<![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Congressman: What will you wear to your Hall of Fame induction, Rocket?

Clemens: Depends.

IchiroSuzukiSamurai

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> I'm just glad that after everything was said and done yesterday baseball was cleaned up once and for all. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Thundercracker

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Where does Roger go from here? who cares; I am hoping that Debra poses for Playboy.

Satyr Icon

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @shea_guevara: Change-up Grip would be a good band name.

thebristolkid

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> shoulda been you roger clemens...

oh wait...

gbaked

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> I think you're looking for "NYUK,NYUK" @Doyle McPoyle:

Juggernaut

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> This has been Rog's most entertaining on-camera presence since his cameo in Kingpin . . . I kept waiting for him to point to McNamee and scream "I oughta to stoot-slap your ass right now!"

Patchy Drizzle

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: That's Dennehy? I thought it was Frank Caliendo dressed as W.

Or possibly Newt Gingrich.

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Roger will be the Governor of Texas within the next 10 years.

Glenn Beck's Taint

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Sir Hotbod Handsomeface:

How much ya bench?

Grandjester

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Texas Gal: If the off-season isn't for gettting tubby, then why bother having it?

TheStarterWife

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> I'm sure The Rog can count on that pardon from President Obama. With the help of a recommendation from Attorney General Elijah Cummings.

gjdodger

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> I wonder if Andy Pettite will mis-remeber the Cy Young award to the temple the next time he's over at the Clemens' for dinner.

rachel_nichols_is_hot

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @shea_guevara: He's white, & gritty. & he has never rocked a page-boy haircut -- why, Charlie Hustle; why? -- at any point in his career. He'll still get in the Hall.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @OhGodYes: In that case, he needs to be loading up on the carbs even more. Maybe donuts, for that belly region- it worked for Homer Simpson.

Texy

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Just go away and die old man.

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> This stupid steriods trial in front of Congress (and some 8 million year old senator talking about Spygate) when the US has more important issues is exactly why I don't vote.

drewheyman

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Will, I'm glad you closed the plucky duck tag after you wrote the title

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @shea_guevara: And they can scatter his ashes over the pitcher's mound at Steinbrenner field.

sassydeerrun

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: also, I wonder if him and Brian Dennehy car-pooled or if they just met up at the hearing

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: it looks like jay mohr from the steroid roundtable skit on SNL

...and the circle is complete

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> So where does Clemens go from here?

I foresee a Pete Rose-esque future of Home Shopping Network appearances, since I'm sure his wife will take him to the cleaners in the inevitable divorce. It's gonna make the Strahan split up look like a damn tea party.

Then we'll all be treated to periodic back-tracking on his story. Like, "Okay, I bought HGH, but I never took it." Then a year later, "Okay, I bought it and took it, but it didn't help me." Then, "Okay, it did help me, but not that much." Each revelation perfectly timed to get his name back in the papers.

Then somehow he'll become a respected elder statesman, a la like Richard Nixon, hitting the talk show circuit and "writing" books on the State of Baseball.

He will be killed in a bar fight at the age of 67, shot by a guy arguing about the proper changeup grip.

shea_guevara

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @shea_guevara: Except fatter, and more asshole-y.

The White Boom Boom

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Not pictured- the scary looking IRS dude about to add another notch in his belt.

crazyjoedavola

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Yes YES the camera loves you, Roger! Now give me false sense of entitlement. Beautiful, baby! Muah!

Ray

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: Jah Mohr, the unfunniest reggae band ever.

shea_guevara

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: And how did Mark Wahlberg get a seat in front of him?

Carlton_Whitfield

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> He's clearly on steroids, he's at least two feet taller than everyone in that room!

doodlebug

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Stev D:

You been played, Cheese.

Gourmet Spud

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Just prior to this photo, Clemens quickly removed his wedding band saying, "I misremember ever being married to that HGH guzzling, strap-on wielding cougar."

Little Lebowski Urban Achievers

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Don't worry about ole' Roger. Roger is already a shoe-in for Heaven.

Schluby

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> YOU'RE STEWED, BUTTWAD.

thetaxman

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: *Jay

Although "Jah Mohr" would make a good band name.

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Ok Roger, if you didn't get any injections, why do you have an arm sticking out of your butt?

sassydeerrun

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Did some sort of bad haircut flash mob assemble there?

Stev D

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Why is Jah Mohr back there in the peanut gallery?

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Fiver: I don't see why Iron Man's opinion should make any difference.

What?

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Now that he's no longer with ESPN, Harold Reynolds gets the worse seats.

UkraineNotWeak

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> But Jayson Stark said that "Clemens spoke with passion and energy, and with what sounded like heartfelt conviction!"

Fiver

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> It's Rob Cordry plus 50 pounds.

Tubesteak Terrorist

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @OhGodYes: School marm behind Rocket Abcess disapproves of my punctuation.

OhGodYes

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> That old adage is true- baseball is politics for ugly people who can't make it in hollywood.

