LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter - Deadspin Comments

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Benny — Tue, 13 May 2008 23:29:42 EDT

I'll include this in the documentary film I'm working on - Black People Don't Tip.

Benny

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

kurt9988 — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:12:52 EDT

If Lebron has the nerve to go back to that restaurant I hope he enjoys the cook's urine in his clam chowder.

kurt9988

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

DavidTheMan — Sat, 10 May 2008 19:26:09 EDT

@HuckNPluck: 1) There is no way they can not make enough tips and get overtaxed. Their boss is required to pay them the minimum 5.15 an hour if they don't make enough in tips to cover minimum wage.

2) Whose fault is it they can't get a job? Their own, its not the people who actually have marketable skills fault that they live hand to mouth and depend on bonuses to live.

DavidTheMan

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HuckNPluck — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:42:48 EDT

@The Boy Wonder: Also, if you make enough in tips the your paycheck is actually a NEGATIVE amount because the amount of taxes that get taken out of the paycheck.

@HIV 2 Elway: If they could quit... don't you think they would? Usually waiters aren't exactly in a position to quit and go work at J.P. Morgan you silver spooned asshat.

HuckNPluck

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

sncreducer — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:36:38 EDT

@sncreducer:

On the other hand, Willie Mays was friendly, gracious, generous without being show-offy, and an all-around gentleman.

sncreducer

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

sncreducer — Fri, 09 May 2008 16:17:37 EDT

@supermike5alive:

Add Vida Blue to the list of "scum". He rang up a $98 lunch tab at my restaurant (24, at Pac Bell Park - it's now Acme Chophouse), then dropped a $100 bill on the table, told me he didn't have any more cash, and that he'd come back after the game to give me a real tip. I was exactly zero percent surprised when he didn't show up later.

Eat a dick, Vida. A hall-of-famer doesn't have a credit card?

And before any of you cheapskates move to comment, save it. I was a fucking outstanding waiter. The best part of having a "real" job now is not having my income dependent on cheap scumbags like Vida and you.

sncreducer

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

whodatmaninablacksedan — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:14:29 EDT

@DavidTheMan: Drop dead buddy.

whodatmaninablacksedan

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

whodatmaninablacksedan — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:13:49 EDT

I officially hate LeBron James

whodatmaninablacksedan

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

iHaveaRagingTebowner — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:42:53 EDT

@DavidTheMan: you're a fucking dick who doesn't deserve to eat in restaurants.

iHaveaRagingTebowner

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

iHaveaRagingTebowner — Thu, 08 May 2008 20:41:41 EDT

from experience, I can say, Ron Zook is a good tipper... and extremely intimidating.

iHaveaRagingTebowner

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Celerino Sanchez — Thu, 08 May 2008 19:24:05 EDT

@supermike5alive:
Version 5 of this supermike character is making way too much sense. I need a drink. For which, I shall tip handsomely.

Celerino Sanchez

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

supermike5alive — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:26:55 EDT

@DavidTheMan: no you're not.

any guy who acts like that by default towards servers and bartenders is a fucking prick and i would never be seen with them.

you and your striped shirt suck. you gonna valet tonight? take it easy on the brakes, champ!

supermike5alive

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Le Kangourou de Kataroo bites her thumb in your general direction — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:21:34 EDT

Anyone's surprised by this? 'Melo is the reason I quit my food and bev job out here. And Tyra's cheaper than LeBron. Just sayin'.

Le Kangourou de Kataroo bites her thumb in your general direction

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HockeyMountain — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:06:22 EDT

@NovakAintNoJokovic: I was just responding to your comment about being no incentive, there is some incentive.

(Of course there's incentive for people to get a degree and I knew a lot of college kids who wasted that opportunity too. Incentive doesn't always guarantee success...)

HockeyMountain

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

RyanBeingManny — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:01:18 EDT

hahaha. amen. and there is nothing worse than an entitled waiter. There is a difference between not being enthusiastic because you've had a tough night....... (honestly, most restaurant employees have 3 or 4 different bosses, who for the most part are either drunks or drug addicts. Besides the trouble of having to placate all of those people at once, rare is the job where you have to deal with as high a percentage of angry or disapointed customers face to face....its almost constant).....and just being a lazy asshole that works at a restaurant because its easy money with flexible hours and you don't really have to try if you dont want to. does that make sense?

RyanBeingManny

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

NovakAintNoJokovic — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:01:11 EDT

@HockeyMountain: Sounds like a meritocracy to me.

Or are you opposed to blogs now, too...

