Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies - Deadspin Comments

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Dieter — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 10:57:57 EDT

I realize that I'm two days late here, but isn't Jay Johnstone best known for hosting "Lighter Side of Sports"?

Dieter

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Chamomiles Davis — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:03:56 EDT

Welcome back to where you belong, Balls!

Chamomiles Davis

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

J-No — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 16:15:01 EDT

Welcome home, AJ. We missed you.

Also, I do not like this hierarchy stuff. I see a power struggle coming between the guest writers, AJ, BDD.

J-No

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Patchy Drizzle — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:31:15 EDT

I saw a number of those baby blue button down Balls(TM) "jerseys" in Coors Field the night the Phillies were swept. A lot of them were stained with tears, beer and vomit.

Patchy Drizzle

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

econdave — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:26:46 EDT

Hard to believe, Harry.

econdave

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Clare — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:54:50 EDT

@DontPracticeRenteria: Having met Jen Utley I can tell you that I'd hate her guts if she weren't so awesome. Seriously, that lady has it all: Kind and cheerful to strangers, sharp as a tack, funny as hell, gorgeous, super hot husband. Luckiest girl in the world.

Clare

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

DontPracticeRenteria — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:48:17 EDT

@Clare: Jen Utley is like the girl from Juno... she makes me want to spoon. Anna Benson is just plain sexy though, these two couldn't be any different.

DontPracticeRenteria

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

DontPracticeRenteria — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:48:14 EDT

@Clare: Jen Utley is like the girl from Juno, she makes me want to spoon. Anna Benson is just plain sexy though, these two couldn't be any different.

DontPracticeRenteria

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Uecker Seats — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:44:39 EDT

@Yostal: You know, Charles Nelson Reilly once told a story about a boy who falls into a magician's hat and enters a magical world of hat-humans.

Uecker Seats

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

HugsFromHarold — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:25:54 EDT

@Slothrop: "I'm Dick Schaap, welcome to the Sports Reporters."

And will we see the return of the Cultutal Oddsmaker?

HugsFromHarold

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Yostal — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:25:20 EDT

You know, Thomas Riley Marshall once told a story about a mother who had two sons: "One ran away and went to sea, the other blogged for Philadelphia Magazine's Daily Examiner, neither one was ever heard of again."

Yostal

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Clare — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:22:41 EDT

As for the actual content of the preview, I've been saying since the day they signed her husband that Anna Benson and Jen Utley are going to be the Stadler and Waldorf of the Phillies wives. Book it.

Clare

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

TheStarterWife — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:20:44 EDT

@Clare: Nah, he's mentioned it before a few times. It was a dream never to be realized anyway.

TheStarterWife

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Sheepblog — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:20:10 EDT

@josereyes.theroof admits Gawker Media always wins:
Am I correct...is that a "That Thing You Do" ref? +1 for "Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters" abstract.

Sheepblog

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

TheStarterWife — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:19:42 EDT

In six months I wanna see a picture of that shirt covered in Cheez Whiz and tears.

If that isn't a comment of the fortnight, I don't know what is.

Also, I hope AJ's woman beats the shit out of him for mocking her thoughtful present, for the second time now.

TheStarterWife

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

the earl of weaver — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:19:38 EDT

You can up the classiness quotient of that shirt by adding these bad boys. Or at least have your groomsmen wear them.

the earl of weaver

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

David Hume — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:17:36 EDT

This was a great preview.

If we can make this happen, we neeeeed to get Salisbury and BDD together for the Vikes next year.

David Hume

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

MitchKayak — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:15:07 EDT

Why are we still talking about Anna Benson? Can't we have her beaten?

I heard they do that in Philly. Get on it.

MitchKayak

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Clare — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:14:04 EDT

You're engaged? Mazel tov, Balls!

(TSW is gonna shit.)

Clare

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

FightTiger — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:13:45 EDT

"Traveling sec Eddie Ferenz once cold-cocked reliever Dick Selma, knocking him onto the baggage carousel in Newark Airport."

Today, ESPN would turn such an event into a Federal case, complete with "apologies". Pussies.

FightTiger

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

7-8 Deville — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:10:52 EDT

Yes, baseball is awful now...

/fixed

7-8 Deville

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

crazyjoedavola — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:10:06 EDT

Two words Philly fans. Brad Lidge...

crazyjoedavola

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Stev D — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:09:10 EDT

I can't wait to throw snowballs at Rocky!

Stev D

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Cinco Ocho — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:06:57 EDT

A.J. Daulerio will be the senior writer at Deadspin starting March 31.

Did i miss something this week?

Cinco Ocho

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

rubylegs — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:04:45 EDT

whaa? Jabba surfed????

impossible.

rubylegs

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Helmet Touch — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:04:44 EDT

@Sh!tShow: +1...I actually LOL'd at that image.

