<![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> I don't know if this has been posted yet, but here are some pics of Heidi Northcott:
[images.starpulse.com]

[images.starpulse.com]


XbhaskarX

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> Brilliant, Pat. You're one of my favorites.

icanthelpitimfromboston

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> when life gets me down I just picture jose performing an aerial assault of jump-kicks. try it...you'll never need prozac again, promise.

jar66su

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> "A False Spring" was my "On the Road" when I was young baseball fanatic. My civic pride was elevated when Winnipeg was referred to the community in the Northern League with the best women.

HappyFeltonsGloryHole

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> Having read this and A False Spring, Jose is not the only pathetic, washed-up loser.

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> Excellent, excellent article, Pat.

chilltown

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> If Pat Jordan would just resort to a little debauchery ala controlled substances, binge drinking, ect.... I think he would be a great replacement for Hunter S. Thompson as sports editor at Rolling Stone....great rant Pat...Canseco was a piece of shit is a piece of shit and always will be one...possibly he could retire to Cuba and live on their wonderful welfare program and 10 dollar hookers...I'm sure Raul & Fidel would welcome him...

YaleBloor

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> I would be more apt to buy a book that included more funny stories about finding Jose than I am to buy Vindicated. Also this article was just referenced on ESPN radio, neat!

Drunk typing is hard, goodnight.

Sex Fabregas

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> And just cause I love you all... one last parting shot..

Brief Jerky:
[www.etsy.com]

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Fawn Liebowitz: *sigh* i like it, it's pretty, and i wish everyone could have a star. or at least different symbols, like care bears.

alright lovelies, i'm following the masses and hitting the sack as well. i'm nice and relaxed and ready to just drift off to sleep... sounds divine.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Fawn Liebowitz: Apparently, he would have no problem.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: Neither would I if Jose was in my vicinity

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Fawn Liebowitz: Now I won't be able to sleep.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> night all. sleepytime for me after I finish my booze.

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> Plus, at this late hour, if anyone cares

I would totally do Jose Canseco--no questions axed

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> Well peeps and peepettes, it's bedtime.

Goodnight DUAN.
Goodnight Moon.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I loved the star--of course you are special--which is lovely--and it seems like you have taken some shit for it--so I say--who gives a shit what anyone says--its yours, you own it and there it is--

Sweet!

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Athletic Supporter v0.42beta: Make sure you smoke a cigarette afterwords to really get that mucus out.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Fawn Liebowitz: Yup. Definitely guy. Oops.

Even when he is wearing a gas mask?


+ Watch video

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: @Fawn Liebowitz: The best part is inhaling the hot whiskey fumes... they make my lungs slightly convulse, which seems healthy.

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: You must be a guy because I meant he is so hot--even now

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Fawn Liebowitz: the animated star? google. the star next to my name? honestly? no idea. i noticed it on jezebel this morning- like 8 of us got 'em today. we originally thought it was # of comments or followers or something, but andrea mentioned earlier that rob has star power over in these parts, just refuses to hand them out. i don't know if jez has a system for giving them out or not, but we have quite a few over yonder. no idea what the criteria is though, and no one seems to want to elaborate.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> I'm starting to fade, everyone. It's always a pleasure, DU!AN, we'll do this again soon.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Athletic Supporter v0.42beta: GREAT for colds.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Athletic Supporter v0.42beta: I will so take that to go, even wifout a cold--my 8th grade drink of choice

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Fawn Liebowitz: I know. I thoroughly enjoy everything he does. It's unique and original and unscripted. The man has a set of pipes unrivaled by anyone in music or just in general; and a whirlwind mind to match. Stellar.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> Snap poll: Hot Whiskey and Orange Juice. Good for colds, or GREAT for colds.

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Mike Patton? God he is the shit

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: So how did you get the star? Details please

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): Amen. I'll drink to that.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Whoaaaa spacy.

I'm listening to Mr. Bungle. I'm perfectly tripped out now.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Just click here... enjoy

[www.findmidis.com]

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): booze and caffeine. my 2 drugs of choice. (booze when i can be drunk, caffeine when i should be sober- i can get a kickin' buzz of it)

@Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: it's pulsing in beat with the music i have on. way trippy.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: I'm young enough so I know I can, but I also know I shouldn't. Alcohol is fine for me these days.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: Oh ok. Good deal.

@TattooedMess(iah): Yeah. I can't handle that shit anymore (any of it.)

@Athletic Supporter v0.42beta: DO IT.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> Yo, AS version 4.2 whatever--you there?

