Previewing The Rangers-Penguins - Deadspin Comments

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

FirstDerivative — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:05:42 EDT

@Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay: Should I have used Steel Reserve?

FirstDerivative

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

The HZA — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:27:29 EDT

Avery, I hear Hockey Jesus hates being punched in the legpit. Go for it.

The HZA

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:53:38 EDT

@FirstDerivative: Yuengling is from Philly, you Philistine.

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

HockeyMountain — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:27:03 EDT

This picture is all wrong. Jesus should be in net, everyone knows Jesus Saves

HockeyMountain

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

FirstDerivative — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:16:29 EDT

Brooklyn's Lager - 4
Yuengling - 3

Drury 2:34 into the second overtime of Game 7

FirstDerivative

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

It Must Be Take a Worm for a Walk Week — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:37:45 EDT

Carnegie Mellon/Wiz Khalifa/Primanti's/Hill District 4

NYU/Every Rapper Ever/Cheesecake/Harlem 2

It Must Be Take a Worm for a Walk Week

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Sarcastro — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:35:45 EDT

@jisrael1: The Lindroses are certainly a thin-skulled people.

Sarcastro

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

jisrael1 — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:31:39 EDT

@throwbot:
No, I'm pretty sure that Eric Lindros became John the Baptist after Scott Stevens' surprisingly pointy shoulders demolished him.

jisrael1

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

ClownForPound — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:30:22 EDT

@Sir Hotbod Handsomeface: Glen Jacobs is a perfect name for a hockey player.

ClownForPound

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

francois_leroux_speedskater — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:26:01 EDT

///dammit

francois_leroux_speedskater

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

francois_leroux_speedskater — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:21:36 EDT

@OchentaYcinco: Uh, you'll be the only one there, pal.

/not an enabler, refuses to attend

//fighting Geno's in 6

francois_leroux_speedskater

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

francois_leroux_speedskater — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:17:15 EDT

@OchentaYcinco: Uh, you'll be the only one at the game pal.

/not an enabler

//Geno's (Malkin, that is) in 6

francois_leroux_speedskater

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Im a people person. Who drinks. — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:16:29 EDT

Here's hoping Ruutu is able to play Torquemada, without getting too many PM in the process.

Im a people person. Who drinks.

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

AkAggie — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:12:39 EDT

Flowing robes my ass, everyone know's Jesus wears Cooperalls.

AkAggie

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

TheStarterWife — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:11:05 EDT

Afraid to predict, but it should be noted that my mother (and apparently many other suburban mothers) are very conflicted about the return of Jagr against the Pens.

(Moms, they never forget the nice young man the would see at the local Outback or Mt Lebo Atrias.)

TheStarterWife

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

MustacheofMilesTarver — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:09:23 EDT

Ryan Malone can be the prodigal son.

MustacheofMilesTarver

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:03:52 EDT

The Staals = Hockey Kane and Abel?

/reaching for religious hockey reference

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

LeNoceur — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:01:01 EDT

@MustacheofMilesTarver: I see what you did there, you devil.

LeNoceur

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:55:16 EDT

Billy Tibbets is Hockey Barabbas?

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

The White Boom Boom — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:54:44 EDT

@OchentaYcinco: Yeah, like anyone is going to be at PNC Park...

The White Boom Boom

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Secret Identity — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:53:14 EDT

@throwbot:

Possibly, but as a Jew I don't really know who John the Baptist was.

/seriously

Secret Identity

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Peter Cavan — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:52:09 EDT

@throwbot: Judas.

Peter Cavan

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Wilf — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:50:43 EDT

I had to order the Outdoor Life Network to be able to see this game.

I pay $80/month for Dish Network/HD/DVR, so breaking the news to my wife that I needed to order ANOTHER tier of channels was my favorite moment of the week.

Ergo, the Penguins better make it worth my while.

And also: they will. Pens in five. Hossa goes nuts and scores more than a goal a game.

Wilf

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Al Czerviks Ride — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:50:18 EDT

I blame T-Mac for the lack of an Ovie/Hockey Jesus matchup

Al Czerviks Ride

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:49:25 EDT

@Weed Against Speed: Bryan Berard has been begging to be traded to Pittsburgh for going on three years now.

/lamer blind joke

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:48:11 EDT

There are far less face-offs in games in which Jesus plays.

/lame leprosy joke

Weed Against Speed

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

HernandezStache — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:47:50 EDT

As far as nicknames go

Purple Jesus > Hockey Jesus

HernandezStache

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:46:55 EDT

Hockey Jesus? All this time I though it was Geppetto.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:45:40 EDT

Shoulda been you Miroslav

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:45:24 EDT

@Weed Against Speed: Thank God for the draw blood/Double Minor rule.

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:45:19 EDT

Mary Magdalene was a total puck bunny.

Weed Against Speed

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

MitchKayak — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:45:17 EDT

Flightless Jesuses in 6.

MitchKayak

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

throwbot — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:45:10 EDT

@Secret Identity: would that make Jagr Hockey John the Baptist?

throwbot

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Peter Cavan — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:44:56 EDT

Primanti Brothers over Nathan's in 6.

Peter Cavan

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:44:23 EDT

@Doyle McPoyle: 1up!

