Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking - Deadspin Comments

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

SeaSalt — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:21:05 EDT

that wasn't even funny, but I was able to squeeze "Gyno Pomare" into a comment

SeaSalt

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

SeaSalt — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 06:17:10 EDT

@Doug Llewelyn, Court Reporter: Gyno Pomare has a new take on your "guitar gyro"

SeaSalt

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Footbaw — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:02:10 EDT

If you are on the DL, do you really need to follow the advice in "Mark Grace's SlumpBusters for Dummies?"

Footbaw

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

gbaked — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:16:54 EDT

come on guys... i am sure she has a great personality

gbaked

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:02:00 EDT

Wait until he gets Rock Band.

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Crookednose — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:52:17 EDT

Guitar Hero is like masturbation. It's fun and feels good, but it's best done in private. At bars, parties (or on Facebook)? Yeah, you're a tool.

Crookednose

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

The Sports Hernia — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:31:55 EDT

Why is he wearing a ball bag beard?

The Sports Hernia

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

micke — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:19:20 EDT

Sorry but micke approves of the tiddies.

micke

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

LostinTheOffice — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:15:47 EDT

@Rob Iracane:

Can THIS be the subject of the next Combudsman post?

Crown Molding?!? Knock it off Iracane.

And yes, the Tigers bullpen has given up another couple of runs against the hottest team in baseball.

LostinTheOffice

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Todd Jones Mustache Ride — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:09:17 EDT

@twoeightnine: Nope, no WaWa in Michigan. She's 7-11 all the way.

Todd Jones Mustache Ride

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

BigTenObsession — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:09:17 EDT

@preciousroy:

+1, but only because that statement is true for me. But I prefer Ninja Gaiden.

BigTenObsession

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Chamomiles Davis — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:06:16 EDT

@Len Pasquarelli's Stretch Marks: It's insane, this chick's taint.

Chamomiles Davis

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Al Czerviks Ride — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:04:36 EDT

Until he comes back, we should get used to GameCenter lines like this...
Grudzielanek walked, Gathright to third on wild pitch.

Al Czerviks Ride

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Michael Bertin — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:03:36 EDT

@tater: I run Galaga on the MAME.

Michael Bertin

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:03:28 EDT

Randy Marsh has next.

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

tater — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:02:53 EDT

Guitar Hero pfft...I was having fun playing old Mario on the original Nintendo last week. Some things never get out of style.

tater

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

shea_guevara — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:01:27 EDT

Zumaya has red-eye in every single pic. Maybe he sold his soul to the devil for Guitar Hero skills, and is now a demon.

shea_guevara

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Michael Bertin — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:01:26 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: No.

Michael Bertin

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Al Czerviks Ride — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:01:06 EDT

@tater: 4 runs in 18 innings. So much for that vaunted offense.

Al Czerviks Ride

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

blastitbiggs — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:01:01 EDT

sorry, haven't played it yet - still addicted to Civ 2.

blastitbiggs

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

McCroskey — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:00:40 EDT

@crazyjoedavola: Alas, that is the game's tragic flaw. I give my wife credit for trying, but we can only play Wanted Dead or Alive so many times before we're both bored. Awesome game, though.

McCroskey

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Cialis Cooper — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:00:33 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: I am also a member of your club. It is too bad Bob Dylan did not also put his guitar down after 30.

Cialis Cooper

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

muggsybogues — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:59:27 EDT

No, the dude who just got kicked off Top Chef last week.

muggsybogues

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

tater — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:57:51 EDT

@Civil Negligence:
That big woman made a bad boy out of Z.

tater

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Civil Negligence — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:57:48 EDT

@UpstateUnderdog: If that's the case I don't think Lita can be on the hood of any vehicle larger than a Hummer without risk of the car giving way.

