Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers - Deadspin Comments

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Russkiejedi — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:07:34 EDT

By the way, the worst thing that happened this offseason was losing FuneralOnAShip. Sheffield's gonna get cranky without his Sunkist.

Russkiejedi

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Russkiejedi — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:06:15 EDT

I vote #4, but only if the Somali pirates come in to loot the wreckage.

Russkiejedi

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Yinka Double Dare — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 16:18:49 EDT

This has to be one of the biggest boom/bust potential teams I've ever seen. They could win 105 and I wouldn't be terribly surprised. They could crash to under 80 and I actually wouldn't be that surprised either. PECOTA struck a happy medium of 91 wins. Sounds reasonable enough.

Yinka Double Dare

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Chief Wahoo — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:56:51 EDT

@tomsearlyexit: I'm like Old Faithful my friend. Of course my team has been saying "Wait til next year" since Lou Boudreau played.

Chief Wahoo

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Babcocksure — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:51:25 EDT

@Chief Wahoo: ahh the Chief. Wondering when you were going to pipe in with the pro Indians / Anti Tigers schtick

/why DS rules

Babcocksure

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Sheepblog — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:26:43 EDT

1. Granderson
2. Polanco
3. Cabera
4. Ordonez
5. Sheffield
6. Guillen
7. Renteria
8. Jones/Thames
9. Pudge

Starting Pitching Rotation
1. Verlander
2. Rogers
3. Bonderman
4. Willis
5. Robertson

That is not on the top of Mt. Suck. Will be a fun summer in the D.

Sheepblog

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Chief Wahoo — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:21:17 EDT

Have fun scoring 10 runs a game and losing.

Chief Wahoo

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

rock & rye — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:18:55 EDT

Bazardo! Bazardo! I love you. Bazardo!

/Sealab 2021

rock & rye

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Matt Sussman — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:58:15 EDT

Matt Sussman

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

The Sports Hernia — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:57:08 EDT

Bring. Back. Deer.

The Sports Hernia

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Yinka Double Dare — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:40:09 EDT

@Camp Tiger Claw: Nothing a little bit of losing your money at casinos can't fix!

Oh, wait.

Yinka Double Dare

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Yinka Double Dare — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:32:37 EDT

It's only a matter of time before all the longtime fans start getting priced out by jerk lawyers from Chicago buying ticket packages for their in-laws as a gift and bankers.

You're welcome!

@Tuffy: I think his nickname this year is going to be "Big Regression to the Mean"

Yinka Double Dare

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Babcocksure — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:29:18 EDT

@Cain of ABEL: at least we wont have to watch Inge strikeout anymore!

Babcocksure

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Glenn Beck's Taint — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:26:32 EDT

Too Many Marlins

Glenn Beck's Taint

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Brazil Thrill — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:25:17 EDT

@Brazil Thrill: Nobel even.

Brazil Thrill

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

blastitbiggs — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:25:07 EDT

The Five People You Meet In Parallel Heaven

blastitbiggs

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

blastitbiggs — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:24:04 EDT

Nothing beats the success and admiration of Parallel Matt Millen.

blastitbiggs

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Brazil Thrill — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:16:18 EDT

@Gourmet Spud: And they did so with the help of Noble Prize winner Ron Jocker, a great athlete and an even better person.

Brazil Thrill

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Jefferson Short Bus — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:14:03 EDT

Mauled by a human in the Detroit Zoo.

Jefferson Short Bus

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Randall Tex Cobb — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:13:17 EDT

Michigan has plenty of bankers.

If you count people who run payday loan stores and repo men.

Randall Tex Cobb

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Al Czerviks Ride — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:12:34 EDT

Meanwhile in perpendicular world, the Tigers win the Super Bowl in Game 7 on a penalty shot given after Alex Rodriguez was called for charging.

Al Czerviks Ride

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

WHYGAVS — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:08:35 EDT

For some reason the last option of the poll has me thinking of Hand Banana.

All he knows is "ball" and "good" .... AAAAND RAPE!!!

There goes sleeping tonight.

WHYGAVS

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Cain of ABEL — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:08:20 EDT

I'm so happy I'm not a Tigers fan, as this year will be a massive dissappointment.
Cabrera- will be awesome
Verlander- awesome

other than that, there'll be a whole hord of regressing toward the norm...I'm looking at you Mags, you too PlaciDOH!

Cain of ABEL

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Camp Tiger Claw — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:07:20 EDT

@tomsearlyexit: Has anyone been to Detroit? It looks like it's been attacked. And it has. By the economy.

