You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry - Deadspin Comments

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

kayceebk — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:28:57 EDT

@EggandCheeseonaRoll: Weintraub?

kayceebk

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

the sieve — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:50:48 EDT

@Afino: What's the difference between Derian Hatcher and a pylon?

Pylon doesn't go for the head fake.

/rimshot
/laughter
/applause

the sieve

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

DumpDolan — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:04:28 EDT

Too bad the Ducks were already eliminate. It nixed any chances of Philly fans chanting "Gigi."

On second thought, it's not too bad the ducks were already eliminated.

DumpDolan

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

EggandCheeseonaRoll — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:33:37 EDT

Nice Gams!

EggandCheeseonaRoll

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

The HZA. — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:26:16 EDT

Wait, didn't Kenny Wu not show up until the third movie? Fuck that guy...

The HZA.

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Thundercracker — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:51:25 EDT

dad?

Thundercracker

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Lunatic Fringe — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:42:39 EDT

Hansons > Staals > Sutters > Bures

BTW Keith Primeau still sucks !

Lunatic Fringe

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

kayceebk — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:30:14 EDT

"I'm not taking a dive on Marty! I know that didn't win best picture"

/Tuturro'd

kayceebk

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Convict78 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:28:11 EDT

Clemens heard it was a good idea to date women half your age when you turned 40; he just got a head start when he was 28.

Convict78

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

HockeyMountain — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:11:12 EDT

I just skimmed over the news yesterday, but from what I heard Roger Clemens locked Mindy McCready in a basement below his house for the last 12 years... and that makes so much sense.

HockeyMountain

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Jack Clark Griswold — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:59:59 EDT

Hatcher can pull the goalie anytime she wants.

Jack Clark Griswold

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Jefferson Short Bus — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:55:32 EDT

@Weed Against Speed: On the bright side, at least it wasn't one of the five mandatory daily soccer threadjacks.

Jefferson Short Bus

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Convict78 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:55:27 EDT

@ Mr. Praline

Well-played, sir. Well-played.

*starts slow clap*

Convict78

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

SonofSpurrier — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:55:19 EDT

I put on the foil for nothing, thanks alot 'broad street bullies'

SonofSpurrier

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

RachelRayIsTheDevil — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:55:18 EDT

She's gonna go McNamee on his ass and pull out a ten year old box of used rubbers.

RachelRayIsTheDevil

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

GreatOdensRaven — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:55:01 EDT

@McCroskey: That's a bit unfair. The sheer number of concussions amongst the Lindros brothers pretty much negates any net positive from the "Stall Bros + Bure Bros + Primeau Bros."

GreatOdensRaven

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Babcocksure — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:54:42 EDT

Dear Ozzie -

please stand on your head tonight.

/Wing faithful

Babcocksure

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Adonis — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:54:22 EDT

@Secret Identity:

I'm 25... I like siding with future and potential. Makes me feel better.

Adonis

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

McCroskey — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:53:15 EDT

@Jefferson Short Bus: I didn't forget them Scott was unsure if he wanted to be included in the equation and he'll get back to me in 4-5 months.

@Balls State Explorer: They're at home, watching the game with the Ferraro Brothers

McCroskey

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Adonis — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:53:01 EDT

@Jefferson Short Bus:

Are you kidding? Do you think any of Mindy McCready's boyfriends haven't peed on her?

Adonis

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

crazyjoedavola — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:52:11 EDT

@Adonis: Well since one is a Ranger, I have to hate the entire family. Sorry, thats just the way it is.

crazyjoedavola

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Mr. Praline — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:51:52 EDT

@Jefferson Short Bus: Unfortunately, he may well have injected her in the ass.

Mr. Praline

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Weed Against Speed — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:51:46 EDT

@Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price: Whaddya mean? I find it hard to believe there is going to be a post about Clemens on Deadspin today. Where else are we going to discuss it?

Weed Against Speed

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Secret Identity — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:51:31 EDT

@Adonis: Brent and Brian were better players than people remember. Brian had a few 40-goal seasons, Brent had a 100-point season. Different era, but still.

The Staals should ultimately be better (though Jared's supposed to be a level below his three brothers, talent-wise), if Jordan and Marc fulfill their potential. Can't give it to them yet though.

