<![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Rusty Hardin = Lionel Hutz

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> From Stephen A.:

"Rain and black ice normally wouldn't stop me, but especially not today."

Are those 2 guys in Stephen A. posse?

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Posted in the earlier thread accidentally. Just thought everyone should know that Screamin' A. is blogging the testimony:
[stephenablog.typepad.com]
Yeah, it's about as insightful as you'd guess.

SantaBarbaraWahoo

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> I'm not watching this; is anyone dead yet?

King of Pants

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Clemens is going to get audited by the IRS for sure.

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Clemens: "If any kids out there want steroids, I will give them to you."

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Rep. Angelou has the floor.

"Witness resting; tired of the testimony
The laughter of proud Nubian princesses ringing in my soul
Dark falls the dusk of hero's grace
Why did you inject B-12?"

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Ff Christopher Shays was on mute, it would look like he's spittin' rhymes

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Stark tearing it up:

"Fortunately, Rep. Darrell Issa jumped in to defend both Clemens' mother and B-12 -- and not a moment too soon. Issa said his own mother had taken B-12 shots, and that it couldn't hurt you and might help you.

If that's the case, it's surprising no one has ever injected chicken soup on the advice of their mother."

Suggestion - Less Jayson Stark segments on crappy Mike And Mike and other assorted crappy ESPNRadio shows, and more Jayson Stark ESPNliveblogs.

mingusmonk

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Archie Bunker approves of Mr Waxman's slap-down.

"Shut up...YOU!"

budbrad

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> HA! Beat you to it Virginia Foxx!

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @thefuseproject: Hearsay is evidence. Lack of evidence = "we totally made it up based on nothing."

There is nothing intrinsicly false about hearsay; the vast majoritiy of criminals are in jail because of hearsay testimony. The issue is whether the hearsay has sufficient indicia of truth to overcome the general prohibition of hearsay testimony that arises from the constitutional right of a criminal defendent to confront his/her accusers.

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Clemens just said "these pretzels are makin' me thirsty"

That's his tell, that's definitely his tell.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> No, Mr. Scheeler, you did not have "evidence," you had "hearsay," from a single source with a track record of lying to law enforcement!

And I don't even like Clemens!

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver,...: And Virginia Foxx was loving every second of it.

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: I remember back when Ted Turner forbid the use of the word "foreign" in favor of the word "international" on TBS. The best part was when the wrestling announcers had to explain that Ric Flair had just hit Dusty Rhodes with an "International object".

good times.

Da_Mang

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Clemens is enjoying stroking himself pubically in the court of law. And he didn't even answer the question.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Aaaaaaand.... the inevitable Dan Duquette comment. Thank you for establishing motive to take drugs, Roger....

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @William: I think the word you're looking for is...drum roll..."horny."

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Subliminal chair shot to Barry Bonds big head.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> An old woman asking Roger Clemens about "stamina"- shudder.

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Same size? SAME SIZE? Is she blind, stupid, or just plain dumb?

Buzz's Monkey Butler

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Grandma, has a photo display!!!

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Virginia Foxx!!!!!!!

poutineandgravy

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: I spent a week in Roanoke once about 20 years ago...a strip club would have helped. And Rep. Foxx would have only been in her, 60s?

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Debbie Clemens is such a milf

Natzzzzzz

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Yostal: AGREED!

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Get off my lawn!!!!

/Members of US Congress

Natzzzzzz

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @buttons: I'd have trouble staying awake and you're doing it while doped up on cold medicine- my hat is off to you.

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Programming note: Rep. Virginia Foxx will be appearing at the Roanoke Spearmint Rhino from March 3rd-15th.

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @thefuseproject: That was day one. Today is just a dull hum.

The massive amounts of cold medicine help.

buttons

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Glossina Glossinidae: Still one of the single most underrated moments in SNL history. "Next time you come, you better bring Kryptonite."

Yostal

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Glossina Glossinidae:
Rep. Norton: "All I can say, Mr. Clinton, is that I'm sure you're going to heaven."

Bill Clinton: "Well, I think God has the final say on that.... but I'm sure you'll be going to heaven in 20 minutes back in the coat room, if you're so inclined, beautiful..."

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Rock You Like An Iracane: Yeah. Lookout bloggers. There's a real journalist in the mix, rockin' with credibility and I'm not talking about Stephen A Smith.

mingusmonk

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @buttons: I don't even know how to respond to that. No, wait, I do! My usual response when in similar situations was to scream in my head, "THIS ALL COULD HAVE BEEN PUT IN AN EMAIL YOU SELF-CENTERED, TIME-WASTING SONOFABITCH!" But I digress...

