Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild - Deadspin Comments

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

RachelRayIsTheDevil — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:04:26 EDT

if a fly ball bounces off both of their heads is it two runs or a ground rule double?

RachelRayIsTheDevil

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Sandburgh — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:00:26 EDT

Is one Jose Canseco and the other one his ego?

Sandburgh

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

A Pimp Named DaveR — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:22:04 EDT

[gravybread.files.wordpress.com]

A Pimp Named DaveR

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Grandjester — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:56:53 EDT

"You gellin'?"

"Oh yeah, I'm gellin'"

Grandjester

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

pmo07 — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:11:40 EDT

The most amazing thing is that Jose got an offer for a movie about his life. Maybe ESPN can pick it up and play it next to "The Bronx is Burning".

pmo07

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

The Diesel — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:55:14 EDT

Janice Dickinson will take either one. Or both. And a side of botox with a dash of batsh*t crazy.

The Diesel

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Juggernaut — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:54:55 EDT

@MiggytheTiggy: Wasn't that a Van Damme movie?

Juggernaut

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

André Roussimoff — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:47:17 EDT

Biggest Native American from North Carolina since Tatanka.

André Roussimoff

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

David Hume — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:38:31 EDT

@ltwinslow: That little Korean girl playing the Violin? Yeah, she's a child progeny.

David Hume

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

ImAManImForty — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:33:25 EDT

if we are to read the earlier interview piece from Pat Jordan it is clear that Rob was sending smoke signals about the demise of the relationship.

ImAManImForty

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:29:57 EDT

"So Runs-with-my-money, if I'm not getting through to you,let's get one thing clear: I hate your fucking guts."

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

ImAManImForty — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:28:44 EDT

@jwaves2007: the kind that realizes there is no such thing as bad publicity. He comes out of this much higher up the totem pole.

ImAManImForty

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

illiniowl — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:27:59 EDT

@Burning River: I thought the premise was that Jose was too dumb and/or dyslexic to realize that Conseco was not actually the correct spelling of his own last name. Worked for me.

illiniowl

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

jwaves2007 — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:23:47 EDT

What kind of lawyer works for four years without getting paid?

jwaves2007

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

shea_guevara — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:22:30 EDT

@BigTenObsession: Are those two things mutually exclusive?

shea_guevara

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:21:21 EDT

@Tugnutt's Five-Hole: I realized that right after I clicked submit. Ugh.

Weed Against Speed

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Secret Identity — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:14:19 EDT

@Weed Against Speed:

If I give you a +1 and then take it back, what does that make me again?

Secret Identity

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Secret Identity — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:12:57 EDT

Released into the wild? Does this mean there's gonna be a big party called Cansecopalooza with Snoop Dogg and his friend in the green hat, where Ozzie decides he wants to go streaking through the quad up to the gymnasium?

Secret Identity

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Jews For Purple Jesus — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:12:44 EDT

"Just moving on. It's a number of things. Irreconcilable differences, disagreement on some issues. I just don't need the hassle anymore."

In other words, Rob's too busy now, he's writing a book, and a movie, about his life.

Jews For Purple Jesus

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

sassydeerrun — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:12:34 EDT

Two guys, one syringe.

sassydeerrun

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Paul Zuvella — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:12:10 EDT

Jose was frustrated that Saunooke, of all people, couldn't get him a decent reservation anywhere

Paul Zuvella

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Tugnutt's Five-Hole — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:09:26 EDT

@Weed Against Speed: "Oak-y afterbirth"

Tugnutt's Five-Hole

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Tugnutt's Five-Hole — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:07:36 EDT

The Canseco brothers, pictured here, bring their martial arts skills to the remake of Double Dragon: The Movie.

Tugnutt's Five-Hole

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

ltwinslow — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:07:04 EDT

@shea_guevara:
yeah that narrows it down

ltwinslow

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Sliderofdeath — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:06:23 EDT

@Secret Identity: O AN HE SEXY!

Sliderofdeath

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

BigTenObsession — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:06:05 EDT

@shea_guevara:

No, they just work for VH1.

BigTenObsession

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Secret Identity — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:02:11 EDT

BOI JOO NEE A JOB YOU CAN WORK FOR ARAH N SHOW HEEM ALL THE SHE MALE MUSCLAR TYPE!

Secret Identity

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

StevePerryPsychOut — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:00:41 EDT

@ClueHeywood: that would imply literacy, though

StevePerryPsychOut

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

I'm Hafner the man I used to be — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:00:31 EDT

@Burning River: That would be funny if it was spelled the same. -1 to me.

I'm Hafner the man I used to be

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

the earl of weaver — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:00:23 EDT

Needs more see-thru shirts.

No, wait. That came out all wrong.

the earl of weaver

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

ClueHeywood — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:00:00 EDT

I wonder if it was because Rob called Jose a "piece of shit" to a journalist?

