Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity - Deadspin Comments

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

shawnkemp40 — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 13:40:34 EST

If you look really hard you can almost make out a moose knuckle

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Cecil Fielder's Indifference — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 13:22:28 EST

@Carlton_Whitfield:
GOB: But it does look like he's not going to show. I kind of feel like that kid who found the severed hand.

Steve Holt: "Hey, Dad, look what I found!"

GOB: Anything for his father's approval. Heartbreaking.

Cecil Fielder's Indifference

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

TheMayorOfSabanation — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:38:28 EST

@CIALIS COOPER: Don't you know they have t-shirt airguns for that now?

TheMayorOfSabanation

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

The Diesel — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:34:53 EST

Who cares? The anticipation of todays, "Guest Lecture Series" trumps this bigtime. I hope its Bob Costas.

The Diesel

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

jmjonesjr — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:31:20 EST

@Lunatic Fringe: The team is actually the Stars, they're just acknowledging the rocket stuff further. Especially since there's not a giant model of all the stages of a Saturn V rocket now.

I would pay for season tickets right now if this happened.

jmjonesjr

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Scout — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:30:25 EST

Both Clemens and that lady's outfit are still better than Enron.

/silver lining for Houstonians

Scout

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

I Am Kyle's Raging Panic Attack — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:27:29 EST

Clemens + T-shirt cannon = concussed children who earned their bloodied Stars memorabilia the Rocket way

I Am Kyle's Raging Panic Attack

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

VTBen — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:17:46 EST

"Red Rocket! Red Rocket!"
-Cartman

VTBen

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

EddieRebel — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:15:36 EST

I once went to a killer Ozzie Canseco pool party at Mallard Point.

EddieRebel

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:13:02 EST

I figured the next logical step for Roger was an appearance at Wrestelmania as special guest referee

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

tater — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:12:14 EST

It's old Cheri Oteri again.

tater

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Lunatic Fringe — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:11:40 EST

Well I guess since there is a NASA site in Huntsville, the Rockets make sense.

and The "Huntsville Roid-Raging, Neo-Con Assholes"
won't fit on a uniform.

Lunatic Fringe

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

7-8 Deville — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:11:15 EST

that woman on the left is managing to keep it together pretty well considering her dog tore up several of her sweaters and she had to piece something together at the last minute.

7-8 Deville

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

The White Boom Boom — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:10:31 EST

@Peter Cavan: They're doing the Lord's work.

And by "Lord" I mean fat guys.

The White Boom Boom

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

MitchKayak — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:09:17 EST

15% discount? That is just above and beyond.

These guys are class acts.

Roger, take the job.

MitchKayak

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

suntastic — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:09:10 EST

"Polecat" sounds like a euphemism for a stripper.

suntastic

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

CIALIS COOPER — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:08:48 EST

It would be entertaining to watch him wing a free t-shirt toward the heckler in the front row.

CIALIS COOPER

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Secret Identity — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:05:08 EST

Apparently Roger can lead the crowd in a rendition of YMCA.

Secret Identity

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:02:19 EST

@7-8 Deville: Ribbee, the Director of Fun and Entertainment for the West Tenn Diamond Jaxx > Capital City Goofball

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Peter Cavan — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:01:31 EST

@The White Boom Boom: Mike Mangino invests heavily in waistband tensile-strength research. Roger helps them out with field tests.

Peter Cavan

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:00:13 EST

@Carlton_Whitfield: Not as creepy as Barbara Streisand standing behind Clemens decked out in her Zulu Nation attire.

Doyle McPoyle

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

ArkansasFred — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:00:08 EST

Clemens would be a perfect stand in as the polecat is a member of the weasel family.

ArkansasFred

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

7-8 Deville — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:59:56 EST

@Doyle McPoyle: Homer the Polecat < Capital City Goofball

7-8 Deville

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:59:49 EST

[web.minorleaguebaseball.com]

I pictured something completely different when I heard Homer the Polecat

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Jews For Purple Jesus — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:59:23 EST

The Backstop Shop is also code for ESPN Cafeteria.

Jews For Purple Jesus

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

the earl of weaver — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:58:42 EST

They're a Milwaukee Brewers affiliate? Then why the hell isn't their mascot the Octabong?

the earl of weaver

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Civil Negligence — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:58:22 EST

Mmmm, (free) hot beef injection.

Civil Negligence

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

The White Boom Boom — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:57:28 EST

@The Sports Hernia: When your gut can help keep the shirt/pant unity that tight, it's pretty easy. I can only imagine the tensile strength of that waistband.

The White Boom Boom

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:55:51 EST

He'll be busy fending off Big-Head Barry's advances.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:55:09 EST

The disembodied hand on that plaque is pretty creepy.

Carlton_Whitfield

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

I_LIKE_THE_WAY_SNRUB_THINKS — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:55:07 EST

He would eventually be replaced by Paint Drinkin' Pete anyways...

I_LIKE_THE_WAY_SNRUB_THINKS

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Chief Wahoo — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:54:45 EST

One hot dog and one coke per game? They still hiring?

Chief Wahoo

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

thesepretzels — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:53:41 EST

If he's know as "The Rocket," wouldn't he just be able to dress up as himself?

thesepretzels

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Jews For Purple Jesus — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:53:36 EST

"Homer the Polecat" has to be on the B-squad at the Hermaphrodite Heaven club in Hunstville during his days off.

Jews For Purple Jesus

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Ray — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:53:09 EST

That lady is sporting the finest in kindergarten teacher couture.

Ray

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Its The Beer Talking — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:52:12 EST

"Since everybody this side of Venus knows you stuck a needle in Uranus,"

Fixed.

Its The Beer Talking

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:52:05 EST

Homer the Polecat < Dancing Homer

Doyle McPoyle

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Little Wooden Boy — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:52:05 EST

@Crookednose: I think I'd rather have Homer the Polecat.

Little Wooden Boy

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

gjdodger — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:51:37 EST

"Whoops! Sorry, Rog; the astronaut outfit is being cleaned. Here, put on the 'Homer the Polecat' outfit; no one will notice."

gjdodger

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

The Sports Hernia — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:51:37 EST

One day I hope to tuck my shirts in as nicely as Clemens.

The Sports Hernia

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:51:00 EST

Thumbs down on the outfit on the woman in the background.

UkraineNotWeak

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Afino — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:50:43 EST

He'll start showing up in July.

Afino

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

McCroskey — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:50:43 EST

Clemens, seen here calling his shot(s)

McCroskey

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

tater — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:50:31 EST

He'd only go if Andy Pettite was offered the hot dog vender vacancy.

tater

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

LeNoceur — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:49:12 EST

This is ideal for Roger, since he would only have to be at home games.

LeNoceur

Roger Clemens' Next Employment Opportunity

Crookednose — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 11:47:58 EST

Yankees still need starting pitching.

Crookednose