NovakAintNoJokovic

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

NovakAintNoJokovic — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:57:18 EDT

@RyanBeingManny: assholes that feel completely entitled just by walking through the door
Change "through the door" to "up to my table" and you've captured how I feel about 90% of waitstaff that I encounter who just mail it in on their jobs and don't do anything more than the bare minimum, but somehow still expect my wife's liberal guilt to convince me to give them 20-25%.

I'm sorry about your jackassed friend. I really am. If I were you, I would pee in his drink, and then afterwards tell him about it and say "See? This is what happens when you don't tip for good service. Next time the person peeing in your drink might have syphilis."

Note: this only works if you don't, in fact, have syphilis. You should get tested first, just to make sure.

NovakAintNoJokovic

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HockeyMountain — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:54:53 EDT

@HockeyMountain: The extra $'s were not for the extra $ I made.

HockeyMountain

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

bucky_katt — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:53:23 EDT

@HIV 2 Elway: The labor costs at a restaurant are going to be passed on to you one way or another--it's just a question of whether these cost are paid by the customer through tips or through higher food prices. If we did go to the no-tipping system, people would just start grumbling over higher food prices. At least with tipping, you have some control over the amount you're willing to pay out for labor . . .

bucky_katt

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HockeyMountain — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:53:13 EDT

@NovakAintNoJokovic: I've been out of service for about 6-7 years now. I can't imagine it changed that much.

Waiters have good nights and bad nights. When I had a bad night it showed in my tips, and I made about $7-8$/hour. When I had a good night I could tell and would make about $10$/hour. That money was incentive eenough for me to be good at my job.

HockeyMountain

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

RyanBeingManny — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:53:10 EDT

i was speaking more towards the colloquial use of one word versus the other, not saying that the definition of one doesn't encompas both.

And if you don't want to tip, that is fine, just don't expect to get your food or drink in a timely matter or with any sort of hook up or flair or, honestly, quality. Your choice, and that is fine.

RyanBeingManny

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

DavidTheMan — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:48:45 EDT

@RyanBeingManny: Hey you all can have all the long memories you want, but you still aren't owed 15% that is a gift.

@supermike5alive: I am.

@RyanBeingManny:

gratuity - an award (as for meritorious service) given without claim or obligation

courtesy Dictionary.com

DavidTheMan

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

RyanBeingManny — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:48:39 EDT

Honestly, I only get so riled up by this because im 28 and still tend bar (grad school) while the rest of my friends all have real jobs. They make good money, but one in particular, who has never been in any sort of service industry job, just doesn't tip (and I'm SICK of getting in this fight with him, because he just doesn't listen or understand). I apologise for taking it so personally, and honestly, its not the tippers problem that the whole industry is fucked. it's just a harder job than people get credit for, dealing with demanding people who are sometimes assholes that feel completely entitled just by walking through the door. I do believe if you don't give good service you deserve to get stiffed. be good at your job and the tips follow.

RyanBeingManny

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

NovakAintNoJokovic — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:46:21 EDT

@RyanBeingManny: Just to clarify, at what point did I say I was cheap, or that I don't tip well? I just pointed out the idiocy inherent in the current system.

NovakAintNoJokovic

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

NovakAintNoJokovic — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:45:05 EDT

@RyanBeingManny: Tipping out the rest of the staff isn't not right either. I always thought that was a stupid concept too.

And yes, I enjoy salmon, and have no problem paying $20-30 for it, if the food is prepared in a delectable manner and the plating is excellent.

And if the service is friendly and good too, I tend to give 25-30%. Otherwise, you get the straight 15%.

NovakAintNoJokovic

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

RyanBeingManny — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:44:56 EDT

Then cook ramen noodles and drink PBR at home.

RyanBeingManny

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

NovakAintNoJokovic — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:42:38 EDT

@RyanBeingManny: Yes, Sinatra was so fucking cool, and he was a great tipper too.

You know why he was such a good tipper? Not because he was so cool. No. It was because he was SO GOD-DAMNED RICH.

Frankly, I don't have hundred dollar bills laying around that I can use to tip people whenever I feel like it.

NovakAintNoJokovic

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

RyanBeingManny — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:41:57 EDT

@NovakAintNoJokovic:

And then your cheap ass looks at the menu and decides you don't want to pay 34 bucks for a piece of salmon, and if you do you complain the whole time because its totally not worth the price because its hard to consider saleries among the overhead involved in the price of a meal.

Plus, youre not just paying us, we have to then in turn tip out the bar tender the bus boys/runners and the hostest.

