<![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> I thought the NHL had a rule against using female zamboni drivers who are ridin the cotton pony?

RachelRayIsTheDevil

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> If its time for "Aunt Flo" to make a visit, you just put it in the butt.

Kiss my grits

FredBirdRedBirdwillhavehisrevengeonDonDenkinger

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> looks like it just put a hockey fan out of his/her misery

J.R.RiderSmokingWeedOutOfASodaCan

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Silky John-STON!: Why should that matter to you? I mean, you being banned and all.

Rick Chandler

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> I have watched a number of Zamboni breakdowns over the years. Nothing better than watching the rink jockeys attempt to hitch up one Zam to another and then attempt to pull it off the ice.

ahaley

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Paul Zuvella: +1. Sadly I made basically the same joke in DUAN.

(if a tree falls but it's during DUAN, does it still get a comment?)

NovakAintNoJokovic

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> This is what happens when you take the zamboni out the night before for a Burger King run.

econdave

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> You see, what the act is, is this...

Picture a Hockey Rink. I get on center ice with my wife. I preform sodomy on her. She then proceeds to bleed all over the ice. The kicker is, my wife is a Zamboni.

And we call it "THE ARISTOCRATS"

gbaked

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Police confirm the Bud Ice Penguin has been killed. Authorities say it is now safe to serve Bud Ice. That's right, just bring it all out in the open there. Nothing to worry about, everything's fine. And now, back to the music. Doo bee doo bee doo...

Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Richard Zednik is not impressed.

KoSuKe Fuk-U

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> The image of Jackie O trying to grab a chunk of the brain off the Zambo will be forever burned into our collective conscious.

back and to the left...back and to the left...

Average-Joe

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> shoulda been you, 94 plymouth

calmasacucumber

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> The real story is some poor soul jumped in front of the Zamboni, once again delaying the itinerary for the book tour.

Laser Guided

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> I see the Newfie's started seal hunting season early this year. Thank god someone finally took out Heather Mills.

SonofSpurrier

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Isn't this how the movie Sudden Death ended?

Chamomiles Davis

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Paul Zuvella: +1 my friend, +1.

Munsoned

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> This is why I always try to be there for the pre-game skate. You never know when something weird will happen.

If you move the scoreboard a little to the left in the first picture, you can see me, sitting in C-28 and calling my dad to tell him to watch the pre-game show.

Notice that thin red line at the far edge of the Zamboni's pre-spill cut? I saw that and said, "Is that leaking something?" Not one second later, the Zamboni reached the spot where you see the worst of the spill, and started spinning its wheels.

The ice was little bad for the first period. (Or, more accurately, a little worse than the usual rutted mess that Mellon Arena has been inflicting on the Pens all season.) The Zamboni needed two passes in the first intermission, making a dry cut the first time. That delayed the second period because the second cut was so late, a linesman had to squeegee some standing water from the goalie traps at both ends.

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> i ran over a dog the other day. do you think it was appropriate to say 'yo, dog...why you all up in my grill?'
/morgan murphy


MenaceIISobriety

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> My favourite memory of attending a hockey game in Pittsburgh involved waiting in line to use the urinal in their absolute hellhole of an arena. Some of the other urinals are non-functioning and covered with garbage bags. Some guy just decides he's done with waiting, rips the garbage off and goes to work. Classy.

mudcrutch79

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> The cutbacks to afford Sidney Crosby begin. Also, the pipes in that building are old and rusty.

Contempty

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> sigh. they sent a female zamboni to do a man's work. everyone knows that zamboni needed to be in the factory, making more male zambonis.

frontrowgirl

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> The Zamboni driver apparently jumped off, ran to Tony Stewart's Zamboni and punched him in the face during the caution- I mean intermission.

Al Czerviks Ride

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Guarenteed someone yakked in the bathroom after the Zednick accident.

S.O.L.

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Tuffy: Nicely done.

I've also been meaning to send props your way for the avatar. The last 10 minutes of that movie scared the living shit out of me when I first saw it on cable as a young lad.

Wyshynski

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Carl Monday was on hand to check into this "nocturnal transmission fluid."

Whitey Fisk

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: *sigh* I know, I can't wait for the book tour to be over either.

Silky John-STON!

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: everyone knows that a byline that reads "by: Rick" means Will didn't write it

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Silky John-STON!: everyone knows Will doesn't read the site on the weekends (see also: [deadspin.com])

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> This was awesome to see

the first time it was posted on this site

Yesterday.