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> It is what it is. Depending on what It is, or what it Was, or it was what it was is now is, we are still getting nowhere.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> They just made a "definition of "is" is" joke which got me thinking.

Bill Clinton would have had Roger Clemens out of this mess in about 15 minutes.

While he couldn't help Hillary, Bill knows how to handle Congress' bullshit hearings and investigations and impeachments.

"I. AM. BULLETPROOF."
-Bill Clinton

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @thefuseproject: I'm in day 2 of all-day meetings. Christ.

buttons

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Mannys Acta: I was thinking earlier that one of the questioners was "giving himself a handjob" while speaking to Clemens. But then I thought, isn't that just masturbation?

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: I will not be shocked at all to hear one of the reps say, "I see here, Mr. Clemens, that you are a 'base...ball' player. Is this anything like cricket?"

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> I swear some of these congressmen are getting off on interrogating Roger Clemens.

Natzzzzzz

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> UnderArmourAll?????

"WE MUST PROTECT THIS.... CAR'S VINYL UPHOLSTERY AND SIDEWALLS!!!!"

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> If anyone's not reading Jayson Stark's (for once, non-Insider) blog, he's kicking ass and may actually be taking names.

Rock You Like An Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver,...: Rusty Hardin has knocked out Rep. Darrell Issa with a foreign object! It was a foreign object! This is despicable... Where was the referee?

/JimRossed

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "Intrusive"? Somebody needs to get Sammy Sosa's translator to help Roger.

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Candygram: Clemens is getting slaughtered.

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> OH SHIT!

PHD stands for Piling it Highly Deeper! Like a piledriver out of nowhere!

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Rep. Issa with a Ph.D joke older than time itself.

(He'll be here all week, tip your pages...)

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> oh, and BTW... I'm vegan and even I get enough b-12 without having to take a supplement

1 Speed Bike

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> a guy from texas doesn't know what a vegan is? You gotta be kidding me

1 Speed Bike

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @thefuseproject: Thanks. Gotta run back in now.

(This was only a quick break.)

Scout

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Congressman: "Why did you take b-12"

Clemens: "My mom told me to take it."

lol.

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Candygram: They are BOTH taking it up the...anyway. My "logic" is that if they are both getting pounded, that means that Roger is getting it worse.

ps: There's no reason for ANY meeting to last 4 hours- my sympathies.

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @ReeferMadness: Did I black out for a sec, did somebody ask him about that? It's like he has a checklist in front of him and he's just fitting stuff in regardless of the question!

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Just got out of a 4 hour meeting.

Please tell me Clemens is getting slaughtered....

Scout

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> USA,USA!!

ReeferMadness

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: He sounds like he took a public speaking course at the Derek Zoolander Institute for Texans Who Don't Speak Good.

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "What all he did tell"

Yep, Roger is a role model for children..... children who don't want to speak good or grammar use well.

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> I didn't realize there was a liveblog until now...sigh.

So, a little help in describing these hearings-

incredibly depressing + painfully awkward = ??

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Not much to report. A lot of media and Capitol police. Two nuts wearing Yankees Clemens jerseys. No sign of Rog or Pumpkinhead, er, Rusty.

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Marriage Counselor: So Mrs. Clemens, you are having trust issues with your husband. How did it all get started.

Mrs. Clemens- I think it started when Roger approached be about the benefits of HGH...ah, this is confidential right? OK, and Mrs Petite mentioned how her husband injected his, uh, you know, to increase his recovery and build stamina. Roger promised me he would be able to perform longer and break lots of records. I thought he was talking about intimate matters and now he was only concerned about his self image as a baseball Titan.

Mr Clemens - No, you misheard and misremembered the facts. I did not know HGH could do that, why would we inject you and not me?

Marriage Counselor: Roger I see you have a penchant for distorting the facts.

cdrbarney

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @redsoxchick:

Then why are you undressing me with your eyes, Congresswoman?

poutineandgravy

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> If the nanny doesn't fit, you must acquit!

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @2ndBase: She's on "The Colbert Report" an awful lot. She IS a bit "odd".

redsoxchick

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> From Stark's live blog:

"Somebody is trying to break my spirit in this room. And they're not going to break my spirit. ... You can tell your boys I did it the right way, and I busted my butt to do it."

He clearly busted his butt to do it. The evidence is all over his designer pants.

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @S.O.L.:
You watching the TSN feed? Elijah Cummings even scares the hell out of me on replay...

poutineandgravy

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @S.O.L.: Canada -- that's really close to Houston, right?