RyanBeingManny

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

NovakAintNoJokovic — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:37:09 EDT

@HockeyMountain: There's no incentive now either! They know they are getting tipped anyway, so what the fuck do they care? Most just do the bare minimum because they know tipping is obligatory. I say yes, build a higher price into everything, and let them work for 5-10% OPTIONAL tips.

NovakAintNoJokovic

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

RyanBeingManny — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:35:45 EDT

And if it was a gift, it would be called a gift. There is a reason they call it a gratuity/tip. Calling it a gift just makes you sound like an asshole.

RyanBeingManny

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

RyanBeingManny — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:34:21 EDT

@DavidTheMan:

Please never come into the bar I work at.

Just tip, don't be a jackass. Like Steve Martin said in My Blue Heaver, "it's not tipping I believe in, it's over tipping." Sinatra, the coolest man ever, never tipped less than a hundred, and always tipped like 30 percent.

Oh, and when I tended bar in DC Jordan totally stiffed me. Zo Morning and Eddie House, on the other hand, were great tippers

Bar owners screw over their employees, and that isn't your problem, true. Unless you are one of those guys that never eat at the same place more than once, though, you should tip, because we have great memories.

RyanBeingManny

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

supermike5alive — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:33:58 EDT

@DavidTheMan: you must be fun to go out to bars and eating establishments with!

supermike5alive

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

cardboardbelt — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:30:54 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: I'm glad we can agree on one thing: Those baristas will get tipped over my dead body.

cardboardbelt

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HockeyMountain — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:30:35 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon:

Agree. Giant difference between barista's and servers. I have no problem not tipping them because they signed up to a job without tips.

HockeyMountain

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

IchiroSuzukiSamurai — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:29:00 EDT

The waiter is lucky that Paulie Walnuts and Christopher Moltisanti weren't responsible for paying the bill.

[en.wikipedia.org]

IchiroSuzukiSamurai

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HugsFromHarold — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:23:19 EDT

Tim Tebow got a lot of tips on his trip to Africa.

HugsFromHarold

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:16:10 EDT

@cardboardbelt: I'll chalk the "Sens fan" thing up to the bitter Leaf comment. In my experience this kind of debate always gets heated and to each his own. I definetly think alot of it has to do with which side of the counter you identify with more. Personally I've worked both and in my opinion if you want more you work for it and better yourself so you don't have to rely on others to suppliment your income because you are working for a slave driver.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

DavidTheMan — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:13:36 EDT

@HockeyMountain: Thats really a tough break then. Its not my job or concern that waiters don't like their wages, either way they are going to make their $5.15 an hour and anything extra is just that extra, a gift, a bonus, at the customer's discretion.

I don't understand how someone could be mad that at the gift someone gave them.

DavidTheMan

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Laser Guided — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:11:25 EDT

sit. slowly untie apron. take long, slow drag off a camel light. say "fuck this job."

/former server

Laser Guided

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:11:06 EDT

@Jefferson Short Bus: Let's not get started on the Barisa argument. They aren't even servers. They stand behind a counter and take a fucking order. I come to them they don't bring that shit to me. McDonalds = Starbucks as far as service is concerned I don't care how you dress that pig up it's the same fucking thing. Call your sizes venti or whatever the fuck but you are already charging a hugely inflated price for your product you don't need to gouge me for your income suppliment.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

SuperFrankieLampard — Thu, 08 May 2008 17:06:26 EDT

he should have just left a bible tract. waiters love those.

SuperFrankieLampard

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

1976 Oakland Raiders — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:56:23 EDT

Darryl Dawkins used to come into a place where I tended bar. He was a great guy. He was fun to have around, everyone liked to hear his stories, and he was very generous to the help. And based on seeing him pick up the tab for the large parties he was with, I'd say he was very generous to his friends and family also.

1976 Oakland Raiders

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Magnakai Haaskivi — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:55:53 EDT

@André Roussimoff: It's hard to tip when you just gambled away your mortgage.

Magnakai Haaskivi

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

twoeightnine — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:55:04 EDT

Wah, wah, wah.

/product tie-in and shameless self-promotion

twoeightnine

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Kelvin Sampson's Rollover Minutes — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:54:58 EDT

@Rusty: Well said.

Kelvin Sampson's Rollover Minutes

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HockeyMountain — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:54:01 EDT

@DavidTheMan:
The "get a different job" argument is (almost universally) bogus. If you could get a better job you would.

I understand people not liking the way the pay structure is set up it's fine, It's a valid point, but to show your opposition to it by stiffing a waiter is about as useful as protesting illegal aliens by boycotting Taco Bell.