ClueHeywood

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Jews For Purple Jesus — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:59:35 EDT

Jose: Money talks and Bullshit walks.
Ozzie: How can bullshit walk?

Jews For Purple Jesus

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Christ Sabo — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:58:55 EDT

That's odd. I was expecting a noble 'How.' from the former lawyer.

Christ Sabo

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

I'm Hafner the man I used to be — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:58:53 EDT

The most unbelievable part is, Jose still thinks he is owed money for having his name painted on the floor of the Pacers' home court.

I'm Hafner the man I used to be

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Gourmet Spud — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:58:44 EDT

@MattinglysSideburns:

A guy with sideburns as long as yours is in no place to be criticizing.

Gourmet Spud

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

shea_guevara — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:58:32 EDT

Rob got Jose an offer of $75,000 from a reality TV show that wanted to film Jose in a wheelchair for thirty days.

I'm gonna take a wild stab in the dark and guess that whatever producer thought this up has a profound coke habit.

shea_guevara

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

DumpsterDining — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:58:09 EDT

I once got a free 8 piece basket of wings for appearing in the local cable ad for Pete's Poultry Place. Based on the "results" later in the night, I'm glad I didn't negotiate the 15 piece basket.

DumpsterDining

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Doyle McPoyle — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:58:04 EDT

@Le K de K: But in Jose's case, all you'd get would be acne.

Doyle McPoyle

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Babcocksure — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:57:56 EDT

its like a bad movie where the same guy plays both two characters and just combs his hair differently for a disguise

Babcocksure

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:57:11 EDT

@Suss--: This wine has a great afterbirth?

Weed Against Speed

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

MattinglysSideburns — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:56:47 EDT

I still don't understand how Rob Saunooke thought he was going to get paid in the first place when it's clear that Jose spends all of his money on top-dollar haircuts.

MattinglysSideburns

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Gourmet Spud — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:56:40 EDT

You know you are a total dick when you have a falling out with your lawyer and people see him as the good guy.

Gourmet Spud

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

ltwinslow — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:56:17 EDT

things an attorney can do to get jose canseco to pay his attorney's bills...
a) wear more see through shirts
b) speak fucking english properly
c) book deal

ltwinslow

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Crookednose — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:56:10 EDT

Ozzie should sue Jose for image infringement

Crookednose

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

UkraineNotWeak — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:56:01 EDT

Ozzie Canseco offered to do it for the taco

UkraineNotWeak

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Matt Sussman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:55:46 EDT

I'll play your game, Lieutenant.

Matt Sussman

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Doug Llewelyn, Court Reporter — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:55:45 EDT

That is the worst picture of those whores from "Sister, Sister" I've ever seen.

Doug Llewelyn, Court Reporter

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

HebrewHammer — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:54:56 EDT

Watching Jose filmed in a wheelchair for 30 days would have been quality TV. It's a shame the world will never get to see it.

HebrewHammer

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:54:38 EDT

I hope he sues Canseco for back pay.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Camp Tiger Claw — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:54:29 EDT

"You're not Bill Clinton Jose."

No, that's the uber-patriotic Felix Jose's newborn son.

Camp Tiger Claw

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Babcocksure — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:54:20 EDT

Jose should take on the Dennis Rodman method of making money

play catch in yard $100

show bloody underwear $200

bang my wife $300

Babcocksure

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

ArmansCopyOfSwank — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:54:19 EDT

"Dude, I've got it! Twin porn!"

ArmansCopyOfSwank

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Whitey Fisk — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:53:51 EDT

@ltwinslow:

Maybe he negotiated a deal with Folgers?

Whitey Fisk

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Matt Sussman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:53:26 EDT

[looks at picture]

[looks away, splashes face with water]

[looks at picture]

Which one is ... !

Matt Sussman

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

I Party With 33765-183 — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:53:10 EDT

But did he bone Jose's wife?

I Party With 33765-183

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

ltwinslow — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:52:12 EDT

things more amusing than attorney's misuse of basic words such as "percolating", ready... go!

ltwinslow

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:52:06 EDT

The funny thing is Rob could never get Jose reservations at trendy restaurants.

Weed Against Speed

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Matt Sussman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:52:03 EDT

Nice to see Canseco using the often overlooked Niles Standish Method Of Haggling.

"What are you offering me? Now take that number and double it."

Matt Sussman

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

Gourmet Spud — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:51:37 EDT

Rob, if you are reading this, I will do anything Taco Bell wants me to do with a taco, and I'll do it for $50. Or 50 tacos, whichever is easiest.

Gourmet Spud

Jose Canseco's Lawyer Finally Released Into The Wild

The Diesel — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:50:43 EDT

canseco, a worse canseco.

The Diesel