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: I can embed a mp3 of Relax by Frankie Goes to Hollywood if your looking for a hyptonitizing experience.

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: if we cant be animated, wnats the effing point? and I know I'm worth it, but so are you!

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: I only have experience with one of those, but from what I hear about the other one it's a good descriptor.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Collector's edition. Heh. No, I have the New American Standard translation, which just has a lot of footnotes and is perhaps the most literal translation in the language.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Actually, this is starting to grow on me. It's mesmerizing, actually... peaceful. I think I might bookmark this page.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Fawn Liebowitz: thanks : ) and you deserve a star! a very animated one, as it turns out... (i just thought it was fancy. i didn't even know it moved! but, you're worth it.)

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: Wait, did you write the bible? The footnotes? Or do you have like, the collector's edition? (Man, I sound ignant.)

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): That's how I feel about LSD and Cocaine.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I kinda like it.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: you are adorable, btw

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Most people don't even know that many exist. My Bible is filled with footnotes 'cause I'm a geek like that.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Yeesh... can't wait to scroll through this after every F5.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: One results in a cut throat, the other results in broken noses and bloody knuckles, right?

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: (not literally, quoting Max Bialystock from "The Producers"):

Who do I have to fuck to get a star in this town?

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: What'd you say? I couldn't hear you over that STAR!

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: wow. sorry guys. i had no idea it moved. that's hella annoying.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: There's so many to choose from! My, this will take a while...

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Fawn Liebowitz:

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): Jagermeister, Goldschlager... they're both fine italian liquors. Same difference.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: That's Nunsense.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Well, if you make the Cleavers dysfunctional, then the Jacksons would have to be ___________

I'm leaving this open for you guys.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: [www.biiible.com] If you're curious, you can compare translations.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Now there's one for the "What could have been" file.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: @Token_Tennis_Fan: something most people don't know about me: i took seminary classes in the summer and almost went into ministry. who knew, right?

@JB*: "looking at" they're amazing. wearing? whole 'nother story. the things we do for beauty...

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> I want a star!

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Yeah, but we're not breathing.

@TattooedMess(iah): Unfortunately, most of those people are prominent in society.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: everyone knows that jesus made nonalcoholic wine. jeez.(us?)

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: I can't tell the difference between them. I tried reading the whole thing cover-to-cover sometime after my first communion, and gave up around Exodus when I realized there were no pictures.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Okay, yeah - I am speaking strictly from a "looking at" perspective.

JB*

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Bravo. I tried to get my mom to drink Jager with me this week but she refused because she didn't know the difference between Jager and Goldschlager. I've educated her, but she still won't budge. Did I mention she's blonde?

@Token_Tennis_Fan: @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: His belief is more out of stubborn denial. I was born and raised Christian and got introduced to the Catholic faith after my parents divorced when I was 8. I know plenty of people who give religion a bad name.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @JB*: corsets suck. you can barely breathe or sit in them. though they give you a kickin' figure.

@Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: we make the cleavers look dysfunctional.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Your last name isn't Partridge by chance, is it?

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Uh, yeah... totally. I think those people are generally the ones that think the King James translation is the best one for no apparent reason, despite all the evidence that it's a crappy version.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> Corsets are cool.

And I do not drink with my parents. My mother cannot handle more than two bourbons, and my father starts hitting on any woman in the area.

JB*

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: *shrugs* a few times? drunk frat boys fight over everything.

@Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: at my sis's graduation party her best friend will kept feeding my mom jager bombs. she then ended up dancing on tables. then again, this happens sober at family dinners as well (my family seriously rocks- a good song comes on the radio, both my parents are standing on their chairs, my mom dancing, my dad playing air guitar), so yeah.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: I concur. I think they assume that Jesus, while at Cana, siphoned off some of the water he later turned into wine and drank that while the Apostles got smashed. The guy was a big hit at weddings.

Kinda reminds me of the guy who brings the free weed, won't smoke it, but still plays video games with you.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): I think you need to meet a few more. There's a lot of dumb ones out there.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): Best drinking story ever = My mom yakking all over a bowling alley after shots of goldschlager, in 1997. I was there. Just downright hilarious. My dad had to lead her into the bathroom and hold her hair back. So cute.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Shit, my mom does that sober. I can only wish she drunk dialed me. Hell, I wish anyone drunk dialed me.*

*Anyone = Not a girl with a face for radio who consistently says "I wish you were here right now, I'd f..."

(Seriously, I get that call once a week. I don't even pick up anymore.)