/Eugene Mirman

Camp Tiger Claw

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Camp Tiger Claw — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:06:15 EDT

@SEXY ELEANOR ROOSEVELT: +1

Camp Tiger Claw

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Jerkwheat — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:06:07 EDT

@Tuffy: seriously, how is Los Tilde Grande not even mentioned ONCE?!?

Jerkwheat

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

J-No — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:05:27 EDT

The commentariot votes Yes We Can on rape jokes.

J-No

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Sex-Panther — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:04:24 EDT

As far as the bullpen goes, whatever.

Todd Jones feels the same way.

Sex-Panther

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:03:48 EDT

@Tracy Ham and Eggs:

In the Bizarro World there are.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:03:06 EDT

@tomsearlyexit:

And the Motown Sound will start producing hits again.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

McCroskey — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:00:18 EDT

* Tries to play three Rock Band instruments and sing at the same time.

McCroskey

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Babcocksure — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:57:51 EDT

"Detroit being what it is, there aren't any indigenous bankers to do the job; they'll have to be shipped in from out of state, which means this could actually trigger the long-hoped-for Michigan economic revival."

And the automotive industry will start using American parts and real steel again. It's a win win!

Babcocksure

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

SEXY ELEANOR ROOSEVELT — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:57:45 EDT

Jim Leyland will die in the dugout right before the Tigers face Clubber Lang.

SEXY ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Gourmet Spud — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:57:40 EDT

@Brazil Thrill:

I'm still amazed that they won fourteen World Series with only one division title.

Gourmet Spud

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

LosOsosdeChicago — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:55:49 EDT

I find this poll racist.

LosOsosdeChicago

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Steve Trachsel, Ace — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:55:34 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: There are white cab drivers in DC? Are they on strike too?

Steve Trachsel, Ace

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

the earl of weaver — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:54:35 EDT

I don't know if this is breaking news to you, Mr. Mathis-Lilley, but Joe Morgan lost his mind in the early '90's.

the earl of weaver

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:53:45 EDT

Bizarro Dontrelle Willis is white and drives a cab in DC.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Camp Tiger Claw — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:52:40 EDT

Parallel universe Jim Leyland is not a decrepid bag of soot and self-loathing.

He's an ice cream man!

Camp Tiger Claw

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Gourmet Spud — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:52:35 EDT

...this could actually trigger the long-hoped-for Michigan economic revival.

Hey, it worked for...um...

Gourmet Spud

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Babcocksure — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:52:13 EDT

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: D trains comeback year baby! oh and Zumaya will get in a accident playing guitar hero while his house is on fire, while throwing in the bullpen

Babcocksure

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Tuffy — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:51:32 EDT

Needs more Big Tilde.

Tuffy

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:50:21 EDT

The comments, ze are gone!

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:49:03 EDT

@Doyle McPoyle: Least he's not a lush. But bizzaro Jimmy has a nasty coke habit.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Signal to Noise — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:48:31 EDT

Forgot "Trying to argue race in baseball with Gary Sheffield."

Signal to Noise

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Brazil Thrill — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:48:20 EDT

Parallel-universe Braves were also one hell of a team.

Brazil Thrill

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Doyle McPoyle — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:47:43 EDT

Parallel Jim Leyland is addicted not to cigarettes, but instead to violent tranny sex.

Doyle McPoyle

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:47:31 EDT

@Tracy Ham and Eggs: You're a brave man, but a fool. The arm would be reduced to bone in about 2 seconds, 1 if the mustard was handy. But, damn the boy can hit.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Secret Identity — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:47:14 EDT

Dee Mirich was a real dark horse suitor.

Secret Identity

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

kayceebk — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:46:42 EDT

Miguel Cabrera -- a 25-year-old, fatter version of Alex Rodriguez --

Affirmed.

kayceebk

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:45:47 EDT

Ladies and Gents, your 2008 AL champs...as long as the bullpen doesn't implode by June 1st, but I have faith in Leyland. Detroit is due for some good news.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

Steve Trachsel, Ace — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:45:08 EDT

*Puts his arm between Miguel Cabrera and the postgame buffet.

Steve Trachsel, Ace

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

The Diesel — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:44:59 EDT

You forgot, "Arms flies off at 104 mph." I'm voting for that around July 2nd.

The Diesel

Baseball Season Preview: Detroit Tigers

CardedForDissent — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 13:44:08 EDT

Jimmy Leyland aka Dark Horse

CardedForDissent