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Juggernaut: +1 million internets.

King of Pants

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: My GAWD! Henry Waxman is stomping a mudhole in Clemens! And walking it dry!!!

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @buttons: Canadians like me are watching and loving.

S.O.L.

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "Mr Clemens, (I think you are a shameless, complete and utter liar, but) I'm sure you are going to heaven (anyway)."

budbrad

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @redsoxchick: Oh, yeah, Im sure it was. It just seemed a little odd.

2ndBase

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: HA! This should really be a hair vs. hair hearing.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @2ndBase: I didn't think it was that cryptic. He talked about thinking the best of people and giving them chances in reference to why he kept a dirtbag like McNamee around...so I assumed her "heaven" comment was heavily dripping with sarcasm.

redsoxchick

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> If a guy's close to you, you can't slight 'im. You can't slight that guy. A real grievance can be resolved; differences can be resolved. But an imaginary hurt, a slight - that motherfucker gonna hate you 'til the day he dies... _ Hoffa

Juggernaut

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Roger's going to cold-cock MacNamee then pound some brews. (WHAT?) I said he's gonna pound some brews. (WHAT?) Some Budweiser. (WHAT?) American beer. (WHAT?) For an American hero. (WHAT?)

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @MeSoHornsby: Clemends: "I didn't eat 'em, I swears. You've misremembered my dismembering of tha guy."

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> I didn't think there was any way I would be wishing I could watch this, but you bastards and your Jim Ross quotes sucked me in.

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> I have a feeling Clemens will stroll back into the room after the recess with pieces of McNamee's corpse hanging out of his mouth.

MeSoHornsby

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Beer-Fart: I don't know what Mo's music is, but I guarantee that you can strip to it.

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @The Sports Hernia: She tapes hers down so it won't show. But it's bigger than Debbie's.

@Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®: OH MY GAWD! HE BROKE MACNAMEE IN HALF!!

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver,...: The only question that remains is, when will Rusty Hardin break out the Giant Gonzalez 'painted muscle' suit?

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @The Sports Hernia: When we come back from the break, McNamee will probably be broken in half through the Spanish Announce Table.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Beer-Fart: Serena Williams objects.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @racistmascot_inc: +1 cubed. You just got the gold medal in commenting.

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Roger Clemens is too trusting and pure a human being.

Just yesterday he gave Prince Nfumi half of his 2007 salary and he is starting to doubt whether he really used it to build a hospital in Uganda.

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> I would really, really like some explanation of the "I'm sure you're going to Heaven," remark.

2ndBase

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> So, if Debbie Clemens used HGH does that mean she has a penis? And if so, doesn't that make the Rocket gay?

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @ArkansasFred: Gene Rayburn?

"I know Roger Clemens used HGH because his ass has *blank* marks on it."

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Can't wait for Clemens and McNamee to rip off their suits to reveal N.W.O. shirts during the break.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Barry Bonds is going to heaven. Because God is black. And hates Babe Ruth.

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Christ Sabo: That and the cratered dollar.

elijah_dukes_mayonnaise

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Walking my ass over to Rayburn. Be back with a full report hopefully.

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Why doesn't this ESPN panel include John Kruk?

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Don't let MacNamee and Clemens disappear together during the break, Clemens might be able to break Waxman in half when they get back.

TheLou-Do

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> OH SHIT! How about that for a cliffhanger before the commercial break.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Buster Olney and Steve Phillips. Goody.

Mr. Marinovich

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Schluby: That will happen when Rusty produces McNamee's brother from Ireland.

It was between the brothers

Da_Mang

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Im sure you're going to Heaven? What the hell does that mean?

2ndBase

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "Mr. Clemens, all I have to say to you is that I assume you're going to heaven."

WHAT THE FUCK???

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "Quite often it happens in my life. Just yesterday some guys told me that they are my neighbors and that they use HGH too."

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> When he told me he was a Doctor, I mean shit, he was employed by MLB. Am I supposed to scrutinize the academic qualifications of an MLB employee?

/shits pants

Mr. Marinovich

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Still waiting for McNamee to pull a "Frankie Five Angels" and say...

"Look the FBI guys promised me a deal. So I made up a lot of stuff about Roger Clemens 'cause that's what they wanted - but it was all lies - uh - everything. And I kept saying - Roger Clemens did this and Roger Clemens did that - .uh - so I said yea sure, why not."

Evgeni Merkin

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: BTW, isn't Mo Vaughn's music the same as The Godfather's?

