Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche - Deadspin Comments

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

DunkHawk — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:24:45 EDT

As always, Delino DeShields is the voice of reason.

DunkHawk

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 16:36:30 EDT

I've seen a naked Tommy Lasorda chanting rap music in a visitor's clubhouse; Joe Morgan (BoSox) called my hometown a shitbox; Mike Krzyzewski ripped me a new one for asking a stupid question about UNC. A monthlong feud with an NC State basketball player almost ended in my ass being kicked.

All of this shit is true, and all of it happened before I turned 21. Which means none of it is really that rare, nor for the matter, is it anything other than a detail in a larger story that seems to be missing from this series.

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Forkball — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:30:10 EDT

So basically your life peaked when you cursed at a ballplayer nobody remembers?

Forkball

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Bring Me The Head of Karim Garcia — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 12:09:43 EDT

@josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance...:

I was thinking more of a verbal confrontation along the lines of:

"Hey, you. Flip over your press pass. Ooooh, just as I thought. Jeff Pearlmanstein Ben-Gurian! TMQ wants to know why it was flipped over. TMQ is about to write down 'Another one of the self-hating variety' in his notebook."

(Pearlman stalks off haughtily, already polishing his hard-hitting reply, which will be dispensed in devastating fashion eight years later)

Bring Me The Head of Karim Garcia

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Storming the Floor — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 09:58:07 EDT

All it's going to take for this feature to go meta- is for one of these guys to get a commenting account and duke it out with the commentariat. Then the next entry will be "Then Arkansas Fred said my story was weak, and I retorted 'Screw you, you stupid Arkie!'. Then someone made a Barbaro joke I didn't understand".

Storming the Floor

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Storming the Floor — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 09:50:43 EDT

@Carlton_Whitfield: Yeah, actually, the Delino bit made my day.

What I'm looking for in here is an athlete run-in that reads like "The Stranger". Gunned down with no remorse.

Storming the Floor

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

broad street bully — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 08:49:04 EDT

I swear you guys just like to write "douche" no matter what the topic.

broad street bully

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Unamerican — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 03:53:10 EDT

"Shut up, he explained." --Ring Lardner

Unamerican

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Body by Sabathia — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 01:47:06 EDT

@SpiroAgnewsGhost:

He already did call out a current player. In fact, he wrote a whole fucking book that called out Barry Bonds.

Body by Sabathia

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 22:43:32 EDT

@Charles_Brandon_Arroyo: In a physical confrontation? Perlman wins in a walk. I just saw an (updated) headshot of Easterbrook -- none of that c. '95 ESPN: Page 2: TMQ shite with the ascot -- & player is a straight-up chump. Also, I should never use the same photographer as the Brookings Institute's 2005/06 Guidebook. Last, if I still remembered Gregggggg's personal e:mail, I'd post it, here. I do know it's a Compuserve address, though.... Really, Greggggggg?

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Rufus On Fire - David — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:16:29 EDT

I've come to respect Pearlman's overall project, even if I don't agree with specific positions he takes, but this story is downright weird. Clark, long-rumored racist (and longtime deny-er of said racism), refuses to talk to a reporter after the reporter wrote a sensational piece that some suspected blindsided, and unfairly took advantage of, a prominent ballplayer by publicly airing that player's bigoted comments. Of course Clark is gonna be wary of Pearlman. Maybe, just maybe, Clark and other ballplayers aren't necessarily being "schoolyard bullies", but instead recognize that they are whatever reporters say they are, and they're not just going to stand by and let some random dude determine for the public that they're jerks.

Rufus On Fire - David

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

IchiroSuzukiSamurai — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:14:53 EDT

@7th Floor King Dingaling: If your zaide's a she, you got major problems.

IchiroSuzukiSamurai

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Dave J. — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:40:24 EDT

@Rob Iracane: This piece is one Marquis Grissom reference away from a Pulitzer.

Dave J.