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: That's probably for the best. My mom is still shocked I can handle myself while she's getting loopy. My answer is "Um, I went to high school and I'm in college. I've had a few before".

My dad doesn't drink, nor does he believe anyone should. He might be the only born again Christian who won't acknowledge that Jesus drank wine.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: Way to be. My dad and I are very much alike, which is bad. I inherited his sense of humor, which... as evident here on DUAN... is downright disgraceful.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: First of how many?

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: we drink with our parents all the time. we get our chatty drunkness from my mom. it's so obvious when she drunk dials, because she's always really chipper and giggly and talks about nothing for the longest time.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Honestly, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard that...

Wasn't there once upon a time when being a man meant not calling the next day? Sheesh

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Halfrican: i never once cheated on him, but i did end up dating or friends with benefiting a good chunk of that friend circle at some point over the next 4 years. so he thinks i'm a slut. which, yeah, is true to an extent. especially since he's super southern baptist.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Perhaps, but I never really thought about myself in terms of him (except for resolving not to let my temper get to me like he does). Our differences probably have to do more with the fact I'm of a spiritual nature while he was not.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): I drink with both my parents. My dad and mom though get quite emotional when they are drunk, not in the crying or angry sense, but always in the "I'm so happy we're all here together" sense, followed by abnormal amounts of hugging. It's embarrassing. I try to cut them off before they get to that point.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: We dated off and on through senior year of high school/freshman year of college. he didn't like the person i was becoming (independent) at college, and is completely pretentious. one of the times we broke up he dated my best friend, so the next time we broke up i dated his best friend and also his brother. it was the first time i've ever seen 2 boys get into a fist fight because of me. we used to try to be friends, but any time i'd start talking to him again he'd bring up old memories and try to start dating again, then get pissed off when i'd call him on it, and send me emails like the one above.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> The only thing my dad and I have in common is a last name and some chromosomes. My mom and I have always been more similar and get along better with every passing year. Hell, we drink together when I'm home on breaks now.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @JB*: I have a few that would give it a run... but as a personal preference... a volcano probably wins.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I gotta ask. Did you cheat on him? The excerpt suggests that he thinks you did, at least.
Also, "I hear the drunken snickers" is awesome and gives your post the coveted FireJoeMorgan.com "Food Metaphor" label.
Seriously, though, you are well to be rid of him and his turgid writing and general absurdity.

Halfrican

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: Oh, yeah... there's that. Maybe you learned from him? (Somehow?)

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: One would have to have something like "The Acropolis" or "Vatican City" to top that.

JB*

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Yeah, I have to concur. Volcano. Fuck.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: See, he partied himself out of college. I don't drink. He was married. I'm single. And so on.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: What's the backstory with this one?

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Rejected lover theater might be one of the best things to ever happen here. If only I had saved those drunked myspace and facebook messages I've received.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Can the Cubs mend his broken heart?

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: You must be quite evil to warrant him to send you an email every six months just to remind you of how evil you are.

What a jag

JB*

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: no one can beat it. at least not as of yet.

@TattooedMess(iah): not in the least bit. we just sit at home and cook and clean and get you cold beers.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: Ha! Found one. From Fall '06. (We stopped dating in early '04)

"If there's one thing that I regret, it was dating you. Fortunately for you I was too young and naive to know any better. To top things off even more, I was even nice to you. If I knew back then what I know now, I wouldn't have given you the time of day. I hear the drunken snickers, I've read between the lines. I was right the whole time. It's not that I am so angry because of resentment. Think of it as me being pissed at myself, a regret for being to nice. So for closure I must send you this message to show my true hatred.

You're that little fish that I caught and should have thrown back.

You're in Hawaii right now, which doesn't seem to be much of a secret. You should just stay there."

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: Yeah, my parents were 25 and 23 also. Wide window. It's the best. I love my parents. My dad also had a kid when he was my age (oh yeah, me.) But, still... similar personality wise.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> Ok, I'm off to sleep for 4 hours with images of ex girlfriends and cops with tasers dancing through my dreams.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): I remember a story involving an apple.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: No woman is completely innocent. You're all to blame for most of the problems in the world, at least by proxy of making men do stupid things.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Ahhh yes, the victory lap. (The period when you are home before your next great adventure in life and you know you've finally realized you are getting somewhere in life.)

I am currently in the midst of mine, but not at home.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: WINNER!!

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: volcano.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: +1 + +1. Great move on passing off the phone, and yes, good girls have some issues with that, but not all.

Ladies...