Helmet Touch

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:04:43 EDT

@ArkansasFred: Of course not, their team has won a playoff game in the last 15 years.

Doyle McPoyle

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Rob Iracane — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:04:22 EDT

New Jack Shirsey is what I've been calling my home state all these years.

Rob Iracane

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:03:50 EDT

Belinsky chose wrong. If he'd gone with Dawn Wells instead of Tina Louise, he could've smoked some righteous weed.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:03:36 EDT

@Secret Identity: I never thought it'd come to this, now I can never go home.
Ah, the dulcet tones of 1994...

Carlton_Whitfield

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:03:27 EDT

@Schluby:

What if it was a Golden Graham? Those things keep!

Gourmet Spud

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Signal to Noise — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:02:57 EDT

@Weed Against Speed: no, Will likely designed a custom wallpaper with Conlin on one side and Zook on the other.

Signal to Noise

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:02:30 EDT

Seinfeld puffy shirt > Phillies shirt/jersey aka "shirsey"

UpstateUnderdog

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

GungaGalunga — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:02:28 EDT

Who knew Bo "Borat" Belinsky was a goofy foot surfer?

GungaGalunga

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:02:16 EDT

I'm gathering you could find that swimsuit somewhere in the back of Conlin's closet.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

parker91 — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:02:02 EDT

Normally, this would be the point at which I'd make the shiny paper and big bows crack about last season, but I'm too stunned by those photos of Conlin to act pissed off.

parker91

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

BigRicks — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:01:46 EDT

In Re: The "Shirsey":

It's a New Jack Swing comin' at ya

BigRicks

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

GungaGalunga — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:00:33 EDT

Who knew Borat was a goofy footer?

GungaGalunga

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:59:46 EDT

Calling Chuck Tanner "permissive" is like calling Hitler "mildly anti-Semitic."

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Secret Identity — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:59:44 EDT

All along the undertow is strengthening its hold...

Secret Identity

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Lady Andrea — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:58:19 EDT

@Schluby: +1 to your daughter. That's the funniest thing I've heard all day.

Lady Andrea

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Dead Wrestlers Society — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:58:01 EDT

Did you also get the matching footed pajama pants?

Dead Wrestlers Society

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Brazil Thrill — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:57:45 EDT

@Lady Andrea: According to a friend of mine, the ladies call it the "love carpet" in Serbia. I'm not even kiddin'.

Brazil Thrill

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:57:35 EDT

I can't wait for the LaSalle NCAA preview from the balls if they somehow win the A-10 tourney. And I'm pretty sure that shirt may have been stolen from Will Smith's closet.

UpstateUnderdog

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:56:51 EDT

Belinsky's list of conquests reads like a who's-who of your grandfather's celebrity crushes.

Carlton_Whitfield

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Big Jim Slade — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:56:39 EDT

@Doyle McPoyle: Of course Philadelphians remember when the Phillies "won" the NL East on the last day of the season: it was the first time in almost two seasons they remembered they had a playoff team.

Fixed

/sniff sniff

Big Jim Slade

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

ArkansasFred — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:56:27 EDT

@Doyle McPoyle: We're Rockies fans all of a sudden?

ArkansasFred

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Matt_T — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:56:01 EDT

Did that shirt come with a free bowl of soup?

And welcome back Balls.

Matt_T

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Evgeni Merkin — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:55:55 EDT

Hey, Mr. Balls, what's wrong with a shoebox full of grass? At least its better than the three month old piece of Cap'n Crunch my daughter pulled out of the couch cracks and cried when I wouldn't eat it. At least you get a free shoebox.

Evgeni Merkin

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Sh!tShow — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:55:46 EDT

In six months I wanna see a picture of that shirt covered in Cheez Whiz and tears.

Sh!tShow

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Slothrop — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:55:07 EDT

@Will Leitch:

wallpaper? Conlin's likeness is going to be tattooed on my chest right next to my shrine to Red Barber.

Slothrop

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:55:03 EDT

And which undeserving player gets the MVP this year? I hope it's So Taguchi.

Doyle McPoyle

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:54:54 EDT

@Will Leitch: So you finally replaced the Water Skiing Zook photo, huh?

Weed Against Speed

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

StupidAngelos — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:54:42 EDT

@Will Leitch: That picture is the wallpaper of my nightmares.

StupidAngelos

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Rob Iracane — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:54:37 EDT

How dare you make Bill Conlin slightly likable! Shame!

Rob Iracane

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:51:00 EDT

Stills from one of Zapruder's earlier films: Family Vacation in Hawaii

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Baseball Season Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:50:52 EDT

Of course Philadelphians remember when the Phillies "won" the NL East on the last day of the season: it was the first time in almost two decades they remembered they had a baseball team.

Doyle McPoyle