Steely McDrunky - Deadspin Comments

Steely McDrunky

abbydoopop — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 11:44:26 EDT

Mom?

What are doing in the ridiculous outfit?

Come back home...your firends James Beam and Glen Fiddich are waiting for you.

abbydoopop

Steely McDrunky

part time lover, full time hater — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 22:51:35 EDT

IC Light must have been on special at 3 or more bars that night.

Ah, the most fantastic things happen in my neighborhood. Shirtless Jeff Reed & Casey Hampton? Check.
Drunk Steely McBeam? Check.
Underage Penguins and drunk college girls? Check.

Ahh, free amusement.

part time lover, full time hater

Steely McDrunky

Bearcat44 — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:21:38 EDT

@Lady Andrea: Steely does not hang with meth-heads.

The Tree needs to be sliced.

Bearcat44

Steely McDrunky

Chones_Chonies — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 15:27:15 EDT

At least he was wears a helmet.

Chones_Chonies

Steely McDrunky

Bobby_Big_Wheel — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:48:05 EDT

@The Diesel:

I don't know, is Steel Reserve from PA? That shit is delicious.

Bobby_Big_Wheel

Steely McDrunky

izzone — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:14:15 EDT

Had steely been drunk and hit his significant other, he'd probably would still be on the team

izzone

Steely McDrunky

NovakAintNoJokovic — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:49:07 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Hey now, we don't rip on your Sens for sucking it up in the playoffs every year, do we?

Mostly because nobody knows about it, but that's neither here nor there.

NovakAintNoJokovic

Steely McDrunky

Magnakai Haaskivi — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:40:02 EDT

@SagerBombs: It was between releasing him and letting James Harrison punch him.

Magnakai Haaskivi

Steely McDrunky

SagerBombs — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:57:35 EDT

I love that the Steelers released him. That organization is TOUGH on players and mascots who break the law.

SagerBombs

Steely McDrunky

RachelRayIsTheDevil — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:51:45 EDT

Two birds with one stone. Just rent X's, O's and Ho's. On DVD of course.

RachelRayIsTheDevil

Steely McDrunky

JoeyBellesGPS — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:44:41 EDT

Are you reelin' from the beers...

JoeyBellesGPS

Steely McDrunky

Packy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:29:21 EDT

@Sarcastro: Don't give up, don't ever give up.

Packy

Steely McDrunky

Clare — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:27:24 EDT

Meanwhile, Jalapeño Hannah and Sauerkraut Saul are tweaking on crystal meth in the Hill District.

@Sarcastro: There there, button. [pats head]

Clare

Steely McDrunky

blastitbiggs — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:24:28 EDT

INVISIBLE HOT STUFF COMIN' THROUGH

blastitbiggs

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:22:48 EDT

@Packy: I've as yet been unable to have the missus cross that threshold. I haven't given up.

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

Packy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:19:19 EDT

@Sarcastro: Strange, yes. But I am intrigued even more so than before. How do I get my wife to be friends with Lesbians? Like the ones in porn.

Packy

Steely McDrunky

TheStarterWife — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:16:33 EDT

@Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic: I was beginning to wonder where in this thread the ghosts of mascots past would appear.

The Parrot that ended up in the Mt. Lebo pool eventually was on the first season of Road Rules.

TheStarterWife

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:12:48 EDT

@Packy: For some reason, my wife and I know many lesbians. I think if you know more than five, you'll end up at a women's football game eventually.

My life is kind of strange.

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

Packy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:10:39 EDT

@Sarcastro: Wow, I actually thought you were kidding about the season starting. Your in depth knowledge makes me think otherwise. Now I REALLY feel bad for you.

Packy

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:09:13 EDT

@Packy: Half are those overtanned fitness/aerobics chicks, half are mountains. I will say, though, that the QB can actually throw a football about as well as a D-III guy.

(There are about three attractive women on the squad.)

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

Nationalcoholic — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:06:38 EDT

@Yostal: When someone gives you 10000-1 you take it.

Nationalcoholic

Steely McDrunky

Chamomiles Davis — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:06:05 EDT

Wwwwwwait a minute... that beam's not made out of steel. That's foam rubber! Steely, you drunken fraud!