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Clemens in response to an open-ended question: why "that's correct" of course.

Mr. Marinovich

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470:

Is Mo being indicted for Grand Theft for stealing the 95 AL MVP Award?

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: +1 squared. Laughing out loud again...only harder this time. Awesome.

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @thetaxman:
+1, bravo!

tater

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "Mr. Clemens, I operate on three principles: the Lord loves a working man, never trust whitey and see a doctor and get it fixed."

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Da_Mang: "OH MY GOD -- THAT'S MO VAUGHN'S MUSIC!!!! MO VAUGHN IS HERE!!!!"

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Fran Drescher doesn't dime dawg.

stash3630

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> I hope the prison has a good therapist to help Clemens get over all this hurt he's feeling over today's testimony.

budbrad

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver,...: Since we're using Jim Ross catch phrases, Clemens is getting beat like a government mule.

Da_Mang

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Trying to buy him off with tickets to the Boss...tsk, tsk, tsk.

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "Don't drag me into this, dammit"

-- Bruce Springsteen

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> And here's the completely powerless Eleanor Holmes Norton.

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Awesome, Eleanor Holmes Norton time.

TheLou-Do

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> So what exactly are we learning here? That Clemens is a steroid-using douchebag and McNamee is a creepy little weasel?

I've known about the former for the last six years or so, and I've known about the latter since McNamee produced the old syringes and gauze.

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: Make that "threat of a congressional subpoena".

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @The Sports Hernia: +1

Literally laughing out loud.

Rusty!

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Some folk'll never punch a senator
But then again, some folk'll...
Like Rusty
The yellow-toothed yokel.
Most folk'll never lose their shit
And then again, some folk'll...
Like Rusty
The yellow-toothed yokel.

thetaxman

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "I was doin' y'all a favor..."

Because responding to congressional subpoenas is a "favor".

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "I was doing you guys a favor."

Clemens, you are a dumb, dumb son of a bitch.

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Notice how folksy Clemen's speech becomes when he is pressed on an issue?

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> This is getting uncomfy.

Mr. Marinovich

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> WOW WOW WOW.

this is amazing.

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Signal to Noise: Rusty clearly had too much Beefarino.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> All that money and he can't hire a competent attorney.

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> This is turning into a slobberknocker.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Lawyer in the blue tie is going to jump over that desk and punch the chairman.

(With all due respect of course)

TheLou-Do

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Rusty Hardin IN THA HOUSE!

Too bad he's a toupee-wearing midget.

Buzz's Monkey Butler

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Rusty's gettin' frisky!!!!!!!

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "Mr. Chairman, what does this nanny have to do with my incredible, red white & blue work ethic? Or my innocent sister-in-law?"

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Rusty Hardin is getting up and challenging Waxman the Ugly.

Not a smart move...

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> CLEMENS LAWYER IS LOSING IT!!!

HOLY SHIT!!!

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Clemens, evidence-tampering douchebag extraordinaire.

Buzz's Monkey Butler

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> The nanny is going to turn up dead with a baseball stuffed in her ovaries.

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> The Nanny sells out CLEMENS!

OUCH! Done in by the Nanny!

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "The nanny has cheesed you Mr. Clemens."

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Lacy Underall would throw out some tougher questions than Lacy Clay.

MeSoHornsby

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> It always comes back to the nannies, you know?

Buzz's Monkey Butler

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @The Pretenders: It was fellatio.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Lacy Clay, your lips are now permanently attached to Roger's ass.

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Impeach Lacy Clay!

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Did that guy really ask what uniform Clemens is going to wear to the HOF? Jesus.
OK, off to mi espanol exam. Hasta luego

Christ Sabo

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "What uniform will you wear into the Hall of Fame?" Unbelievable.

2ndBase

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Oh Snap. Was that a compliment or a jab?

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "You have 7."

"Yes, I have 7."

I bet that's how Roger makes Debbie talk dirty to him. "Oh God, tell me how many Cy Youngs I have baby."

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Clemens: A Life of Hard Work, Personal Anguish, Innocent Sister-in-Law and Athletic Brother. Expect the book tour this Summer.

Lacy Clay -100 for the idiotic H.O.F. question. Jackass.

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "I only have 7 Cy Youngs"

/attorney holds up sign saying "He was robbed"

budbrad

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> So transferring to a new college after getting busted for smoking weed is one of the principles by which Roger lives? Roger that.

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> This is totally bogus.

2ndBase

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "you can't break my spirit... I'm gonna continue to go out and do the things I love and do... like HGH."

1 Speed Bike

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "I worked my butt off to do it."

