Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays - Deadspin Comments

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Forkball — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 21:12:08 EST

I can't wait for an exciting season of Deadspin marking out the word "Devil."

Forkball

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

bubbaprog — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:16:05 EST

Great preview, Cork, but you're wrong about BenZo's wife. She's the hottest of all the Rays wives, and has a voice that can soothe the most savage of beasts.

I've talked to her at a few Rays Wives events, and she's as cool as the other side of the pillow. And hot, hot, hot. Plz to be going to her myspace before alleging any woman could be an upgrade.

bubbaprog

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Afino — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 16:06:42 EST

@Texas Gal:
You're awesome.

+10.

Afino

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

JosephFinn — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:56:30 EST

@The Professor: Exactly; that's why we refer to teams like the East Rutherford Giants, the Landover Redskins and the Foxboro Patriots.

JosephFinn

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Tuffy — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:51:20 EST

@Kid Canada: Triunfel had a batting average-heavy offense with no power and almost no walks against young men with no second pitches. It's nice, but I'm not excited yet.

I'll grant Brignac's swing because I've barely seen it.

David Eckstein. heh.

Tuffy

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Al Czerviks Ride — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:47:21 EST

@beefshower: He was a cornerstone of that 43-119 team!

Al Czerviks Ride

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Randall Tex Cobb — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:41:43 EST

@The Professor:

My boss, at the time, was in his late fifties. His cultural references stopped around 1966.

Randall Tex Cobb

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

The Professor — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:31:52 EST

@Afino: Ahhhh...but Mets fans love to tell people how the Kazmir trade was a blessing in disguise. Because of that trade the team broke up the old front office and brought in Omar Minaya. And of course Minaya is the architect of the Mets 2007 World Series title.

The Professor

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

beefshower — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:29:27 EST

As a lifelong Tigers fan I was glad to see Pena finally put it all together last year and have a huge season b/c he always seemed like a good guy. That being said, after a few years of being tantalized by his potential and ultimately disappointed a part of me wouldnt be surprised to see him hitting .170 in mid-May and splitting at-bats w/ Kevin Witt.

beefshower

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Texy — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:28:51 EST

@Afino: For you.

Texy

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Afino — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:25:11 EST

@twoeightnine:

No way.

Kazmir's not Latin. And if I wasn't at work, I'd post the Scott Kazmir Tribute Youtube.

Fuck the Mets.

Afino

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

The Professor — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:24:11 EST

@Texas Gal: That's what makes him so great. He is all of the above!

The Professor

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

The Professor — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:23:17 EST

@JosephFinn: How many games have the Super Bowl champ Giants played in 'New York' in recent years?

The Professor

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Texy — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:22:57 EST

@PenskeMaterial: Wait a minute! I thought he was a GRINDER. Which is it?

Texy

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

JosephFinn — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:17:39 EST

I think you mean the St. Petersburg Rays. The Rays neither play underwater, nor do they play in Tampa.

JosephFinn

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Fat-Fat — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:17:34 EST

I like baseball.

Fat-Fat

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Steve Trachsel, Ace — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:16:09 EST

/threadjack

Chris Berman is on History Channel.

Hes following me.

Steve Trachsel, Ace

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

The Professor — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:12:16 EST

@soozycue: Never thought i would say this to a lady...but thanks for the sperm *hat tip*

The Professor

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

PeteJayhawk — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:10:11 EST

Great last name, Cork.

PeteJayhawk

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Kid Canada — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:10:05 EST

@Tuffy:

Hopefully, since the Blue Jays' shortstops are David Eckstein and John McDonald.

Triunfel hit .288/.333/.356 in high class A as an 18 year old. Brignac has a really awkward swing that I don't see being successful at the major league level.

Kid Canada

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

soozycue — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:05:58 EST

Yay sperm!

soozycue

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Weed Against Speed — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:04:32 EST

@The Professor: So, there's a good chance it would be a gummer, right?

Weed Against Speed

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

BigTenObsession — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:02:29 EST

@Randall Tex Cobb:

You drove the truck for Knish?

BigTenObsession

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

The Professor — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:00:46 EST

@Randall Tex Cobb: Ann Margret is like 80 years old. She'd probably beg for it now. Just sayin'

The Professor

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

FightTiger — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:59:34 EST

Baseball previews! Yesss! (Seriously) So ready for baseball season...

Oh, and I'm not gonna stop calling them the Devil Rays.

FightTiger

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:59:31 EST

@Randall Tex Cobb: Eh, I really don't have a dog in that fight. Now, the NLeast, that we can argue over. Hell, I'd love to see the Rays make the postseason just for shits and giggles. I doubt it'll happen, but I wouldn't kill myself if it did.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Death Blow — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:58:39 EST

Magic 8-Ball Says > SSW ?

Death Blow

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

cromartie — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:54:35 EST

That's about 1,325 more words than was necessary. Just skip past the intro, insert " They'll finish last again" and move on to a preview for an actual major league team.

cromartie

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Randall Tex Cobb — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:54:17 EST

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry:
To quote a former boss of mine, "And I'd like a blowjob from Ann Margret, but it's not going to happen."

Randall Tex Cobb

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:49:28 EST

Ni--?

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:47:04 EST

@Jerkwheat: It's the Rays we're talking about. It was a mercy redaction.

