Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer - Deadspin Comments

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:29:26 EDT

Alright folks, I'm out.

And to all of those I talked into watching the "Real Doll" show on BBC America, when you wake up screaming and sweaty tonight- you're welcome.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

hockalees — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:28:21 EDT

I know it is only the first round... but Dallas has done all the little things in this game and outplayed the champs. When they started this series w/out Zubov and with 3 rookies on D, I didn't give them much of a chance.

Ugh... there's Hicks... vomit..

hockalees

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:28:20 EDT

@Steve Trachsel, Ace: Perhaps the KRUK MONSTER?

Also, worst SportsCenter pairing possible...so I'm going to bed. Lates, all.

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

44 in a Row — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:27:36 EDT

We're not talking about Mo Vaughn.

44 in a Row

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:27:19 EDT

@Steve Trachsel, Ace: Mo had "bad knees."

I coached Mo's niece in HS soccer for a year (before she became our team manager) and got to meet most of the family. Let's just say that nobody was skinny...

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Clare — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:27:11 EDT

@Becky_MI: Ah, I wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm terrible at hiding my feelings.

@StevePerryPsychOut: @My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH: Yeah, this time. Tomorrow they won't be so lucky. This IS the Phillies we're talking about.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Becky_MI — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:26:34 EDT

Alright guys and (real) dolls - think I'm heading up to bed. Unfortunately, the last thing I'm seeing on TV is the country Viva Viagra commercial. Jesus I hate TV sometimes.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Steve Trachsel, Ace — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:25:52 EDT

@thefuseproject: @StevePerryPsychOut: I was thinking more Mo Vaughn, but that works.

Steve Trachsel, Ace

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:25:07 EDT

That's exactly how you help your team, Pronger. See ya on the golf course.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

hockalees — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:24:54 EDT

Pronger....out
Bertuzzi...golf
NIEDERMAYER!!!!

hockalees

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:24:46 EDT

@Steve Trachsel, Ace: Like a certain center fielder who now plays for the Dodgers?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:24:18 EDT

@Steve Trachsel, Ace: two years until he is Prince Fielder?

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:24:15 EDT

And I'm off ladies, gents and synthetic friends. Nite all.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Steve Trachsel, Ace — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:23:43 EDT

@StevePerryPsychOut: I give him another two years till he is getting winded on basic plays.

Steve Trachsel, Ace

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

hockalees — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:23:38 EDT

LOOOOOOOUUUUUUIIIII!!!!!

Evening DUAN...

hockalees

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Dr. Michael Mancini — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:23:11 EDT

Yeah, Dallas. Fuck Anaheim, the Curse if Bertuzzi continues.

Dr. Michael Mancini

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:23:05 EDT

Now that's how you end a game. What a play by Bruntlett.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:21:29 EDT

Ryan Howard covers good ground for a big guy...

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:17:52 EDT

@My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZ...: yeah...I'm enjoying seeing this unravel, though. I do still wish that he was in the NL Central...

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:17:22 EDT

@thefuseproject: On the bright side, Al Horford had a fantastic game for a rookie in his first playoffs, putting up 20/10 with bigger defenders on him. The rest of the team didn't show up on offense, though, and shot 38% from the field.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:17:05 EDT

Brad Lidge in the game, Phillies up by 1, Mets with runners on 1st and 2nd.

Uh-oh.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

I Party With Smoot — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:16:34 EDT

Ok, g'night Duan. I'm gonna try and go to sleep while watching guys in chain linked clothes cut people's heads off on BBC.

Peace out.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Munsoned — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:16:30 EDT

@Clare: Drunk text messages are the gift that keeps on giving for all involved. Shame, horror and pure hilarity.

Munsoned

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:15:48 EDT

Annnnd the Celtics win.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:15:34 EDT

@Fat-Fat: but worse. terribly worse. twasn't the first time this particular ex had experienced drunk desperate katie though, so it was all good.

@Fat-Fat: @Dr. Michael Mancini: @longefellowes: @The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face: thanks all. it was fun to play dress up because i could.

and now i'm going to call it a night. everyone enjoy cuddling with their real dolls!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:15:22 EDT

@Peter Cavan: ditto. I think he's shaved about 15 of my IQ points today.

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Clare — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:15:13 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: I haven't left drunk voice mails yet. That's a line I won't cross. Drunk text messages, on the other hand...

