'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?' - Deadspin Comments

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Bobby Doucher — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:29:49 EST

@Signal to Noise:
It's not hard to make the connection between this guy and "anal leakage"

Bobby Doucher

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Bobby Doucher — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:27:11 EST

@Civil Negligence:
"Hey, Bart! Remember Alf? He's back...in pog form!"

Bobby Doucher

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Bobby Doucher — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:25:21 EST

-Entered a drinking contest with Dana Jacobson expecting to win.
-Chose to be Dana Carvey's agent rather than Mike Myers' after seeing Wayne's World 2
-Preordered a large supply of Crystal Pepsi

Bobby Doucher

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Bobby Doucher — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:19:45 EST

-Owns an iPod Mini

Bobby Doucher

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Bobby Doucher — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:16:13 EST

-"Bet on the fight in Rocky III and bet against Rocky."
/Dirty Work reference
-XFL season ticket holder
-Entered into a three picture deal with Heath Leger
ohhhh...too soon??

Bobby Doucher

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

IchiroSuzukiSamurai — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 02:33:04 EST

Bet his life savings on Greg Oden as 2007-08 Rookie of the Year

IchiroSuzukiSamurai

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

NovakAintNoJokovic — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 18:20:36 EST

@A Pimp Named Daver4470: Took Poland and the points in 1939 vs. Wehrmacht
Yeah, but the spread on that one was HUGE! Even FDR didn't think the Fuhrer could go undefeated until early '42...

NovakAintNoJokovic

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Carson — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 17:48:00 EST

Bought a Zune.

Carson

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Carson — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 17:32:02 EST

It's tough to explain to a Boston fan that you're supposed to still back your team when they lose.

Carson

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Rozelle’s Bagman — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 17:24:09 EST

• Moved to Montana to become a dental floss tycoon.

Rozelle’s Bagman

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Most Dangerous Game of Grab-Ass — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:56:53 EST

• Got involved in a land war in Asia.
• Went in against a Sicilian when death was on the line.

The Most Dangerous Game of Grab-Ass

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

That-Dude — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:53:11 EST

- Voted for Mike Vick in ESPN's Who's Now.

That-Dude

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Rusty Cajun Ron — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:51:56 EST

- Ancient Relative, a roman judge, thought this Judean Messiah thing would be a fad.

Rusty Cajun Ron

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

econdave — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:51:29 EST

Krakatoa is actually west of Java. (I know that's the title of the movie.)

/Alex Trebek

econdave

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

That-Dude — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:45:18 EST

@El-Hadji Diouf: +88!

That-Dude

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Chareth Cutestory, Maritime Lawyer — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:31:57 EST

- Preordered his copy of Chinese Democracy

Chareth Cutestory, Maritime Lawyer

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

thetaxman — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:27:51 EST

@Chief Wahoo you were saying...

thetaxman

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

JoeyPorterAle — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:27:19 EST

I'm glad the story clarified his rooting interest in The Big Game:

He went into Sunday night's big game hoping for another Patriots Super Bowl victory...

JoeyPorterAle

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Crookednose — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:23:49 EST

at least he didn't get "19-0." the Flying Elvii is at least, um, reusable.

Crookednose

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Seabass — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:23:41 EST

- Prefers his mini-disc player to an iPod

Seabass

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:14:55 EST

*Once outdrank Colin Ferrell in a whiskey-drinking contest

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Harriet Tubman Underground Railroad Disaster — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:13:38 EST

Played SunCity.

The Harriet Tubman Underground Railroad Disaster

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Eddie Griffin's Privates — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:12:53 EST

*Has the entire Fatheads catalog plastering the walls of his trailer.

Eddie Griffin's Privates

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Im a people person. Who drinks. — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:12:44 EST

- Moved to Hollywood, blew 4 high powered movie execs, got producers credit for Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows

Im a people person. Who drinks.

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Eddie Griffin's Privates — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:11:31 EST

"After the game ended I started (partying) ... I woke up drunk. It was a good thing I had my helmet on," said Thompson with a laugh.
This guy might want to be a little more careful with his remaining brain cells...

Eddie Griffin's Privates

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Tuffy — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:11:20 EST

● Owns a copy of Chris Gaines' birth certificate bought at a flea market in Trumbull, CT.