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

calmasacucumber — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:33:58 EDT

what a couple of pussies.

calmasacucumber

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

BillyMumphry — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:16:12 EDT

Is the audience for "lifetime dork (supposedly) tells off professional athlete" so large that this deserved space? My Will Clark opinion stays firmly neutral but I'm selling Pearlman. And when does being a 33 yr old anything make you a veteran? (masturbation aside)

BillyMumphry

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

How do I say this ... THROWDINI! — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:00:06 EDT

@insomniac: Yep. When reading about Delino throwing Pearlman a lifeline, all I could think was "Motherfucking Delino-for-Pedro trade. If only shitty Jody Reed would have been smart enough to take the 3-year contract we offered him, we wouldn't have traded away Pedro for a second basemen. Fuck you Jody Reed and your stupid agent."

How do I say this ... THROWDINI!

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

dismalScientist — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:39:17 EDT

Do you want to know the terrifying truth? Or do you want to see me sock a few dingers!

dismalScientist

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Grandjester — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:21:51 EDT

@Timber, His Arms Wide: +1701

Grandjester

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Bring Me The Head of Karim Garcia — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:14:59 EDT

Instead of this crap, you should do "The Dark Side of the Press Box." First round: Pearlman vs. Easterbrook.

Bring Me The Head of Karim Garcia

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Bullshooter — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:49:12 EDT

Weintraub > Pearlman ???

Bullshooter

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

morrisalmondjoy — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:49:06 EDT

can we also have a series on athletes sharing their contentious triumphs over sportswriters/jay marriotti?

morrisalmondjoy

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:30:00 EDT

"What are you doing here, anyway?"
Someone tell Jerry Rice when he tries to show up for another NFL training camp

The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

SpiroAgnewsGhost — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:26:55 EDT

The questions remains -- unanswered -- why should Clark talk to Pearlman? What's in it for him? And since Pearlman obviously harbors a grudge many years later, this sounds like a setup to me. It takes hamster balls to rag on a reporter, and it takes hamster balls to stand up to a club exec who's no longer playing. Will Clark can no longer help Pearlman, because nobody cares about him anymore, just like nobody cares about [fill in the blank]'s traveling secretary. I'd be more impressed if he called out someone who is a) playing and b) a name. Clark's no doubt a jerk, just like Rocker, but Pearlman is clearly a jerk as well. Jeff: don't shit where you eat and all will be well.

SpiroAgnewsGhost

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

insomniac — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:23:20 EDT

Loyal Dodgers fans (there are a few) cringe at the name Delino Deshields, who Los Angeles acquired from Montreal in exchange for a young pitcher named Pedro Martinez, who I think turned out to be an OK player.

insomniac

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

stevenj_3 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:13:33 EDT

Where was the cackling? Shouldn't the name of the article just be, Will Clarke is a douche?

stevenj_3

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Johnny LaRue — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:11:43 EDT

@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!:

that was just god's way of testing him, I'm sure.

Or else it was karma's way of saying "ease up on the john birch juice" (look what happened to eric show....)

Johnny LaRue

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Jubilation T. Cornpone — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:11:36 EDT

As much as I thank Will Clark for beating the Cubs like a drum in '89, his voice is still way to high-pitched for my tastes.

Jubilation T. Cornpone

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

phillas — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:10:54 EDT

@Stev D: I like this feature, though I was hoping for more colorful language. "Screw you?" Methinks an f-bomb was filtered here.
And good ol' Clark: loved in the bay area, hated pretty much everywhere else.

phillas

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Gourmet Spud — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:02:50 EDT

@hebmskebm:

Toss mine on there as well.

Gourmet Spud

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Billy Clyde Puckett — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:02:44 EDT

It takes a really special kind of person to be in a troika with John Rocker and come off looking like the worst person IN that troika.

Billy Clyde Puckett

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

hozzleshank — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:00:18 EDT

@StartingAces: Am I the only guy who thought it looked like Upper Deck used a drunk little monkey to do the air-brushing on its cards?