HockeyMountain

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

André Roussimoff — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:50:26 EDT

LeBron's just trying to be like his hero MJ. I've heard from several bartenders in DC that MJ was a terrible tipper. The number 23, the casino in the house...bad tipping was just next on the list.

André Roussimoff

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

LosOsosdeChicago — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:49:14 EDT

Tim Tebow feels his pain.

LosOsosdeChicago

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Fundamentally UnSound — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:43:52 EDT

In LBJ's "defense," the waiter wouldn't stop looking at his lemonade.

Fundamentally UnSound

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

DAGOTRON — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:43:46 EDT

@That-Dude: Agreed. I was actually trying to make a joke about the parallel between Lebron in relation to his teammates at the end of any close game and Lebron in relation to everyone else around him when the check comes after dinner. [/functioning on 1 hour of sleep]

DAGOTRON

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

1976 Oakland Raiders — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:41:15 EDT

What a divisive topic, on par with abortion and the death penalty...

Those of us who relied on tips at some point in our lives say "To hell with the cheap fucker."

Those who have never relied on tips say "Tough shit"

FYI - the hourly wages of waiters, waitresses and bartenders are a few bucks an hour. That's because tipping is standard policy in the USA

I once followed a group out to question whether opr not they intended to leave $10 omn a $140 tab. They looked at each other and tried to blame one another for not ponying up for the bill. In the end, the threw an extra $30 in, and couldn't have been more apologetic.

1976 Oakland Raiders

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

David Hume — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:40:40 EDT

@HockeyMountain: After reading what I wrote I realized I looked like a prick - which I certainly am - although not on this issue.

I may do that. At the risk of getting the snot'n pube special, of course.

David Hume

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

supermike5alive — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:40:27 EDT

@DavidTheMan: ew

supermike5alive

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

DavidTheMan — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:39:38 EDT

@Phil Mickelson's Man Tits: Sounds to me like you should get a better job then. Last time I checked federal minimum wage was $5.15 an hour, waiters get their 2.15 and tips or 5.15 an hour if the tips don't total up. If you want to get paid more get a better job, if not accept the gift that customers give you.

DavidTheMan

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Send It In, Jerome! — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:36:36 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Duly noted.

"You think it's hot?"
"Could be."
"Attaboy!"

Send It In, Jerome!

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

supermike5alive — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:36:18 EDT

[www.stainedapron.com]

the saints: Marcus Allen, Charles Barkley, Len Dykstra, Joe Frazier, Stephie Graf, Peyton Manning, Dikembe Mutumbo!, Emeka Okafor, Warren Sapp, Chris Slade, Brian Westbrook

the scum: Derrick Brooks, Derrick Coleman, Tony Dorsett, James "Buster" Douglas, Allen Iverson, Mark McGwire, Scottie Pippen, John Randal, Pete Rose, O.J. Simpson, Barry Switzer,Marcellus Wiley, Tiger Woods

supermike5alive

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

cardboardbelt — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:34:26 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Ah, A Sens fan. Thank you for confirming every prejudice I've ever had about your ilk. Never change!

I think I read about the 'ol "I start at 15% then work my way down based on your incompetence" policy in a Maxim from 1998.

Oh, and congratulations on that product code statement.

/Bitter Leafs Fan
/Former Busboy

cardboardbelt

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HIV 2 Elway — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:34:14 EDT

@supermike5alive: Sadly, I think you're dead on.

HIV 2 Elway

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HIV 2 Elway — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:33:32 EDT

I tip my hair stylist extremley well, 66%, then again she makes me look good.

HIV 2 Elway

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Jefferson Short Bus — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:32:58 EDT

@David Hume: This is precisely why Starbucks baristas get jack shit from me. They screw up my girlfriend's order every other weekend.

Jefferson Short Bus

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HIV 2 Elway — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:32:02 EDT

@shea_guevara: I'll play the game but I don't have to like it. The real issue is restaurant owners passing their labor costs on to their customers. The wait staff could receive honest wages if owning an eatery was viewed as a job rather than an investment. Owners want to pay someone else to run the dump and thus have to pay other employees piss poor so they can still receive from income. It's a different story in other countries.
/dick joke, time to get high

HIV 2 Elway

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HockeyMountain — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:31:44 EDT

@David Hume: Actually I have no problem with that. The best thing someone can do about poor service is leave a note stating the reason.

HockeyMountain

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

sir_pantsalot — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:29:53 EDT

@SlantedAndDisenchanted: You have to make sure they never run ot of strawberry soda (or some other fruit flavor soda).

sir_pantsalot

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dan Serafini — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:28:32 EDT

In Chicago, Scottie was known as "No Tippin'" Pippen.