Tuffy

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Jews For Purple Jesus — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:10:47 EST

* Loves his new ESPN Mobile phone

Jews For Purple Jesus

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

stealofthedraft — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:10:44 EST

● Thought picking Bowie over Jordan was the right call.
● Regarded Herschel Walker trade a stroke of genius
● Joined the Duke brothers in stockpiling frozen concentrated orange juice futures.

stealofthedraft

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

racistmascot_inc — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:09:22 EST

- Bought N-Gages for all of his children's Christmas presents

racistmascot_inc

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Signal to Noise — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:07:04 EST

* Was a big buyer following development of Olestra.

Signal to Noise

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Chompman — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:06:54 EST

Was an angel investor for the power plant in Chernobyl.

The Chompman

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

twoeightnine — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:04:16 EST

Anyone want to go in on a copy and save some money?
[pictopia.com]

twoeightnine

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

ASox — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:03:52 EST

* Has an extensive collection of Underoos.

ASox

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Jefferson Short Bus — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:03:49 EST

Converted his life savings to flooz.

Jefferson Short Bus

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

TheStarterWife — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:02:38 EST

* Is not related to SuperMike2.
* Is related to SuperMike4

TheStarterWife

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

strangeffect — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:01:23 EST

Douche.

strangeffect

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

blackheartededitor — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:01:14 EST

@Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor: Oh man, you beat me. By a lot.

blackheartededitor

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:00:52 EST

@TheStarterWife: Metschick is sooo gonna kick your ass for that.

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

blackheartededitor — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:00:36 EST

* wagered entire Christmas bonus check on Washingon Generals

blackheartededitor

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Signal to Noise — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:00:16 EST

@The Most Dangerous Game of Grab-Ass: coincidentally, he was a big Giuliani supporter.

Signal to Noise

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Ghost of Tom Gordon — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:00:16 EST

- Regretting that he bet against Rocky in Rocky III.

The Ghost of Tom Gordon

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

BigTenObsession — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:00:15 EST

@kataroo_kangaroo:

Ah crap, that was my second guess. And that is one brave dude - by the time they are all said and done, he is going to have full sleeves.

BigTenObsession

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

She Blinded Me With Violence — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 16:00:10 EST

• Enjoys his Bobby McFerrin tape collection.

She Blinded Me With Violence

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:59:05 EST

@BigTenObsession: wrong. why you should never get a tattoo of someone's name, mostly. similar to this. my favorite story i shared: a friend of a friend had his gf jennifer's name tattooed on his arm. When they broke up, he had "Is a Bitch." added underneath. A month later they got back together. He simply added "But I Still Love Her." I've seen it. It looks like this:

Jennifer
Is a Bitch...
But I Still Love Her.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

BigTenObsession — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:58:24 EST

@The Most Dangerous Game of Grab-Ass:

+9/11

BigTenObsession

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Bluenatic — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:58:20 EST

More photos of this assclown in the slideshow to the right of this article: [www.wmur.com]

Bluenatic

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Katni — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:57:13 EST

@kataroo_kangaroo: Good point. I opted not to investigate that closely. Besides, I'm guessing that hair follicles don't take kindly to being jabbed with a needle 86523458 times.

Katni

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Most Dangerous Game of Grab-Ass — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:56:54 EST

• Ignored warnings as early as June from the National Security Agency's Echelon electronic spy network that Middle Eastern terrorists were planning to hijack commercial aircraft to use as weapons to attack important symbols of American and Israeli culture.

• Changed name to David Beckham

The Most Dangerous Game of Grab-Ass

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Jews For Purple Jesus — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:56:48 EST

* Makes decisions with his Jump To Conclusions Mat

Jews For Purple Jesus

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Signal to Noise — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:56:41 EST

@TheStarterWife: ya gotta bereave.

Signal to Noise

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

JoeyPorterAle — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:56:07 EST

He was debacled.

JoeyPorterAle

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:55:59 EST

*Thinks Ryan Leaf will be a Hall of Famer.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Trenton Makes The World Takes — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:55:51 EST

-Supported Howard Dean for President in 2004.

Trenton Makes The World Takes

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:55:49 EST

Bet $100k on the Washington Generals because they were due.

Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Creepmouse — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:55:34 EST

"Brady was playing with his old lady all week," said Thompson as he slumped in a chair and recalled the game.

. . . Meanwhile, I'm never getting laid again. Ever.

Creepmouse

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Babcocksure — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:55:34 EST

@Katni: I don't think so. Look at the hairline

Babcocksure

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

David Hume — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:55:11 EST

* Opened the first 5 Yugo dealerships in Natick.

David Hume

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Ray — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:55:02 EST

Befriended a black man.

Ray

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

BigTenObsession — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:54:59 EST

@kataroo_kangaroo:

I am assuming most of their conversation revolves around the pelivc/breastal regions and the tramp stamp?

BigTenObsession

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Phony Gwynn — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:54:33 EST

* Learned how to set the VCR to record the entire season of "Cop Rock."

Phony Gwynn

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

ClueHeywood — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:53:53 EST

-Has 10,000 Gregg Jefferies "Rated Rookie" cards

ClueHeywood

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Lady Andrea — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:53:46 EST

@TheStarterWife: snerk.

Lady Andrea

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:53:14 EST

@Stev D: He accesses the internet using his Prodigy internet account.

Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:53:10 EST

*Insulated his entire house with asbestos

UpstateUnderdog

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:52:49 EST

@Katni: i believe that would require him having a full head of hair. his hair line does not show that potential

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:52:03 EST

● Is a racist

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

TheStarterWife — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:51:51 EST

* In honor of his Mets, has a tattoo of a bat resting on his shoulder.

TheStarterWife

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Katni — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:51:35 EST

Or he could always, you know, grow his hair out.

Katni

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

cromartie — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:51:31 EST

*Majority shareholder in ValueAmerica.

*Thinks Daewoo is the car company of the future.

*Sets extra place at dinner table in anticipation of Jesus' arrival.

cromartie

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:51:17 EST

@The Legend of Vincent Tremblay: Actually, it was Manimal.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Matt_T — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:51:12 EST

-fridge stocked with Coke II

Matt_T

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:51:12 EST

the girls club (jezebel) is having a discussion on poorly thought out tattoos as well. why do these stories never get old?!

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Brazil Thrill — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:50:54 EST

@supermike4ever: To be fair to Peyton, he thought it was going to help Jack McCoy win a few more cases.

Brazil Thrill

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Mr_Horse — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:50:45 EST

● Gets wet-butt twice a week

Mr_Horse

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:50:44 EST

@BigTenObsession: Ah, I see what ya did there. Well-played. My bad for swinging and missing.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:50:40 EST

@Trenton Makes The World Takes: HEY!

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Stev D — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:50:31 EST

Netscape Navigator is his default browser

Stev D

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

shea_guevara — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:50:24 EST

@BigTenObsession: If it's wrong, I don't wanna be right.

shea_guevara

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:50:05 EST

- Has room full of Alexandre Daigle memorabilia
- Started letter-writing campaign to bring back "Mann & Machine"

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

shea_guevara — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:49:52 EST

@kataroo_kangaroo: I love how he is now lamenting the fact that he can't get a Lombardi trophy tattooed on his head. Like that's a bad thing.

shea_guevara

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Trenton Makes The World Takes — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:49:48 EST

-Owns a TurboGrafx-16 with Bonk's Adventure.

Trenton Makes The World Takes

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:49:29 EST

@the intrepid spaceman spiff:
+10 from a fellow funny book geek.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

BigTenObsession — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:49:26 EST

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry:

The Mets finished behind the Nats in 1969?

BigTenObsession

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Matt Sussman — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:49:09 EST

• Set his Internet homepaege to Magellan.com

Matt Sussman

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Dead Wrestlers Society — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:49:09 EST

@Signal to Noise: yeah, that was kind of the joke.

Dead Wrestlers Society

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:49:05 EST

This guy owns several pairs of Bad Idea jeans.

UpstateUnderdog

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

BigTenObsession — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:48:52 EST

@shea_guevara:

Is it wrong that pictures like that give me an erection?

BigTenObsession

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Civil Negligence — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:48:36 EST

@Dead Wrestlers Society: He's a Pat's fan. Could it really get any worse?

