Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend - Deadspin Comments

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Jay-C — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:56:20 EDT

When did NPR go the Howard Stern route and ask Cal about his wife's sex life...that's the last station I would have expected to clear their issue up...

Jay-C

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

J-No — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 19:48:28 EDT

I always loved the one about the girl sho tried to pleasure herself with a hot dog and it got stuck in there.

/this actually happens, I know an ER nurse

J-No

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

WithTheAfroSixNine — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:34:36 EDT

My favorite is the one about Uggie Urbina attempting to murder 5 workers on his family's Venezuelan ranch by hacking them with machetes and trying to light them on fire. Classic.

WithTheAfroSixNine

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

WithTheAfroSixNine — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:31:21 EDT

My favorite is the one about Uggie Urbina attempting to murder 5 people by slashing them with machetes and trying to light them on fire.

WithTheAfroSixNine

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

That-Dude — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:26:00 EDT

@Magnakai Haaskivi: +1

That-Dude

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Catenaccio — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:11:44 EDT

I've always understood this story to be true. What's Ripken supposed to say on NPR, 'Yeah, Neal Conan, Costner was banging my wife and I beat the shit outta him. What's Silvia Poggioli think of that?"

Catenaccio

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

mike42 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:24:37 EDT

Barry Bonds should go on NPR and deny using steroids. Apparently that's where you go if you want people to believe a lie.

mike42

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

econdave — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:17:59 EDT

@Steve Trachsel, Ace:
Anyone else notice that Cal is turning into Uncle Fester?

/Fixed

econdave

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

EditorOfTheDailyFaberian — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:11:27 EDT

@A Pimp Named DaveR: His platoon leader - Mr. Rogers.

EditorOfTheDailyFaberian

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

WithTheAfroSixNine — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:07:37 EDT

It's true, and technically, it went down in the books as a brown out

WithTheAfroSixNine

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Rozelle’s Bagman — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:02:30 EDT

I'm not making this up. I've seen a wargame of the battle of Stalingrad
which includes an optional counter for mine dogs, so it must be true.

Rozelle’s Bagman

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Nationalcoholic — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 17:02:08 EDT

Joe Buck blew Todd Zielle!

Nationalcoholic

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Michael Bertin — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:59:05 EDT

@Steve Trachsel, Ace: When your phone rings later, it's Macier Izturis...

AND HE'S CALLING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!

Michael Bertin

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Signal to Noise — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:59:02 EDT

threadjack

Jim Rome just gave Deadspin a shout-out for the Lima retirement story.

Still not enough for an "approve."

/threadjack

Signal to Noise

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Von Hayes — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:58:33 EDT

@Mr. Marinovich: It was Brind'amour and that story is absolutely true. I'm not even sure it qualifies as an urban legend at this point.

Von Hayes

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Nacho Friendly — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:57:31 EDT

As we said: We love urban meyers.

Nacho Friendly

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

ClueHeywood — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:57:28 EDT

Cal was just at home saying "bloody mary" in the mirror over and over. Then he, Chris Hoiles, and Jesse Orosco played "light as a feather, stiff as a board."

ClueHeywood

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:56:45 EDT

@A Pimp Named DaveR: BARBARA Billingsly.

/not old enough to remember

A Pimp Named DaveR

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Steve Trachsel, Ace — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:55:56 EDT

@Lady Andrea: You know youve burned through your bench a little too quickly when Cesar Izturis (or any Izturis for that matter) is batting with two one and two outs in the bottom of the 10th, down two.

Steve Trachsel, Ace

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:55:20 EDT

This is so false. Cal Ripken actually died in Vietnam. June Billingsly told me so.

A Pimp Named DaveR

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Afino — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:54:17 EDT

@ClueHeywood:

Beware of the penguins.

Afino

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Lady Andrea — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:54:04 EDT

@Lady Andrea: fuck

Lady Andrea

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Whitey Fisk — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:53:51 EDT

@Steve Trachsel, Ace:

"An obviously inebriated Tom Arnold"

Is there any other kind?

Whitey Fisk

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Laser Guided — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:53:32 EDT

Camden Yards lost power after someone flushed a baby alligator down the toilet 20 years prior and then it came out of a storm drain and ran into the fusebox.

Laser Guided

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:53:19 EDT

@Suss--: Whoops. I meant to write "why are psalms so fucking scary".

