Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry - Deadspin Comments

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 22:10:30 EDT

@StevePerryPsychOut: Awesome. +1 @Clare: To which version are you referring -- original, Shades Apart cover, or Marilyn Manson cover?

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

econdave — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:04:20 EDT

Tainted muffins > Tainted muffin tops

econdave

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

BigJimSlade — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:40:32 EDT

@StuScott Booyahs: I was going to hash it out a bit more before posting, but got caught in a jam.

BigJimSlade

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

StevePerryPsychOut — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:39:03 EDT

Muffin Stubble Girl is already on the case

StevePerryPsychOut

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Matt Sussman — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:38:34 EDT

"You might want to seek full time employment. Just a thought."

But the futon in my parents basement is SOOOOOO comfy! [hugs body pillow]

Matt Sussman

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

PantsUnknown — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:36:49 EDT

So, chocolate muffins are now part of an olympic diet regimen? Mangino is intrigued, and wishes to find a luge that will hold him.

PantsUnknown

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:30:13 EDT

@goathair: Or a disease-infested porn star.

Which, I suppose, is redundant.

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

7th Floor King Dingaling — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:29:46 EDT

Tap the Rockies...

7th Floor King Dingaling

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

StuScott Booyahs — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:26:26 EDT

@BigJimSlade: Muffin humor?

StuScott Booyahs

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:24:56 EDT

@Suss--: Will they find them? We canoli hope.

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

gunga galunga gunga - gunga galunga — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:23:30 EDT

"Why don't you eat up and we'll tell ya!"

gunga galunga gunga - gunga galunga

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:22:44 EDT

Maybe the muffins were being baked for criminals in a minimum security prison with file-cabinet style locks?

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Chief Wahoo — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:22:39 EDT

Great. When do we invade Office Depot?

Chief Wahoo

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Paul Zuvella — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:22:17 EDT

A group of ragged men were heard outside the University wondering (in unison) "who could it be now?" Turns out they were just panhandling and weren't actually talking about the tainted muffins.

Paul Zuvella

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

RachelRayIsTheDevil — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:22:02 EDT

@Suss--: You might want to seek full time employment. Just a thought.

RachelRayIsTheDevil

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

SpandexEnthusiast — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:21:51 EDT

Olympic Sabatoge?!?! I'm thinking Tonya Harding is at the top of the suspect list right now...

SpandexEnthusiast

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Sh!tShow — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:21:27 EDT

@Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: Get a Carfax Report! Otherwise the description may read, "Minor confectionery damage."

Sh!tShow

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:20:58 EDT

Yeah, Suss, could you drop them off later? I told Snorg Tee girl she could come by to watch them. I think she's into me.

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

UkraineNotWeak — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:20:38 EDT

Tainted Love > Tainted Muffins

UkraineNotWeak

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

phillas — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:20:03 EDT

@The Ronettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History: on vacation...with refreshing Coors Light.

phillas

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

BigJimSlade — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:19:15 EDT

@Suss--: I hope they lox em up and throw away the key.

BigJimSlade

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

UkraineNotWeak — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:19:15 EDT

A tainted muffin usually requires a shot of pencillin or valtrax depending on how it is tainted.

UkraineNotWeak

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

hockalees — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:19:10 EDT

Finally a post on Gawker where "tainted muffins" doesn't refer to Lindsay, Britney or Paris.

hockalees

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

The Ronettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:18:48 EDT

stood down with pay

Isn't that kinda like being on vacation?

The Ronettes Sing Medieval Agrarian History

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

crazyjoedavola — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:18:19 EDT

John Adams would have just sat there and cried. According to HBO, the man cries more than Mark Messier

crazyjoedavola

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:18:15 EDT

Can anyone get the number of the sign in the picture?
I wasn't really interested in the car, but throw in that 6 foot wide muffin? Sold.

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Sh!tShow — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:17:58 EDT

@Secret Identity: +1.

Sh!tShow

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

The Fan’s Attic — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:17:47 EDT

Tainted Muffin > Tainted Muff?

But, where does Tainted Love fit in?

Oh, in the Tainted Muff.

The Fan’s Attic

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Matt Sussman — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:17:36 EDT

That reminds me, Sir H of H, do you want your Aqua Teen DVDs back?

Matt Sussman

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Gourmet Spud — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:17:35 EDT

@Suss--:

Even so, I bet they end up stumped.