@That-Dude: Good to hear something positive about Fonzie, other than "I am positive Soriano sucks in left field."

Dan Serafini

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

supermike5alive — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:27:27 EDT

@MurrayHewitt: kinda like the pay disparity between the person manufaturing the product and the shleppy salesman trying to pawn it off in bulk?

it's like a sales commission, yeah?

supermike5alive

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:27:23 EDT

@SlantedAndDisenchanted: and on that note... how do you blind an Asian? Put a windshield in front of them.

Thank you try the Veal and don't forget to tip your server... or not.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

David Hume — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:26:49 EDT

The tipping system, is ok for bartenders and waiters who make $4.50/hr, since it is allegedly based on service. (Not ok for the jerkoff at Dunkin Donuts)

Why then, does the aspiring actor who treats me like he's doing me a favor by acknowledging my existence, screws up my order and takes for-fucking-ever to bring my Manhattan throw a fit when I leave %10 instead of the %20 I usually toss to Flo at the diner?

Should I write a note to explain the exact relationship between attitude and compensation?

David Hume

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

That-Dude — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:26:11 EDT

@DAGOTRON: You know that happened. Seriously, assume 6 people were there, the remaining 5 could all throw in 30 bucks on their 133 dollar meals.

That-Dude

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:25:32 EDT

@SlantedAndDisenchanted: That is a bullshit generaliztion. I'm a horrible tipper and I'm not black.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

the littlest rebel — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:25:20 EDT

Don't worry, Dick Bavetta will bail him out of this

the littlest rebel

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Triple B — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:25:06 EDT

Is everyone really arguing the merits of tipping on Deadspin?

/ misses dick jokes

Triple B

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Magnakai Haaskivi — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:24:59 EDT

Lebron's very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't his fault. It would seem to him that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask him to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, he'll sign it, put it to a vote, he'll vote for it, but what he won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit he's got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting him to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuckin' surprise.

Magnakai Haaskivi

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:24:46 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon:
...I'm not paid [peanuts] by the hour

and theres the rub.

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

The Fan’s Attic — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:24:10 EDT

Oh, and, if you are a waiter in a chain restaurant, I'll tip more if don't come by every five minutes to make sure everything's ok. If it's not, you'll be goddamn certain that I'll make sure you know. I'm an asshole like that.

The Fan’s Attic

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

SlantedAndDisenchanted — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:23:45 EDT

@Jefferson Short Bus:
It's a gross generalization obviously--like Asians can't drive--but I waited all over the place in three different cities and based on that market research I can say that I almost always got stiffed by black customers. Like literally almost always. It was a phenomenon that was pretty much understood at the restaurants I worked at.

SlantedAndDisenchanted

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:23:30 EDT

@Send It In, Jerome!: I think I owe you part of @Carlton_Whitfield: this.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HockeyMountain — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:22:54 EDT

@Phil Mickelson's Man Tits: You may not like shelling out "extra" money after a meal, but if waiters were salaried instead, the restaurants would just build that cost into the menu price.

Not to mention the service would be poor because there's no incentive for the server to actually work hard.

HockeyMountain

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

stupidjerk — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:22:51 EDT

@nico002: will you be saying that when he's calling MSG home after his contract runs out?

stupidjerk

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

kjack — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:22:50 EDT

XO is where the Cavs usually party after home games. They have a private room and local yokels hover around hoping to catch a glimpse of LBJ. Either he doesn't have a history of being a bad tipper or the establishment has determined that keeping him as a customer is worth allowing their servers to get stiffed. Also, maybe LeBron is just bad at percentages.

kjack

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:22:43 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: "It has other functions!"

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:22:37 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: ... I give up...

Carlton_Whitfield

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Triple B — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:22:32 EDT

Or maybe LBJ is just dumb ... he fired his agents so he could hire his friends to rep him - he has to be retarded

Triple B

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:21:35 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: +1. "Hey, mine doesn't have a 7!"

Carlton_Whitfield

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

BigJimSlade — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:21:19 EDT

To stay consistent, Lebron refused to pay for cab fare for his 'dates' the next morning.

BigJimSlade

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:21:14 EDT

@Send It In, Jerome!: Mother FUCKER!@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: one damn minute to late.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HockeyMountain — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:20:51 EDT

@sir_pantsalot: Me too, then there'd always be hot big-breasted women at the doctor's office, DMV and pretty much everywhere I went.

HockeyMountain

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

The Fan’s Attic — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:20:51 EDT

You know what really pisses me off? Having to pay gratuity on my wedding catering two weeks before I even get married.

