McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0 - Deadspin Comments

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

wherewallaceat — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:14:45 EDT

aka forgetful pills

wherewallaceat

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

HorseLips12 — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:06:14 EDT

I beleive the NFL Network ticker said :
"BRONCOS WR BRANDON MARSHALL INJURED BY ENTERTAINMENT CENTER WHILE WRESTLING WITH FAMILY MEMBERS"

HorseLips12

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

MikeHass — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:05:44 EDT

@Bob Loblaw:
I think Kaz slipped and fell on Fusili Matt Holliday.

MikeHass

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Dinger The Dinosaur — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:44:28 EDT

Between this, the headline about teams here loosing money, the fact that the Nuggets are only good against crappy teams, and now the Rockies trying less subtle ways to rape us after their world series run, I'd say Its a GREAT time to be a Denver sports fan!

Dinger The Dinosaur

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Wyshynski — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:44:27 EDT

Eh, throw a hot apple pie on it, and it'll be good as new.

Wyshynski

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

J.L. White — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:32:15 EDT

Actually, Marshall just needed stitches after he slipped, but at the hospital he got Super-sized into an arm cast.

J.L. White

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

HIV 2 Elway — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:31:18 EDT

@Chief Wahoo: Couldn't agree with you more.

HIV 2 Elway

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

The Fan’s Attic — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:30:43 EDT

@Chamomiles Davis: yes, see @UkraineNotWeak:

The Fan’s Attic

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

iantenna — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:20:45 EDT

the last time we tripped on a bag it was a lot cooler than this.

/gonzaga basketball team

iantenna

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

The Sports Hernia — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:18:06 EDT

@phillas: I bet George would do a better version of that.

The Sports Hernia

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Bearcat44 — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:16:20 EDT

Flopped like the Arch Deluxe (or Greg Paulus).

/2nd Arch Deluxe reference in 24 hours; not good

Bearcat44

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Nacho Friendly — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:13:22 EDT

Off the entertainment center. Nothing but glass.

/Larry Bird

Nacho Friendly

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Bluenatic — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:11:31 EDT

In other news, Jokey Smurf has finally exhausted his supply of yellow boxes and red ribbons.

Bluenatic

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

metroville — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:09:53 EDT

This is racial profiling. Everybody blames the Irish.

metroville

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Raskolnikov — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:03:52 EDT

Thanks for reaffirming what Morgan Spurlock blabbered on about for 90 minutes, Brandon.

Raskolnikov

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

A Pimp Named DaveR — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:01:51 EDT

This year he'll be wearing "HE ATE ME" instead of his name on his jersey.

A Pimp Named DaveR

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

phillas — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:00:34 EDT

this post is making me hungry

phillas

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Jefferson Short Bus — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:59:47 EDT

A moment on the lips, four weeks in a sling.

Jefferson Short Bus

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Bob Loblaw — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:57:38 EDT

I'm surprised Kaz Matsui didn't use this excuse to explain away his anal fissures.

Bob Loblaw

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

MDT — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:57:08 EDT

CAUTION: COFFEE MAY BE HOT, PAPER BAG MAY BE SLIPPERY, VOICES IN YOUR HEAD PROBABLY NOT TELLING YOU TO KILL

MDT

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Jews For Purple Jesus — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:56:31 EDT

I once slipped on a bag, entering a Wendy.

/shows self out

Jews For Purple Jesus

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Chuck Knoblockhead — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:56:15 EDT

The cast is a result of the fall, but those stitches come courtesy of Captain Crook.

Chuck Knoblockhead

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Chamomiles Davis — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:55:32 EDT

Seriously, that's fucking terrible. Is the entertainment center OK?

Chamomiles Davis

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Ray — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:55:31 EDT

Brandon Marshall: Questionable (taste in fast food)

Ray

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

thetaxman — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:55:15 EDT

I guess Hakeem was forced to thrash him.

thetaxman

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah! — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:54:32 EDT

Filet O'Fishes get stitches.

...I'll show myself out.

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Matt Sussman — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:53:27 EDT

If only they still had Elam to kick the PAT, this headline could go to overtime.

Matt Sussman

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Chamomiles Davis — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:53:18 EDT

@The Fan's Attic: Did he once get busy in a Burger King bathroom?

Chamomiles Davis

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Chamomiles Davis — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:52:54 EDT

Bah-da-bah-bah-bahhh
I'm breakin' shit

Chamomiles Davis

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

sarah — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:52:36 EDT

@LeagueofShadows: "No one likes to see weepy meat."

sarah

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

The Fan’s Attic — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:52:23 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: Things could have been worse, he could have gone to Jack in the Box and contracted E. Coli.

On second thought, he knows what he could have caught in the BK bathroom.

