<![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Gotta love the grammar mistake in the VERY FIRST question. YAY ESPN!

groverexploder

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I was hoping they would pull the old "make sure you read ALL the questions first before taking the test" trick and have section 13 be "do not answer any of the questions"

blastitbiggs

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> You'd think they would have added a swim test by now.

Michael Bertin

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> In tWWL's defense, I was pleasantly surprised to see that exactly none of the questions were sponsored.

"Welcome to the Castrol Syntec Section 5."

Al Czerviks Ride

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Manute Say:
Here's a final question- Which prospective intern gets hired?
The one studying broadcast journalism at Northwestern and has consistently made dean's list?
Or the one with an encyclopedic knowledge of sports past and present while displaying tremendous work ethic?
Answer: The one with the biggest tits.

Sorry, Manute like the old jokes

ManuteBol

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Answer True or False:

Your parents know you are gay?

Stev D

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> the test is 1 question. you have a month to discuss it on air. pencils ready?

1. how NOW are you?

Laser Guided

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @UkraineNotWeak: Appolonia, the only hot girl in any 1970s movie.

suntastic

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> yes

suntastic

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> What the fuck is an "E-R-A?"

Dr. Spaceman, Esq.

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> This post looks like it will carry enough steam that the comments should keep me busy long enough to get over the hump that is "Guest Lecture Series", aka. SSW 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> In all fairness, it was nice of them to drop the 4 questions in "Section 13: Costuming Lee Corso".

hockalees

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> For Female Canidates Only:

Can you touch your elbows behind your back?

Stev D

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @SlickBomb: Since Vince got picked 3rd I think it's safe to say you've already been offered a position as Emmitt Smith's fact checker.

LesMilesIsAMouthyDouche

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @The Legend of Vincent Tremblay: Gotta include Pekka Rautakallio on any list of fun/insane names.

Agamemnon Busmalis

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Barry Melrose's mullet has become dry and unkempt. Which product should you use in taming it?

A. Castrol Syntec
B. Vicks Vapo Rub
C. Crisco
D. Tears of a Peruvian orphan.

Why Not Jon Lovitz?

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Complete the following sentences:

Nobody circles the wagons like ________________.

Johnny Unitas, from __________.

It's late September and I _________________.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Section 13. Think of the dumbest sports-related idea your stupidest friend has ever had. The most inane, lowest-common-denominator suggestion will be developed into a full fledged ESPN SportsCenter promotion that will be rammed down the throats of sports fans all summer long, at the expense of unimportant sports news such as the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

DirtyJersey

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Please note: Although Berman takes the day off each year, October 10th (Brett Favre's birthday) is not, in fact, a national holiday. All interns are expected to report.

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Its The Beer Talking:

#4: No reports of anyone falling asleep or committing suicide due to SA's game tempo.

Afino

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> As a history teacher, I must object to the use of four questions in the sports questions in which all of them require the ability to name a specific year. Plus, it can't be real, they asked about the NHL.

At least I now have something to do during parent-teacher conferences tonight.

Yostal

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @The Legend of Vincent Tremblay:

Yeah, I think I know how to spell the 2nd one.

Afino

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I'm surprised they didn't ask an opinion about those underground sports blogs that damage the credibility of ESPN...

-or-

Do you recognize any of these names? Will Leitch, Big Daddy Drew, Supermikes I-Va, Tuffy

Scout

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Mitch Albom has gotten upset with John Saunders and has gone into the air ducts and won't come out. What breakfast cereal will lure him out fastest?

A. Kashi Good Friends
B. Kellogg's Raisin Bran
C. Yogurt Covered Cheerios
D. A mixture of A,B and C along with some M&M's

Stev D

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Some fun duties include,

1. Shaving John Kruk's back, daily.
2. Spoonfeeding applesauce to Peter Gammons.
3. Joining Nutrisystem

Why Not Jon Lovitz?

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> The test for analysts is much simpler:

DO YOU MEET ONE OF THE FOLLOWING REQUIREMENTS?

1) Have you once played a professional sport and now have a brain made of Jello?

2) Did you general manage a team and trade for Mo Vaughn?

3) Do you have an aggressively exuberant personality that gets increasingly annoying upon repeated viewings?

4) Do you like wearing mascot heads?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, congratulations! You are now a part of the Worldwide Leader!

shea_guevara

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Sure the pay sucks, but they give you a sweet ESPN Mobile phone.

the earl of weaver

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @shea_guevara:

Didn't he marry a girl name Apollina over there?

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Question 13: You receive a text message from Stuart Scott saying "lemme know." Is he asking:

A. Which side of your pillow is coolest?
B. For three adjectives about Kobe Bryant that rhyme with "booyah?"
C. If you would like to have sex with him?
D. If his glass eye is in backwards?

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Secret Identity: huh. I think I prefer just to tell people how my name is pronounced.

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @The Legend of Vincent Tremblay: Don't forget the funnest name ever: Yevgeny Kafelnikov. Unless you were only doing hockey players. In that case, carry on.

Phony Gwynn

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Lady Andrea:

He changed the spelling of his name because people kept pronouncing it incorrectly.

