<![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS! - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS! - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> In the year 2000 the NFL will have RADAR!

Players will travel to work and play in huge hollowed out loaves of bread.

blastitbiggs

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> Levy was only 93 when he made those comments. He's much older and wiser now.

StuScott Booyahs

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> wonk wonk wonk > deux deux deux

ky-jellydonuts

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> Quoth the prophet Donzis:

"The wrong people-like athletes-are getting all the ink now, but the media are going to start to praise the innovator. Wait. We're about to enter the most exciting educational period in history."

So... how's that working out for all of your inventors out there? Making about as much as Tommy KellY?

L

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> In the year 2000, there won't be any contact below the waist

That is a world I don't want to live in.

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> @Jews For Purple Jesus: But Cedric Wilson's significant other will be playing in the CFL

izzone

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> ...and we all know how Dan Pastorini's career took off once he started wearing Mr. Donzis' flack jacket- wait, what?

thefuseproject

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> The scariest prediction is Tom Flores saying that Al Davis would become commish.

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> 1.21 gigawatts?!

Laser Guided

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> "In the year 2000, there won't be any contact below the waist." -Bum Phillips

"Damn you Bum Phillips, take that thing off Martha." -Byron Donzis

AkAggie

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> Unfortunately I listened to Byron Donzis and converted all my AOL stock into Compuserve in 1985.

Chief Wahoo

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> @Dan Daoust: Yes, and you see what that has done for their popularity. Rouge, anyone?

ImAManImForty

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> "In the year 2000, Will will occasionally forget to close his italics tags."

Um... I'll show myself out now.....

A Pimp Named DaveR

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> "In the year 2000 Trent Dilfer will lead a team to the following January's Super Bowl and win." - Byron Donzis

What a fucking loon this guy was.

LesMilesIsAMouthyDouche

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> Three words: Buy Bear Stearns.

Dan Daoust

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> "The 25-yard end zone is the single greatest thing that could change the game. The whole concept of goal-line defenses would change with that."

Isn't that pretty much what the CFL has right now?

Dan Daoust

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> I like the envision Frank Deford screeching "In the Year Two-thousAAAAAND!!!!" before every prediction, while holding a flashlight underneath his face.

J.L. White

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> "The NFLPA will become the most powerful of all sports unions. Given that football players' careers are much shorter and infinitely riskier than their baseball counterparts, it would take a complete failure of leadership for this not to happen.

Also, go with BetaMax. It's the superior technology."

- John Mackey, former union head

Gourmet Spud

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> In the Year 2000 Conan O'Brien will be given a chance to play for the New York Jets and will prove to have a better arm than Chad Pennington.

Chuck Knoblockhead

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> Bears fans will still remember the 1985 fondly despite it being 15 years after their Super Bowl title which is six years away from happening.

Sandburgh

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> "Also, Morten Andersen will finally retire."

Matt Sussman

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> "We'll see medicine that will be supportive of body functions. I'm visualizing drugs that will allow a player--a receiver, say--to jump two or three feet higher than he does now. Or we'll put a strong enough PED in a quarterback's buttocks so he can pass 150 yards, which will be important, because the field will have to be that large by then." --More Byron Donzis

Performance Enhanced.

The Fan’s Attic

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> Rex Grossman can throw 150 yards without devices, damnit.

MitchKayak

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> What a bunch of idiots. Robots are built to promote football, not coach it.

Ray

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> By the third sentence all text will be aerodynamic.

Matt Sussman

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> I'm visualizing devices that will allow a player--a receiver, say--to jump two or three feet higher than he does now.

Randy Moss don't need dat shit.

Shakεy

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> did anybody see the sf chronicle giants/a's preview this weekend? they had a fucking article like this that was even more dumb, because it was just ray ratto speculating on the next 40 years of baseball. i think he was trying to be funny but it was hard to tell.

"2044: In a cost-cutting move, the Giants and A's vote in favor of the owners' new proposal to go to a Strat-O-Matic dice league. After discovering that the Yankees and Red Sox have spent enough money to control most of the world's supply of 6-, 8-, 10- and 12-sided dice, the owners vote to go back to humans."

[www.sfgate.com]

iantenna

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> Byron had a clouded, Nostradamus like vision. When he saw into the future, he saw the game as played on TV. He just didn't know he was watching NFL Blitz.

Rusty Cajun Ron

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> Oh I see, James Harrison was just preparing his girlfriend to play QB.

Jews For Purple Jesus

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> "by the year 2000 the world will have pain-free mcdonalds bags" byron donzis

asliceofbacon

]]> <![CDATA[In The Future, All Kickers Will Have JETPACKS!]]> "wonk, wonk, wonk"

Is that the sound a four-legged turkey makes?

Wilf

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