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:46:25 EST

Also, Cork Gaines now stars in Life Goes On.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:45:45 EST

@Randall Tex Cobb: Hey, I'd rather the O's win the East than anybody else. Sadly, Angelos isn't interested in your mortal concerns like wins or losses. I do wish Ed Williams was still around to buy the team back and let 'em at least be competitive like the old days under Earl Ballmer.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Tuffy — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:45:35 EST

@Kid Canada: Are AL teams allowed to pinch-hit for shortstops now?

Tuffy

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

The Professor — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:44:26 EST

@Spectacular Sam: I said I wasn't that drunk

The Professor

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Raskolnikov — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:43:25 EST

They're going to go on a Rockin' Stroll and hang out with My Drug Buddy?

You know McNamee, too?

Raskolnikov

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Randall Tex Cobb — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:42:53 EST

I'm glad fans of the Rays can at least find some enjoyment in Peter Angelos.

Randall Tex Cobb

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:41:40 EST

@Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver,...:
For the Rays, 3rd place in the ALeast would be grounds for massive rioting. A playoff bid for them this year would likely kill Big George and be akin to the Buzzsaw going 16-0.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:38:43 EST

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: 3rd eh? That's a big statement considering Boston & New York made the playoffs last year.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Kid Canada — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:38:27 EST

baseball's top shortstop prospect, Reid Brignac

Maybe a year ago, but he had a pretty mediocre 2007.

Elvis Andrus > Reid Brignac
Carlos Triunfel > Reid Brignac

Kid Canada

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

BigTenObsession — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:36:36 EST

@twoeightnine:

Nah, we're good with that Santana guy.

BigTenObsession

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

LingeringBursitis — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:36:18 EST

@Jerkwheat: No, that's James Frey territory

LingeringBursitis

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

PenskeMaterial — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:35:39 EST

Wow, a Lovett-Roberts reference? I must have stumbled on the "Evening at the Improv" preview.

@Frozented: C'mon, the Jays aren't douchebags. We have David Eckstein now! He's GRITTY!

PenskeMaterial

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:35:19 EST

@MitchKayak: Still alive, yes. Still able to pitch, not so much. But the Yanks will trade for him down the strech after Joba eats Staten Island.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Tuffy — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:35:13 EST

I think Cork Gaines has lovely taste in season previews.

(Hi Cork!)

Also, I think there's a decent chance Kazmir is resigned. How could you even get 50 cents on the dollar for him? Might as well keep him.

Tuffy

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:34:32 EST

I hear Barry Bonds is a free agent. Isn't Tampa Bay the place where old people go to die?

You know. Boggs, Canseco, Vaughn.

Coming Into The Game, ♪♪ ♪♪♪ #J23 - The Superstar Receiver, ofyourupperdeck TORONTOOOoo BJSss ®

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:34:08 EST

Cork Gaines? Is he Chris's long-lost brother?

Seriously, this is the year the Rays win 75 games and finish in 3rd. As long as Angelos owns the O's, the Rays have hope for not finishing last.

Now, where's the Braves preview?

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

twoeightnine — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:34:06 EST

I heard that the Mets might be interested in that Kazmir Kid.

twoeightnine

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

MitchKayak — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:33:11 EST

Percival is still alive?

I never got that memo.

MitchKayak

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Brazil Thrill — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:32:08 EST

I would like to eat some hay in the bay with a Tampa Bay Ray. Yes, I may.

Brazil Thrill

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Weed Against Speed — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:31:28 EST

@Raskolnikov: They're going to go on a Rockin' Stroll and hang out with My Drug Buddy?

Weed Against Speed

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

muggsybogues — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:29:59 EST

If Lyle Lovett can bang Julia Roberts, anything IS possible!

(jumps out window, attempting to fly, seriously injuring self)

muggsybogues

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Spectacular Sam — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:29:51 EST

Are you sure you're not drunk?

Spectacular Sam

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

The Teufel Shuffle — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:29:45 EST

Fuck you, Jim Duquette.

Thank you.

The Teufel Shuffle

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Raskolnikov — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:29:43 EST

Evan Dando already knows how this season will end.

Raskolnikov

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

UkraineNotWeak — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:29:32 EST

@Weed Against Speed:

Not Teak Doubledown?

UkraineNotWeak

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Frozented — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:28:48 EST

I root for the Rays only because everyone else in that division is a Douche bag.

Frozented

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Weed Against Speed — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:27:53 EST

Cork Gaines...now that's a name.

I'm going to change my name to Bamboo Losses.

Weed Against Speed

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

J-No — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:27:37 EST

@Barry Lutz: +1.

J-No

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Barry Lutz — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:27:00 EST

That write-up is like the Rays' batting order: lots of strikeouts.

Barry Lutz

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

UkraineNotWeak — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:26:37 EST

Where's the Steelers preview?

UkraineNotWeak

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:24:32 EST

Are you attempting to redact a man's entire life, Will?

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

Lady Andrea — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:24:24 EST

I like to mash snow. It gives me a tremendous sense of self-satisfaction.

Lady Andrea

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays

BigTenObsession — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:24:05 EST

So he's not a Tampa native and U. of Iowa graduate that is currently lost in NYC?

BigTenObsession