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: nope, just nice and waxy

@Token_Tennis_Fan: I'm looking to see if I can find one. They're absurd.

@TattooedMess(iah): I'm completely innocent.

@Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: I guess we got really close when I lived in Hawai'i, but my whole family has always had a really good relationship. I actually really liked living at home this summer/fall. It was nice to get spend a lot of time with the folks after being gone for so long.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: My parents were 20 and 19 when I was born... I think that window is open a bit wider for them.

But actually, yeah, we couldn't be much more different at this point in our lives. At my age, my father had two children and a full-time job.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: I think it is because (and stop me if I am wrong here), there is a brief window when both you and your parents are in the same boat. When your parents are still young enough to be cool, and you're old enough to appreciate that at one point in their lives, they weren't that much different than you. And you bond for a few years... then they start telling you to get off their lawn.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Yea, that story didnt have so much hilarity...but after that took place she'd call me every so often the next school year, I'd just pass the phone off to my female neighbors...that was pretty fun for me.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: The good girls may be a freak in the bed, but not always in the car, the kitchen, the bathroom at the party your at, the hallway between her parent's and nephew's bedroom, etc.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Brazil Thrill: No.*

*yet to be determined, as an interesting encounter looms large ahead

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: I imagine a lot of people feel that way.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Anybody got a thesaurus?

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Brazil Thrill: Not I, Mr. Never Goes To Bed When He Says So.

Of course, the last ex I had sex with will never talk to me again after I hooked up with another girl in front of her.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Brazil Thrill: Nope

JB*

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: That's so fantastic. I've found being halfway across the country from my parents has helped me ironically become closer with them.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Scented?

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I've seen it and I believe it. Boy does she have her parents fooled. Southern gals aren't ever as innocent as they'd have you believe.

@The Boy Wonder: Sometimes I wish it weren't so. Also, after these recent stories, I feel like I know you...

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: I went back and read it, but was dissapointed there was no hilarity.

That seems to be an extreme case of ex-sex. I was going extra-curricular with mine for a while as a slump-busting technique, before she got angry and stormed off one night, never to be heard from again. I got over it quickly. Thanks hand!

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: from sc to colorado. pretty decent trip. but, she loves me and misses me. and i love her and miss her. she's one of the few people in the world that 100% understands me. it's impossible for me to lie to her, because she just knows.

@The Boy Wonder: i was talking about in general- there's a big candle on my nightstand that gives off the most magnificently relaxing light. it just makes everything warmer.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Still? Can you print one here? Any like this? [youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com]

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: And who among us, besides Token_Tennis_Fan, would turn down a good-looking ex ready to jump your bones?

OK, now I'm gone.

Brazil Thrill

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Dated crazy girl, broke up, had lots of sex, she cuts herself, I call cops, hilarity ensues.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: Can I get the cliff notes please?

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: That's fantastic. How far does she have to travel?

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Brazil Thrill: I absolutely knew it was a terrible idea. And each day was a worse idea than the day before...but you're totally right. The kicker is, I went back and fixed the door jam I broke.

@TattooedMess(iah): You are more right than you know.

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.:Depends who you're with...could just be another permanent scar waiting to happen.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Brazil Thrill: (raises hand)

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): don't let the good girls fool you. the 'lady in the street but a freak in the bed' thing? yeah.

i don't think i've dated a crazy boy. oh, my high school ex. every 6 months or so he sends me an email telling me what a horrible selfish person i am and how he can't wait for me to realize how terrible i am and he's done talking to me ever again.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: My mom was so happy for me to break up with her, she offered to give me a ride from the girls dorm, so I wouldnt be stranded. After I ended it, I sprinted down 5 flights of stairs (with the echoes of her sobs chasing after me) and across campus to the predetermined rendezvous. It was like a jail break.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): Later, please

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> apropos of nothing, candlelight is always a good thing.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: The terror is what draws me to them. That and the amazingly freaky sex. Dear God, I love them...but that's a subject that is too oft covered around these parts.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: Woah, and I thought I dated crazy. You handled that about as well as you could though, except for the sex part. And who among us would turn down a good-looking ex ready to jump your bones?

Brazil Thrill

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: my bro hangs out with most all my friends. now it's not a big deal, but when he first came to visit there was an unspoken rule that i was allowed to lie during the drinking games you mentioned, specially since all my friends knew the truth anyways.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: My sister and I went to the same college and merged our circles...getting stuck playing kings with her may have been one of my least favorite memories...especially if a never have I ever, or a questions card came up.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: Ah, men's magazines. Will they ever be right?