Secret Identity

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Jefferson Short Bus — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:50:03 EDT

@McCroskey: On which side of the equation do the Niedermayer (sp?) brothers fall?

At least Roger didn't pee on Mindy McCready. As far as we know.

Jefferson Short Bus

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:50:01 EDT

How about the Primanti Brothers?

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Balls State Explorer_explored — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:48:49 EDT

@McCroskey: Where do the Sklar Brothers fit into this?

Balls State Explorer_explored

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:48:29 EDT

5 years statute of limitations in Florida that started the day she turned 18.

Now stop threadjacking my hockey, fuckers.

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Adonis — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:46:09 EDT

@crazyjoedavola:

The Cups number for the six is nice, as is the sheer number of games... but on sheer talent, the Staals currently win.

They'll make more combined all-star games... that I'll put money on with anyone who'd like to.

To my knowledge the Sutters only made a handful of all-star games (3 for one, and maybe one or two others)

Adonis

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Secret Identity — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:45:17 EDT

@Slothrop:

I don't think that's exactly what I was saying...

Secret Identity

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

McCroskey — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:44:16 EDT

@crazyjoedavola: Sutter Bros > Stall Bros + Bure Bros + Primeau Bros + Lindros Bros

McCroskey

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

LeagueofShadows — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:41:24 EDT

Jerry Lee Lewis laughs at the Roger Clemens.

LeagueofShadows

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Chamomiles Davis — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:40:21 EDT

In Philly, We Love to Chant for Best Picture Winners.

A-MA-DE-US! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)
A-MA-DE-US! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)

Chamomiles Davis

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

FriendsLikeJimRome — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:40:15 EDT

Hey, is that Eliot Spitzer's wh.. er.. girl friend? She IS one busy young lady, huh?

FriendsLikeJimRome

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Carlton_Whitfield — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:38:35 EDT

Relax, guys, the WWL commenters have the Clemens story covered:

what parents would let their 15,16,17 yrold daughter hang out with clemens anyway??? are they not concearned

Carlton_Whitfield

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

David Hume — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:37:59 EDT

@Slothrop: All of what you said, plus, if you've ever spent any time in Montreal, you'd observe that they're all horny little devils, too.

David Hume

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Triple B — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:36:58 EDT

@Slothrop: true, it's pretty much the only reason i get laid.

wait, what?

Triple B

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

crazyjoedavola — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:35:22 EDT

@Adonis:Blasphemy. Sutters won at least 8 cups that I am aware of. Brent was the most offensively talented of the group, and all 6 were nasty and played the game right.

@McCroskey: Kirk Muller needs to die in a fire.

crazyjoedavola

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:34:57 EDT

@Slothrop:

"She was fifteen years old, going on thirty-five, Doc, and she told me she was eighteen, she was very willing, I practically had to take to sewing my pants shut. Between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of you, I don't think it's crazy at all and I don't think you do either. No man alive could resist that..."

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Adonis — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:34:26 EDT

@Adonis: And yes, I know there's a fourth that will be drafted this year.

Still:

2nd Overall, 2nd Overall, and 12th Overall?

That's government material.

Adonis

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

LeNoceur — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:34:24 EDT

@RachelRayIsTheDevil: This won't be the last, either. There might not be any more women, but there will now be a steady trickle of "Roger Clemens is a boor/liar/dirtbag" stories. Apparently, he's even lying to his own lawyers (see: their denial of anything in appropriate vis a vis McReady).

LeNoceur

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Slothrop — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:34:02 EDT

@Triple B:

yeah, but she's Canadian, and as Secret Identity just explained, there are no laws against sex with kids in Canada. Plus, like, girls in Canada got no morals.

Slothrop

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

GreatOdensRaven — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:31:58 EDT

@Secret Identity: As well as Cam Neely, John MacLean, Jeff Beukeboom, Claude Lemieux...

...oh, you say there isn't a team in Hartford anymore? I'm shocked.

GreatOdensRaven

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Adonis — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:31:02 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak:

Staal Brothers are far more talented. Oldest is already a Stanley Cup winner, and all three were contributors at 18.

Staal DNA will be the key to withstanding biological terrorist attacks.