Secret Identity

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Lady Andrea: He got in some trouble, had to go to Sicily for a while, then came back with a different name.

shea_guevara

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @UkraineNotWeak: True story. When Berman was an intern, one of his duties was to give swimming lessons to Tom Mees.

MattMillenFanClub

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> 3 errors in the NJ-SA box score:

1) Kidd FG% too high
2) Rodney Rogers actually a DNP (coach's decision - fat)
3) Nobody sexed Mutombo

Its The Beer Talking

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> The very first word of the very first question is a grammatical error/typo. Nice test, ESPN.

Barry Lutz

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Advanced Spelling Bee question:

Dmitri Afanasenkov
Maxim Afinogenov
Branko Radivojevic
Nikolai Khabibulin
Dustin Byfuglien
Mike Smiht

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> After the test, comes the swimwear competition.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @tater: I have a minor league baseball card (don't ask) for Graffanino and it has a "g" in it. What's up with that?

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Stev D:

Ask John Buccigross.

Afino

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Complete this bizarre analogy:

___________ is to Okkervill River as __________ is to the Kansas City Royals

Stev D

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Intern duties also include telling Mort that the new goatee works for him. Seriously, it does.

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Commenter Aaay: I wish I had thought of your commenter name. Outstanding.

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> (UPDATE: .... Either way. fun. And HARD.)

That's what I always tell my dates.

The Fan’s Attic

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Paterno went to University of Alexandria.
Everyone knows it was his fraternity's drunken hijinks that started the fire in the library.

DirtyJersey

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> What about their Wonderlic scores?

TheStarterWife

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Lady Andrea: Success is relative in this case. ESPN will hire you if you're able to do two things well on this test:

1: Make the fewest number of mistakes in the given time, to prove how well you handle the time pressures of live television
2: Blow off the hockey questions to handle the time pressures of live television.

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Page 3: Ensuring fact accuracy is the basis of everything we do

Unfortunately, like Howie Schwab, you only get paid in bags of Lays' potato chips.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Dan Daoust:
tWWL reserves the right to change spelling rules as necessry (sic)

lisa

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Rob Iracane:

I was informed there'd be no NASCAR.

Secret Identity

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> -----Scorecard-----
Brewers  5
Giants    4 F

* Prince Fielder is the son of Cecil Fielder, and is fat.
* The Giants overpay for the elderly players of the leauge.
* Barry Bonds likes it in the ass (steroids, that is)
* Noah Lowry is terrible

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @MattMillenFanClub: I blame Berman for that question.

UpstateUnderdog

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> This is hazing!

Microbano

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> First fucking word of the first fucking question: spelling mistake.

Dan Daoust

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> You'd probably meet more ESPN personalities if you got an internship at the Boston Market.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I just can't wait to see what fake name Joe Theismann is going to apply under

the earl of weaver

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> My spelling bee

Jhonny Peralta
Wally Sczerzerzbeck
Mark Grudizelonik
Tony Graffinino

tater

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Question 3: When does Mr. Berman like his coffee?

A. 8am
B. 9am
C. 10am
D. Now, punk! Jeeeeeesus...

Whitey Fisk

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @MattMillenFanClub: Joe Paterno actually went to Brown, wait is giving the correct answer funny?

Gary the No Trash Cougar

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Obvious ESPN/intern jokes aside, that test was fun.

poutineandgravy

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> From the bottom of page 3:

Compile a graphic using the following story. Since your time and resources are limited, you can fabricate some information you might have researched. If you do this, make sure the information is plausible.

Well, at least they're throwing their interns in a real-life scenario.

Tickenest

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Pick which story you think should have deserved extensive coverage on ESPN

Well, you can go ahead and start those New York Giants 19-0 rumors.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Interns are expected to rock Skip Bayless to sleep as he sobs uncontrollably.

HazelMaesLandingStrip

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Lady Andrea: it only confirms my suspicions that the Four-Letter has interns do all the actual work so when given staff jobs, earning any money for it seems like a benefit.

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Extra Credit: Have you ever been to Boston Market?

Randall Tex Cobb

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I'll be damned if The Bong in Binghamton won't let me have a tape of Cornell winning the IVY if I become an intern at ESPN.

TimBiakabutukaMyLunchMoney

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Manute say: Interns must have ability to pretend to enjoy anything said by Chris Berman

ManuteBol

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @MiyamotosChin: His tears probably cure cancer.

diddly

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Manute Say:
Manute hear as part of hazing ritual, new interns must lick clean the Budweiser Hot Seat. It's true.

ManuteBol

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Page 2...I think Iracane wrote question #4.

Its The Beer Talking

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Requirements:
-Piss ON Stink Schelreths' pants (he's too famous to do it himself anymore).
-Clean Beano Cook's tighty-whiteys.
-Wave a large tropical leaf in front of Mike Golic as he is doing the radio show.

Christ Sabo

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @The Diesel:

+1

Afino

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Tyler Hinman thinks the ESPN intern has no life.

Sex-Panther

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Evidently ESPN still uses typewriters and refers to the "Mighty Ducks"... they get an F on this test.