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: um. wow. yeah. i think you win for craziest ex. usually i unleash my crazy on the dude, never on myself. i'm way too selfish for that (reason 34595 i'm single).

@Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: mama 'roo is coming to visit me in a month! i def won the family lottery.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): I just read an article in a men's mag the other day while at the barber shop that basically said that we're all terrified of the crazy girl, but deep down we always miss them when they're gone.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: Wow.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: @Token_Tennis_Fan: Hehe. I have no idea if it's even remotely newsworthy, but I'll submit it as a tip anyway. Gives me an excuse to use the brand new tips tool.

And now I'm seriously gone. Nite all.

Brazil Thrill

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Fawn Liebowitz: Thank you, and you as well. Sorry I wasn't around on our drinking Sunday, but I did have quite a few in your/our honor.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: Welcome to the crazy ex club. We don't have jackets but you get a stack of ready to be filed restraining orders and a concealable 9mm.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): all 4 of us are a total of 7 years apart. fun times always ensue when we're together. i don't know what i'd do without them.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: +1 to your mom.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> TatMess--Happy Birthday--belated
!


Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: It was a long distance relationship with me in Boston, and her going to Maryland. I broke up with this girl around Easter, but had already committed to house sitting for her parents in late May. When I tried to get out of it, her mom said that this girl couldn't do it because she'd be busy with exams and never there. I needed the money, and was going home anyways, so I relented. This girl was there EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT...and apparently she took the break up pretty tough and lost about 15lbs and looked great. We ended up having sex every night (and every day on the way up I kept reinforcing how bad of an idea it was).

One day I come up there and she is wearing long sleeves, and flinches when I touch her arm...turns out that she had sliced up both arms (the cry for help kind). Of course the next afternoon I think with the wrong head and we have sex again. Only this time she starts getting rather weird, so I remove her. She locks herself in the bathroom and I hear muffled grunts of pain. I kick in the door, rip the piece of glass out of her hand and gave her 3 options. I'd call the cops, call her older sister, or call her mom. I'd let her choose, but I was calling one of those three.

She didnt choose, so I called the cops. I then had to chase her around the house with 911 on the phone keeping her inside and away from knives. Cops finally show up, I keep her from locking herself in her room, they almost taze her and ultimately take her to the hospital. I follow after half expecting to give a statement, half expecting to get accused of rape. They release her the next day, and I bring her to the airport so she can fly down to stay with her sister.

Long story short: ex sex = bad idea

/Holy shit its a shorter story when utilizing the spoken word

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Moments like those might be the only reason I'd like to have sibs. Being an only is pretty sweet though.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Brazil Thrill: Man, I was looking for the Japanese joke and couldn't come up with it. Well done.

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Brazil Thrill: Custard for the lady!!!

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): ha! not as awkward as when the littlest bro asked jj to buy him condoms after jj walked in on him and his gf. or as awkward as my sister (who was convinced my parents thought she was a virgin despite having dated a man 6 years older than her for 4 year) telling my mom that she was saving her ring finger for marriage, to which my mom responded "guess it's the only thing you're saving then"

yeah... good times.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: I wonder if Vince Carter thumped that plum tush.

@Token_Tennis_Fan: The Japanese national basketball team can shoot from different angles simultaneously.

Brazil Thrill

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: he was a total deadbeat, still probably is, but he was in a band and had a pretty tattoo and an even prettier motorcycle. i think, honestly, the main reason he got married is because all his friends were. i wouldn't put it past him at all.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: That's fucking funny. I'm just glad I'm not the one with the picture of your brother having sex stuck in my head.

/upping the awkwardness

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: central Florida? If you need someone to wreak havoc, you know who to ask. Just sayin'...

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): really awkward? your baby bro being in the fraternity that you hung out with all the time. when I was in hawaii apparently they told him my sketchy/slightly slutty past. the conversation when he called drunkenly after finding out i wasn't a virgin:
Bro: (slurring) Katie. There's something I have to ask you.
Me: What JJ?
Bro: ... Have you had sex?
Me: Yes, JJ.
Bro: OK, cause I have to. And it's AWESOME.
Me: Alright, JJ. Go drink some water and go to bed.

Awk.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Knowing that you dodged a bullet is a tremendous feeling...it just makes you want to pat yourself on the back with a satisfied smile. Knowing you made a mistake however, will haunt you for quite a while (as it seems for me)

@Dr. Michael Mancini: I almost wouldn't put it past her, and now she lives in central florida...I feel like its right in her wheelhouse.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Brazil Thrill: At least they held back with "shoot."

