt_T — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:53:56 EST

What if the ticket was Ditka/mini-Ditka?

Matt_T

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Brazil Thrill — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:53:39 EST

Watch out for da bear... market.

Brazil Thrill

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Rob Iracane — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:53:33 EST

Would his Lieutenant Governor have worn a wedding dress on the cover of some upstart new magazine?

Rob Iracane

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Yinka Double Dare — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:53:23 EST

@Tuffy: I think lunacy is the secret ingredient in the ice cream that makes it tasty.

Yinka Double Dare

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Camp Tiger Claw — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:53:22 EST

We should put Mike Ditka on the border!

So he'd get stabbed.

Camp Tiger Claw

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Jerkwheat — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:52:59 EST

Ditka - 398709% of the vote
Obama - -12%

Jerkwheat

Bear Down, Barack Obama

CubsDynasty — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:52:54 EST

mini-Ditka would have won 200% of the vote

CubsDynasty

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Yinka Double Dare — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:52:45 EST

Ditka's far too busy hawking his Mike Ditka Wine and Mike Ditka Cigars to have time for this politics shit.

Yinka Double Dare

Bear Down, Barack Obama

ArkansasFred — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:52:23 EST

"I have a lot of commitments that I've made previous to this coming up, some obligations to my partners here at (his) restaurant. And therefore, it's something that I can't do at this time."

Ditka added, "I would also lose by an embarrassingly large margin. So no thanks."

ArkansasFred

Bear Down, Barack Obama

racistmascot_inc — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:52:12 EST

Okay, but what if it was Hurricane Ditka?

racistmascot_inc

Bear Down, Barack Obama

The Sports Hernia — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:50:53 EST

Button down shirt, tie, BEARS SWEATER, jacket.

Genius.

The Sports Hernia

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Rob Iracane — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:50:25 EST

Ditka is so dumb he makes Lynn Swann look politically savvy.

Rob Iracane

Bear Down, Barack Obama

Tuffy — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:50:08 EST

No more ludicrous than Oberweis.

Tuffy