Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc. - Deadspin Comments

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Jibby — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:48:39 EDT

My rhymes are delicious. They go over the middle like Joe Jurevicius.

Jibby

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

wishlish — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 20:23:32 EDT

According to the SI story, Sam's killer is actually in that video.

(I always give Kellerman a pass- any guy who appreciates Star Blazers and can give a passionate monologue about why drug laws are screwed up on sports radio is okay by me.)

wishlish

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

The Joy of Cesc — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 19:06:31 EDT

This is more Color Me Badd than Third Bass

The Joy of Cesc

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

blackheartededitor — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:59:01 EDT

Your words are the convicts
and I'm the rhyme jailer
I'll surprise you in the night
Like your name was Sean Taylor

too soon?

blackheartededitor

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

DwayneBoweCoalition — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:50:06 EDT

i'll school you so bad that'll you go out like budd dwyer
send pictures of your remains to the national enquirer
wait till your wife's asleep and set your bedroom on fire
kidnap your baby daughter, raise her as a hooker for hire

saw your grandmother at the pawn shop, hawking her junk
took the airtubes on her oyxgen tank and filled them with spunk
watched my spooge go up her nose in a gooey white chunk
choked her to death with my jizz, put her corpse in my trunk

your kid brother was in school, learnin' from teachers
until I took him to a convention of NAMBLA and preachers
tricked him out so the perverts could disgrace his features
now he walks with a waddle like flat-billed feathered creatures

DwayneBoweCoalition

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Michael Bertin — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:46:59 EDT

No one chokes a bitch like Zeke Thomas. He's more renegade than Lorenzo Lamas.

Michael Bertin

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

BigTenObsession — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:32:45 EDT

So I'm the only one who enjoyed it, then?

BigTenObsession

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

twoeightnine — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:23:47 EDT

My mustache is thinner than the Nile. Sticking it in your daughter's ass, pedophile.

twoeightnine

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Natrone Means Business — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:18:49 EDT

Fill up the beer bong and get ready to chug / when you party with Leinart, you better have big juggs.

Natrone Means Business

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

NovakAintNoJokovic — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:16:13 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: @PaulU: +1's to both of you.

That said, I'd rather be rickrolled than have to watch this video again.

NovakAintNoJokovic

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Laser Guided — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:15:46 EDT

if the rhymes you spit were any whacker
you would have a media approval like billy packer

Laser Guided

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

NovakAintNoJokovic — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:12:23 EDT

Dudes better step back when my hoes start squirmin
/ cuz I got a worse temper than your man Chris Berman

NovakAintNoJokovic

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

RBS — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:08:20 EDT

Hose it all down like OJ with the bleach/I'm assuming that this thread's not gonna please Leitch

RBS

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Put the F-ing Lotion in the Basket — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:07:56 EDT

Your rhymes are all so weak, all I can say is "Brotha Please!?"

Next one who brings that shit'll find em swimmin like Tom Mees.

Put the F-ing Lotion in the Basket

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Karlifornia — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:04:05 EDT

If you want your junk covered in guano,
become a movie star like Kaz Tadano

Karlifornia

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

DwayneBoweCoalition — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:02:44 EDT

If I ever make friends with a boxer, I'm going to make sure his nickname is Nerf Bat.

DwayneBoweCoalition

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Moobs — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:01:17 EDT

Can't believe I'm not banned for that shit about Ankiel
The Royal We must be asleep like LaRussa at the wheel

Moobs

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:59:47 EDT

Gonna step to the party, we always get loose

I'll bring the hatchet... who's got the Grey Goose?

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Moobs — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:58:54 EDT

I hate the Yankees like Ookie hates dogs
I drink more beers a day than Wade Boggs

Moobs

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

PaulU — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:58:24 EDT

This girl ignored my lines, so I had to stalk her/
It was like I was talking to myself, call me Herschel Walker.

PaulU

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Hernandez-is-the-Mandez — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:57:31 EDT

They call me Nyquil cause I'm putting heads to bed
I'll piss on your style like J.J. Reddick on a Duke coed.

Hernandez-is-the-Mandez

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

nanookdude — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:55:34 EDT

Next time i hear somebody mention how Kansas rock-chalk-jayhawked it,
i'm gonna drill 'em in the ass like my name was the Rocket

nanookdude

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:55:19 EDT

you're styles so weak that we all must mock it

i got that extra 5% like a vig from Rick Tocchet

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Kim_Jong_Illin — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:53:02 EDT

@Bullet_Tooth_Tony: Honestly, I was very surprised to see that we'd gone so long without it

Kim_Jong_Illin

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Moobs — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:52:58 EDT

The Celtics in the playoffs, the feeling's so unreal
So this is what Will feels like when he jacks it to Rick Ankiel

Moobs

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

DwayneBoweCoalition — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:52:07 EDT

Unfortunately, their cover of "Please Hammer, don't hurt `em" hasn't aged too well.

DwayneBoweCoalition

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:50:16 EDT

I'm comin' out hot, Handsomeface - the name

Like a certain Bobby B, y'all just pullin' up lame

/singlehandedly fulfills obligatory Barbaro reference-quota

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Bullet_Tooth_Tony — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:49:32 EDT

Dammit! Beaten to the closet on the Dookie reference!

Bullet_Tooth_Tony

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

RBS — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:49:30 EDT

Sittin in jail just like Mike Vick/Praying I don't have to touch another guy's dick

RBS

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Bullet_Tooth_Tony — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:48:31 EDT

When I get real drunk I sometimes say wierd things like "bort"...

