Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade? - Deadspin Comments

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Human_Cannonball — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:18:58 EDT

If Star is the best he can do. . .he should be out of Barkley's 5, forever.

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Nocturnal emissions — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:26:51 EDT

He's not fucking Star Jones! He may not be the family guy we thought he was and is probably crushing serious ass in Miami, but good lord, he publicly denounced this atrocious rumor on TNT the other night.

/Marquette grad

Nocturnal emissions

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

DAGOTRON — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:38:21 EDT

I would imagine fucking Star Jones is like fucking the old pedophile's dog from Family Guy. Or like fucking damp longjohns. Or like fucking an old catcher's mitt. Or like fucking the remains of a popped balloon. Okay I'm done.

DAGOTRON

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:35:28 EDT

@Card_Chronicle: But maybe Dwyane's association with Crean is what led to this. Would be further reason for Eric Gordon not to return to IU, too.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

ImAManImForty — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:50:21 EDT

Then why is there a picture of Martin Lawrence?

[/press 3 for uncomfortable silence...]

ImAManImForty

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:10:07 EDT

@Laser Guided: Justifiably so in this case.

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Laser Guided — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:48:33 EDT

the fact that star jones is a celebrity is why terrorists hate america.

Laser Guided

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

RachelRayIsTheDevil — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:06:53 EDT

Dwyane is depressed because he has the most misspelled name in the history of the world. Why else would he be tagging that buffo toad Star Jones?

Dwyane has always known how to find the extra crease.

RachelRayIsTheDevil

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Card_Chronicle — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:56:09 EDT

Tom Crean laughs at Dwyane Wade's current issues.

Card_Chronicle

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:53:03 EDT

@That-Dude: If that's not a link to Kadeem Hardison's actorial (?) profile, then you have failed.

@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns is the anti-Christ according to Buzz Bissinger: You forgot your "/vinny dombrowski" close-tag.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Silky John-STON! — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:47:04 EDT

Maybe he likes "The View" as he's going down on.... BLEARGH! HUUUGH!

*gasps for breath*

BLEEEEECHH!

Silky John-STON!

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:39:48 EDT

Any picture of Star Jones should be considered Nightmare Fuel.

My Government Name is Berto, But My Spiritual Name is BRONZE NAZARETH

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

VidaBlueBalls — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:33:41 EDT

O AN HE SEXY

VidaBlueBalls

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:32:14 EDT

When Star collapses Dwayne will disappear into the black hole...
/It's science

FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:30:48 EDT

@André Roussimoff: Image is everything.

Weed Against Speed

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Don_Flamenco — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:26:12 EDT

SORRY GUYS HE A STAR...O AN HE SEXY

Don_Flamenco

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

HugsFromHarold — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:24:30 EDT

Screentest for Dywane Wade in Blacula remake?

HugsFromHarold

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:21:18 EDT

@That-Dude: Sinbad and Star Jones...now that I can see

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Catenaccio — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:19:24 EDT

He's gotta thing for gastric bypass scars, which is why he hasn't hooked up with Barkley. Yet.

Catenaccio

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

André Roussimoff — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:18:28 EDT

Maybe he remembered when Agassi used to bang Barbra Streisand, and figured hooking up with an older, fatter celebrity would help him get EOS Rebel endorsements.

André Roussimoff

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

That-Dude — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:18:16 EDT

@josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you: @pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at:

Dwayne Wayne

[www.imdb.com]

That-Dude

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

FEAST — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:17:10 EDT

@TheWrathofQBEagles: It's cool, both Flash and Star have plastic faces.

FEAST

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

starksgotejected — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:16:49 EDT

His wife Whitley cannot be happy about this transformation.

starksgotejected

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

WoodBatsSteelBalls — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:16:41 EDT

I don't know what is worse, the fact that Dwyane Wade is dating Star Jones, or that he spends his free time watching made for TV movies on Lifetime.

WoodBatsSteelBalls

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

dismalScientist — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:15:13 EDT

Maybe DWade is just a discount shopper. Come on, you all know the type. The good looking dude who all the girls love, but ends up with "scratch-your-head" girlfriends.

dismalScientist

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

jwaves2007 — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:14:24 EDT

@LeNoceur:

Are you kidding? We could make fun of Star Jones penis.

jwaves2007

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Werewolf Barmitzvah — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:13:51 EDT

@MyronCopacetic: It's how he really got into Barkley's Five

Werewolf Barmitzvah

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:12:04 EDT

@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: Since you misspelled Dwyane, & Wade, & seemed to be speaking jive, I thought "Star Jone" was intentional.

/my two cents

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

J-No — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:11:50 EDT

The real shock of all this is how can he be attracted to someone this obnoxious.

J-No

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Yostal — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:11:43 EDT

See, Will's taking the right tack here. We didn't show the proper concern for what was happening to Katie Holmes and look what happened.