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Brazil Thrill: Bukakke party in Jersey? Sounds like the work of Mr. Smokey Tornado himself...

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Brazil Thrill: On ESPN.com, I might add.

Brazil Thrill

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> I was just checking the NBA scores before going to bed and found this recap title for the Indiana - New Jersey game:

"Harris, Nets pour it on Pacers from several angles."

Uhhhh... what?

Brazil Thrill

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: ha! yes.

@The Boy Wonder: um, story?

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: Were you in a coma for that week?

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): I just snowboard. I tried skiing when I was younger and it just didnt interest me. I would love to get good enough to legitimize trips like that, but on the east coast, our mountains just arent that great.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: Heres to awkwardness. I've dated and "dated" my way into and out of a few social circles.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: every so often she'll IM me and say that she should have had me talk her current husband out of it...

When are you going to be a guest questioner on The Moment of Truth?

Dr. Michael Mancini

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: this ex broke up with me because he didn't like that i had so many guy friends, and 2 weeks later started dating his best friend who's a girl that i not once gave him shit about. but yeah, it's always awkward when we run into each other, because he def still drunk dials/IM's me. his wife HATES me. and it's not like i try anything or encourage it. i def dodged a bullet with him.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: ex sex led to a 911 call for me...I learned my lesson REAL quick. Well, not REAL quick, it took a week to get to that point.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Like when he made you sing the theme to "Fame" while in bed?

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Drunk dials from a married ex sounds like so much fun. I dated a crazy girl who got married about 2 years after we broke up, every so often she'll IM me and say that she should have had me talk her current husband out of it...thats always fun. My big problem is I tend to go after mutual friends, so there is just a lot of potential for future awkwardness.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: Do you just snowboard or do you ski also? My mom's boyfriend just got back from heli-skiing in British Columbia. That was his 4th ski trip this season. 3rd country, 2nd continent. Must be nice to have that kinda money.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> And with that bit of wisdom, I'm out.

Peter Cavan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Token_Tennis_Fan: well, it'd make certain parts of our relationship make a lot more sense, and he'd get kicked out of the air force. i get closure, his life gets ruined. win-win for me, really. (this is not one of those, "I just want him to be happy" type exs).

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> My ex-wife took me out for a big steak dinner last night in return for the two times I had to reinstall Windows on her old Dell laptop. We get along much better now that we've been divorced for two years. So it can happen. But it's rare.

Peter Cavan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): Yeah, don't get horizontal. Ex-sex always seems like a good idea at the time, but really it just unleashes a whole lotta crazy.

@Lupicas!XofullofBile: mmm...grilling out is awesome.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: You'd be happy about dating a gay guy?

Token_Tennis_Fan

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @The Boy Wonder: one ex i still have a major thing for. one ex i talk to about once every couple months. slightly awkward, but not terrible. the latest ex and i are like besties, out of nowhere. the rest of the exs? the married one still drunk dials me, the old one is still his passive aggressive self, the high school one still hates me, and the one i moved out here for is complete chicken shit. i don't have great odds.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: Thats awesome. Rumor has it that in Oregon there a is a snowboard camp in August for 'grownups'. You snowboard on a glacier all day then go in to town at night and booze it up.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> Sorry, that was meant for Tattooed Mes(iah).

Fuck it, I'm out. Night, DUAN.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: This one and I will get along eventually, she's just being a bit immature right now (which makes sense since she's just a high school senior). I can make things easier on the both of us by not taking this back into the bedroom, but that's gonna take some will power.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I would link the Public Enemy "Shut 'Em Down" rmix video, but Youtube is doing site maitenance.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): @Le Kangourou de Kataroo is reading this sexy blog.: I dont think I could be close friends with an ex. One of them understands me FAR better than anyone else I know, but if anything that just makes it far more difficult to be friends. There are some neighborhoods where I always look over my shoulder so as to avoid the awkward run in.

The Boy Wonder

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): it's been skirt weather in SC apparently all year except the weekend i was home. i did wear cute little bermuda shorts today though. but it's supposed to get cold again tomorrow. le sigh.

@Token_Tennis_Fan: too true. i want my second to last ex to just fall off a cliff. or admit that he really is gay.

@The Boy Wonder: the beauty of CO. it'll warm up finally on the front range, but the slopes'll stay open through may.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]> @TattooedMess(iah): +1 to you. Better man than me.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

]]> <![CDATA[Chasing Jose, By Pat Jordan]]>