Adonis

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

McCroskey — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:31:01 EDT

@Doyle McPoyle: I still have nightmares thinking about "finesse" player Pierre Turgeon was traded for "gritty" Kirk Muller. "Gritty" being a synonym for "giant asshole franchise killer and general fuckwad"

McCroskey

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

futuremrsrickankiel — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:30:27 EDT

Seriously, Carey? You pick NOW to start eating it consistently? You couldn't have done this, oh, 4 games ago?

Whoops, sorry... guess this isn't a hockey thread.

futuremrsrickankiel

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Afino — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:30:13 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak:

And considering Brandon Sutter (Brent's kid) is going to be playing with a Staal brother (Eric in Carolina) next year, that is a huge affirmative.

Afino

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Triple B — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:30:08 EDT

@Slothrop: Celine Dion's manager since she was 14 ... then became married to when she was legal, doesn't agree.

As for the Habs D, it helps if you don't screen your OWN goalie. Asshats.

Triple B

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Afino — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:29:17 EDT

Derian "Ice Floe" Hatcher

I prefer just to use the old standby - Traffic Cone. He wears orange.

Afino

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:28:52 EDT

Sutter Brothers > Staal Brothers

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

LeagueofShadows — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:28:39 EDT

Do not want.

LeagueofShadows

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Secret Identity — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:27:30 EDT

@Slothrop:

In the U.S. I think it's state-by-state, and also depends on the ages of the people involved. I'd guess anywhere from 5 to 10 years would be the statute of limitations.

I also seem to recall that Texas doesn't have "statutory rape", they have various types of sexual assault of minors.

Secret Identity

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:27:21 EDT

Turgeon: I'm gonna go like this, and if you get hit its your own fault.

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Slothrop — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:26:56 EDT

@Doyle McPoyle:

which is bad, apparently. you shouldn't have sex with 15 year olds--good to know.

Slothrop

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Adonis — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:26:51 EDT

@Doyle McPoyle:

Too soon.

Adonis

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Tomato and Basil McRae — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:26:43 EDT

@Secret Identity: And right after all-time great player(-agent) Brian Lawton.

Tomato and Basil McRae

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

MattinglysSideburns — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:26:25 EDT

I still maintain that Lasse Kukkonen didn't deserve his Oscar nomination for The Cider House Rules.

MattinglysSideburns

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Doyle McPoyle — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:25:07 EDT

@Slothrop: Fucked like a 15 year-old in a kareoke bar.

Doyle McPoyle

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Secret Identity — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:24:28 EDT

@Doyle McPoyle:

Technically the shout-out was for Sylvie, not Pierre. You know, Sylvain Turgeon, who got drafted #2 overall by Hartford, right ahead of three nobodies named LaFontaine, Yzerman and Barrasso.

Secret Identity

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Slothrop — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:23:55 EDT

Deadspin LLP, what's the statute of limitations, if there is one, on statutory rape? And, does the person have to press charges?

i.e., how fucked might Roger now be?

Slothrop

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Whitey Fisk — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:23:46 EDT

They're real and they (were) spectacular.

Whitey Fisk

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

LeNoceur — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:23:38 EDT

Teri Hatcher in Tango & Cash? Yes. Scary, Skeletor, Desperate Housewives Teri Hatcher? No, thanks.

LeNoceur

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Doyle McPoyle — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:22:43 EDT

Teri hatcher's OK, but I don't want none of Jackie Chiles' leavings. And wait...was that...was that a Turgeon shout-out?! Dear God!

/throws on #77 Islanders jersey

Doyle McPoyle

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Secret Identity — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:21:16 EDT

"Is this Steve Downie? Hi, it's Elisha Cuthbert. Listen, I was watching you play, and for some reason I find myself strangely compelled to you. It's as if you remind me of someone, but I just can't put my vagin, er...finger on it."

Secret Identity

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

RachelRayIsTheDevil — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:20:38 EDT

Clemens is oh so so so so so fucked.

RachelRayIsTheDevil

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

RachelRayIsTheDevil — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:19:16 EDT

Erin who?

RachelRayIsTheDevil

You Wouldn't Like The Hatch When He's Angry

Convict78 — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 11:18:40 EDT

Threadjack/

McCready confirms affair with Clemens.

[www.nydailynews.com]

/End threadjack

Convict78