V-Day Plans Of The "Stars" - Deadspin Comments

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

André Roussimoff — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 01:25:48 EST

Arthur needs to step it up and get her a fuck lion.

André Roussimoff

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

LosOsosdeChicago — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:07:03 EST

Re-read Arthur Blanks' quote; I think he said he was making a cat for dinner. Did you hear that, PETA?

LosOsosdeChicago

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

strong like bull smart like tractor — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:32:49 EST

I would have thought she was more A-Rod's type than Rocker's.

strong like bull smart like tractor

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

diggity — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:16:05 EST

That dude from Creed really let himself go.

diggity

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Phony Gwynn — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:13:44 EST

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: That's not a porn name?

Phony Gwynn

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:11:00 EST

@Botswana Meat Commission FC:

He plans on handing his Valentine's Day plans off to Herschel Walker and getting out of the way.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:03:09 EST

BUCK BELUE

Former Georgia Bulldogs quarterback

Yes, a guy who played college football in the early 1980s is still considered a major sports personality here. Sigh.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Kid Canada — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:50:06 EST

JIM THOME IS EXCITED ABOUT ANY HOLIDAY THAT CENTERS AROUND THE VAJAYJAY

Kid Canada

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Kid Canada — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:49:55 EST

HEY GUYS JI

Kid Canada

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Dan-tastic — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:48:45 EST

@Lamppost:
I just saw Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter do stand-up in a synagogue. Good, heretical times.

Dan-tastic

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

roland_t_flakfizer — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:48:07 EST

I guess there weren't any dogs available (?)

roland_t_flakfizer

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

roland_t_flakfizer — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:47:37 EST

Damn Arthur Blank is buying his wife some pussy this Valentine's day. Kinky...

roland_t_flakfizer

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

EDogII — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:43:56 EST

Wow, Rocky Dennis got some work done? Cool.

EDogII

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

BloggyMcBlogBlog — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:43:50 EST

Since nobody has said it yet:
No, She-Hulk

BloggyMcBlogBlog

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

racistmascot_inc — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:42:44 EST

@Suss: +1

That's why he's the champ, folks.

racistmascot_inc

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

racistmascot_inc — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:42:19 EST

@kataroo_kangaroo:

Wow, I didn't even notice, but she does look like a muscular, worn-out, leathery version of Tila "Tequila" Nguyen.

racistmascot_inc

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Matt Sussman — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:41:30 EST

Everyone, quit making fun of Alicia Marie's breasts.

Matt Sussman

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Ray — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:39:43 EST

Alice Marie's breasts used to be mashed together into one superboob called Mangaea, but have drifted apart at a constant rate of one inch per year.

Ray

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Phony Gwynn — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:39:36 EST

Other highlights include Magic coach Stan Van Gundy taking his wife to a Van Halen concert

"You know, sometimes Eddie just does his own thing, instead of getting back, playing the bridge. Sometimes he just wants to do the solo from "Eruption" throughout the entire set, instead of getting down to basic chords."

Phony Gwynn

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

OchentaYcinco — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:38:18 EST

If those were any further apart one would be on her back.

OchentaYcinco

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:38:16 EST

@Doyle McPoyle: yes, but look who i would end up sleeping with. tila tequila's mother.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

lisa — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:38:15 EST

@UpstateUnderdog:
/Michael Jackson

lisa

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

racistmascot_inc — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:38:08 EST

@lisa:

We all know what Erin Andrews is doing for Valentine's day.

racistmascot_inc

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

AngryJoeMagrane — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:38:00 EST

"We think it's probably because we've been impersonating him so much on this book tour. "

So, if I go to the Border's in St. Peter's tonight, I am going to see the poor man's version of Frank Caliendo?

AngryJoeMagrane

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:37:13 EST

So both Arthur Blank and his wife will be getting a little pussy tonight.

Thank you. Remember to tip your waitress.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

jwaves2007 — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:36:40 EST

Hey John why the long face?

jwaves2007

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:35:36 EST

@Weed Against Speed: what's a bath without Bubbles ?

UpstateUnderdog

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

lisa — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:34:48 EST

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned that they didn't ask Atlantan Erin Andrews what she's doing.

lisa

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:34:47 EST

@kataroo_kangaroo: If you really want to have sex with the gal, why not consult John Rocker? He looks like a guy who could get you a good roofie.

