Eric Gagne, A Still Life - Deadspin Comments

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

icanthelpitimfromboston — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 10:43:41 EDT

Milwaukee Brewers 2008 Team Leaders
WINS LEADER » E. GAGNE
E. Gagne WINS 1
ERA 27.00
SO 1
IP 1

Thanks, Milwaukee

icanthelpitimfromboston

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Sasquatch — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 10:07:48 EDT

Would it be inappropriate as a Sox fan to send Milwaukee's GM a bouquet of flowers with a big mylar "Thank You" balloon on it? I still can't believe how far this guy has fallen. I too was pretty excited when Theo signed him. All I could think was "If our starters can get through 6, there's no way opposing hitters can get through Gagne, Okajima and Papelbon." We all know what happened next. I'm so glad Francona didn't use him in the playoffs at all.

Sasquatch

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

KazMatsuisAnalFissure — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 19:23:37 EDT

this guy really puts the "gag" in "gagne"

/second-grader pun

KazMatsuisAnalFissure

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

metroville — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 18:28:12 EDT

@MiggytheTiggy: Daly will have to wait in line behind the dissenters from the realm of baseball. First up: Bartolo Colon, the Jogging Cow.

metroville

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Secret Identity — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 18:09:02 EDT

ZUT ALORS!

Secret Identity

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

strong like bull smart like tractor — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:50:40 EDT

@tater:

/weeps quietly

strong like bull smart like tractor

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

tater — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:44:18 EDT

@BruschisBrewsky:
Nah if you really wanted to get something started you'd mention the Jermaine Dye-Neifi Perez trade.

tater

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Carlton_Whitfield — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:42:02 EDT

@Len Pasquarelli's Stretch Marks: Good to know. But hey, you're overlooking the best part of Emil Brown's tenure: when he'd get a hit, the scoreboard would say "It's Not a Snack, It's Emil." Never got old.

Carlton_Whitfield

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

BruschisBrewsky — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:38:25 EDT

@tater: OK agreed, and on top of that i admit i still form a wry smile whenever ol' Heathcliff's name is mentioned.

And to throw gas on the fire i remember when the Royals traded Johnny Damon and Mark Ellis for Hernandez and Angel Berroa.

/sorry

BruschisBrewsky

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Its The Beer Talking — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:34:42 EDT

Considering that this happened in March, and that I was in the stands when Cordero gave up 5 runs in the 9th last summer, excuse me if I'm not having a heart attack about this. His velocity was OK and he got out of the inning.

And if 1 year of Gagne @ 10 mil allows us to sign Braun and Hart long-term, I'm fine with it.

Its The Beer Talking

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

LenPasquarelli'sStretchMarks — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:33:23 EDT

@Carlton_Whitfield: KC here -- all I know is I'm glad Buddy Bell and Emil Brown are gone. Good riddance.

LenPasquarelli'sStretchMarks

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

tater — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:29:42 EDT

@BruschisBrewsky:
No sale...you got Varitek and Lowe from him.

tater

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

BruschisBrewsky — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:28:44 EDT

To throw a Sox fan two cents in, Heathcliff Slocumb.

That about sums it up.

BruschisBrewsky

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

LosOsosdeChicago — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:26:38 EDT

F--ing hockey players.

LosOsosdeChicago

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

tater — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:26:33 EDT

@Carlton_Whitfield:
I'm within 5 hours of the place.

tater

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Carlton_Whitfield — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:24:36 EDT

@tater: No more de la Rosa, though. You in KC also?

Carlton_Whitfield

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

The Fan’s Attic — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:24:18 EDT

@Len Pasquarelli's Stretch Marks: Exactly what I thought.

The Fan’s Attic

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

crazyjoedavola — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:23:15 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: Great, finally got him out of my head. Thanks for that...

crazyjoedavola

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

LenPasquarelli'sStretchMarks — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:21:17 EDT

@Windier E. Megatons: New ESPN Featured Comment?

LenPasquarelli'sStretchMarks

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

tater — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:20:29 EDT

@Carlton_Whitfield:
Yup reminds me of Roberto Hernandez, Ricky Botallico, Jeremy Affeldt, Mike MacDougal eras with the Royals.

tater

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

UkraineNotWeak — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:19:17 EDT

You people act like you never had Armando Benitez as your closer. A few seasons of Benitez will numb you for life.

UkraineNotWeak

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Carlton_Whitfield — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:18:49 EDT

Reminds me of the Dave Veres era for the Cards. When that guy came in... well, we knew we could write that game off.