Civil Negligence

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:57:19 EDT

Look for their tour: Tits and Mitts.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

crazyjoedavola — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:56:53 EDT

@McCroskey: I have tried it, but my 2 yr old aint no Ringo Starr.

crazyjoedavola

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Al Czerviks Ride — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:56:49 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: Over 30, and in Law School, and I'm a junkkie. My wife bought me a PS3 for Christmas but gave it to me after I finished finals last term, I had to put it away again, but in 2 1/2 weeks, its Guitar Hero- Madden08 orgy!

Al Czerviks Ride

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Weed Against Speed — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:55:56 EDT

People, people, people. You don't play Guitar Hero, you live it!

/actually have owned it for a year, played it 5 times

Weed Against Speed

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Yostal — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:55:28 EDT

Not show, the boxes he saved from his attic during the SoCal Wildfires.

Joel? Do you remember who the Tigers' closer is? Yes, that's right, Todd Jones. Just making sure.

Yostal

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:54:55 EDT

Lita Ford has really let herself go.

UpstateUnderdog

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

David Hume — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:54:47 EDT

@TheStarterWife: Hey, my (wife or) girlfriend's in there...

Lots of people's (wives or) girlfriends are in there.

David Hume

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:54:28 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: nope.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

McCroskey — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:54:15 EDT

@crazyjoedavola: Try Rock Band. Even more life-controlling than Guitar Hero

McCroskey

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Dead Wrestlers Society — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:54:15 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: I played it once at a Best Buy, but then I realized how many germy little kids had played it beforehand, so I dropped the guitar and ran back over to the Men at Work CDs.

/on the wrong side of 30.

Dead Wrestlers Society

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

White Speed Receiver — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:53:48 EDT

So that's where A-Rod's blonde went...

White Speed Receiver

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Civil Negligence — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:53:21 EDT

I know there is a joke here involving one of Queen's hit songs, perhaps one from 1978--but I'll be damned if I can find it...

Civil Negligence

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

tater — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:53:10 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak:
Raises hand.

Oh and the Royals are leading the Tigers again...Bannister so far is shutting them out. What a crazy world we live in.

tater

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:52:59 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: Join the club, I'm married with 2 kids. No time for video games.

UpstateUnderdog

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

whodatmaninablacksedan — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:52:57 EDT

Even more surprising, Zumaya puts pictures of himself on Facebook.

whodatmaninablacksedan

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Weed Against Speed — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:52:03 EDT

@Chamomiles Davis: Maybe the width of her blit meat?

Weed Against Speed

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

JoeyBellesGPS — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:51:59 EDT

Rock her with the Shocker, Joel.

JoeyBellesGPS

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:51:50 EDT

@Farneyismycopilot: Is it safe for pregnant chicks to play Guitar Hero?

UpstateUnderdog

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

LenPasquarelli'sStretchMarks — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:51:50 EDT

@Chamomiles Davis: She must have quite the large taint.

LenPasquarelli'sStretchMarks

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

crazyjoedavola — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:51:45 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: Until this Easter, I was among you. Now, I am a junkie.

crazyjoedavola

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

LenPasquarelli'sStretchMarks — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:50:42 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: +1

LenPasquarelli'sStretchMarks

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Chamomiles Davis — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:50:39 EDT

Are you sure he's not just showing us how far he has to spread his fingers to give that lady a shocker?

Chamomiles Davis

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

DeepFriar — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:49:55 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: obviously, you're over 30 like me

DeepFriar

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

LenPasquarelli'sStretchMarks — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:49:43 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: I think he's practicing a Dee Brown dunk maneuver in the other pic.

LenPasquarelli'sStretchMarks

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

DeepFriar — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:49:28 EDT

@DeepFriar: "too", asshat!

DeepFriar

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Ray — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:49:26 EDT

The beard says I came to rock, but "Sweet Child O' Mine" on expert says I also have a sensitive side.

Ray

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:49:23 EDT

Am I the only one left who hasn't played Guitar Hero?

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

DeepFriar — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:48:39 EDT

@TheStarterWife: Joel had to make an honest woman out of her, after she was impregnated just by standing to close to him when he played "Cherub Rock"

DeepFriar

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

twoeightnine — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:48:06 EDT

It's amazing the things you can find in a dumpster behind a 7-11 late at night.