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> this app still has nothing on the American Gladiators Application.

7-8 Deville

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Page 4...spelling bee???

I don't think Coach K even knows how to spell his last name correctly.

tater

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Oh, I forgot:

*find new kindergarten kids to write for Emmitt Smith

*purchase cocaine for Brian Kenny and Jay Harris to snort during commercial breaks of 6pm Sportscenter

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Question:

If John Doe (11 IP, 15 ER) is on a Train 1 going 57 mph East on a flat plane and Mike Smith (74 1/3 IP, 100 ER) is on Train 2 going (wind assisted) 32 mph West from 45 miles away…which NHL hockey team will win the Davis Cup this year and why.

Please show your calculations and underline the answer.

Scout

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> That seems...pretty intense for an intern position. And there's no way all the numbnuts that work at ESPN can answer all those questions.

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Gottlieb's intern keeps losing his wallet.

The Diesel

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @MattMillenFanClub:

Athens U

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> How many questions pertain to Duke/UNC and Yanks/Red Sox since most of an intern's work time will be devoted to those two matchups?

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Love the last question on Page Six. "Which person has done more damage to their sport: Barry Bonds, Michael Vick, or Tim Donaghy? Justify your answer.

If you answer Donaghy, you're automatically disqualified, I bet.

Signal to Noise

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @UkraineNotWeak: don't confuse me with facts. and you didn't answer the question.

MattMillenFanClub

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> "Frank TV" > Guest Lecture Series.
Suck on that, Big Daddy Drew

The Diesel

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> If you're selected, you get to go to the Intern Camp in Auschwitz, Connecticut.

Phony Gwynn

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @MattMillenFanClub:
I'd love to talk to Joe one on one. My guess is he would tell me stories much like Abraham Simpson.

tater

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos: No, but it does ask you to draw the Pirate Parrot and the Phillie Phanatic.

Peter Cavan

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @MattMillenFanClub:
Him and Aristotle used to room together and oftentimes skipped out of Plato's evening lectures.

stealofthedraft

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Some of the job requirements:

*Retrieve Stu Scott's glass eye when it pops out

*Accompany Pam Ward on her dildo shopping tours

*Will be referred to as "fuckhead" by Berman

*help bury the remains of Craig Kilborn's career

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Chief Wahoo:

Worked for Linda Cohn.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Favre better end this press conference by saying, "I'm in town to play the Dolphins, dumbass."

Crookednose

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Getting closer to "Guest Lecture Series" time. I'm excited to bring the funny to a screeching halt.

The Diesel

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Can't I just sleep with someone?

Chief Wahoo

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @MattMillenFanClub:

JoePa studied with Aristotle.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @TebowWearsJorts: Crap, nice one.

I go the internship position based on my full name alone: Dick Boyah VanLeather.

Jim_Ed_isabadman

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I'd love to see the hosts try and answer these.

twoeightnine

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Does the test involve drawing a picture of a "Parrot Pirate"?

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Afino: I always thought if that man was to have an outside job it would be moderator of Lambda Lambda Lambda.

Civil Negligence

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> What are some of the questions? I cant see the pages due to work filters.

sir_pantsalot

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> On Page 5, where did Joe Paterno go to college? The man's old as time itself.

Hey Joe, Jesus called and wants his sandals back

MattMillenFanClub

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> If Vince Young can get a 6, and still get picked #1, I think I have a pretty good shot!

SlickBomb

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I got my ESPN intership 7 years ago by verifying the ability to transport 3 bottles of Les Deux in my ass. Times change.

Jim_Ed_isabadman

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I think they're going to have to rub something other than Berman's feet

stealofthedraft

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Final question before they actually accept you:
"Does the term "You're with me intern" scare you?
Yes or No

sir_pantsalot

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @Civil Negligence:

He's just spending some time with his other job.....Cryptkeeper.

Afino

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> @TebowWearsJorts: No, but it does involve security to keep me out of Tony Romo's awesome party in the break room. Sigh.
-S. Van Pelt

The Diesel

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Why do they need interns? Is John Clayton slacking off again?

Civil Negligence

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Intern with the highest score gets a shot at the Schwab.

Bluenatic

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Is bathing John Kruk with a rag on a stick still a requirement to be an intern on BTN?

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Does being an intern involve smuggling some deux deux duex's over for Berman?

TimBiakabutukaMyLunchMoney

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Marlon Brown (Ramsey College alum) would not do well on that test.

Bunkie Perkins

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I'm willing to be Erin Andrews' intern and tend to her personal needs.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> [Threadjack] Brett Favre is crying on television right now. [/Threadjack]

L

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I NEVER LEARNED TO READ!

MitchKayak

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Section 4 is obviously not something an intern would do.

That would mean ESPN covers the NHL.

Afino

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I'd like to be the intern that gets to hold the bowl of Blue Cheese that warms Chris Berman's feet.

The Sports Hernia

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> I was informed there'd be no math.

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> job requirement: massage Berman's foot boils everyday at 2:15.

The Diesel

]]> <![CDATA[Presenting The ESPN Intern Application]]> Ahh interships...the last form of legalized slavery.

tater

]]>