Gourmet Spud

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Sh!tShow — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:17:18 EDT

@CreamsicleOrange: Or your parents, for that matter.

Sh!tShow

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

ASox — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:17:11 EDT

Seriously though, when an Aussie says "paper clip" it sounds just like "chocolate chip." I'm sure the muffin workers just misunderstood the recipe.

ASox

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:16:42 EDT

You know what the perpetrators should have put in the muffins? Some refreshing, ice-cold Coors Light.

Sorry. I just blacked out. What happened?

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Gourmet Spud — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:16:38 EDT

Nice pic.

It's huge, that guy's tainted muffin!

Gourmet Spud

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

IsoldmysoultoMilhouseVanhouten — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:16:32 EDT

Were they eating at Cunningham Muffins?

(If you can get on youtube, search for cunningham muffins.)

IsoldmysoultoMilhouseVanhouten

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Matt Sussman — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:16:20 EDT

I hear the investigators are dead serious. They said they will leave no scone unturned.

Matt Sussman

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Clare — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:16:15 EDT

Sometimes I feel I've got to (uh uh) run away I've got to (uh uh) get away From the paper clips you bake in the heart of my muffins

Clare

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

BigJimSlade — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:15:39 EDT

What next? Staples in Mini-Muffins?

BigJimSlade

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

stealofthedraft — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:14:57 EDT

Tainted muffins>Coors Light

stealofthedraft

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Afino — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:14:55 EDT

Taint Makes Jesus Cry

Afino

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:14:53 EDT

What would you like to do?

Taint muffin supply

[Options] [Search]

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Paul Zuvella — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:14:36 EDT

This is awful. When I talk about the Olympics I don't want to talk about muffins and paper clips. I want to talk about power, love and dreams.

Paul Zuvella

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

sassydeerrun — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:14:18 EDT

I'll bet Carl Monday is all over this.

sassydeerrun

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

StuScott Booyahs — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:14:00 EDT

Oh how could one taint the morning tea! Is nothing sacred!

StuScott Booyahs

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

stealofthedraft — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:13:36 EDT

Those muffins are metallicious!

stealofthedraft

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Secret Identity — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:13:02 EDT

Is there a Staples on Drury Lane?

Secret Identity

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

suntastic — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:13:00 EDT

Three workers from the Dunder Mifflin factory of muffin supplier Merlo Kitchen Catering Company have been stood down with pay following the incident /fixed

suntastic

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

CreamsicleOrange — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:11:44 EDT

Better than pubes I suppose.

CreamsicleOrange

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Gourmet Spud — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:11:39 EDT

But you can never find one when you need it.

Gourmet Spud

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

martyfunkhauser — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:11:36 EDT

Sounds like Jim Halpert took it a little too far this time.

martyfunkhauser

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

goathair — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:11:23 EDT

Tainted Muffins would be a great name for a terrible jam band.

goathair

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Carlton_Whitfield — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:11:17 EDT

"Oh, great. Giant muffin on the car. That really ups the resale value."

Carlton_Whitfield

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

starksgotejected — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:11:07 EDT

I can't believe they were only stood down! They should have been sacked on the spot.

starksgotejected

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:10:57 EDT

More paperclips means more iron.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

7th Floor King Dingaling — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:10:53 EDT

@Its The Beer Talking: Top o' the muffin TO YOU!

7th Floor King Dingaling

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:10:26 EDT

Now with a jagged metal Krusty O in every box!

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

BigJimSlade — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:10:25 EDT

Complaining about paperclips? Whatta bunch of cupcakes

BigJimSlade

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

parker91 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:10:00 EDT

Of course we left the paper clips in. If we took the paper clips out, they wouldn't be crunchy.

parker91

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

GorgeForeman — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:09:56 EDT

Sounds like a job for the Mighty MJD.

GorgeForeman

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Its The Beer Talking — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:09:25 EDT

Top o' the muffin to you!

Its The Beer Talking

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

ltwinslow — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:09:18 EDT

if by "paper clips" you mean mescalin, then that happened to me once

ltwinslow

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

sassydeerrun — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:09:14 EDT

None of this would have happened if they had been eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

sassydeerrun

Tainted Muffins Make Jesus Cry

Rob Iracane — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:08:50 EDT

Aren't baked goods normally tainted with laxatives and not office supplies?

Rob Iracane