Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well - Deadspin Comments

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Ichiro Death Glare — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 22:53:05 EDT

Oh that Ichiro. Always dressed to impress.

But yeah, slumps are bad, but not in March. Has anybody bothered to check if he's hitting right-handed?

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

shawnkemp40 — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:00:08 EDT

@strong like bull smart like tractor:
Ichiro is good enough to run around those traffic cones and still make the play. Pimp!

shawnkemp40

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Rob Iracane — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:49:52 EDT

@J.L. White: Now put it in haiku form! Whee!

Rob Iracane

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

strong like bull smart like tractor — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:41:53 EDT

@J.L. White:

Our outfield defense
now consists of Ichiro
and two traffic cones

strong like bull smart like tractor

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

J.L. White — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:39:43 EDT

@Rob Iracane: Ichiro isn't even playing today! Thank you, Dave Niehaus! You are a HOFer announcer, and I still get goosebumps when listening to your call of Edgar Martinez's GW double against the Yankees in 1995! You rock!!!

/Seattle-ized

J.L. White

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

J.L. White — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:37:27 EDT

@J.L. White: I wrote that joke about Ramirez just minutes before finding out that he got cut. Woo Hoo!!!! Now, have you guys heard the one bout a priest, a rabbi and Jose Vidro? Well, it goes.....

J.L. White

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Rob Iracane — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:36:26 EDT

Ichiro isn't even playing today! Damn you, Dave Niehaus!

Rob Iracane

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

kayceebk — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:32:16 EDT

@Triple B: Bottle of furniture polish . . .

kayceebk

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

PQ Crash — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:27:28 EDT

@Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast: @J.L. White:

Hitless in spring,
Plentiful in fall.
Won't someone take me home?

PQ Crash

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

J.L. White — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:19:22 EDT

Trading Adam Jones

Nice to get Bedard but still

Left with corner stumps.

J.L. White

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

J.L. White — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:15:32 EDT

@PQ Crash: Have your read Horatio Ramirez's "Ode to the 87 MPH Fastball Tossed Casually Down the Middle of the Plate?" It's hard to imagine such beautiful words emanating from such an unbelievably shitty pitcher!

J.L. White

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:13:54 EDT

@PQ Crash: There once was a man from the 'Zuela
Who's bat would constantly fail 'ya
While he's great with the glove,
It's still hard to love
Men with a worse av'rage than Tony Pena (jr.)

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Triple B — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:08:54 EDT

@Chief Wahoo: Bottle of red, bottle of white ...

Triple B

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her! — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:08:00 EDT

@Chief Wahoo: In some cultures, a hitter who fails to hit brings shame upon himself and his family. Such shame can only be absolved through ritual suicide. Too bad that isn't the case here.

/fixed

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her!

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Chief Wahoo — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:06:39 EDT

@Gourmet Spud: C'mon, Billy Joel has many hits. A telephone pole, a tree, a building...

Chief Wahoo

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Chief Wahoo — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:05:38 EDT

In some cultures, a hitter who fails to hit brings shame upon himself and his family. Such shame can only be absolved through ritual suicide. Good thing that isn't the case here.

Chief Wahoo

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Steve Trachsel, Ace — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:05:10 EDT

@Gourmet Spud: Oh, bad move. Obviously missed Duan last night..

Steve Trachsel, Ace

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Triple B — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:03:48 EDT

Ichiro has been in a slump ever since MLB banned him from wearing those teenage girl underpants that he bought at a Tokyo vending machine.

Triple B

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Lady Andrea — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:02:11 EDT

@PeteJayhawk: this isn't "Hook."

Lady Andrea

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

PQ Crash — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:00:46 EDT

@J.L. White: Don't forget Jose Lopez's limericks after he grounds into an inning-ending double play.

PQ Crash

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

J.L. White — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:58:43 EDT

Once I get a hit it might actually make me sad that this experience isn't going to be here any more.

Yeah, as a M's fan nothing gives me greater joy than the best hitter on my team enjoying the existential ennui of not hitting. I can't wait to read Raul Ibanez's soul-wrenching poetry after he strikes out in the bottom of the ninth against the Angels!

J.L. White

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Weed Against Speed — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:58:23 EDT

Ichiro may kind of miss not hitting well but Kaz Matsui will not miss not shitting well.

Weed Against Speed

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:52:14 EDT

See this is the problem with posts that have an Asian in them. You read one think it's enough but then eventually you are going to want another one.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Pete Gaines — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:51:58 EDT

IIIICHIIIIIROOOO!

Pete Gaines

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Chief Wahoo — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:50:39 EDT

Hey Ichiro, go punch yourself in the face.

Chief Wahoo

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Chamomiles Davis — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:50:01 EDT

Please, Suzuki-san?
Kaz Tadano humbly begs
for his dildo back

Chamomiles Davis

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

ArkansasFred — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:48:52 EDT

So it's ok I haven't felt a woman's touch in well over a decade?

ArkansasFred

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Doyle McPoyle — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:48:44 EDT

I'm still waiting on Julio Franco's first hit for the Mets.

Doyle McPoyle

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Evgeni Merkin — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:47:21 EDT

Ichiro no hit
It's only exhibition
Still win batting crown

/Haiku'd

Evgeni Merkin

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Gourmet Spud — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:47:20 EDT

A hitless streak trumped only by Billy Joel.

Gourmet Spud

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Slothrop — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:46:46 EDT

@Lady Andrea:

well, Ichiro is secretly played by a Sicilian.

Slothrop

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

The Gizmo from Pismo — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:46:30 EDT

@the earl of weaver: really..why wouldn't he want to go to cleveland?

The Gizmo from Pismo

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Civil Negligence — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:46:13 EDT

I would be giddy too if I received a huge, erect glass dildo.

Civil Negligence

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Fat-Fat — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:46:07 EDT

Every Brewers game is compelling. Just me?

Fat-Fat

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

HazelMaesLandingStrip — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:43:32 EDT

"Once I get a hit it might actually make me sad that this experience isn't going to be here any more.

Richie Sexson is excited to experience that feeling too.

HazelMaesLandingStrip

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Lady Andrea — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:43:07 EDT

Did Will just compare Ichiro to the Crying Indian?

Lady Andrea

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

the earl of weaver — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:42:56 EDT

Easy pep talk: Tell him to turn things around or he'll be traded to Cleveland.

the earl of weaver

Ichiro Will Kind Of Miss Not Hitting Well

Dead Wrestlers Society — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:42:53 EDT

taking off his helmet and looking skyward and then proclaiming, "I am the greatest of all-time."

/Rickey Henderson'd

Dead Wrestlers Society