Likely.

hozzleshank

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Bunkie Perkins — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:59:37 EDT

Conversly, Will Clark whole heartedly approved of Kevin Mitchell's treatment of cats.

Bunkie Perkins

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

JoeyBellesGPS — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:56:02 EDT

Rhea Perlman stood up the Sam Malone all the time. Who gives a shit?

JoeyBellesGPS

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

suntastic — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:53:44 EDT

I would have preferred a fart in the face to the Will Clark treatment.

suntastic

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

GibbonJockey — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:52:51 EDT

The tobacco juice-spitting, captain of eyeblack with a memory longer than Stomper, mascot of his opponents across the Bay, retorted with little substance. A peevish 'yup' his only utterance.

"A pox on your house" I said and retired, my honour and mettle restored.

/weintraubed

GibbonJockey

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah! — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:49:12 EDT

@Johnny LaRue: attitudes that even Dave Dravecky would consider extreme? Like thoughts about two-armed people?

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

suntastic — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:48:47 EDT

So, Will, basically what you're saying is, "LEAVE JOHN ROCKER ALONE! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Is that a fair assessment?

suntastic

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

WadeBoggsNeverWalkedAgain — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:46:17 EDT

I can now add Will Clark on to my list of people that have defended John Rocker. The list as it stands now:

Will Clark
My Grandpa

WadeBoggsNeverWalkedAgain

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

McNutty — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:45:22 EDT

Welcome to this week's episode of Athletes and Sportswriters Trade Lame Insults.

McNutty

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

MenaceIISobriety — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:45:04 EDT

that's how they tell off a ball player...the Western District Way.
-Wire'd

MenaceIISobriety

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

J-No — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:44:48 EDT

I believe the proper retort was, "Well, my dad can beat up your dad."

J-No

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:44:00 EDT

Oh, Will Smith, Jeffrey Leonard called. He's STILL gonna whup your ass

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

StartingAces — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:43:45 EDT

>
Hey new feature! Let's post a topical picture.

StartingAces

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

2ndBase — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:42:53 EDT

I dont care what anyone says, especially Jeff Pearlman, but, Will Clark rules.

2ndBase

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

VTBen — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:40:19 EDT

All I remembered about Will Clark before this post was that he has 20/13 vision. No wonder he's such a douche... great story, Pearlman.

VTBen

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:39:36 EDT

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: Jim Schoenfeld approves.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

The Fan’s Attic — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:39:24 EDT

@Stev D: I actually like the feature as well, it could just use better stories. Things like an athlete blew their nose on my shirt so I pissed in his shoes when his back was turned.

However, it's a feature that even if the stories aren't good we are left with ample material to make fun of the teller of the story.

The Fan’s Attic

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

crazyjoedavola — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:37:46 EDT

@shea_guevara: Or even string together a sentence without mispronouncing a word. My favorite Russo moments are when he asks the fat guy to pronounce a word for him. My 7 yr old and I have similar moments.

crazyjoedavola

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:36:10 EDT

Ya should've just tossed him a jelly donut.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Stev D — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:36:07 EDT

Am I in the minority* here? I really like this feature.

*Opinion, not race. So don't get upset Mr. Clark.

Stev D

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

AkAggie — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:35:08 EDT

Are these being compiled for Will's next book 'Things Sportswriter's Told Each Other They Said While Gathered Around the Buffet Bullshitting: and Other Oh Snap Moment's In Sportswriting History'?

AkAggie

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

verbal213 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:35:00 EDT

How to write a Jeff Pearlman article. (See everything he's every written for Page 2)

Athletes are dumb. I am smart. I wish athletes weren't so dumb, but they are. Also, they are commonly conservative and have too much money, which, of course, I, as a person who literally creates public interest in professional sports, having nothing to do with. Because I'm smart.

Or, in the alternative...

Make specious connections between sports and some liberal cause, ie U of Delaware is racist because they don't play Delaware State in football, even though they play DSU in other sports.