/N'at

Chamomiles Davis

Steely McDrunky

RugDaniels — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:05:20 EDT

the Phillie Phanatic no longer will allow Steely to drive his four-wheeler

RugDaniels

Steely McDrunky

Packy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:02:17 EDT

@Sarcastro: Are they semi-attractive at least? All I can picture about women's football is the god awful super bowl promotion during halftime with Victoria's Secret.

Packy

Steely McDrunky

Yostal — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:00:50 EDT

@Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic: I'll give 1,000-1 odds that Iceburgh is involved, and 10,000-1 odds that it's Jean Claude van Damme wearing the Iceburgh costume.

Yostal

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:59:09 EDT

@Packy: What's most amazing about Pirates fans is, as you note, that there are any of us. Yes, the team gives away shitloads of bobbleheads and the ballpark is beautiful, but I still can't account for how a team that hasn't finished above .500 since 1992 drew 1.8 million last year.

Well, at least the Pittsburgh Passion, the women's pro football team, starts play soon.

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

Packy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:56:35 EDT

@Sarcastro: I understand your pain. I did not think there were any of you left. Could this be the curse of Barry Bonds? Have you had any winning seasons since he left town?

Packy

Steely McDrunky

The Diesel — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:53:54 EDT

@Bobby_Big_Wheel: Which part of the state has the beer that doesn't taste like donkeypiss? Wait, nevermind.

The Diesel

Steely McDrunky

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:53:35 EDT

This will all be forgotten in a few days once Pittsburgh police have their hands full with Ray Emery in town the next few days and nothing to keep him busy.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Steely McDrunky

Im a people person. Who drinks. — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:52:20 EDT

@Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic: I hope it's Jalapeno Hanna - she's hot! /rimshot

Im a people person. Who drinks.

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:51:14 EDT

@Packy: How do you think I feel as a Pirates fan? My god. And yet I keep going to the effing games. Hoping.

(I hate myself)

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

roland_t_flakfizer — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:50:59 EDT

Was he driving a Beamer?

roland_t_flakfizer

Steely McDrunky

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:49:46 EDT

Mrs. McBeam better not raise any issues with the Little Beam's baptism ceremony.

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY

Steely McDrunky

Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:49:44 EDT

This only continues a trend: Pirate Parrot as coke dealer during the '80s drug trial, there was some guy who played "the Pirate" who they fished out of some city pool in the '90s, wearing the costume except for the pants, and now this. The odds on a racing pierogie sex tape only went up by this.

Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic

Steely McDrunky

Packy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:48:55 EDT

Rumor has it that the Steelers will retain his services because he was late for his daughter's baptism. I'm not saying...but I'm just saying....

Packy

Steely McDrunky

Red Sox Monster — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:48:49 EDT

Steely McJimBeam it is, then.

Red Sox Monster

Steely McDrunky

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:46:59 EDT

I thought Bill Cowher retired?

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

Steely McDrunky

ClownForPound — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:46:16 EDT

The old lady who named him took the "Beam" from her husband's fondness for bourbon. This was Steely's Jeff Smoker fulfillment-of-destiny moment.

ClownForPound

Steely McDrunky

The Fan’s Attic — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:45:55 EDT

Are we sure he wasn't drinking Steel Reserve?

The Fan’s Attic

Steely McDrunky

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:45:33 EDT

Iceburgh doesn't stoop to this level

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

Steely McDrunky

Packy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:44:26 EDT

@Sarcastro: Sorry, I wasn't trying to get you...just repressed feelings of rage when I see the other side of the state with many Superbowls and the Iggles with a lot of "potential".

Packy

Steely McDrunky

The White Boom Boom — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:44:24 EDT

It's got to be a bitch to drive with that giant foam head on.

The White Boom Boom

Steely McDrunky

David Hume — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:42:39 EDT

@Rob Iracane: Mascots Approving Drunk Driving?

David Hume

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:41:14 EDT

@Rob Iracane: Mascots Against Drunken Driving?

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

Rob Iracane — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:40:15 EDT

I blame the Pittsburgh Area MADD.

Rob Iracane

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:39:59 EDT

@Packy: Well, you got me there.

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

McCroskey — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:39:18 EDT

Doc Ellis is not impressed

McCroskey

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:39:15 EDT

@HIV 2 Elway: After seven games. Very impressive.