Yostal

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:11:15 EDT

@1976 Oakland Raiders: Free Darko Investigates w/ Dr. Lawyer Indian-Chief should be on the case. What is Dwyane's fetish?

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:09:03 EDT

@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: STAR JONES

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:08:45 EDT

c'mon...even Dewayne Wayne can do better than Star Jone

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

ClueHeywood — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:08:43 EDT

Hey, he's still in Barkley's fave five. So there's that.

ClueHeywood

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

xhack — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:07:36 EDT

I don't remember hearing about Dwyane Wade's horrible, deabilitating eye-injury last year.

Star Jones? (!!!) He can't be seeing right.

xhack

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

LeNoceur — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:07:30 EDT

fat jokes=lazy humor. You're better than this, people.

LeNoceur

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

jwaves2007 — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:05:24 EDT

@TheWrathofQBEagles:

That picture looks like Rupaul.

jwaves2007

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

1976 Oakland Raiders — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:05:21 EDT

Star probably has that fat girl mentality... "I gotta sex him up better than anyone else or I will lose him!" So maybe the freak show she throws at him really speaks to whatever bizarre fetish he has now that regular sex is boring to him.

1976 Oakland Raiders

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Carmen McFanzone — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:04:43 EDT

Hey, is Star her real name?

That is, who's the really fucked up one, Star or the person who named her?

/quite possibly both

Carmen McFanzone

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Magnakai Haaskivi — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:04:03 EDT

Is it possible that Duane Wade just went vampiric and knows that there's a lot more blood in Star Jones than there is in skinny chicks?

Magnakai Haaskivi

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

CIALIS COOPER — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:03:01 EDT

This all could have been avoided had Tom Crean left his forwarding number when he left for Bloomington.

CIALIS COOPER

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

sassydeerrun — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:02:51 EDT

@Johnny LaRue: I remember reading about it somewhere last year. Flozell is not very smooth with the ladies, and is a tightwad on a date (according to the girl who posted on the site).

sassydeerrun

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

BigRicks — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:01:29 EDT

/shit something resembling star jones in pants

BigRicks

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:00:11 EDT

He's looking for a Section 8 so he can get out of Miami. Wait, this isn't the Army? Nevermind.

UkraineNotWeak

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Johnny LaRue — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:00:07 EDT

@sassydeerrun:i'm too lazy to look this up, and too embarrassed to surf that site while at work. Did Flozell squash some chick and not apologize?

Johnny LaRue

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:00:04 EDT

This isn't fair. Dwayne Wade should be able to leave his family for Star Jones in HIS HOUSE. HIS HOUSE!

/Braylon Edwards

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Nacho Friendly — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:59:42 EDT

It is really is a shame, considering he had one of the better commercials during the early season.

Nacho Friendly

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:57:54 EDT

@Weed Against Speed: That's ok, Rosie has.

Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Timmy — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:57:43 EDT

@Bobby_Big_Wheel:
Interesting......keep in on the d/l though.

Maybe Star is a beard?

Timmy

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Balls State Explorer — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:57:43 EDT

@TheWrathofQBEagles: Scary. She still looks like a Cabbage Patch Doll.

Balls State Explorer

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

shtickless — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:56:59 EDT

Don't fall for it, Dwayne. That isn't Tracy Morgan in costume.

shtickless

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

RonZookonRedBull — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:55:06 EDT

@Becky_MI: No slump is that big.

RonZookonRedBull

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Jefferson Short Bus — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:55:00 EDT

Star Jones is a reverse slumpbuster.

Jefferson Short Bus

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Hamster-Style — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:54:53 EDT

@Encouraging Referee Pitman: +1 for the AM! lyric. Sharks circling for the feeding.

Hamster-Style

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

TheWrathofQBEagles — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:54:49 EDT

@FEAST: Poop. Didn't see your comment, sir.

TheWrathofQBEagles

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Babcocksure — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:54:07 EDT

@MyronCopacetic: there was a whale hunt with a $500 prize

Babcocksure

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

The Teufel Shuffle — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:53:58 EDT

This is the SI cover jinx gone to 11.

The Teufel Shuffle

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:53:41 EDT

@Arriaga_II:Damn! +1

The Trying Too Hard To Look Young Face

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

sassydeerrun — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:53:14 EDT

I see he has totally ripped off Elvis' Takin' Care of Business necklace.

sassydeerrun

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

TheWrathofQBEagles — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:53:13 EDT

[www.cnn.com]

So her face is just now totally plastic, right?

/shudder

TheWrathofQBEagles

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

MenaceIISobriety — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:52:40 EDT

does Blackula know he raided his wardrobe?

1..2..3 gay jokes!

ah ah ah!

MenaceIISobriety

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

PeteJayhawk — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:52:31 EDT

@francois_leroux_speedskater: He dumped his wife.

For Star Jones, apparently (!)

PeteJayhawk

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

ArkansasFred — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:52:27 EDT

It was actually Shaq in a wig.