Whatever. Good for him for standing up to Will Clark, who apparently is an unconscionable douche. It doesn't change my opinion of Pearlman, however.

verbal213

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

shea_guevara — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:32:46 EDT

How dare, you Jeff Pearlman! How dare you write down what a guy said to you on the record! What you think you are, a reporter or something?

@The Teufel Shuffle: I wish. You wanna see Chris Russo get into a real fit, ask him to pronounce "Phillies" or Eric Gagne's last name.

shea_guevara

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

GreatOdensRaven — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:32:26 EDT

So I says to the guy, I says, "Yeah, well you suck." I mean, I didn't say it exactly like that, but I swear I was thinking it.
-paraphrasing every "Dark Side" story thus far

GreatOdensRaven

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:31:39 EDT

@Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast: Hey, read all the comments before you comment, asswipe.

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Sheepblog — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:31:37 EDT

That account had an oakey afterbirth

Sheepblog

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:31:07 EDT

@Rob Iracane: You could always try the "jerk store" defense.

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Vandermint — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:30:54 EDT

Sooo...Will Clark yelled at a reporter? And 6 years later, the reporter was still upset over it?

I wouldn't look for this little segment in the Deadspin HOF.

Vandermint

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

BallHawk — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:30:49 EDT

Do the mountains still turn blue to let me know when it's ready to drink?

BallHawk

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:30:11 EDT

@crazyjoedavola: FUCK!

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:29:52 EDT

Screw you," Clark said. "You ..."

I interrupted him. "No, screw you"

I would have preferred "The jerkstore called..." That or you should have said you slept with his wife.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

blastitbiggs — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:29:08 EDT

I would have countered with "well, double dumbass on you!"

blastitbiggs

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:27:54 EDT

@Secret Identity: Please DeSist with these DePlorable puns.

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

SteveJeltzFan — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:27:04 EDT

@Laser Guided: I'd say this whole series needs more Zeke Mowatt.

SteveJeltzFan

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

EddieRebel — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:26:33 EDT

As a 25 year old unmarried, nonparent who has never been in a locker room - do I have to take shit from beer gutted has beens?

EddieRebel

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Afino — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:25:49 EDT

@Camp Tiger Claw:

You are the ones who are the ball lickers!

Afino

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

The Fan’s Attic — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:24:39 EDT

@crazyjoedavola: I would have loved to have seen/read the reaction if Pearlman had retorted, "Well, I had sex with your wife" to Clark.

The Fan’s Attic

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

starksgotejected — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:23:40 EDT

I liked Will Clark when I was a kid. I collected his baseball cards and tried to imitate his batting stance.

Then I found he liked to drink lots of beer. So I started to drink lots of beer. And I liked it too.

These days, I can't remember much about Will Clark.

starksgotejected

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Secret Identity — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:23:37 EDT

@Rob Iracane:

Delino will DeStroy your credibility, leaving you unable to DeFend yourself from DeFeat.

Secret Identity

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Johnny LaRue — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:23:24 EDT

It's pretty common knowledge out here--even conceded by Giant fans still willing to defend Bonds--that ol' bayou willie has some "attitudes" that even Dave Dravecky might consider a little extreme. For some reason he gets a pass, though. I guess he has Bonds to thank for that. Never liked this overrated jackoff and his skinny little arms.

Johnny LaRue

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

GorgeForeman — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:23:23 EDT

@Rob Iracane:

Be sure to emphasize the "you", or you'll just confuse everyone.

You're welcome.

GorgeForeman

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Babcocksure — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:22:56 EDT

oh yeah? Well my Dad can beat up your Dad!

Babcocksure

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:21:48 EDT

I had a Will Clark poster as a kid.

/As useless a comment as this column.

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Jezzies-Scare-Me — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:21:47 EDT

Can't wait for "Balls Deep" to appear on the Budweiser Hot Seat.

Jezzies-Scare-Me

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

kayceebk — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:21:36 EDT

Pearlman's a good reporter, but he can be a little self-important in his columns.

kayceebk

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Natrone Means Business — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:21:13 EDT

Delino Deshields is a snitch, Melo ain't friends with him, that's for sure.