All I'm saying, really, is a Royals fan slagging the Pirates is kind of like a very fat chick making fun of a gargantuanly obese chick. Neither is getting invited to the prom.

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

Packy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:39:13 EDT

@Sarcastro: Oops. I try to forget the times I have been there and everything that involves that shithole of a town.

Packy

Steely McDrunky

UkraineNotWeak — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:38:11 EDT

You are all missing the main point of this story. There is now an opening to play Steely McBeam. Off to Pittsburgh I go.

UkraineNotWeak

Steely McDrunky

Jefferson Short Bus — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:36:35 EDT

He should see Doctor Wu about his drinking problem... wait, wrong Steely.

Jefferson Short Bus

Steely McDrunky

HIV 2 Elway — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:36:16 EDT

@Sarcastro: First place Royals.

HIV 2 Elway

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:36:02 EDT

@Jefferson DArcy: I will not take you up on that offer.

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

Jefferson DArcy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:34:39 EDT

You try to drive with Kordell Stewart head in your lap.

Jefferson DArcy

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:34:16 EDT

@Peter Cavan: Probably cirrhosis.

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

crazyjoedavola — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:33:31 EDT

A limp wristed slap to the officers face, and an offer of oral pleasure was left out of this report.

crazyjoedavola

Steely McDrunky

7-8 Deville — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:33:28 EDT

Kordell Stewart is still pissed that Steely wasn't introduced during his playing days in Pittsburgh.

7-8 Deville

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:32:46 EDT

@Packy: Yes, hillbillies. Very astute observation, son. And, of course, the beer (such as it is) is called Iron City.

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

Peter Cavan — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:32:37 EDT

Without a job he won't have health insurance to get that jaundice checked out. Poor Steely.

Peter Cavan

Steely McDrunky

Packy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:32:10 EDT

@Bobby_Big_Wheel: I meant Iron City....either way it tastes like dirty grundle

Packy

Steely McDrunky

David Hume — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:31:36 EDT

More like Kenneth Heee-eeey.

David Hume

Steely McDrunky

Brazil Thrill — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:31:35 EDT

@Doyle McPoyle: So the real question is: Did they arrest the top or the bottom?

Brazil Thrill

Steely McDrunky

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:30:49 EDT

@sba: @Gourmet Spud: Steely strikes me more of an apple-tini or cosmopolitan kind of guy.

UpstateUnderdog

Steely McDrunky

Johnny LaRue — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:30:22 EDT

@DeepFriar: Not a chance. Keggy was still dodging hockey pucks and trying to decide which right wing trustee nominees to vote for in January.

Johnny LaRue

Steely McDrunky

Bobby_Big_Wheel — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:29:43 EDT

@The Diesel: Wrong part of the state. Iron City strikes again.

Bobby_Big_Wheel

Steely McDrunky

Civil Negligence — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:29:37 EDT

@tater: +1

Civil Negligence

Steely McDrunky

stealofthedraft — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:29:09 EDT

Who will be selling the McBEAM .166 jerseys?

stealofthedraft

Steely McDrunky

MisterC — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:28:53 EDT

Steely had one too many daiquiris.

MisterC

Steely McDrunky

futuremrsrickankiel — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:28:48 EDT

Oh, this young man has had a very trying rookie season, with the litigation, the notoriety, his subsequent deportation to Canada and that country's refusal to accept him, well, I guess that's more than most [24]-year-olds can handle.

(sorry, that's the association I always immediately make with anything coming out of Pittsburgh)

futuremrsrickankiel

Steely McDrunky

RachelRayIsTheDevil — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:28:38 EDT

Steely McBeam was venting with an aluminum can.

RachelRayIsTheDevil

Steely McDrunky

Packy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:28:30 EDT

@The Diesel: thats not yuengling county...thats Steel City country. Yuengling would be considered an import to those hillbilly's

Packy

Steely McDrunky

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:28:24 EDT

The Hawks mascot doesn't have this problem

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Steely McDrunky

Doyle McPoyle — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:28:14 EDT

@Brazil Thrill-Gasm: Don't act so suprised.

Doyle McPoyle

Steely McDrunky

Ace Rothstein — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:28:13 EDT

Have the young man send me his resume, We need a new brotwurst for our sausage races - Brewers GM

Ace Rothstein

Steely McDrunky

PantsUnknown — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:27:54 EDT

For some reason, I picture McBeam riding around on his steel beam like a witch on a broomstick.