Carlton_Whitfield

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

the earl of weaver — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:18:42 EDT

Good thing it will only cost them a modest $1 million this ye-

What's that? I left out a zero? Oh.

Well then that was just plain stupid of Milwaukee

the earl of weaver

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

treatment_bound — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:17:33 EDT

Here's my copy reprinted from the daily closer earlier today. I thought I'd throw it in again, since it was posted late...

Gagne was juiced & buffed in L.A.---now he just looks like the guy who comes out to clean your cesspool.

treatment_bound

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:17:10 EDT

If I were Eric Gagne, I'd try to pull a Rick Ankiel right about now.

Gagne will hit 40 home runs in 2011. WRITE IT DOWN!!!

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

MitchKayak — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:16:44 EDT

Were the reverse vampires involved in that conspiracy?

MitchKayak

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Weed Against Speed — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:16:41 EDT

@twoeightnine: Poor outfit choice. You know, something a Major Leaguer would wear.

Weed Against Speed

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Hernandez-is-the-Mandez — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:16:33 EDT

The save statistic is ridiculously over valued, but closers also take too much grief when they shit the bed. So I guess it kind of evens out. But yeah, that guy's done.

Hernandez-is-the-Mandez

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Babcocksure — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:15:05 EDT

"And honestly: Gagne looks less like a professional athlete than just about anybody in sports right now, now that Rich Garces is gone."

Mr John Daly would like your phone number please

Babcocksure

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

UkraineNotWeak — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:14:48 EDT

@J-No:

Kige naked?

UkraineNotWeak

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Doyle McPoyle — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:14:45 EDT

Game Over, indeed.

Doyle McPoyle

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Clare — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:14:28 EDT

As someone who harbors a freakishly intense crush on Derrick Turnbow and counts a Turnbow bobblehad among her prized posessions, I hope Eric Gagne implodes like Three Rivers Stadium. I will watch said implosion from across a river and atop a hill, and drink a Bloody Mary afterward.

Clare

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

twoeightnine — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:14:03 EDT

He's not fat, he's curvy!

twoeightnine

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

UkraineNotWeak — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:13:23 EDT

Dan Kolb is still available.

UkraineNotWeak

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

J-No — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:13:18 EDT

@Chief Wahoo: I still can't tlak about what I saw. The horror of it all. I'm scarred for life.

J-No

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

VTBen — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:12:50 EDT

He got a bullshit win yesterday:
[sports.aol.com]
This will go great with his bullshit World Series championship ring.

VTBen

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

DennyCrane — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:11:50 EDT

INVISABULL TOYLET BOUL
/can be interpreted several ways

DennyCrane

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

ArkansasFred — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:11:35 EDT

I think my girlfriend, who is pretty ignorant when it comes to baseball players, summed it up well when she asked "Who is this slob?"

ArkansasFred

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

SlantedAndDisenchanted — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:11:14 EDT

Plus the guy speaks French, which is just like really disrespectful to my freedom.

SlantedAndDisenchanted

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Weed Against Speed — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:11:06 EDT

No wonder why he struggled. The pitching mound is made of quicksand! You can't even see his feet anymore. Someone get him out of there!

Weed Against Speed

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Juancho — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:10:38 EDT

If only Butterbean could pitch.

Juancho

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Chief Wahoo — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:10:36 EDT

I believe I heard J-No's scream in NYC yesterday afternoon.

Chief Wahoo

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

WoodBatsSteelBalls — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:10:28 EDT

He better get his balls blessed before the steroid shrinkage renders them non-existent.

WoodBatsSteelBalls

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Whitey Fisk — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:09:37 EDT

The happiest guy in the place when Gagne shit the bed was Kerry Wood.

Whitey Fisk

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Gourmet Spud — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:09:24 EDT

Not pictured: every National League hitter lined up behind him.

Gourmet Spud

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

MattinglysSideburns — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:09:18 EDT

He and Judd Apatow should just write another movie together.

MattinglysSideburns

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

UkraineNotWeak — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:09:07 EDT

And yet the Cubs still managed to lose. It's been a tough century.

UkraineNotWeak

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

tater — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:08:52 EDT

I believe Ray King is still employed.

tater

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

SlickBomb — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:08:45 EDT

Not quite as bad as mentioning Paul Byrd's PED "problem" the night before his ALCS start, but we'll take it.

SlickBomb

Eric Gagne, A Still Life

Windier E. Megatons — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:08:31 EDT

I think Wood will rebound. Gagne looks finished, though. What were the Brewers thinking?

Windier E. Megatons