Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves - Deadspin Comments

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Wimpkins — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 09:48:43 EDT

So where is the season preview?

Oh, this is deadspin, I forgot it's a comedy blog.

Wimpkins

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Artie Fufkin — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:45:58 EDT

@DennyCrane: Vick is in jail.

Artie Fufkin

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

DennyCrane — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:36:46 EDT

I hope Tom Glavine gets anal SARS.

DennyCrane

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Secret Identity — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:27:35 EDT

It's hard for Atlanta sports fans to care about the Braves when the Hawks and Thrashers so thoroughly dominate the sporting landscape.

Secret Identity

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

FightTiger — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:20:27 EDT

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH!...

Braves Fan, on behalf of the rest of the NL, this self pity and wallowing in misery and doubt is a day 17 years in the making. Eff you, Bravos!!

If only it could now happen to the Cub... Wait. What?

FightTiger

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Chief Wahoo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:35:02 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: I'd get lost.

Chief Wahoo

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Jay Busbee — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:34:35 EDT

@Matt_T: Yeah, but once you're on it, it runs slower than belief, and it's always got one of those "Under Construction" signs on it.

Because, you know, Atlanta's got a bit of a traffic problem.

/hackery

Jay Busbee

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Matt Sussman — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:33:50 EDT

Diesel, I got Kevin Everett by 3¼ furlongs.

Matt Sussman

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

The Diesel — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:33:08 EDT

Sid Bream, Byron Leftwich, or Mangino in a footrace. Who ya got?

The Diesel

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Matt_T — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:31:59 EDT

@Jay Busbee: So, rightdownPeachtree-Dunwoody is still available?

Matt_T

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

UkraineNotWeak — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:27:57 EDT

@Chief Wahoo:

I work on one of them

UkraineNotWeak

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Jay Busbee — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:27:02 EDT

@Chief Wahoo: Indeed. So I've locked up rightdownoldpeachtree.com, rightdownpeachtreecorners.com, rightdownpeachtreebattle.com, and on and on.

Stupid unimaginative forefathers.

Jay Busbee

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Matt Sussman — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:23:05 EDT

"many names on the Tigers roster make us sound like Ricardo Montlebon"

You're talking about Yorman Bazardo, right? Because he's not my man.

Matt Sussman

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Uecker Seats — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:22:53 EDT

Teixeira's a beast. I stole him off the Rangers & built my Milwuakee Brewers championship teams around him as my DH in dynasty mode. Always hits .300+ and good for 40 HR.

What? Don't look at me like that. I know the NL doesn't have the DH. Fuck Selig, I turned it on for both leagues. You know the NL will not catch up to the AL until they implement the DH rule league-wide. Admit it, you'll feel better once you cop to it.

Uecker Seats

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Chief Wahoo — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:22:27 EDT

Aren't there like 20 streets named Peachtree in Atlanta?

Chief Wahoo

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

crazyjoedavola — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:20:15 EDT

@Matt_T: On behalf of Mets fans everywhere... Fuck Glavine right in the ear. Possibly the single most gutless sports performance since Tyson destroyed Spinks

/still bitter
//Johan!!!

crazyjoedavola

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Storming the Floor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:20:11 EDT

"bats that go limp at the worst possible moments"

My wife told me that happens to lots of guys teams. Don't worry about it.

Storming the Floor

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

PenskeMaterial — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:18:10 EDT

Brian McCann is the sweetest-swinging catcher in the game not named Russell Martin

Fixed. And Canadianized.

PenskeMaterial

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Storming the Floor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:15:40 EDT

I knew I'd be seeing you around here, you putz. GO BACK TO ATLANTA!

Oh, you're probably there already.

Storming the Floor

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Matt_T — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:13:58 EDT

What, no kangaroo balls? My tix for the home opener arrived yesterday. And I may have booed Glavine in the past but I'll be cheering this time.