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Becky_MI — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:15:06 EDT

@Clare: I do it too. Though right now it's the opposite of the olden days - instead of shamelessly throwing out words of devotion, now I have trouble saying them when I should.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:12:37 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: So you were like Mike in Swingers?

BTW, you were hot in the pic. No disrespect.

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:12:29 EDT

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: The game kinda got away from your boys- yipes!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Clare — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:11:45 EDT

@Becky_MI: @Peter Cavan: Yeah. It's the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I see before I go to bed, and yet I still can't help myself from saying and doing stupid things that I regret the second I do them.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:11:20 EDT

Now it's back to watching the depressing blowout. Did Powe just dunk on us?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Becky_MI — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:11:04 EDT

@Peter Cavan: Ha. Yeah, fortunately, we're all equally ridiculous. The dude and I were at the bar at closing time last night giggling at the 2 a.m. desperation. We were also picking out who the other would be talking to if single. He correctly pegged me as simply joking with the bartender and not trying for any hookup at all.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:09:41 EDT

@Clare: it was fun but it scratched the fuck out of my arms (and The Boy's arms when I saw him before the ball... heehee!)

And yes, girls do terrible things because of boys. See: Me more than trashed at Thanksgiving leaving mean, slurred, almost indecipherable drunk messages on my ex's voicemail. Like 5 in 15 minutes. Not. Good.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:09:37 EDT

I feel kind of empty inside after watching that show.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Peter Cavan — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:08:35 EDT

@Becky_MI: The sign could work for guys too. I made a fool of myself on many, many occasions when the "DESPERATE" sign was lit up.

Peter Cavan

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:07:25 EDT

@Fawn Liebowitz: Nite, enjoy the running!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Becky_MI — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:06:42 EDT

@Becky_MI: SEND to others. Dumbass.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:06:19 EDT

@StevePerryPsychOut: He must be a Mormon doll freak.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Becky_MI — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:05:59 EDT

@Clare: I have needed that sign during so many points in my life - and have wanted to sent them to others as well. You should make and market those bitches.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:05:49 EDT

@Peter Cavan: Looks like we got off easy.

Wait, that doesn't sound right...

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fawn Liebowitz — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:05:09 EDT

I'm running the marathon tomorrow--I'll be posting pix of me at the finish line...

Night all!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:05:01 EDT

@Fat-Fat: (doffs cap)

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Peter Cavan — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:04:56 EDT

And here I thought we'd all be watching baseball. I've been subjecting myself to Joe Morgan for the past half hour.

Peter Cavan

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:04:47 EDT

@Fat-Fat: Exactly!

@longefellowes: Your miniatures would start selling like hotcakes among the "doll freak" demographic.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:03:46 EDT

FUSE DO GETZ APPLAUDS!

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Dr. Michael Mancini — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:03:46 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Very nice look there.

Dr. Michael Mancini

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:03:38 EDT

@Fawn Liebowitz: I do what I can.

(bows politely)

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

I Party With Smoot — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:03:38 EDT

Wire In The Blood? BBC is great. I'm now hooked.

Ducks? Stars? Who?

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:03:36 EDT

She dumped the Harry Redknapp look-alike? Must not be a Portsmouth fan.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fawn Liebowitz — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:03:25 EDT

@TattooedMess(iah): We're there!

BBCA may be our new touchstone

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her! — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:03:22 EDT

Ok, I have to go give myself some electroshock therapy. Or take drugs. Or something. Anything to get that out of my head long enough to get some sleep tonight. Laters, everyone.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Clare — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:03:06 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: That dress is a scream, girlie.

@The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face: Don't get me started on the stupid shit girls do when they feel bad about themselves re: boys. I will only say that there is a reason why I have a sticky note above my desk that says in very large letters, "DESPERATION IS NOT SEXY."

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

PQ Crash — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:03:02 EDT

@My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZ...: I don't know. I'm watching BBC's follow-up to it right now. And it's fucked up as well...

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

TattooedMess(iah) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:02:49 EDT

I think that "My Mom Used To Be My Dad" show also has some creepy potential. We'll have to group-watch that one too.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:02:38 EDT

....dammit...

where's my fleshlight?

fuck.

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fawn Liebowitz — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:02:11 EDT

@longefellowes: Agreed--and when they repeat it I'll watch it again

Thank you again Fuse Project--this is the best DUAN in absolutely ages!