Doyle McPoyle

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

DennyCrane — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:34:03 EST

My Valentine's Day will involve $240 worth of pudding.

DennyCrane

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:33:58 EST

@OhGodYes: Everybody wins.

Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:33:15 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: Later, he's going to take a bath with Bubbles.

Weed Against Speed

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Phony Gwynn — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:33:00 EST

@Rob Iracane: And that 7 train will be running on track ... well, you can see it in that picture up there ... yes, the train tracks running between that woman's breasts.

Phony Gwynn

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Fawn Liebowitz — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:33:00 EST

My guess is that one or both of them will be dining at the Y tonite

Fawn Liebowitz

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:32:31 EST

@kataroo_kangaroo: Ho.ly.fuck. I just learned out tix for the game tonight are center ice lower level. if liz were gay i would totally sleep with her in a not-so-platonic way tonight.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:32:01 EST

@thetaxman: and Taming that Shrew.

UpstateUnderdog

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Ray — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:31:38 EST

Will Leitch has given so much joy to the time-wasting, boss-ignoring, drinking-on-the-job American workforce through his juggernaut of a blog...

Um, thanks?

Ray

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:31:22 EST

What's Rocker doing with Paris Hilton's publicist?

That's right, I got celebrity gossip jokes. Wanna fight about it?

Doyle McPoyle

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

thetaxman — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:29:55 EST

@UpstateUnderdog: Pretty sure later on Alicia will be helping John straighten out his Longfellow.

thetaxman

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Matt Sussman — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:29:09 EST

Spud, please say fewer things that will make me sterile.

Matt Sussman

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:26:31 EST

@Weed Against Speed: yeah, But Oingo Boingo is playing at melon's. Its a dead mans party !

God, I love that movie.

UpstateUnderdog

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:25:21 EST

This story is full of holes.

Which is ironic, because Alicia Marie isn't.

Gourmet Spud

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

KittyLitterKing — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:25:04 EST

Is ANYONE going to St. Peter's tonight to hear the world's fastest book reading?

KittyLitterKing

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:25:00 EST

@Big Daddy Drew:

Chas: "I have got a really bad cramp."

Melon: "Probably menstrual"

Chas: "Screw you Melon"

UpstateUnderdog

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:24:47 EST

Remember this year on Valentines Day nothing says I love you like a diamond.

Diamonds... she'll pretty much have to.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:24:16 EST

@2ndBase: Did you text back "why don't you call her 'Mom' like I do?"

/runs away

A Pimp Named DaveR

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Chamomiles Davis — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:23:54 EST

Zip-up shirts = pure class

Chamomiles Davis

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

J. Henry Waugh — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:23:48 EST

Has the ability to do this been discussed:

J. Henry Waugh

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

HazelMaesLandingStrip — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:23:17 EST

I plan on giving my hooker an extra 20 dollars tonight, just to show her I really care.

HazelMaesLandingStrip

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:23:15 EST

@The White Boom Boom:

Hey man, whatever floats your boat...

Gourmet Spud

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

2ndBase — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:22:42 EST

My brother just sent me this text message: "The last time I celebrated Valentines Day, I baked a lasagna and got two bottles of Boones Farm Wine and banged Sarah on my couch."

2ndBase

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Matt Sussman — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:21:46 EST

This story is full of holes. Few jazz clubs serve Red Bull.

Matt Sussman

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Bunkie Perkins — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:21:27 EST

Does this guy own a normal shirt? How about a nice Oxford button down, John?

Bunkie Perkins

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:21:17 EST

As happens every February 14, Carmella DeCesare will receive a cold reminder that she is living a lie.

Gourmet Spud

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:21:14 EST

...I'm going to get drunk at a hockey game with my best girl friend, catcall single men, stumble back to her house, and have a snugglefest until we both pass out.

/keeping it classy for 22 years

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:20:51 EST

Alicia Marie and I will be at a spa for a couples' massage, going to a live jazz club and spending the night at a posh hotel - champagne, strawberries in the room - where a personal chef is going to come and prepare dinner. Piece of Cake in Buckhead is making a special Valentine's Day cake for after dinner.

There will also be ice cream.

Then, I will take Alicia Marie back to my luxurious condo, and I will freak her all night long. I will freak her like she has never been freaked before.

If she wishes, I will also freak her in the behind.