Looking forward to the book, Jay

Matt_T

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

shea_guevara — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:11:07 EDT

@Carlton_Whitfield: +1.

The name definitely has a 100-sided-die ring to it.

shea_guevara

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

UkraineNotWeak — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:10:20 EDT

@Jay Busbee:

Thinking about it.

UkraineNotWeak

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Jews For Purple Jesus — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:09:20 EDT

We've got this strange combination of insecurity and flop sweat

I had no idea Ted Buckland was a Braves fan.

Jews For Purple Jesus

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Carlton_Whitfield — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:08:52 EDT

I think Jair Jurrjens helped Bilbo find the ring.

Carlton_Whitfield

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Jerkwheat vs Gawker IT — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:08:15 EDT

@Suss--: this is one of the reasons I want him back

however, as it currently stands, many names on the Tigers roster make us sound like Ricardo Montlebon. So we got that going for us.

Jerkwheat vs Gawker IT

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Jay Busbee — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:07:37 EDT

@Ukraine: Doing well, sir. Another Pants Party at the Ted this year?

@Summer-of-George: Dammit! I knew I was forgetting something. Go here for the best Hampton joke ever.

Jay Busbee

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

TheStarterWife — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:07:21 EDT

Always bringing up '91 and '92...

Just remember you had Jane Fonda to deal with back then.

TheStarterWife

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

apostles03 — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:07:17 EDT

/Threadjack

Atlanta Braves just signed Ralph Garr.

/ok, not really a Threadjack

apostles03

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:06:26 EDT

@Doyle McPoyle: Or be a Carrington?

Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Al Czerviks Ride — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:05:01 EDT

Prediction: Braves win division, do not win World Series. You know, because these guys are like the Braves of MLB...

Al Czerviks Ride

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

sassydeerrun — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:03:09 EDT

If Tom Glavine acted like he enjoyed what he was doing; instead of having the personality of a wet mop, we might actually give a damn.

sassydeerrun

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

She Blinded Me With Violence — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:03:06 EDT

Braves fans would comment but they don't really care.

She Blinded Me With Violence

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Doyle McPoyle — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:00:38 EDT

I need to be at Glavine's return to Shea.

Doyle McPoyle

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Matt Sussman — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:00:35 EDT

"I want Jair back"

I just want someone on the Tigers that makes us all inherenly sound like the Swedish Chef.

Matt Sussman

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Summer-of-George — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:59:04 EDT

Needs more Mike Hampton jokes.

Summer-of-George

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

shea_guevara — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:56:17 EDT

Rookie Jair Jurrjens is pitching like the second coming of Greg Maddux.

For his teammates' sake, I hope he doesn't piss on guys in the shower like Maddux.

As for Glavine, whatever it is that Patrick Swayze's got, go ahead and get that, ya fuck.

shea_guevara

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

UkraineNotWeak — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:55:40 EDT

Hey Jay!! How are things going?

UkraineNotWeak

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Jerkwheat vs Gawker IT — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:55:06 EDT

I want Jair back

Jerkwheat vs Gawker IT

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

strong like bull smart like tractor — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:53:34 EDT

I'd be more impressed with the alliteration if he wasn't so damned eager to show us where he did it.

strong like bull smart like tractor

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Civil Negligence — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:51:57 EDT

STOP THE CHOP!

Civil Negligence

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Dead Wrestlers Society — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:48:49 EDT

Rookie Jair Jurrjens is pitching like the second coming of Greg Maddux.

Whoa. Easy there big fella.

I will like the Braves as long as Smoltz plays for them. Once he retires, they go back into the scrap heap with the rest of the teams I don't care about.

Dead Wrestlers Society

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

GreatOdensRaven — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:48:05 EDT

So this is what it sounds like when Braves cry.

GreatOdensRaven

Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves

Doyle McPoyle — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 13:47:07 EDT

Don't you have to win more than one World Series to qualify as a dynasty?

Doyle McPoyle