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:01:33 EDT

They could show Hostel after that show, and it wouldn't be as creepy.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her! — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:01:09 EDT

Ohmygawd, that was one of the funniest and simutaneously most disturbing things I've seen in awhile.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:00:56 EDT

Family Fued is on Game show network!

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

The Vigilante Face — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:00:30 EDT

How low must a woman's standards be to think the best you can do is a man who has eight fuck dolls? Evidentally Jody hers aren't that low yet and she ended it.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:00:24 EDT

"A week after the doll party, Jody decided to end the relationship."

What a great ending to a great story.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:00:21 EDT

So, I guess we'll all be taking a moment to bleach our brains before we continue DUANing?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

TattooedMess(iah) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:00:20 EDT

Those two crazy kids couldn't make it work? What chance do the rest of us have?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:00:14 EDT

@The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face: @Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: That's like 35,000 dollars worth of dolls...

and she left him.HA! even she wasn't that fucking mad.

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fawn Liebowitz — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:00:11 EDT

Talk about an abrupt ending--at least Jody got away!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:59:52 EDT

She broke up with him? Shocking!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:59:41 EDT

@The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face: i wear masks on a daily basis.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:59:02 EDT

IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET, OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:58:57 EDT

Once a week? Dude, please.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:58:50 EDT

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: hahahahahahaha, a polygamy camp!

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her! — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:58:40 EDT

@Clare: Yep. My avatar is one, for example.
@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: I am soooo loving those pix!

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: Bwahahahahaaaa! Mix a drop of fish oil into the clay, huh?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:58:36 EDT

@Fat-Fat: yes, there was a crazy masked orgy. with blow up dolls.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:58:22 EDT

Run, Jody, RUN!!!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

PQ Crash — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:58:08 EDT

O AN JODY GONNA DIE!!!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

The Vigilante Face — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:58:04 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Great look and you still get to keep your relative deadspin anonymity.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:58:01 EDT

He's got 8 dolls?!?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fawn Liebowitz — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:57:52 EDT

This is totally fucked up

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:57:21 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Was Tom Cruise and his ex there. Was the music that bad?

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:57:11 EDT

This could get awkward.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:57:09 EDT

@StevePerryPsychOut: my problem is that i can be extremely patient with kids, so i'm the only one who CAN work with him. his parents just get frustrated and start yelling. i just take a deep breath and explain it for the 800th time in the 700th way.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

TattooedMess(iah) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:57:00 EDT

They saved the best for last!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

I Party With Smoot — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:56:59 EDT

@The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face: It was a dissatisfied weep.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fawn Liebowitz — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:56:33 EDT

"Welcome home, sweetie!"

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

The Vigilante Face — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:56:21 EDT

@thefuseproject: She reminds me of Larry Craig's wife. "He's not gay because he told me he wasn't."

And the black dude's doll looks like she is crying. I am so creeped out.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:56:14 EDT

Is it just me or does the doll look frightened?

"organic women"?!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:56:01 EDT

FLY BY NIGHT AWAY FROM HERE!

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:55:33 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: Looking great there Katie.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:55:16 EDT

@Becky_MI: I hear ya!

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:54:56 EDT

oh! and, i went to the gov's house as masquerade barbie this weekend:

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:54:45 EDT

@longefellowes: So now you know you should be making your sculptures so they smell like fish!

@The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face: Because the Hawks are playing the part of the dolls, while the Celtics are the doll freaks?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:54:31 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: it got to the point that I was just happy to take the cash and have survived. It is now clear that I will never be well suited to work with kids.

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

I Party With Smoot — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:54:01 EDT

I don't know if everyone else got the same commercial as me, but a "Manwich" commercial during this show? Bravo, BBC. Bravo.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Becky_MI — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:53:36 EDT

@Fat-Fat: I can get silicone versions of the important parts for waaaaaay less. And they move and dance and are easily stored!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:53:33 EDT

Jody's wall of denial is about to tumble down.

(Apologies to SRV for using his lyrics in this way)

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Peter Cavan — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:52:55 EDT

@Becky_MI: I don't think I would have gotten my new TV or my Xbox if I hadn't gotten divorced. So there was that upside.