I'm terrified of the Bible.

Weed Against Speed

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Jubilation T. Cornpone — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:53:11 EDT

I heard Weintraub is a pseudonym for Raven Symone.

Jubilation T. Cornpone

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Lady Andrea — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:51:34 EDT

@Tobias Funke: he will! He has to!

@Detective Bunk: +1

Lady Andrea

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

AwfulAnnouncing — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:51:15 EDT

@Ray: Yes yes....I also heard that Anderson was Bi. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

AwfulAnnouncing

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Matt Sussman — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:50:40 EDT

"If urban legends aren't true, then why are my palms so fucking hairy??"

Who just said that just now?

Matt Sussman

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:46:47 EDT

If urban legends aren't true, then why are my palms so fucking hairy??

Weed Against Speed

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

7-8 Deville — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:45:40 EDT

I lived in the area for a while and though it's not true that Costner was doing Mrs. Ripkin, it is true that if you forward this comment to friends, Microsoft will track it. For every person that you forward this email to, Microsoft will pay you $5.

7-8 Deville

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

shea_guevara — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:44:40 EDT

Then, Ripken followed Costner home, flashing his lights at him the whole time. And then it turned out there was a killer in Costner's back seat!

shea_guevara

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

CreamsicleOrange — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:41:59 EDT

@being_sven:
It's not cheating though, because it's your dog.

CreamsicleOrange

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Steve Trachsel, Ace — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:41:59 EDT

An obviously inebriated Tom Arnold is just blessed Wrigley with his "take me out to the ballgame"

Steve Trachsel, Ace

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:41:45 EDT

@Weed Against Speed: Now THAT story I believe!

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

MattinglysSideburns — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:40:41 EDT

Still more believable than that one about the Marlins winning 2 World Series.

MattinglysSideburns

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

David Hume — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:40:09 EDT

@Paper Cut: That was for the workers' own protection - I mean have you seen those things? You could weld tungsten with those aryan laserbeamers.

David Hume

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

muggsybogues — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:39:08 EDT

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: Did you just call him a fuckass?

muggsybogues

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

ClueHeywood — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:39:07 EDT

The call came from INSIDE Camden Yards!

ClueHeywood

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Magnakai Haaskivi — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:38:57 EDT

@being_sven: And a surprise birthday party.

Magnakai Haaskivi

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:38:44 EDT

Bobby Brown confirms that Costner's chemistry with then wife Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard is responsible for his "consecutive nights coked out of his fucking mind" streak. And "Humpin Around."

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Ray — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:38:37 EDT

@AwfulAnnouncing: Only in 1996.

Ray

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Dead Wrestlers Society — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:38:29 EDT

Cal ingested too many pop rocks with his Coke.

Dead Wrestlers Society

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Tobias Funke — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:38:24 EDT

/Threadjack

Prince Fielder hits his first HR of the year to give the Brewers a 5-3 lead in the 10th. The Leitch jinx lives on (until Gagne blows the lead in the bottom half)

/End threadjack

Tobias Funke

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:37:45 EDT

Everything was worked out between Kevin and Cal after Ripken gave Costner a massage during his honeymoon.

Weed Against Speed

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

ArkansasFred — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:37:26 EDT

And this is for Message in a Bottle! POW!

ArkansasFred

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Steve Trachsel, Ace — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:36:51 EDT

I did hear that Cal tagged Roberto Hernandez's wife, which is why he broke his nose.

Steve Trachsel, Ace

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Matt_T — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:36:36 EDT

Who doesn't love Urban Legend? Its got the kid from Mighty Ducks in it.

Matt_T

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

AwfulAnnouncing — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:36:10 EDT

I had always heard it was Brady Anderson who was doing the banging. Interesting.

AwfulAnnouncing

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Michael Bertin — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:35:49 EDT

That was after it was edited digitally.

What it originally said was: "Cal told [the Orioles owner] it would be impossible to come in [his wife because Costner's penis was currently inside it]..."

Michael Bertin

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

being_sven — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:35:33 EDT

When she was in high school, Mrs. Ripken got caught in a rather compromising position with a jar of peanut butter and the family dog.

being_sven

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Paper Cut — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:35:22 EDT

There are tons of stories out there about Cal - workers at his house not allowed to make eye contact, etc. - so I've always believed this one.