--McNamee also worked your butt. Don't forget that point.

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: +1

Buzz's Monkey Butler

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: those Indiana congresscritters are competitive folk.

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Softball time!

Roger is upset about the talk of "pampered athletes". Because that FUCKING SERVANT was BEING PAID to carry his luggage, goddamnit!

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> What does any of his childhod have to do with anything? Come on.

2ndBase

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> So Mr. Clay wants to talk about the past.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "I can tell you about my upbringing. I was born a poor black child..."

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Signal to Noise: Dan Burton set the bar pretty high -- he was just going for the gold.

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Lacy Clay....+1

(even though his name is too close to Macy Gray for comfort)

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Rep. Sauder: Summary: It's about firebombing kids in Baltimore?

He must watch The Wire.

Glossina Glossinidae

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Souder needs his ba-ba.

Civil Negligence

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Souder just linked not talking about roids to a family in Bal-murr getting firebombed for snitching.

Hyperbole much?

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Hey Souder, stop f*cking snitching.

PrehistoricMartyball

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @PrehistoricMartyball: I just got really jealous that I wasn't at that party.

Buzz's Monkey Butler

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Who's the long-necked guy behind McNamee?

"I'm Brian MacNamee." "And I'm a Mac."

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Ridiculous hyperbole alert!!!

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Souder wants a MLB franchise in Indiana realllly bad.

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Souder's hard on for the War on Drugs would go down if he'd just smoke a fucking joint or do some bumps.

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "Mr. MacNamee, I've done a lot of drugs as part of the narcotics commission..."

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @TheStarterWife: If you stay undressed, you might gain the advantage in that meeting! I'm just saying...

Chamomiles Davis

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Souder has women's hands.

In a jar in his basement.

/farts

Shanknuts

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Mark Souder, the Frank Beamer of the House (with that extra neck skin flap.)

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Alright, time to bag on the next guy...

What's with the neck, Souder? Are you collecting chins as a hobby?

Shanknuts

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> WTF? Another congressman from Indiana? They haven't had baseball there since the events portrayed in "A League of Their Own".

TheLou-Do

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "My time has expired."
That was soft.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @ArkansasFred: I wish. Those puppets were hilarious!

Stev D

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Yostal: He's also given me a job, so I'm going to call it even.

Storming the Floor

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Rep. Poindexter is disappointed and someone is going to pay!

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Signal to Noise: Wow, "I would say so."

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Civil Negligence: @Yostal: +1 to each of you.

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Clare:

Don't speak for all of us. My idol is Jesse Orosco.

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @TheStarterWife: I haven't met Mr. Shanoff in person yet, but I think we're the same age, so that would probably be the end result.

If I get wheelies before my son gets some, there will be hell to pay, though.

Storming the Floor

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Yostal: You're lucky. When I graduate and get a job at some shitty local newspaper I will be a noob and most likely will be fired because of Deadspin. This is a reality that I've already accepted even though I do no graduate until next year.

Christ Sabo

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Should I care about this as a huge baseball fan? Because as much as I'm trying, I just don't care.

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> The Hendricks Brothers are so getting fired...

"I was never told about an offer to meet Senator Mitchell by my baseball agent/attorney."

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> To be serious for a moment, I don't think Clemens is an (to quote Rep. Maloney) "important role model for young people." Lady, you're wrong. This is not Clemens' moment. Kids are not interested in Clemens. Kids don't care about pitchers. Kids are interested in A-Rod and Big Papi and Ryan Howard.

/dick joke

Clare

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "In a New York Minute, if you will." What a douche.

2ndBase

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @TheLou-Do: Go Mets!

Shanknuts

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Civil Negligence: Hey, someone in the U.S. government has to pay attention to New Orleans!

Yostal

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Tubesteak Terrorist: She's like a praying mantis. She verbally fellated him and now she's fucking ripping his head off.

TheLou-Do

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Congress needs to hold a hearing concerning Nibbles. Filthy little bastard!

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> "And we'd like to welcome back the Congresswoman from New York back from her recent trip to Mardi Gras."

Civil Negligence

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> I'd love it if Clemens told Maloney to iron his shirt.

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Christ Sabo: I will agree. I'm just lucky I had tenure before Will debuted.

Yostal

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> @Stev D: Did you write for D.C. Follies?

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> Maloney's neck must be killing her.

Civil Negligence

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]> What the fuck, Maloney? Stick to the script. She had those eyes like she wanted to blow Clemens.

Shanknuts

]]> <![CDATA[What You've Missed So Far In The Clemens Hearings]]>