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Al Czerviks Ride — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:44:17 EDT

@Sarcastro: Wrong game- he was hitting Moses who just parted the D...

Al Czerviks Ride

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Paul Zuvella — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:44:04 EDT

@Al Czerviks Ride: Plus he can practice year round due to his ability to skate on water

Paul Zuvella

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Secret Identity — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:44:03 EDT

If Sidney Crosby is Hockey Jesus, does that make Evgeni Malkin Hockey Moses, or possibly Hockey Judah Maccabee?

Secret Identity

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

MattinglysSideburns — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:43:43 EDT

@Sarcastro: John the Baptist would be a better linemate for Jesus. He totally has his head on a swivel.

MattinglysSideburns

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

OchentaYcinco — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:43:25 EDT

@Whitey Fisk: He's not shooting it, He's making it levitate.

OchentaYcinco

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Sarcastro — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:42:42 EDT

@Sarcastro: The Lord of Darkness, not Miroslav.

Sarcastro

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Al Czerviks Ride — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:42:06 EDT

@Weed Against Speed: but in true hockey player fashion, he let Peter stick his finger through his hand and got back out there

Al Czerviks Ride

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Sarcastro — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:40:52 EDT

@the sieve: To spear Satan?

Sarcastro

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Sarcastro — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:40:28 EDT

@Whitey Fisk: He's sending a headman pass up to St. Peter. One hell of a skater, that guy.

Sarcastro

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Whitey Fisk — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:40:25 EDT

I think Ottawa's "A" game left sometime in January.

Steelers-4
Giants-1

Whitey Fisk

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

MustacheofMilesTarver — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:40:21 EDT

Expansion 6 over Original 6 in 6.

MustacheofMilesTarver

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:40:02 EDT

@the sieve: Jesus' grip hasn't been the same since the Romans pounded stakes through his wrists.

/blasphemer

Weed Against Speed

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:39:55 EDT

(ahem)

Have to warm up my voice for tonight...

AAAAAAAAA-VERYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAA-VERYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAA-VERYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

Le Légende de Vincent Tremblay

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

OchentaYcinco — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:39:12 EDT

@Paul Zuvella: I wasn't aware that you could be cooler than Kyle Farnsworth.

OchentaYcinco

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Whitey Fisk — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:38:45 EDT

Where exactly is Jebuz shooting that puck?

Whitey Fisk

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:38:03 EDT

White Collar - 4
Blue Collar - 2

also @Senators Lost Cojones: I am intrigued by your ideas... yadda yadda yadda.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

the sieve — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:37:48 EDT

Why is Jesus holding his stick like a pool cue?

the sieve

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Paul Zuvella — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:37:32 EDT

Maybe its those glasses, but for whatever reason Avery reminds me of a cooler, more successful Kyle Farnsworth.

Paul Zuvella

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Al Czerviks Ride — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:37:27 EDT

@Carlton_Whitfield: It should be obvious by the fact that #8 is wearing jeans that they're only out for a game of shinny.

/Once got two gooseeggs on my head from a game of shinny
//might explain a lot

Al Czerviks Ride

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

OchentaYcinco — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:37:03 EDT

It figures that the one weekend a year where the Phils are in Pittsburgh, the first game is the same night as the Pens Game 1.

When people see me rooting for the Pens after I leave PNC Park in a Phils jersey, their minds are gonna be blown, I tells ya.

OchentaYcinco

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Doyle McPoyle — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:36:54 EDT

@HernandezStache: Exactly...there's no way Sidney could pull off the raccoon suit.

Doyle McPoyle

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Al Czerviks Ride — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:35:57 EDT

Garden over Igloo 4-2

Al Czerviks Ride

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

kayceebk — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:34:48 EDT

METEOR!!!!

kayceebk

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Carlton_Whitfield — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:34:36 EDT

Jesus doesn't take hockey protection gear very seriously. -1, Christianity.

Carlton_Whitfield

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Sarcastro — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:32:07 EDT

I'm going to be getting hammered for tonight's game at Riggs Lounge on the North Side.

Join me, fellow Pens fans.

Sarcastro

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

HernandezStache — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:29:57 EDT

I'll say it again, Crosby is a whiney little bitch. Sure he's fun to watch and ridiculously good, but he whines every other play.

Also, can we stop the comparisons to Mario? Seriously, stop.

HernandezStache

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

HugsFromHarold — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:29:16 EDT

Sean will be sure to try and make those glasses uber-trendy during his off-season internship at Vogue!
maybe VS will make a reality show of Client #16 working at an intership with anorexic trustafarians.

HugsFromHarold

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

SonofSpurrier — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:28:37 EDT

Sidney Crosby is Jesus. Jagr is jealous.

and Leon is getting larger

SonofSpurrier

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

Senators Lost Cojones — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:28:23 EDT

To reiterate, and I feel I can't say this strongly enough, FUCK Gary Roberts. Fuck Gary Roberts right in the ear.

That is all.

Senators Lost Cojones

Previewing The Rangers-Penguins

MattinglysSideburns — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:26:25 EDT

Say what you will about Sean Avery, but he was great in Falling Down.

Rags in 7.

MattinglysSideburns