The Fan’s Attic

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

I Shot the Sherrill, But I Did Not Shoot the Deputy — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:51:52 EDT

Sounds like Marshall's a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

I Shot the Sherrill, But I Did Not Shoot the Deputy

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Storming the Floor — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:51:01 EDT

You go all the way to Orlando to find a McDonalds that's serving the McRib, and look what happens.

Storming the Floor

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Mmole — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:50:17 EDT

I once slipped on a Sonic bag and ended up hilt deep in Mrs. Redfern's fundament.

Mmole

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

LeagueofShadows — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:50:12 EDT

Ronald McDonald was seen later taunting the Burger King.

LeagueofShadows

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Gourmet Spud — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:49:59 EDT

@Gourmet Spud:

*tuberosity.

I failed anatamatology.

Gourmet Spud

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

OchentaYcinco — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:49:51 EDT

Taco Bell has hurt me worse than McDonald's ever could.

OchentaYcinco

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Camp Tiger Claw — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:49:48 EDT

I'm into sutures, y'all.
I'm into sutures, y'all.

Camp Tiger Claw

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

apostles03 — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:49:38 EDT

♫ everybody slice your arm
clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap

apostles03

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

LeagueofShadows — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:49:11 EDT

@Gourmet Spud: +1

LeagueofShadows

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

VTBen — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:49:08 EDT

Bill Grammatica understands this guy's pain.

VTBen

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Sucko-T — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:49:03 EDT

Have a nice trip, see you next fall.

Sucko-T

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Al Czerviks Ride — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:48:32 EDT

To be fair, McDonalds is regarded as high end cuisine in Orlando.

Al Czerviks Ride

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Gourmet Spud — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:48:20 EDT

"Big Mac, McDLT, cracked ulbar tunerosity..."

Gourmet Spud

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Philistine — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:46:46 EDT

In other news, Patriots receiver Randy Moss injured his arm when he slipped on a dime bag. Like Marshall, Moss was also unable to remember the number of stitches in his arm, though he commented through a spokesperson that they were "really the shizzle, homie".

Philistine

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah! — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:45:27 EDT

Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, fifteen stitches on a sesame seed bun.

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Al Czerviks Ride — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:43:52 EDT

@ClueHeywood: Just goes along with the rest of the trash he sends onto the field year after year...

Al Czerviks Ride

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

GreatOdensRaven — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:43:48 EDT

Still more believeable than when John Amaechi hurt himself in the ball pit.

GreatOdensRaven

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

UkraineNotWeak — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:43:33 EDT

If he'd gone to Burger King, he could've gotten busy in the restroom. His mistake.

UkraineNotWeak

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Stev D — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:43:32 EDT

The hot side stay hot, the cool side stays cool and HOLY GOD MY ARM! DIAL 911!

Stev D

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Camp Tiger Claw — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:42:56 EDT

Hospitalize Me

Camp Tiger Claw

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

The Sports Hernia — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:42:54 EDT

I remember that time Roy Tarpley accidentally slipped on on a bag of Funyons and found his face entrenched in a pricey pile of coke.

The Sports Hernia

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

ASox — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:42:27 EDT

Sure he slipped on a McDonald's bag, but he left out the part about snorting an 8-ball and drinking 17 beers before-hand.

ASox

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

ClueHeywood — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:42:24 EDT

Seeking to bolster the Lions' abysmal pass defense, Matt Millen immediately signed the bag to a 3 year, $18 mil deal.

ClueHeywood

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

shea_guevara — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:42:22 EDT

He's actually pretty lucky, considering what a McDonalds meal can do to your body.

shea_guevara

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Chief Wahoo — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:42:12 EDT

I would have gone with the "thought I heard the Hamburglar breaking in" excuse.

Chief Wahoo

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

MattinglysSideburns — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:42:09 EDT

Come on. This can't be real. Somebody's McRibbing me.

MattinglysSideburns

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Gourmet Spud — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:42:06 EDT

After this, his fantasy stock value is going to take a quarter-pounding.

Gourmet Spud

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Babcocksure — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:41:45 EDT

he was obviously just lunging at his girlfriend for a slap. its all the rage these days

Babcocksure

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Weed Against Speed — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:41:18 EDT

So, did that McDonald's bag cut-block him?

Weed Against Speed

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Chief Wahoo — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:41:00 EDT

Shoulda been you, Elway.

Chief Wahoo

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Gourmet Spud — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:40:39 EDT

"...arm went through a TV entertainment center..."

Ouch. That story made me Grimace.

Gourmet Spud

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

Deadspin — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:40:15 EDT

Even when he's retired, Warren Sapp still impacts the NFL.

Deadspin

McDonald's Bag 1, Denver Broncos 0

McCroskey — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:39:56 EDT

Mayor McCheese has ordered a full investigation. To go.

McCroskey