ArkansasFred

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Becky_MI — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:52:26 EDT

Do basketball players on terrible teams use slumpbusters? Only possible explanation...

Becky_MI

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Stay Away From Oprah — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:52:22 EDT

Perhaps he just needed to work on his boxing out in the offseason and figured that if he could move Star Jones, he could move anyone.

Stay Away From Oprah

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Lady Andrea — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:52:03 EDT

I wonder if she lets him put it in her star...

Lady Andrea

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

sassydeerrun — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:51:53 EDT

Next thing you know, he'll end up on dontdatehimgirl.com with Flozell Adams.

sassydeerrun

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Johnny LaRue — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:51:45 EDT

@A Pimp Named DaveR: if she's the caboose, Jeter would have nailed her seven years ago.

Johnny LaRue

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

MattinglysSideburns — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:51:41 EDT

Star Jones? More like Entire Solar System Jones!

/She is overweight

/Puts on shoes and zips up jacket

MattinglysSideburns

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

KevinNoMaas — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:51:19 EDT

Did said hookup end up with Wade leaving in a wheelchair?

KevinNoMaas

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

ASox — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:51:03 EDT

Dennis Rodman infected him.

ASox

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

businessorleisure — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:50:46 EDT

Did he ever really recover from being valued just under Darko?

businessorleisure

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Bobby_Big_Wheel — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:50:40 EDT

I thought Star Jones was only into gay dudes.

Bobby_Big_Wheel

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:50:31 EDT

He's just nailing Star to get to Joy Behar.

Doyle McPoyle

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

FEAST — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:50:31 EDT

MUST...FIND....HI-RES..OF...THAT...PIC...OHHH...PLASTIC-FACE

FEAST

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:49:53 EDT

Is it possible that he's done every other chick in the nation, and needs Star Jones to complete the cycle?

A Pimp Named DaveR

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

ChadsMyGuy — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:49:41 EDT

Let this be a lesson to the rest of you: Careful who you let into your five.

ChadsMyGuy

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

El Gran Guapo — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:49:15 EDT

@El Gran Guapo: of this, schmuck

El Gran Guapo

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

MyronCopacetic — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:49:13 EDT

The Star Jones thing is to win a bet, right?

MyronCopacetic

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Encouraging Referee Pitman — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:48:45 EDT

I blame Miami. (Miami!) Fucking Miami. (Miami!)

Encouraging Referee Pitman

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:48:43 EDT

It's your classic case of too much, too soon. Or in the case of the Star Jones thing, way too much, never is too soon.

Gourmet Spud

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Arriaga_II — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:48:15 EDT

He had to bump Sir Charles out of his 5 because Star needed her space plus four.

Arriaga_II

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Stay Away From Oprah — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:48:15 EDT

Somebody get Joe Torre to control him.

Stay Away From Oprah

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

SlickBomb — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:48:05 EDT

When you're stealing Clinton Portis' old outfits, you know you've got problems.

SlickBomb

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:48:03 EDT

"It's just a phase he's going through I tell ya."

UkraineNotWeak

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

francois_leroux_speedskater — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:47:53 EDT

Not that this matters at all, and I'm probably way behind on my Wade gossip...but didn't he have a wife?

francois_leroux_speedskater

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Yinka Double Dare — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:47:30 EDT

/obligatory foul call joke

Yinka Double Dare

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

El Gran Guapo — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:47:20 EDT

Don't worry, Dick Bavetta will bail him out this relationship.

El Gran Guapo

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Chamomiles Davis — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:47:09 EDT

Fall down eight times, get up seven.

Chamomiles Davis

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

ghostsoftheSCupcountry — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:46:56 EDT

I blame the Round Mound for this.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

BringBackAlHolland — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:46:38 EDT

I think it has to do with the spelling of his first name. Perhaps Jhonny Peralta could give him some tips.

BringBackAlHolland

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:46:36 EDT

I wouldn't fuck Star Jones with Barbara Walters' dick.

Weed Against Speed

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Babcocksure — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:46:35 EDT

The only calls he is getting now are from groupies...how the times have changed

Babcocksure

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Johnny LaRue — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:46:23 EDT

Don't snitch, groupies.

Johnny LaRue

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Secret Identity — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:46:07 EDT

"It's my family, Star. It's not me."

Secret Identity

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

G Voll the Mole — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:46:05 EDT

(!!!)

(!!!!)

That's all I got.

G Voll the Mole

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

Civil Negligence — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:45:57 EDT

Did you know Star Jones is a lawyer?

Civil Negligence

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

I'm Hafner the man I used to be — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:45:50 EDT

the F/C on his chain stands for fat chicks?

I'm Hafner the man I used to be

Hey, Uh, Is Everything OK With Dwyane Wade?

HockeyMountain — Thu, 08 May 2008 11:45:24 EDT

Dwayne: Don't hang out with Dumbasses

HockeyMountain