Those fuckers have no incentive to even provide decent service now. I don't go into a fucking restaurant, make reservations two weeks in advance and give the bastard 50 bucks to tip on their service I haven't received. Fuck. Them. Fuck them right in their cornholes.

The Fan’s Attic

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

That-Dude — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:20:22 EDT

On the flip side, Alfonso Soriano is a great tipper according to my sources.

Seriously, dude tips his whole per diem on 12 dollar chicken fingers.

That-Dude

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Phil Mickelson's Man Tits — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:20:21 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Typical wage for waiters is between $1.50/hr and $2.50/hr (Minimum wage laws do not apply). For a full-time waiter, that equals about $5,000 a year, with no benefits.

You may not like shelling out "extra" money after a meal, but if waiters were salaried instead, the restaurants would just build that cost into the menu price.

Phil Mickelson's Man Tits

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

shea_guevara — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:20:00 EDT

@HIV 2 Elway: Quit and do what? Not everybody has that luxury.

If you have enough money to eat out, you have enough money to tip, end of story.

shea_guevara

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:19:59 EDT

I'll agree that "above average" service does warrant a tip. But the expectation that tips are supplimental to income is silly. I walk in a restaurant and start at %15. Start making mistakes or ignoring me and the number goes down. Impress me, surprise me, the number goes up. If you just take my order, give me my food and don't bother to check "how is everything" or even see if I need a drink refill say once every half a fucking hour well why the fuck should I give you a tip because you are apparently doing the bare minimum of what your job requires.

I promptly finished the product code statement at work yesterday before it was due. Where is my tip? I worked overtime at month end but I'm not paid by the hour. Where is my tip? Not expected... earned people.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

drewheyman — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:19:55 EDT

as a former waiter, cook, and dishwasher, waiter is the most profitable and easiest job in a restaurant.

drewheyman

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

MurrayHewitt — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:19:46 EDT

I always thought it was funny that dudes are in the back, sweating their asses off and cleaning nasty shit and only make like minimum wage to 15/hr max...meanwhile some bubbly young lass waits tables (not easy, but not backbreaking by any stretch) and nets 200-300 for 6 hours of work?

Servers should only complain if they work at anything in the Ponderosa-Denny's-local diner class. You are the T.O.'s of the restaurant world.

/Republican
//kidding

MurrayHewitt

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Phony Gwynn — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:19:32 EDT

@Send It In, Jerome!: @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: "Mine doesn't have a 7!"

Phony Gwynn

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

The Boy Wonder — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:19:28 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: In Boston, their hourly wage is $2.31/hr. So yea, they get a wage, only its roughly 66% less than minimum wage.

The Boy Wonder

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Karlifornia — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:19:23 EDT

And LeBron then fulfilled his promise of shooting whatever percentage he tipped against the Celtics.

Karlifornia

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

supermike5alive — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:19:03 EDT

what an absolute dick.

GO CELTICS!

supermike5alive

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

sir_pantsalot — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:18:58 EDT

@HockeyMountain: I only wish that the DMV, doctors and many other prefossions got paid this way.

sir_pantsalot

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

DAGOTRON — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:18:44 EDT

To be fair, when the end of the night came, everyone else at the table just stood around waiting for Lebron to do something.

DAGOTRON

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Jefferson Short Bus — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:18:38 EDT

@SlantedAndDisenchanted: I'm not.

Jefferson Short Bus

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

blogsarefun — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:18:38 EDT

@HIV 2 Elway: I'm sorry, but saying 'if you don't like it, just quit' is ignorant. For a lot of people, waiting on tables or bartending is the only job they can get that pays relatively well.

Telling a single mother to 'just quit' if she 'doesn't like it' is not very realistic.

blogsarefun

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

The Fan’s Attic — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:18:00 EDT

It's not Lebron's fault. Tebow just got there before the waiter.

The Fan’s Attic

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

donkeypuncher — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:17:49 EDT

Scottie "No Tippin'" Pippen sat outside XO, grinning like Miyagi at the end of the Karate Kid.

donkeypuncher

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Spanish Necktie — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:16:33 EDT

Maybe the service was just slow and horrendous? I mea, Christ, he was there until 3:45.

Spanish Necktie

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Nacho Friendly — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:16:26 EDT

How is it a steakhouse in Cleveland can stay open til quarter to 4am, and every place in LA shuts down at 1:45am?

Nacho Friendly

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

The_Dark_Side_of_Oz — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:15:21 EDT

maybe he found a fingernail in his food...or maybe he didn't

The_Dark_Side_of_Oz

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:15:12 EDT

The problem is BronBron's tip calculator was a "Wilard".