Stev D

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Roger says Magnum is gonna blow us all away.

Carlton_Whitfield

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Texas Gal: You need some extra weight above the belt to balance yourself out when you're balls are bigger than Derek Anderson's.

OhGodYes

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: Or the "I'm Fucking your wife and there is nothing you can do about it" grin.

HazelMaesLandingStrip

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Congressman: What do you think should happen to Andy Pettitte and Brian Macnamee?
Lawyer: Don't answer that Roger!!
Congressman: Well?
Clemens: Yes, they deserved to die AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!!
Congressman: is that from "a time to kill" ?
Clemens: Uh, I mis-remember

Ace Rothstein

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Doyle McPoyle: Oh, a wise guy eh? Reminds me to moida ya later. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

The Curse of Harold Ballard’s Bunker

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @OhGodYes: @sassydeerrun: No, he looks like he's searching for Henry Waxman.

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Weed Against Speed: He looks stout. The camera loves stout!

Carlton_Whitfield

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Illegal Immigrant: Kevin Hart has called a press conference to claime he is now dead.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @TheStarterWife: Schilling is slim and trim this year. Beckett's the one who reported to camp with a spare tire.

Texy

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Photographer to Roger:

"That's it, Rog. Come on, come on. Give it to me. Come on, work it. Work it. Yeah be a man, be a man. You are a lover boy!!"

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @OhGodYes: Great minds think alike.

sassydeerrun

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: I'd say its more the look my dog has after taking a huge dump on the neighbor's lawn.

EdFinnerty

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Check out Rusty, looking under the table for Roger's credibility.

sassydeerrun

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @A Pimp Named Daver4470: Naw, I'm thinking he'd fake his own death, then come back and claim it never happened.

Illegal Immigrant

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> He could just hope that the presidential pardon that Yahoo! Sports is speculating on comes to fruition...

[sports.yahoo.com]

Wasted Talent

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @OhGodYes: 'cause it sure as hell ain't any higher.

OhGodYes

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Is it just me, or does that picture make it look like Roger is taking a very satisfying whiz?

Either that, or he just got finished burying a body.

44 in a Row

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Is Hardin looking for Clemens' credibility down there?

OhGodYes

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> So where does Clemens go from here?

Well, he could commit suicide......

.

.

.

.

(just sayin')

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Is it just me, or does that picture make it look like Roger is taking a very satisfying whiz?

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Roger would make a sorry ninja.

sassydeerrun

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Sweet picture. After it was taken, did he slap his face a bunch of times and go "nyahhh"?

...Sorry, but the sound Curly from the Three Stooges makes is almost impossible to write down.

Doyle McPoyle

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @crazyjoedavola: To be fair, he asked her if she objected, but the cell phone connection cut out.

strong like bull smart like tractor

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Strap on? After all the HGH, I just assumed she sprouted the Real Deal.

Helmet Touch

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> They have him on a tapped cell phone saying "I killed Dog. He had much love for me, even then."

Stev D

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: I think she probably just kicked him in his now shrunken testicles over and over again. Throwing your wife under the bus? The man has no shame.

crazyjoedavola

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: ...speaking of ass bleeding. Yeow.

buttons

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Perhaps Clemens should have taken the path trod by McGwire and said, "I'm not here to talk about my past ass bleeding".

Beer-Fart

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> This is yet another reason why most baseball players shouldn't talk.

**Does not apply to John Rocker. Dude, talk all you want.

I Party With 33765-183

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Oh, Roger, the bleeding will just get so much worse when you're in prison.

MeSoHornsby

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Camp Tiger Claw: Has Schilling gotten so fat that he counts as more than one player now?

TheStarterWife

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Why won't Clemens just come clean and tell everyone that he took HGH in order to improve his bowling skills so he could challenge Munson and McCracken for the million dollar prize?

Thats What She Said

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> I bet his wife really gave it to him with the strap-on last night.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> McGwire has basically dropped off the face of the earth. Is it to much to hope for a sequel? Dont go away mad, just go away.

crazyjoedavola

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> I thought he was simply trying to bulk up so one day he would be able to hold Dave Stewart's jock. That's worth some polka dots on your pinstripes.

OhGodYes

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> @Sigerson: you forgot "and get off my lawn!".

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Another reason they shouldn't talk? Lots of them are Republicans.

Camp Tiger Claw

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> KARL CHILDERS IMITATION

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> I still don't think steroids or HGH actually increase performance. This is all hype about snake oil b.s.

Sigerson

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Reasons baseball players shouldn't talk:

1. Roger Clemens
2. Ryan Dempster
3. ...
4. Profit?




Dany Heatley Speedwagon

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> Blame it on the dog.

Dead Wrestlers Society

]]> <![CDATA[Roger Clemens, Talking Himself Further Down The Hole]]> "I thought it would be a good idea to dress exactly like the portrait in the back of the room. What do you think?"

shea_guevara

]]>