Peter Cavan

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:52:47 EDT

@Fawn Liebowitz: True. They need some good, extensive therapy before being allowed back into the wild.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

PQ Crash — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:52:30 EDT

@The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face: It's okay. You're used to a bunch of lifeless fucks. It'll take some time to get used to the fact that the Celtics are good again.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:52:29 EDT

@Becky_MI: Why sadly?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:52:22 EDT

@Becky_MI: How about a real doll? You know you want one.

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Rock You Like An Iracane — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:52:19 EDT

Can someone please put this on the Internet somewhere?

I'll need something to gape astonished at some point, and BBC American just isn't an option right now.

Rock You Like An Iracane

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:52:12 EDT

@StevePerryPsychOut: I knew there was a problem with K. "doing" his hw when he just made random marks on the page so it would look like he had done it on a glance, which was the only checking his parents did. when i checked it? 2 problems right out of 58. this week was exhausting getting him to actually do it, but *gasp* maybe now he actually understands some concepts! i mean, he's been faking it ALL YEAR and no one noticed until now? le sigh.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:51:55 EDT

Why would Mike want to jack off to a doll when he has a hot chick like you, Jody?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:51:52 EDT

@Becky_MI: I think the first thing I said to my ex after the "final" decisions was made was, "You can have the car and the TV!!"

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fawn Liebowitz — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:51:46 EDT

@TattooedMess(iah): I dont know--after the smells like fish comment, I am officially numb...

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:51:41 EDT

@Becky_MI: I went on a new stuff spree on Saturday. It was fun!

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Clare — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:51:31 EDT

@longefellowes: I did not know that. Can we see some examples?

@TattooedMess(iah): Because some silicone fuck toys don't blankly stare back at you?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:51:31 EDT

what a fag.

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:51:22 EDT

@The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face: You haven't missed much.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Peter Cavan — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:51:02 EDT

Hey, what's up DUAN?

Sex dolls? What HAVE you people been up to tonight?

Peter Cavan

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Becky_MI — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:50:54 EDT

I just ordered myself a new DVD player. Sadly, I believe a new computer is soon to follow.

While I hated losing stuff in the divorce... Hey! Free new shiny stuff!!!!

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

TattooedMess(iah) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:50:53 EDT

@Fawn Liebowitz: Does his socket wrench have a setting called "needle dick"?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:50:28 EDT

@Clare: ugh, I would actually like a pinch right now...that's not smoking, right?

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:50:25 EDT

"She's starting to smell like fish..."

Great.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:50:18 EDT

You learn to clean them, AFTER A WHILE?!

Oh, boy.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:50:14 EDT

when they smell like fish?

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

PQ Crash — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:49:50 EDT

@longefellowes: At least someone is getting something useful out of this.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fawn Liebowitz — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:49:20 EDT

@TattooedMess(iah): After he "tightens them up" maybe?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

The Vigilante Face — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:49:14 EDT

I have completly ignored the first Celtics playoff games in favor of a bunch of doll fuckers. What the hell is wrong with me?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:49:05 EDT

Are they all named after strippers?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:48:38 EDT

@StevePerryPsychOut: He works best when i put it in terms of money. Go figure.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:48:24 EDT

@Munsoned: I was also leaning in the direction of Bourbon. But what to snack on...

@TattooedMess(iah): I don't think that he'd lower himself to cleaning up after these weirdos.

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

TattooedMess(iah) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:48:00 EDT

@thefuseproject: His girlfriend's actually kinda cute. Also, she just had the best line on the show...aaand we were right.

And uh, how is one silicone fuck toy better in bed than another silicone fuck toy?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:47:54 EDT

@TattooedMess(iah): You sir, called it.

He "test drives."

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:47:22 EDT

You are batshit crazy girlfriend.

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fawn Liebowitz — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:47:14 EDT

Oh my god

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Clare — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:47:09 EDT

@Fat-Fat: Shuttie uppie.

@TattooedMess(iah): @Tools of Ignorance: @She Blinded Me With Violence: Ick.

The "quit smoking" PSA I just got only makes me sad that I don't have a pack of American Spirits right now.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:47:04 EDT

@thefuseproject: Unfortunately.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:47:01 EDT

@longefellowes: You're gonna sculpt a Kelly Ripa lookalike, ain't ya?

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:46:59 EDT

Jealous of a doll, huh Rebecca?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

The Vigilante Face — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:46:58 EDT

How can anyone sleep with a guy who fucks dolls? This is the most shocking twist of all.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:46:56 EDT

"Women are jealous of the dolls..."