Paper Cut

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

900_Units_of_Meat — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:34:53 EDT

Can someone start an urban legend that involves Carmelita Immelman searching for a female pole-vaulting instructor?

Or maybe I just did...

900_Units_of_Meat

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

MitchKayak — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:34:04 EDT

Ripken punched Costner for putting a baby in the microwave and then stealing his kidneys.

MitchKayak

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Ray — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:33:46 EDT

Every time you masturbate, Kevin Mitchell cuts the head off a kitten.

Ray

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Mr. Marinovich — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:33:36 EDT

Didn't Lindros tag Tocchet's or Brind'Amour's wife or something? That's a pretty good one.

Mr. Marinovich

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:33:11 EDT

After the power went out at Camden Yards, someone went to check out the fuse box and there was a hook hanging from it!

Weed Against Speed

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

CreamsicleOrange — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:32:45 EDT

So Michael Jackson didn't use my bathroom. But his sister did!

CreamsicleOrange

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Steve Trachsel, Ace — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:32:22 EDT

Anyone else notice that Cal is turning into Steve Wilkos?

(I could also point out that there isnt any hotels attached to Camden Yards, but thats besides the point)

Steve Trachsel, Ace

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

throwbot — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:32:20 EDT

Ripken did knee Costner the nuts, however, after paying $7 to see Waterworld.

throwbot

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:32:17 EDT

@being_sven: I thought it was because he ate Pop Rocks and drank 7-Up at the same time.

Weed Against Speed

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:31:45 EDT

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry:

No, you are thinking of four separate occasions.

Gourmet Spud

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:31:14 EDT

And of course, there is the one about Richard Gere shoving Don Zimmer up his ass.

Gourmet Spud

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Dead Wrestlers Society — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:31:10 EDT

I was at that game, or rather non-game. Stupid Angelos.

The story actually is true. For revenge, Cal recommended Costner try out for a great movie called Waterworld.

Dead Wrestlers Society

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Magnakai Haaskivi — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:31:09 EDT

@BigJimSlade: BDD: down with BBDs.

Magnakai Haaskivi

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

being_sven — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:30:59 EDT

Cal Ripken actually lost his hair because a spider laid its eggs in his scalp.

being_sven

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:30:26 EDT

"Let's see you maintain your streak now, Meat!"

Carlton_Whitfield

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:30:14 EDT

@Gourmet Spud: WRONG!! Lindros was concussed by the breeze from the door opening.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Detective Bunk — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:29:49 EDT

@Lady Andrea: That was Byung-Hyun Kim and he was just reheating lunch.

Detective Bunk

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

SteveJeltzFan — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:29:37 EDT

Did Palmeiro wag his finger and adamanly deny that he slept with Sandberg's wife?

SteveJeltzFan

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

blainer — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:29:26 EDT

I heard that Christmas Ape got fired for sleeping with Kornheiser's wife.

blainer

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:29:22 EDT

@Lady Andrea: That was Ankiel. Pujols nukes babies.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:28:13 EDT

In Cal's defense, it wouldn't have been a fair fight. He would've killed Costner.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Lady Andrea — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:28:12 EDT

Where's the one about Pujols microwaving a dog?

Lady Andrea

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

MoBot — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:28:08 EDT

Kevin Mitchell doesn't cut the heads off of cats. He cuts the heads off of kittens.

Better?

MoBot

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

West Coast Sh!tShow — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:27:59 EDT

I hear if you reply to will in the comments, all banned commenters have 24 hours to find and kill you for re-admittance.

West Coast Sh!tShow

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:27:47 EDT

Mrs. Ripken likes 'em bald, apparently.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Big Jim Slade — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:27:36 EDT

My favorite urban legend was the one about BDD and the big black dildo...

wait, what?

Big Jim Slade

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:27:33 EDT

My favourite: at a party at the Lindros' cottage in Northern Ontario, Eric Lindros was making fun of Canadian figure skating champ Elvis Stojko, who was a black belt in judo. Stojko proceeded to knock him out, with what may or may not have been a spin kick to the head.

Gourmet Spud

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend

Magnakai Haaskivi — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:27:23 EDT

I'd heard that when the Orioles got back into the clubhouse the next day there was a note that said "Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the lights?" next to a decapitated mascot in the showers.

Magnakai Haaskivi