Natrone Means Business

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

crazyjoedavola — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:20:52 EDT

@The Fan's Attic: It's no jerk store, thats for sure.

crazyjoedavola

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

FredGarvin — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:20:50 EDT

Nice one, Jeff. Stick it to that stupid redncek. - BBonds762

FredGarvin

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

iamlovebot — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:20:14 EDT

@Steve518: will clark had hepatitis?

iamlovebot

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

The Fan’s Attic — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:20:09 EDT

@Rob Iracane: You and Will Clark both.

The Fan’s Attic

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

jwaves2007 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:19:50 EDT

Great job, all we ask for is the reason you got yelled at. Now if you will excuse me I am going to have a Coors light.

jwaves2007

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

I Party With 33765-183 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:19:34 EDT

Pedro Gomez once stood up* to Bonds like that.

*Stood up in this instance meaning refusing to swallow. He finished with his hands.

I Party With 33765-183

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Sh!tShow — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:18:54 EDT

@Rob Iracane: When do you plan on facing DeFamation of character?

Sh!tShow

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Dead Air ummm Dead Air — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:18:38 EDT

And this relates to Pros vs Joes how?

Dead Air ummm Dead Air

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Camp Tiger Claw — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:18:12 EDT

@Rob Iracane: Remind me never to turn in a paper to him without a bibliography.

Camp Tiger Claw

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

The Fan’s Attic — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:17:33 EDT

That was absolutely Costanzan in its pathetic-ness.

The Fan’s Attic

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Rob Iracane — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:16:49 EDT

Remind me never to use Delino DeShields as a character witness.

Rob Iracane

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Camp Tiger Claw — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:16:33 EDT

No! YOU are the fuck jerk person!

Camp Tiger Claw

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

The Teufel Shuffle — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:16:17 EDT

Chris Russo just read this and went into an epileptic fit.

The Teufel Shuffle

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Carlton_Whitfield — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:16:14 EDT

Any day we get a Delino DeShields reference is a good day.

Carlton_Whitfield

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

poutineandgravy — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:16:05 EDT

Didn't tWWL prohibit its contributors from even visiting the Underground?

poutineandgravy

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:15:52 EDT

Delino DeShields had 4 hits in his first major league game.

I think.

Or else his Donruss rookie card with the green border lied to me back in the day

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

SlickBomb — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:15:00 EDT

I thought these might be like the old-school Deadspin "Athlete Run-ins"

I was wrong. Keep on shoveling the lame, Balls. It looks like it's all we got here.

SlickBomb

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

drewheyman — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:14:58 EDT

if you two girls wanna dance, we can turn the lights down some.

drewheyman

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Laser Guided — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:14:54 EDT

needs more hugh douglas.

Laser Guided

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Doyle McPoyle — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:14:30 EDT

The Bad Guys Won kicked ass. I was half-hoping this was gonna be about the time Kevin Mitchell decapitated your pets, though.

Doyle McPoyle

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Rob Iracane — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:14:30 EDT

"Screw you," Clark said. "You ..."

I interrupted him. "No, screw you"

I am going to write that down on a notecard and carry that notecard around with me in case someone ever says "screw you" to me and I need a snappy comeback.

Rob Iracane

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

StreakinTheQuad — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:14:23 EDT

Big Gulps... huh? All right!

StreakinTheQuad

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

Silky John-STON! — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:14:06 EDT

"You gotta consider the source"

OH, SNAP! THAT WAS THE BEST BURN OF THIS WHOLE RUNNING SERIES.

Silky John-STON!

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

muggsybogues — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:13:52 EDT

Now THIS we can use. It's a scary place, sometimes, diddling around with a press pass.

muggsybogues

Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche

7th Floor King Dingaling — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:13:51 EDT

Jeff Pearlman is just a liberal Jew with an agenda. He Sussman, where are you going for sedar? I'll be at my zaide's. She makes the best matzo ball soup!

7th Floor King Dingaling