Uh-huh... m'kay.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:46:54 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: RoL Reunion should have been about half an hour long.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

I Party With Smoot — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:46:37 EDT

It's interesting because I have a girl hanging in my shower too..

...what?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:45:47 EDT

@TattooedMess(iah): 100%

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:45:44 EDT

Someone ordered a Sinead O'Connor doll.

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her! — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:45:23 EDT

Ok, you all know I sculpt little nekkid/mostly nekkid pin-up girls. But this is beyond unreal and exceedingly creepy. On the other hand, I'm actually learning some artistic techniques. How weird is that?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

She Blinded Me With Violence — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:45:22 EDT

@I Party With Supermike (mostly because Im trying to poison ...: Or O'Douls and a home enema kit?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:45:21 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: I kid, but when I studied in Madrid, I tutored two kids once a week for their English classes. One of em was nine, and his mom once asked why he wasn't doing any better after I started...I suggested that she tried making him do his homework. After that, she was no longer impressed with my methods.

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:45:09 EDT

@thefuseproject: ...this is why I'm glad I still have to watch the RoL reunion. Thank you, tivo. The only thing creepier than a blow up doll? A blow up sheep. That makes noise. That was the last straw on my first sex shop adventure.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

TattooedMess(iah) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:45:03 EDT

So what are the odds this guy gives the dolls a "test throw" after he repairs them before he sends them back?

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Dr. Michael Mancini — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:44:33 EDT

@TattooedMess(iah): My mom works at JCPenney, she once discovered a man masturbating on a bed in funishings.

Dr. Michael Mancini

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

I Party With Smoot — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:44:27 EDT

@I Party With Supermike (mostly because Im trying to poison ...: arent* stop drinking abd go to sleep asshole

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:44:09 EDT

Seriously? How much semen remnants?

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Munsoned — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:43:51 EDT

@StevePerryPsychOut: bourbon is working for me... and someone said something about golden grahams.

Munsoned

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

I Party With Smoot — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:43:43 EDT

@PQ Crash: Even our target demographics are this fucked up.

Although for my magazine, the target demographic is uhh, guys in prison.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:43:35 EDT

@My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZ...: "Beware of Shamwow! imitators." Ain't that the truth.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:43:33 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: "if I hit you twice, then do that 8 more times, how many times have I hit you?"

You just have to be more creative about it. You know, speak his language.

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

TattooedMess(iah) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:43:06 EDT

@44 in a Row: BBC America. The show's on til 11.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:42:54 EDT

@Le Kangourou de Kataroo: BBC America, and you can uh, "thank me" for bringing it to DUAN's attention. Or curse me when you can't sleep tonight.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

PQ Crash — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:42:29 EDT

@I Party With Supermike (mostly because Im trying to poison ...: Congratulations! You now have a new target market!

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

44 in a Row — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:42:12 EDT

Seriously, what are you guys watching?

44 in a Row

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:49 EDT

From creepy guys having sex with dolls to a Shamwow! commercial. Thank you, cable.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Fat-Fat — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:48 EDT

@PQ Crash: I am sure "his" doll has a strap-on.

Fat-Fat

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

meltyman — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:43 EDT

meltyman

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Le Kangourou de Kataroo — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:42 EDT

What are you guys watching?!

Math homework is done. Thank.God.

It's hard to teach math when the kid doesn't get basic concepts.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

PQ Crash — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:38 EDT

@Fat-Fat: +1

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

thefuseproject — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:21 EDT

The guy on this ad, I would kick him in the balls until they splattered, Nutty Buddy or not.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Sculptor?!?I_just_met_her! — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:16 EDT

@I Party With Supermike (mostly because Im trying to poison ...: Joo ever wonder about that price tag adhesive you can't remove from items? Eeeewwwwww.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

StevePerryPsychOut — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:14 EDT

@Lizabelle: drink some tequila, it'll calm everything down there.

/currently drinking tequila.
//now has no more tequila.
///what's next?

StevePerryPsychOut

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

TattooedMess(iah) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:08 EDT

A second honeymoon

Jesus.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

I Party With Smoot — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:01 EDT

Haven't any of these guys ever heard of alcohol and jerking off? Seriously.

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer

Brazil Thrill — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:41:00 EDT

"Yes, I will be alone..."

But you were alone all along. Oh, and now he's crying.