Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine" - Deadspin Comments

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Barry Lutz — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:20:31 EDT

How did I not know about this before today?

Barry Lutz

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

starksgotejected — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 16:07:16 EDT

Wow, Charlie Sheen has really let himself go.

No, I'm serious. Have you seen him recently? He looks awful. It's sad.

starksgotejected

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

blastitbiggs — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:15:33 EDT

Emilo is busy in the lockerroom taping Danny Pintauro's buttcheeks together.

blastitbiggs

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

PantsUnknown — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:12:55 EDT

@Raskolnikov: Perfectly played

Also, why'd they film this in my old middle school gym?

PantsUnknown

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

SundaySunday — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 14:06:09 EDT

Not to be outdone, the WNBA have announced that Diana Taurasi will be taking on Ashley and Naomi Judd.

SundaySunday

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

SeaSalt — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:46:16 EDT

Michael and Kirk Douglas would have gotten their asses kicked

SeaSalt

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

The Ronettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:40:48 EDT

@Gordon Bombay: I dunno....banging Paula Abdul?

The Ronettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Gordon Bombay — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:32:54 EDT

And where the hell was I for this?

Gordon Bombay

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

DumpDolan — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:29:22 EDT

Jordan would have won if he had Woody Harrelson on his team.

DumpDolan

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

hockalees — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:24:01 EDT

Still not better than the episode where George Brett took on Henry and Peter Fonda in a game of pepper.

hockalees

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

MrMoustache — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:23:08 EDT

Ever wonder what Charlie Sheen did in between "Platoon" and "Hot Shots" besides Heidi Fleiss and a lot of blow? Neither did I...

MrMoustache

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Jefferson Short Bus — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:18:10 EDT

"La maquina de los Estevez" doesn't scan as well.

Jefferson Short Bus

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

broad street bully — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:13:34 EDT

@The Ronettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History: At least it was taped sans Cuba Gooding. I f'n hate those commercials.

broad street bully

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

David Hume — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:11:55 EDT

"If you're interested in seeing the complete unedited "War of the Stars" episode"...

And really, who isn't...

David Hume

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Little Lebowski Urban Achiever — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:10:38 EDT

@Matt_T: +1! Still laughing.

Little Lebowski Urban Achiever

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

tweezer — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:09:26 EDT

Great play by play from KITT

tweezer

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

tweezer — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:08:00 EDT

Was that narrorated by KITT?!?

tweezer

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

goathair — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:07:46 EDT

Emilio was busy hanging out with Steve and Doug Butabi.

goathair

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Slothrop — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:07:43 EDT

At least the Sheens didn't wear cargo pants to play 2 on 1.

Slothrop

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

The Ronettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:07:26 EDT

Somebody once wrote: 'Hell is the impossibility of reason.' That's what this video feels like. Hell.

The Ronettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

reigningbloodysox — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:07:18 EDT

Nothing against the other MJ but I'm thinking Charlie could have been a damn good teen wolf.

reigningbloodysox

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

The Fan’s Attic — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:06:56 EDT

It really took some luster off of the Sheen victory when it was discovered that Michael fixed the match to cover his gambling debts.

The Fan’s Attic

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:06:37 EDT

So what you're saying Will, is that if John Calipari had Charlie Sheen on the FT line late in the game, he would've won the National Championship? Chris Douglas-Roberts does not approve.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Sliderofdeath — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:06:27 EDT

Shades of Michael Cooper!

Sliderofdeath

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Wolf Blitzer — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:05:41 EDT

this was good...but the episode where Bill Laimbeer destroyed and picked apart Joan and Melissa Rivers is much better

Wolf Blitzer

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

UkraineNotWeak — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:05:29 EDT

I hope someone finds the tape of Wayne Gretzky taking on the Lander Sisters in a game of Shootout.

UkraineNotWeak

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Mo Vaughn Revolution — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:03:36 EDT

Martin Sheen would probably play better if he fell off a building beforehand.

Mo Vaughn Revolution

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Raskolnikov — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:02:22 EDT

Was this the real premise for 'Two and a Half Men?'

No, this is the pilot for Two and Three Fifths Men.

Raskolnikov

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Hit Bull Win Steak — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:01:25 EDT

Next up; Robert Downey Jr. tries to "out-coke" LT.

Hit Bull Win Steak

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

André Roussimoff — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:00:28 EDT

I loved you in Wall Street!

André Roussimoff

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Weed Against Speed — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:59:40 EDT

So, who sprung for the hookers afterward?

Weed Against Speed

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Gourmet Spud — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:59:31 EDT

The young girls here really like Charlie.

Charlie: Cash or credit?

Gourmet Spud

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Slothrop — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:59:22 EDT

Say what you will about their basketball abilities, but the Sheens always put on a great show and attract the big crowds.

Slothrop

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Doyle McPoyle — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:59:02 EDT

Hookers all over the greater Los Angeles area's hearts still skip a beat when you utter the phrase "The Sheen Machine".

Doyle McPoyle

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:58:54 EDT

That is a healthy crowd on hand

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

HebrewHammer — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:58:51 EDT

Is this one of the deleted scenes from Wall Street?

HebrewHammer

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

SEC gal — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:58:49 EDT

@SEC gal: Mighty

SEC gal

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:58:15 EDT

I am Josiah Bartlett, and I approve this message.

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

SEC gal — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:58:08 EDT

MJ should have played Emilio Estevez. At least he has some sports experience, what with coaching the Might Ducks and all.

SEC gal

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Afino — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:55:44 EDT

@Matt_T:

Nicely done. +1.

Afino

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Gourmet Spud — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:55:32 EDT

Jordan: Sheens, I'm home.

(laughter)

Martin: Already?

(mild laughter)

Jordan: Yes.

(explosive laughter)

Gourmet Spud

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Matt_T — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:53:35 EDT

I look forward to the 08 remake. LeBron vs. The Cyrus Virus (Miley and Billy Ray)

Matt_T

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Spanish Necktie — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:53:25 EDT

Did they think it would be unfair if Emilio Estevez was added to the squad?

Spanish Necktie

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Dr. Spaceman, Esq. — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:52:58 EDT

Lets get the most dynamic player of his generation - and make he shoot freethrows.

Dr. Spaceman, Esq.

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

Civil Negligence — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:52:37 EDT

Was the wife happy that he taped 'The Sheen Machine' over the wedding video?

Civil Negligence

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

shea_guevara — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:51:37 EDT

I thought War of the Stars was one of those Marvel Comics multi-title crossover events.

Next up, Hakeem Olajuwon in Days of Future Past!

/pushes glasses up nose

shea_guevara

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"

sassydeerrun — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:50:48 EDT

Was this the real premise for 'Two and a Half Men?'

sassydeerrun