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

That Just Happened — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:15:05 EDT

for what it's worth...Cleveland Scene is one of those free weekly news/tabloid rags.

You know...the kind that have the transvestite ads in the back..err um...yeah.

That Just Happened

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HockeyMountain — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:15:02 EDT

@DavidTheMan:
Yes god forbid there be a service industry job where a person's pay is directly proportional to how good they are at the job (or the size of their breasts).

See how much better service a flat-rate pay institution, like say the DMV, treats it's customers than waiters.

/former waiter

HockeyMountain

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Send It In, Jerome! — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:14:59 EDT

In LeBron's defense, he was using a Willard to determine the proper gratuity.

Send It In, Jerome!

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HIV 2 Elway — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:14:51 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: I could go on hour long rants on this. Waiters act as if they are sweatshop workers being forced to work. If you don't like the wages/hours/working conditions, fucking quit.
Still, LeBron was a d-bag before we knew he was a bad tipper, now just more so.

HIV 2 Elway

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Chaunceyshammy — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:14:48 EDT

just fukn tip people! if u can't afford to tip than don't eat out so damn much!

Madden, Kruk and Mangino do not apply to this rule

Chaunceyshammy

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Brazil Thrill — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:14:44 EDT

@nico002: The biggest tool in sports? Really? He would certainly fall behind the entire Knicks roster, and probably everyone who played for New York from the mid-90's on.

Brazil Thrill

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Rusty — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:14:40 EDT

@DavidTheMan:

Anyone who doesn't sympathize with waiters is an asshole. They make $2.50 an hour. They depend on tips.

Fuck LeBron.

Rusty

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

IsoldmysoultoMilhouseVanhouten — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:13:47 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: @BigTenObsession:

Yeah, but servers get paid below minimum wage because most of their income is from tips.

IsoldmysoultoMilhouseVanhouten

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

futuremrsrickankiel — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:12:27 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: As a waiter or waitress, you make a nominal wage of about $2.something an hour. Your wages are supposed to be made in tips. They're not just gravy.

futuremrsrickankiel

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

BigTenObsession — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:12:25 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon:

most of the time, restaurants pay at or below minimum wage with the expectation of the front of the house splitting all tips as a supplement

BigTenObsession

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

HIV 2 Elway — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:12:19 EDT

LBJ will never hold a candle to Kosar. Never.

HIV 2 Elway

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

blogsarefun — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:12:14 EDT

@DavidTheMan: People who don't tip are scumbags. Simple as that.

blogsarefun

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Brazil Thrill — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:12:09 EDT

By the way, shouldn't tips be a form of compensation for stellar service received, instead of an expectation even mediocre waiters have? Shouldn't waiters be paid more, so that they don't live or die by the amount of tips they get?

Brazil Thrill

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Phony Gwynn — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:11:55 EDT

Hey, that's about a dollar for each point scored in Game One against the Celtics.

Phony Gwynn

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

asliceofbacon — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:11:38 EDT

Wait a sec, $10 is a bad tip on an $800 tab? My grandfather is rolling around in his grave.

asliceofbacon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

BigTenObsession — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:11:33 EDT

@Dany Heatley Speedwagon:

egg-fucking-xactly

BigTenObsession

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

the sieve — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:11:30 EDT

@Arriaga_II: I hate it when restaurants do that.

I'm a 20-25 per center, especially if a server has to put up with/clean up after my kids. But if they stick me with a forced 15 or 18 per cent gratuity, well, that's all they're getting.

Course it's douches like LeBron here who force them to resort to demanding tips up front.

the sieve

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:11:07 EDT

@Phil Mickelson's Man Tits: This kind of stuff always starts arguments but correct me if I'm wrong doesn't the Restaurant pay you a wage?

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

BigTenObsession — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:10:28 EDT

@King of Pants:

Yeah, but he's still a douche. You have to be a complete asshole to leave ten fucking dollars on an $800 tab. I'm not asking him to calculate the 20%, but he had to know that $10 was an insult.

BigTenObsession

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dany Heatley Speedwagon — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:09:56 EDT

@DavidTheMan: While I'm very inclined to agree with you, I must say that I'm guessing the treatment for a VIP such as King James was probably better than a schmoe like myself would get if I strolled into a place like that late at night and wanted to be waited on until almost 4 in the morning. For that extra bit of service and ass kissing you would think he'd leave a little more than $10 on an $800 tab. Forget the "standard" 10%, or 20% or whatever rules people have... but $10 on 8 hun just ain't right.

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

The Big Picture — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:09:51 EDT

XO will now establish automatic gratuity on 17% for cheap superstars.