She looks more like a Wawa girl to me.

twoeightnine

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Doyle McPoyle — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:47:51 EDT

That chick really needs to hit the Heroin Hero, stat.

Doyle McPoyle

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

BarbarobicsInstructor — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:47:07 EDT

he'll be begging for carpal tunnel once he starts orally birthing a full-grown guitar legend

BarbarobicsInstructor

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Doyle McPoyle — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:47:03 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: Or watching his Oscar acceptance speech for "The Pianist".

Doyle McPoyle

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Lady Andrea — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:45:34 EDT

@Signal to Noise: dark-haired girl in the 3rd picture? Yeah, she's cute.

Lady Andrea

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

StreakinTheQuad — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:45:31 EDT

Mose Schrute approves of the goatee

StreakinTheQuad

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

TheStarterWife — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:44:17 EDT

Wait a second, blondie is sporting a wedding ring and/or engagement ring.

Does this mean Zumaya is taken now?

TheStarterWife

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:43:26 EDT

Odds are, the guy in the back is watching porn.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Matt Sussman — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:43:11 EDT

Jason Grilli (DL) - fans attacking him with a guitar

Matt Sussman

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:41:43 EDT

@Gourmet Spud: +1

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

André Roussimoff — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:41:34 EDT

You know its an omen if the girl plays "Raining Blood" as her first song.

André Roussimoff

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

The Fan’s Attic — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:40:56 EDT

@Dead Wrestlers Society: So that's where Sean "Big Mouth" Salisbury stole his nickname. A plastic fish electronically programmed to say/emit a limited number of things on a loop.

The Fan’s Attic

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

ClueHeywood — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:40:45 EDT

Zumaya: Rocking.
That Chick: Rolling.

ClueHeywood

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

stealofthedraft — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:40:39 EDT

@Ray:
It's also the best.

stealofthedraft

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Weed Against Speed — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:40:32 EDT

Nice Bob Ross painting in the background.

Weed Against Speed

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Signal to Noise — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:40:19 EDT

First pic lady is not my speed, but second pic gets a yes.

Joel is obviously awaiting the moment where Slash emerges from his body.

Signal to Noise

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

DeepFriar — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:40:07 EDT

@HebrewHammer: Are they playing Big Girls Don't Cry?
/Fergie'd

DeepFriar

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Luthur — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:39:49 EDT

@The Fan's Attic:

Overexuberance, indeed.

Luthur

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Doug Llewelyn, Court Reporter — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:39:42 EDT

Todd Jones prefers Guitar Gyro.

Doug Llewelyn, Court Reporter

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

J-No — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:39:25 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: +1

J-No

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

crazyjoedavola — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:39:07 EDT

@Rob Iracane: That entertainment center is pretty nice too...

As a new convert to Guitar Hero, I understand the addiction.

crazyjoedavola

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Sandy Magic Jackson — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:38:29 EDT

@Dead Wrestlers Society: Awesome. I forgot what those were called.

Sandy Magic Jackson

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Ray — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:38:16 EDT

It's cool, Skip, no more injuries. I got the wireless guitar.

Ray

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:38:15 EDT

It's amazing the things you can find in a dumpster behind a 7-11 late at night.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Cialis Cooper — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:38:11 EDT

At first I'm like, "Cool, Billy Bigmouth Bass," then I realized it wasn't.

Cialis Cooper

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:38:00 EDT

@The Fan's Attic: exactly. those are not the fake boobehs, and therefore need the extra push. and trust, they're not that pushed up. throw that girl into a corset and see some magic happen.

i want a closeup on his tattoos so i can confirm they're tribal and commence the mocking.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Gourmet Spud — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:37:32 EDT

@TheStarterWife:

Hey. That's sexist.

Gourmet Spud

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Sandy Magic Jackson — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:37:16 EDT

Is that a talking plastic fishes up on the wall? Because that just makes this picture that much trashier.