Silky John-STON!

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> That's one toon that's not messing with anyone anymore.

Tuffy

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Baretta did that shit...

Fundamentally UnSound

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Time to change the arena's receipt roll

That one took me a second. I applaud you for keeping it G rated.

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Paul Zuvella: +1

LeagueofShadows

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @The Fan's Attic: it sure as hell beats a fashion show at the intermission [islanders.nhl.com]

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Be careful with the Zamboni headlights this week, they tend to be more sensitive.

TheStarterWife

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> This intermission will require more patience than Mercy Hospital.

Raskolnikov

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> I don't think this is the right tactic to make inroads with the female audience.

The Fan’s Attic

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> It's time to teach the Zamboni how to wipe.

Jefferson Short Bus

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> what you can't see is danny glover examining all the bodies that are hanging upside down from the rafters

the earl of weaver

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Shoulda been you Bettman.

gunga galunga gunga - gunga galunga

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Detroit's NHL team was playing elsewhere, but the Red Wings were in the building.

Wilf

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Gourmet Spud: Awed golf-clap for you.

Dave J.

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> The Pens killed the shit out of that penalty.

Spors Gratia Sportis

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> "I knew I shouldn't have had the arena chili."-zamboni driver

UkraineNotWeak

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> I'm a big fan of riding the Zamboni during a transmission fluid emission, if ya catchs my drifts.

Brazil Thrill

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Carlton_Whitfield:
"A ZEPPELIN!"

/Ralphie's little brother


Wyshynski

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> For the rest of the season, the Pens will only use one zamboni. It's getting the job done at a lower cost and it fits in well with the rest of the ice crew. Perhaps they'll go back to two zambonis next year.

Raskolnikov

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Usually the spewing of fluids happens after the game.

Wilf

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Were all the players riding the Frozen Crimson Wave for the rest of the game?

The Fan’s Attic

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Time to change the arena's receipt roll.

Matt Sussman

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Another senseless tragedy that can evidently be blamed on a zeppelin! When will we ban this airborne menace?!?

Carlton_Whitfield

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Where's Dani Heatley?

The Fan’s Attic

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Paul Zuvella: +1

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Looks like the 500 or 600 fans that were there were pretty upset about this.

TheWrathofQBEagles

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Obviously, Hans Gruber had Karl shoot the glass before the zamboni made its run.

Wyshynski

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> If only Benjamin would have sent Sandy short musical clues as to his whereabouts, he couldve used a defibrilator to save the zamboni (and it could have gone on to become a U.S. citizen)

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> @Gourmet Spud: +1.

/ Nick

EditorOfTheDailyFaberian

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Yet another reason the Penguins should be moved.

Muzzo

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> During which period did the zamboni get its....period?

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> I can also attest that a 1988 Buick Park Avenue can do the same thing.

/stupid high school car

tater

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> IVE ABANDONED MY 'BONI!!!!!!

DennyCrane

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> This is why polar bears and penguins live at opposite poles.

Fuck Lion

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> The important thing is that the blimp is still intact.

Disgruntled Goat

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Tonight, on "Bloopers From The Columbia Outerwear Commercial"...

MDT

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> That's what Kevin Stevens gets for sleeping in the Zamboni.

McCroskey

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Najeh Davenport attended a Pens game!

Christmas Ape

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> So the game featured an unscheduled period?

Paul Zuvella

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> I knew Jean-Claude Van Damme couldn't skate for shit.

Phony Gwynn

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Uta Pippig in the Boston Marathon left less of a mess

Bob Sheppards Flock

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Bertuzzi?

Simon Phoenix

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Are we sure that's not what's left of Vince Coleman?

UkraineNotWeak

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Zambonis can be such bitches at that time of the month.

BloggyMcBlogBlog

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Aren't those the police photos from the scene of Eddie LeBec's death?

Gourmet Spud

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Drinking and driving the zamboni don't mix.

Chuckie Hacks 2 and 0

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> In 1999 at Yost, the Zamboni's engine blew out and we had a 45 minute delay. It was sitting right in front of us the whole time, and it just looked so helpless. Nothing this dramatic or visceral though.

Yostal

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Tiananmen was less of a clean-up than this.

MattinglysSideburns

]]> <![CDATA[When You're Too Slow To Avoid The Zamboni]]> Dad will be crushed!

TopesWin

]]>