The Big Picture

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

nico002 — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:09:03 EDT

Marbury is mentally retarded. Lebron is just a toolshed.

nico002

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

nico002 — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:08:39 EDT

@ Brazil

You're wrong.

nico002

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

crap — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:07:57 EDT

@nico002: Oh, a Marbury fanboy, even better. Because he's not a tool.

crap

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

David Hume — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:07:55 EDT

@nico002: LeBron's closeted?

David Hume

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Chaunceyshammy — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:07:47 EDT

this happens way more than you think

Chaunceyshammy

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Brazil Thrill — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:07:07 EDT

@TheHogBlogger: Doh!

@nico002: I don't think King James cracks the top 1,000 in the "Tools In Sports" list.

Brazil Thrill

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

King of Pants — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:06:47 EDT

It's almost like he's a 23-year-old multimillionaire athlete and international celebrity who's been told he's God's gift to basketball since he was a teenager, and thus has no way of having any real empathy for anyone who hasn't been raised in that matter.

King of Pants

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:06:35 EDT

@Natrone Means Business: Damn...

Carlton_Whitfield

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

muggsybogues — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:06:35 EDT

Hate stories like this. For chrissakes, dude, throw a G on the table and be done with it.

muggsybogues

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

shea_guevara — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:06:32 EDT

Witness [a cheap douchebag]

shea_guevara

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:06:21 EDT

this guy keeps putting too much garlic in the sauce.

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

SlantedAndDisenchanted — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:06:17 EDT

I love black people. I would be friends with a black person if the opportunity ever came up. Go Obama!, etc.

But black people are just horrendous tippers. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

SlantedAndDisenchanted

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

DAGOTRON — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:05:52 EDT

"'Listen, there won't be any tip. But in the afterlife, you'll achieve total consciousness.' So I got that going for me, which is nice."

DAGOTRON

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:05:45 EDT

Sorry, but you're still not getting anyone to root for Boston.

Doyle McPoyle

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:05:43 EDT

So I guess that photo is LeBron playing the world's tiniest violin for all the world's waitresses?
/Mr. Pink'd

Carlton_Whitfield

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Natrone Means Business — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:05:41 EDT

/motion's with fingers

Here's the world's smallest violin playing for all the waiters.

Natrone Means Business

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

futuremrsrickankiel — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:05:40 EDT

UGH. What a dick. One more reason I hope the Celtics shut him down again tonight. WE ARE ALL WITNESSES

I waited on Bill Cowher once, and he's a good tipper.

futuremrsrickankiel

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Dead Wrestlers Society — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:05:25 EDT

As someone who worked as a cook, I say fuck the front of the house.

Dead Wrestlers Society

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Phil Mickelson's Man Tits — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:05:17 EDT

@DavidTheMan: Yeah, it's so ludicrous to expect to get, ya know, paid for your job.

/Former waiter.

Phil Mickelson's Man Tits

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

brougham — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:05:02 EDT

@Afino: De-Mo-NAY! De-Mo-NAY!

A personal chef may be in order.

brougham

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Brazil Thrill — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:04:47 EDT

I'm not that surprised. Ilgauskas and Varejao are the ones who handle all the tips on the Cavs roster.

Brazil Thrill

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

TheHogBlogger — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:04:20 EDT

It's odd that he hasn't learned from Big Z's tipping skills.

/bad joke

TheHogBlogger

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

nico002 — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:04:11 EDT

Nope, just a disgruntled knicks fan.

nico002

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

DAGOTRON — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:03:35 EDT

Look, now he's flipping us off!

DAGOTRON

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

BradLee — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:03:10 EDT

He tips the refs better.

BradLee

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Arriaga_II — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:02:48 EDT

You mean to tell me Lebron's posse isnt big enough to meet the requisite 'parties of 8 or more' mandatory 18% tip?

Arriaga_II

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

crap — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:02:30 EDT

@nico002: Aw, bitter Kobe fanboy.

crap

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Suss-- — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:02:05 EDT

Well, in his defense, he had to get gas that day.

Suss--

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

nico002 — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:01:28 EDT

Lebron is the biggest tool in sports. I can't stand the bitch. The Kanye West of basketball.

nico002

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Thrillhouse — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:00:43 EDT

Roy Williams is proud.

Thrillhouse

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

DavidTheMan — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:00:31 EDT

I"m sick of waiters expecting tips for doing their jobs.

DavidTheMan

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter

Afino — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:00:05 EDT

This is what French nobles like to call your requisite Bourgeois Bitch-Slap.

Usually you pay double for that, Cotton!

Afino