Civil Negligence

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Gizmo from Pismo — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:48:28 EST

Unless the entire O-line also banged Gisele over the week, I don't see her being the problem.

The Gizmo from Pismo

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:48:21 EST

@BigTenObsession: To see the Mets finish behind the Nats? How would that be worth it?

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Signal to Noise — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:48:10 EST

@Dead Wrestlers Society:

That would require a brain being there in the first place, right?

Signal to Noise

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

shea_guevara — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:48:03 EST

@BigTenObsession: Yeah, those tickets are worthless, huh?

shea_guevara

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:47:56 EST

at least he didnt' have 19-0 tattooed as well...

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

1976 Oakland Raiders — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:47:54 EST

Those Beanie Babies are gonna pay for a new house some day!

Seriously though, it's a damn shame that C.W.G.D. magazine went under. I thought the layout was sublime.

1976 Oakland Raiders

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

BigTenObsession — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:47:26 EST

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry:

Hey, if he pays for season tickets for the next 9 years, it will all be worth it!

BigTenObsession

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Brazil Thrill — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:46:58 EST

Yeah, blame the foreigner, chowdah boy. Maybe next time somebody brings a needle to your skull they can inject some gray matter in there.

Brazil Thrill

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

stealofthedraft — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:46:40 EST

I don't think having a Jamba Juice tattooed on your head is a very good idea either.

stealofthedraft

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Paul Zuvella — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:46:36 EST

The Pats tattoo is even worse than the "Dan O'Brien - World's Greatest Athlete" tattoo he has on his chest.

Paul Zuvella

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Chief Wahoo — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:46:34 EST

You just know this guy gets his tax advice from Wesley Snipes.

Chief Wahoo

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Dead Wrestlers Society — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:46:25 EST

I would recommend laser removal surgery, but that might cause brain damage.

Dead Wrestlers Society

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

the earl of weaver — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:46:20 EST

- thought the "one more day" spider-man arc was brilliant

the earl of weaver

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Katni — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:46:17 EST

Kevin Hart, those Irish retards, and this guy? I smell a Deadspin Dumbass Day a-brewin'!

Katni

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

supermike4ever — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:45:49 EST

actually, it was Peyton who gave the max $2,300 to Fred Thompson.

supermike4ever

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:45:46 EST

@BigTenObsession: Sadly, he bought the tickets for the 1960 season. Last week.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Ghost of Tom Gordon — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:45:31 EST

"Starland Vocal Band...they suck!"

The Ghost of Tom Gordon

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

A Pimp Named DaveR — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:45:28 EST

@God Save Dat Phan: Um... huh??

/shittes pantaloons

A Pimp Named DaveR

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

CubsDynasty — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:45:12 EST

women weaken legs

CubsDynasty

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Whitey Fisk — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:45:10 EST

Threw out his Blue Ray for HD DVD.

/nerd

Whitey Fisk

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

MerryLander — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:44:39 EST

Swears by the better picture quality he gets from Betamax tapes

MerryLander

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

BigTenObsession — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:44:36 EST

C'mon now, Rick - the Mets season tickets are a great value! Besides, no one from Boston would ever pay for those.

BigTenObsession

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Matt Sussman — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:44:33 EST

Favorite Virtual Boy game: Waterworld

Matt Sussman

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:44:30 EST

Odds he wears a tie to work: 10 bazillion to 1.

Odds he picks up cans to buy meth and lies on his unemployment form: Even.

Dope.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Gourmet Spud — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:44:18 EST

"Oh, why did I marry a woman I met outside a methadone clinic?"

- Don Mattingly

Gourmet Spud

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:44:17 EST

Coincidentally, he just got a tattoo of Gisele on his hand so he could play with Brady's lady too.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

The Harriet Tubman Underground Railroad Disaster — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:44:14 EST

Has a crippled son named Gunnar.

The Harriet Tubman Underground Railroad Disaster

'Oh Why Didn't I Just Get A Jamba Juice Instead?'

ASox — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 15:44:13 EST

This definitely looks like a guy who would have "extensive real estate holdings on Krakatoa," an island with a volcano that "has erupted repeatedly, massively, and with disastrous consequences throughout recorded history."

ASox