Were that actually the case, no cop in his right mind would pull him over. Much too terrifying.

PantsUnknown

Steely McDrunky

Whitey Fisk — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:26:29 EDT

Carl Eller wonders why he didn't hit the cop with his beam.

Whitey Fisk

Steely McDrunky

tater — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:26:16 EDT

@Sarcastro:
True, our cleanup hitter is a former Pirate and is getting suspened.

/stupid Moore

tater

Steely McDrunky

the earl of weaver — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:25:26 EDT

I'd cut the guy some slack. He and Brady Quinn just had a nasty falling out.

the earl of weaver

Steely McDrunky

Im a people person. Who drinks. — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:25:19 EDT

Mt Washington - represent! Actually - if you get flagged for a DUI going from the south side to MTW - you suck at drunk driving.

Im a people person. Who drinks.

Steely McDrunky

VidaBlueBalls — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:25:16 EDT

Terrible BAC, fantastic ERA. Wait, wrong sport.

VidaBlueBalls

Steely McDrunky

Bunkie Perkins — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:24:51 EDT

Roethlisberger's t-shirt approves

Bunkie Perkins

Steely McDrunky

UkraineNotWeak — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:24:01 EDT

Steely requested to be held over another night because he was just getting to know his cellmates.

UkraineNotWeak

Steely McDrunky

Sarcastro — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:23:46 EDT

@tater: Easy, there, champ. Your avatar is a Royals logo, after all.

Sarcastro

Steely McDrunky

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:23:44 EDT

It wasn't the blood alcohol level of .166 that imparied his driving as much as the fact that he was getting a blowjob from Mr. Met at the time.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Steely McDrunky

Brazil Thrill — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:23:34 EDT

...Pittsburgh police have arrested one of the men who played Pittsburgh Steelers horrifying mascot, Steely McBeam.

So there were multiple men inside the suit?

Brazil Thrill

Steely McDrunky

sba — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:23:24 EDT

How many Zimas is that anyway?

sba

Steely McDrunky

MitchKayak — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:22:23 EDT

Hey he works hard, and he plays hard.

MitchKayak

Steely McDrunky

El Gran Guapo — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:22:07 EDT

Steely will have to go back to tending bar at the Man Hole.

El Gran Guapo

Steely McDrunky

Afino — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:21:52 EDT

@SonsofShawnKemp:

He should hold the tini next time.

Afino

Steely McDrunky

7-8 Deville — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:21:39 EDT

Jeez, where ya been, Homer? The whole steel *industry's* gay.

7-8 Deville

Steely McDrunky

Jezzies-Scare-Me — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:21:19 EDT

@Lady Andrea: It's sort of like 'Furries,' but for people who are REALLY fucked up.

Masoctties?

Jezzies-Scare-Me

Steely McDrunky

Gourmet Spud — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:21:04 EDT

His blood alcohol level was .166

That's a lot of wine coolers.

Gourmet Spud

Steely McDrunky

Al Tijuana — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:20:55 EDT

I'll tell ya, those appletinis will sneak up on you.

Al Tijuana

Steely McDrunky

Matt Sussman — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:20:24 EDT

His uncle, Jim McBeam, isn't too disappointed.

Matt Sussman

Steely McDrunky

Jackfruit — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:20:21 EDT

how'd they know he's one of the Steelys? Was he unshaven, a strong, square jaw, or did he have yellow skin?

Jackfruit

Steely McDrunky

tater — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:19:53 EDT

His blood alcohol level was .166

With an average like that he would be the cleanup hitter for the Pirate.

tater

Steely McDrunky

DeepFriar — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:19:51 EDT

I blame the Dartmouth mascot

DeepFriar

Steely McDrunky

The Diesel — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:19:33 EDT

"released from his duties."

Translation: "Back to creeping out kids in his clown suit."

The Diesel

Steely McDrunky

MattinglysSideburns — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:19:02 EDT

Kurt Angle is no longer Pittsburgh's most beloved drunk driver.

MattinglysSideburns

Steely McDrunky

The Diesel — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:18:12 EDT

Yuengling strikes again.

The Diesel

Steely McDrunky

Lady Andrea — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 11:17:47 EDT

He was just trying to impress the Stanford Tree...

Lady Andrea