Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever - Deadspin Comments

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

MsQuinn — Sat, 03 May 2008 12:38:57 EDT

Good night, father time.

MsQuinn

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

RachelRayIsTheDevil — Sat, 03 May 2008 10:28:31 EDT

HGH rocks

RachelRayIsTheDevil

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

suntastic — Sat, 03 May 2008 00:45:27 EDT

Julio will soon write his memoirs about when he tried out for the majors and barely beat out a young Fidel Castro...

suntastic

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Munsoned — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:47:43 EDT

I iz in ur fntsy team...

hurtin ur chances

Munsoned

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Munsoned — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:44:48 EDT

I iz in ur fantasy team...

ruining ur obp

Munsoned

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

KittyLitterKing — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:40:18 EDT

Does this mean Rickey Henderson wins?

KittyLitterKing

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

heat_fan1 — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:28:51 EDT

@I Party With 33765-183:

HAHA! I cannot stop laughing! Whenever I read or see Julio Franco, I can't help but think of his monster.

And I'm not gay, but ever since that day, I'm not so sure.

heat_fan1

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Barry White Stripes, Office LW — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:53:07 EDT

@hockalees: +1...I just went and spent 22 minutes on youtube watching that episode again.

Has anyone ever noticed Ron Jeremy at the book reading in that one?

Barry White Stripes, Office LW

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Afino — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:49:28 EDT

@Matt_T:

I wouldn't mind.

Afino

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Bluenatic — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:28:34 EDT

The good news is that Franco now has more free time to read W.C. Heinz.

Bluenatic

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

hockalees — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:12:35 EDT

We tried translating it through Babelfish, but that wasn't much help.
Soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans... and pants to match. The monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would beat the donkey.
/News Radio'd

hockalees

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Rickey_Fitts — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:57:43 EDT

Can he pitch for the Yankees?

Rickey_Fitts

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

thefuseproject — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:46:17 EDT

And after discussing the Buzz issue, Wilbon lapses into a typically ignorant anti-soccer rant.

thefuseproject

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

jake(ymon) — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:44:33 EDT

PAY RICKEY!

jake(ymon)

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Barry White Stripes, Office LW — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:43:02 EDT

There is more (babelfish'd):

A great one of beisbol goes away, and with the organization of Tigers and her liking always it will be remembered by his pair of seasons batting above of 400, including 437 in the 2001. Also the director of Tigers announces that this Thursday will arrive the Puerto Rican Edwards Guzmán who will take the fourth seat from foreigners of the feline set.

True on that great one of beisbol going away...but a big WTF!? to the rest of it.

Barry White Stripes, Office LW

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Matt_T — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:43:01 EDT

[dugout.progressiveboink.com]

Matt_T

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

thefuseproject — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:40:50 EDT

Wilbon and Lebatard-ed are going to discuss Buzz's rant when they return from commercial.

thefuseproject

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

thefuseproject — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:39:04 EDT

That reads kind of like the directions to my bike rack...which explains why it's in pieces in my trunk and not actually carrying a bike.

thefuseproject

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:38:30 EDT

@McCroskey: Everyone from RBI Baseball, now, too.

Jehovahs Witness Protection Program

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

1976 Oakland Raiders — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:35:21 EDT

Damn, when he played his first game I was a 14 year old geek.

Remember that this isn't like a casual Brett Favre retirement... once you pony up to the feline director, that's it. You try to go back on your word to the F.D. and they will kill you, titles of batting be damned.

1976 Oakland Raiders

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Matt_T — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:35:10 EDT

This is sad.

I hope he joins the Braves coaching staff

Matt_T

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:35:04 EDT

I think Feline Director is the polite term for a pimp.

Weed Against Speed

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Crookednose — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:32:06 EDT

I always figured Marvin Harrison would kill somebody before Julio Franco quit.

Crookednose

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Sandburgh — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:28:49 EDT

He was once traded for Jerry Koosman. Jerry Koosman! The guy was on the '69 Mets.

Sandburgh

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Jefferson Short Bus — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:28:17 EDT

That was the most retirement announcement ever.

Jefferson Short Bus

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Detective Bunk — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:28:01 EDT

Somewhere Yostal breaks down crying with that abuse of the English language.

Detective Bunk

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

I Party With 33765-183 — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:27:57 EDT

It was the biggest monster I ever seen.

I Party With 33765-183

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

sir_pantsalot — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:27:30 EDT

@sir_pantsalot:
Maybe he will still play but he will just be less active.

sir_pantsalot

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

sir_pantsalot — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:27:02 EDT

announced to the feline director his retirement to him like active player.

sir_pantsalot

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Delmon Young 2 L Bong Rip — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:25:05 EDT

He displays many love explosion by way of buster of slumpa.

Delmon Young 2 L Bong Rip

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Paul Zuvella — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:24:43 EDT

So, are the Tigers guarding the oil tankers? Why are they in front of them?

Paul Zuvella

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

sir_pantsalot — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:22:17 EDT

Who here did not try and have their little league picture taken using Franco's batting stance?

sir_pantsalot

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

iantenna — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:20:49 EDT

henceforth he will be know as "the dominican one"

iantenna

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

A Pimp Named DaveR — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:20:25 EDT

I always get the Dominican Frank Julio and the Italian Frank Julio confused.....

A Pimp Named DaveR

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

HebrewHammer — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:19:33 EDT

They play in front of Oil tankers in the Mexican League? Boy, what goes on south of the border?

HebrewHammer

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Whitey Fisk — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:19:15 EDT

Quitter.

Whitey Fisk

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Fugees-and-Funyuns — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:19:13 EDT

Frank Julio? Is the translator dyslexic?

Fugees-and-Funyuns

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

McCroskey — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:19:12 EDT

And with that, every player from SportsTalk Baseball for the Sega Genesis has finally retired. I think.

McCroskey

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

MattinglysSideburns — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:19:12 EDT

Did Emmitt Smith write this?

MattinglysSideburns

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

J-No — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:18:36 EDT

Tips cap.

J-No

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Spectacular Sam — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:17:20 EDT

Jesus, a Barbaro message board is easier to navigate than those 2 paragraphs.

Spectacular Sam

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

MurrayHewitt — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:16:41 EDT

People make fun of him because he's old, but we all forget how good of a player he once was. I mean, how many people on Earth can claim they've harvested a batting title?

MurrayHewitt

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

André Roussimoff — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:14:03 EDT

By "feline director" you mean the chick who dresses up her cats, right?

André Roussimoff

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

muggsybogues — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:13:10 EDT

bad I feel for this run man go forever play Braves Mets now.

muggsybogues

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Yellow Tail Swine — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:12:59 EDT

and I think they should start up More Valuable Player awards for guys like Eckstein, who are scrappy.

Yellow Tail Swine

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

The Teufel Shuffle — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:12:58 EDT

My good buddy met Julio Franco at the Flushing Pitch & Putt on the day the Mets cut him last year. Franco paid for his foursome with a hundred dollar bill and walked off dejectedly to hit golf balls 60 yards. He said Franco looked older than Phil Rizzuto.

The Teufel Shuffle

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Juancho — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:12:25 EDT

Julio, let's crack open your finest vintage, shall we?

Juancho

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:12:11 EDT

decision of retirement from the baseball of professionals saddens a professor of the jerkwheats

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

Yellow Tail Swine — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:11:34 EDT

I'm not going to lie, I figured he was going to die before he retired.

Wow.

Yellow Tail Swine

Sadly, Julio Franco Cannot Play Forever

7-8 Deville — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:11:18 EDT

Needs more sour cream.

7-8 Deville