Sandy Magic Jackson

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:37:03 EDT

What's with the fish high up on the wall.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

HebrewHammer — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:37:01 EDT

Are they playing Fat Bottomed Girls?

HebrewHammer

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Ray — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:36:50 EDT

Worst Hole tribute band ever.

Ray

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

J-No — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:36:41 EDT

But did he pay for their parking?

J-No

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

RonZookonRedBull — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:36:38 EDT

Hey, Joel... don't look at yesterday's posts here. Leinart's use of his free time makes you look like a total chump.

And thanks for the '06 Series, buddy. Rock on, as far as I'm concerned.

RonZookonRedBull

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Dead Wrestlers Society — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:36:32 EDT

@Rob Iracane: +1 for the Big Mouth Billy Bass.

Dead Wrestlers Society

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:36:29 EDT

@TheStarterWife: that's more of an "express" top than forever 21. and a choker from 1999.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

The Fan’s Attic — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:36:13 EDT

@Luthur: as i learned last night in quick physics lesson from another commenter [looks at Kataroo], big tits naturally sag more hence the need to be pushed up sometimes with overexuberance.

The Fan’s Attic

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Gourmet Spud — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:36:04 EDT

Tits, tats, bass, ass.

Gourmet Spud

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:35:47 EDT

@Big Daddy Drew: Yeah, like Jaye Davidson.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Babcocksure — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:35:33 EDT

I'd say playing guitar hero would be less strenuous than trying to get her bra off while she's on her back

oh and tigers down 2-0 in the 6th. Great timing Leitch

Babcocksure

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

TheStarterWife — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:35:21 EDT

Must have been a sale that week at Forever 21.

(And big "yes" on Zumaya.)

TheStarterWife

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Rob Iracane — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:35:20 EDT

NICE FUCKING CROWN MOLDING

no, seriously

Rob Iracane

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

The Fan’s Attic — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:34:42 EDT

do those women work for "skin industries"?

The Fan’s Attic

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Lady Andrea — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:34:29 EDT

@Luthur: those don't actually looked pushed-up to me.

I want to see them get Rock Band. Verlander on the skins, Inge as the lead singer.

Lady Andrea

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Dead Wrestlers Society — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:34:20 EDT

So that's where the Rock of Love castoffs ended up.

Dead Wrestlers Society

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

twoeightnine — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:34:04 EDT

MOOOOOOOOO

twoeightnine

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:34:02 EDT

i got carpal tunnel from knitting. guitar hero is so much more badass.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Drew Magary — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:33:29 EDT

She's not fat! She's a real woman, dammit!

Drew Magary

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Weed Against Speed — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:32:51 EDT

From right to left: No, fish, no, crabs.

Weed Against Speed

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Al Czerviks Ride — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:32:50 EDT

@Chief Wahoo: I kinda think what happened is he was on top and got bucked off.

Al Czerviks Ride

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:32:29 EDT

Who's the tranny with Zumaya? Is he shooting for A-Rod's leftovers?

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Gourmet Spud — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:32:25 EDT

@BarbarobicsInstructor:

And thus, a great new euphemism was born.

Gourmet Spud

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Farneyismycopilot — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:32:20 EDT

@BubbaCJ24: Nope, a preggers guy.

Farneyismycopilot

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Luthur — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:31:57 EDT

Apparently, the password to get into his house is, "yes, my tits are pushed up as far as possible."

Luthur

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Chief Wahoo — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:31:43 EDT

Zumayas next injury: ruptured spleen if he lets her get on top.

Chief Wahoo

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

YukMouth — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:31:41 EDT

Smart move, zoom zoom.

YukMouth

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

BubbaCJ24 — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:31:28 EDT

So Joel's a tits guy.

BubbaCJ24

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

Gourmet Spud — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:31:20 EDT

C'mon, Joel. True gentlemen always let their ladies use the wireless.

Gourmet Spud

Joel Zumaya, Still Rocking

BarbarobicsInstructor — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:29:23 EDT

I thought that chick was a Molina fan

BarbarobicsInstructor