Then I shit in the clothes hamper, just like Najeh Davenport.

Bullet_Tooth_Tony

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:46:00 EDT

I keep coming back just like I was a bad itch

I hang with more chill cats than my girl Dee Mirich

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Moobs — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:44:42 EDT

I clicked the link yesterday to approve Barkley
Cuz he's outspoken, he's smart, O AN HE SEXY

Moobs

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:42:38 EDT

Spud just got signed to a record deal

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Michael Bertin — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:42:21 EDT

@preciousroy: Oops. Should have read all of Aj's rhymes before posting.

Michael Bertin

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Gourmet Spud — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:41:57 EDT

I'm ignoring your stuff because it couldn't be blander

You're a weekend editor and I'm Rick Chandler

Gourmet Spud

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Kim_Jong_Illin — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:41:46 EDT

"I'm da maddest balla in dis whole damn sport; known for droppin dueces like Najeh Davenport"

Kim_Jong_Illin

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

McCroskey — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:39:59 EDT

Like A-Rod, I try to steal you wife
Like Paul Pierce, I'll stab you with a knife.

/tragically white dude

McCroskey

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Fundamentally UnSound — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:38:37 EDT

@Gourmet Spud: +1

Fundamentally UnSound

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Phony Gwynn — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:37:53 EDT

My words come at ya like a lyrical melee
They get ya lost at sea like Bison Dele

Phony Gwynn

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Fundamentally UnSound — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:37:42 EDT

"I'm alone at the top and you're somewhere in the middle/You get hit on and run like I was Leonard Little."

Fundamentally UnSound

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Gourmet Spud — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:37:39 EDT

Sit back down, son, I'm everything you're not

I'm looking right past you like my name was Stuart Scott

Gourmet Spud

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Michael Bertin — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:36:31 EDT

Get in my tub and drop a dos-ee / I want it brown just like Osi.

Michael Bertin

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Fundamentally UnSound — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:34:14 EDT

K-Fed is soooo stealing these.

Fundamentally UnSound

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Big Tuna — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:33:20 EDT

This band ain't got shit on "Chris Berman and the Jug-Band All-Stars"

Big Tuna

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:32:58 EDT

@Gourmet Spud: Nicely done.

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Lady Andrea — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:32:55 EDT

Sam and Max? Weren't they on the American Idol Results show last night?

Lady Andrea

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

LeNoceur — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:32:49 EDT

The girls I like are all underage
I learned from my homeboy Woody Paige

LeNoceur

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Rusty Cajun Ron — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:32:24 EDT

Ah the simile. Scores very high on the LRI (Lazy Rapper Index)

Rusty Cajun Ron

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Gourmet Spud — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:32:17 EDT

Your lyrics make no sense like they was spit by Emmitt Smith

Your Moises Alou's hands and I've got to take a piss

Gourmet Spud

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

MattinglysSideburns — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:32:11 EDT

"Splooge on your face, make it nice & gooey/Then I'll fissure your anus like Kaz Matsui".

/I don't write rhymes, I write checks.

/I write neither.

MattinglysSideburns

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

7th Floor King Dingaling — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:30:34 EDT

Ahhhhh! Nibbles got me

7th Floor King Dingaling

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

7th Floor King Dingaling — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:30:11 EDT

Marques Slocum's moves were high flyin / just like the fuck lion

7th Floor King Dingaling

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

7th Floor King Dingaling — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:29:25 EDT

Marques Slocum was high flyin/that's why he had the fuck lion

7th Floor King Dingaling

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Gourmet Spud — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:28:37 EDT

My rhymes are so slick all the ladies want to friend me

Gettin' all up in them like Graham James and Sheldon Kennedy

Gourmet Spud

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

7th Floor King Dingaling — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:28:31 EDT

I made it though the 1st heat, that's why they call me blit meat

7th Floor King Dingaling

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Jim_Ed_isabadman — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:27:19 EDT

"I'll beat your ass behind the tool shed/Then use my hammer to explode your head."

No?

Jim_Ed_isabadman

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

MrSinlinlin — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:25:26 EDT

Had never seen this before, but...

this...

is...

off...

the...

left hook!!!!!!

MrSinlinlin

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:24:34 EDT

"Sam & Max," huh?

Was their music played over the loudspeakers on the Cone of Tragedy?

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

strong like bull smart like tractor — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:24:22 EDT

Even when the haters say my lyrics are shoddy

It still makes me more famous, like Jay Mariotti

strong like bull smart like tractor

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

SagerBombs — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:24:05 EDT

I fly high like an American Idol

You fly at the level of my boy Cory Lidle

SagerBombs

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

kayceebk — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:23:00 EDT

Sidenote: The producer who did their beat must be soooo pissed it was wasted on House of Lame instead of House of Pain or an actual talented duo.

kayceebk

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Proverbial — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:21:23 EDT

Sam Kellerman is the white Tupac.

Proverbial

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

Spanish Necktie — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:19:17 EDT

Each and every night I give it to my hos.

I clang it off the rim like my name is Derek Rose.

Spanish Necktie

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

kayceebk — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:17:23 EDT

Brilliant tag job, AJ

kayceebk

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.

MattinglysSideburns — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:16:53 EDT

"When it comes to bananas, I always choose Dole/I'll vomit on you during coitus like Ashley Cole."

MattinglysSideburns