/Smooved

A Pimp Named DaveR

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Matt Sussman — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:20:36 EST

You could fit an unabridged dictionary between those suckers.

Their legs, I mean.

Matt Sussman

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Al Czerviks Ride — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:20:14 EST

@Doyle McPoyle: I just dropped $40 on flowers and for what?
*wife whispers in ear*
What thing? OH THAT THING!
Uh, never mind what i was saying...

Al Czerviks Ride

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:19:39 EST

Rocker seems to have abnormally skinny feet.

Carlton_Whitfield

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

The White Boom Boom — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:18:51 EST

@Gourmet Spud: I'd imagine watching that would be like watching Uncle Rico's videos. "If Bobby Cox woulda kept me in that game, we could have won the World Series."

The White Boom Boom

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Rob Iracane — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:18:15 EST

The cake will be in the shape of the 7 train. The jimmies represent the kids with purple hair.

Rob Iracane

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:17:38 EST

Well, it sure beats my plans of drinking alone and crying while masturbating. I hope I can find my copy of The Notebook to watch in the dark!

Doyle McPoyle

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:16:52 EST

@Big Daddy Drew: Uh, swim meet.

Weed Against Speed

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

theballadofrickeyfoggie — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:16:47 EST

John Rocker has had some unbelievable VD's, but this will be the best one yet.

theballadofrickeyfoggie

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

MDT — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:16:47 EST

SPEAK ENGLISH. It's the language of love!

MDT

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Al Czerviks Ride — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:16:31 EST

Arthur Blank may be giving his wife a cat, but Andrei Kirilenko's wife is giving him a cougar

Al Czerviks Ride

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Matt_T — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:16:30 EST

Ookie's brewed up a special batch of toilet wine for his prison bitch.

Matt_T

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

crazyjoedavola — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:16:19 EST

@OhGodYes: Kiana, OhGodYes! Bodyshaping on ESPN was like porn.

crazyjoedavola

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:16:15 EST

@The White Boom Boom:

Like...like watching his old baseball videos?

Gourmet Spud

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Ray — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:16:01 EST

Other highlights include Magic coach Stan Van Gundy taking his wife to a Van Halen concert

Not to mention the gorgeous sleeveless denim jacket he got her.

Ray

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

ArkansasFred — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:15:59 EST

This is awesome, because I was wondering just the other day how an insufferable loudmouth hillbilly would spend his Valentine's Day.

ArkansasFred

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Drew Magary — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:15:59 EST

I see Alicia will be attending Chas' frat party instead of the kegger over at Mellon's.

Drew Magary

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Carson — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:15:52 EST

@Al_Czerviks_Ride: Barry wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit.
Rocker's, I mean.

Carson

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Mmole — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:15:01 EST

"Couples' massage huh. Well I'm doing a single's massage thinking about Debbie Clemens' ass.

Mmole

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

crazyjoedavola — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:14:51 EST

@Weed Against Speed: I saw VH at the Garden. If Eddie takes off his shirt again, romance will be replaced by nausea. No one needs to see that. 60 yr old man booby.

crazyjoedavola

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

44 in a Row — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:14:33 EST

Urban Barbie looks normal, but Racist Ken looks retarded.

He's not a racist. He's got a black girlfriend!

44 in a Row

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

OhGodYes — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:14:27 EST

Alicia Marie vs. Kiana Tom. Who wins?

OhGodYes

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

The White Boom Boom — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:14:10 EST

Meh, I'd still take cleaning my fish tank, playing Madden '07, and masturbating over any activity with John Rocker.

The White Boom Boom

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Al Czerviks Ride — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:14:07 EST

@Carson: Barry Melrose approves.

Al Czerviks Ride

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:13:57 EST

So, Stan Van Gundy is going to let his wife get drilled by David Lee Roth tonight?

Talk about a romantic!

Weed Against Speed

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Matt_T — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:12:40 EST

-inject each other with HGH

Matt_T

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:12:39 EST

Are they going to a costume party as Tarzan and Jane or something?

Weed Against Speed

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Carson — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:12:34 EST

And he's keeping the mullet, dammit.

Carson

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:11:49 EST

The chick on the left is MUCH hotter than the dude on the right.

A Pimp Named DaveR

V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

Ray — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:11:34 EST

Urban Barbie looks normal, but Racist Ken looks retarded.

Ray