Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His - Deadspin Comments

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:07:09 EDT

At least Art Alexakis's dad had the decent to give his son a name. Karl Malone couldn't even do that much.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

DrAndrewsInsultedByTomBrady'sBastardKnee — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:14:24 EDT

is this why he's called the Mailman?

DrAndrewsInsultedByTomBrady'sBastardKnee

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

econdave — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:52:53 EDT

@BigJimSlade:

Where does the Winslow Boy fit into this?

/Mamet'd

econdave

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

HugsFromHarold — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:49:25 EDT

and in other news: In the 2028 NFL Draft half the first round pick are children of Willis McGahee.

HugsFromHarold

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Southeast Jerome — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:43:11 EDT

I'm with Lady Andrea. You rally have to beat that dead horse (NW St. game?)

The ONLY good thing about that game was that it was on St. Patrick's Day so that I looked like every other crying, drunk idiot out on the streets, screaming until my throat bled.

Southeast Jerome

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Badclown — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:37:00 EDT

I'm trying to think of a Diamond Dallas Page joke, but I got nothing.

Badclown

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Gordon Bombay — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:36:53 EDT

@being_sven: Carl's Jr.
Fuck You, I'm Eating

Gordon Bombay

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Triple B — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:34:49 EDT

@ArkansasFred: that joke is quite over the top.

i'll show myself out

Triple B

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Lady Andrea — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:32:39 EDT

I hate you, Will. So much.

Lady Andrea

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

KellyDownsSyndrome — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:26:30 EDT

@Jefferson Short Bus: Harvey Keitel's penis in "Bad Lieutenant" > Lt. Uhura > Lt. Dan > Lt. Winslow > Lt. Carl Winslow > Hot Karl

KellyDownsSyndrome

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Deeeeznutz — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:25:11 EDT

Thats a damn thing

Deeeeznutz

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:24:11 EDT

aren't we all Karl Malone's kids anyway?

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

The Vigilante Face — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:23:15 EDT

Did Karl give his son a knee to the crotch when he met him too?

The Vigilante Face

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

CreamsicleOrange — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:20:12 EDT

Couldn't have done it without my Rogaine.

CreamsicleOrange

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Juggernaut — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:10:55 EDT

@Afino: the first of many

Juggernaut

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

OchentaYcinco — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:09:13 EDT

GOB Bluth is offended at Karl Malone's parenting.

OchentaYcinco

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Doyle McPoyle — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:08:27 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: Hey, it happens...didn't you see Back to the Future II?

Doyle McPoyle

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Afino — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:07:43 EDT

@BigJimSlade:

Pretty sure Lt. Winslow would not enjoy being 5th on that list.

Afino

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Phony Gwynn — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:06:26 EDT

You just try to ignore yet another kid who claims he's your dad

Well, when kids younger than me claim they're my dad, I don't ever ignore them. I laugh at them, then ask if they have anymore weed/mushrooms/whippets.

Phony Gwynn

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

André Roussimoff — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:06:16 EDT

I would have thought he'd follow his dad into pro wrestling.

André Roussimoff

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

being_sven — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:04:54 EDT

Carl's Jr? (Home of the Six Dollar Burger)

being_sven

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Jews For Purple Jesus — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:03:52 EDT

I knew something was wrong when Warren Jeffs was added to the Jazz coaching staff.

Jews For Purple Jesus

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Agamemnon Busmalis — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:03:32 EDT

...And the cat's in the cradle, and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man in the moon...

Agamemnon Busmalis

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

ArkansasFred — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:03:31 EDT

It'd be sweet if Malone took him across the country in one of his big rigs and taught him about life through the use of arm wrestling metaphors.

ArkansasFred

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

EditorOfTheDailyFaberian — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:01:56 EDT

@BigJimSlade: Warm Karl > Hot Karl > Cold Karl

EditorOfTheDailyFaberian

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:01:53 EDT

[www.duncans.tv]

"Mailman", Shmailman. I take care of my kids!

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:01:42 EDT

Google-fu
[www.nsudemons.com]

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Big Jim Slade — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:01:20 EDT

@BigJimSlade:LdT > LT > Lt. Uhura > Lt. Dan > Lt. Winslow > Lt. Carl Winslow > Hot Karl

LdT... LdT... Mo-ron

Big Jim Slade

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Secret Identity — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:00:41 EDT

@Secret Identity:

kids'

Secret Identity

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Big Jim Slade — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:00:29 EDT

@Jefferson Short Bus: LtD > LT > Lt. Uhura > Lt. Dan > Lt. Winslow > Lt. Carl Winslow > Hot Karl

Big Jim Slade

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Secret Identity — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:00:16 EDT

Give him a break. At least he knows all his kid's names.

-Travis Henry

Secret Identity

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Jefferson Short Bus — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:58:35 EDT

@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: Lt. Uhura > Lt. Dan > Lt. Winslow > Lt. Carl Winslow > Hot Karl

Jefferson Short Bus

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

David Hume — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:58:05 EDT

@Jefferson Short Bus: you forgot "throw elbow" and "miss free throw," but pretty close.

David Hume

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

DucksOnPondScum — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:56:24 EDT

The DNA evidence linking him to Malone will inconclusive until the Bills' next SuperBowl when Bell will get Ole'd by a defender late in the 4th quarter.

DucksOnPondScum

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:56:24 EDT

@Afino: Lt. Dan > Lt. Winslow > Lt. Carl Winslow > Hot Karl

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

the earl of weaver — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:56:20 EDT

Rumor has it John Stockton set Malone up with Bell's mother, adding another tally to his career assist total.

the earl of weaver

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

EditorOfTheDailyFaberian — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:55:40 EDT

@BigJimSlade: No, he is heartless, treating his son like that. Definitely a Cold Karl.

EditorOfTheDailyFaberian

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Afino — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:55:03 EDT

@BigJimSlade:

Lt. Winslow > Lt. Carl Winslow > Hot Karl

Afino

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Babcocksure — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:54:49 EDT

Larry Bird agrees with Karl.

Although Birds daughter looked like Larry with a wig on

Babcocksure

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

VTBen — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:54:15 EDT

Karl Malone is too white to be this kid's father anyway.

Also, Dis Here Karl Malone was one of the funniest things on the Man Show.

VTBen

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Stev D — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:54:06 EDT

My Daddy touched my butthole. That's why I'm on your penny.
-Abe Lincoln

Stev D

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Weed Against Speed — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:53:45 EDT

"...and that Bell would 'earn his money on his own,"

That's a solid statement but John Stockton fed him that line in a spot where anybody could have made it.

Weed Against Speed

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

spinachdip — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:53:34 EDT

@spinachdip: *like - fucking sticky "k" key making me look like a fuckhead.

spinachdip

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

broad street bully — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:53:24 EDT

John Stockton does not approve

broad street bully

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Big Jim Slade — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:52:56 EDT

That sounds like one Hot Karl.

what?

Big Jim Slade

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

Magnakai Haaskivi — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:52:44 EDT

In ten years Roger Clemens is going to try to steal this story and make it his own.

Magnakai Haaskivi

Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His

spinachdip — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:52:34 EDT

If he would've been there, yeah, it would've been good.

Not to get all grammar nazi, but it kills me when I see the if-then clause butchered lie this. Though considering who his father is, poor grammar was probably hereditary.

spinachdip