<![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> There's just something morally wrong in getting a massage from a nun. I don't care if the money goes to a good cause or not. How do you look yourself in the mirror after that and think, "Boy, that certainly felt good!" And if it didn't, then what was the point?

NYSportscene

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @MustacheofMilesTarver: He didn't mention the Vikings, I'm assuming, because they play in the fall/winter and therefore don't compete with the SP Saints.

Rick Chandler

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Once upon a time, there used to be a 13" TV in center field called the Sony MiniTron. The announcer would regularly direct our attention towards it for important replays. Unfortunately, an umpire demanded its removal after the Saints were caught playing a porno tape on it as a means of distracting the opposing team's outfielders.

Bos'un's Mate

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> I've been massaged by that nun. Please see photographic evidence here: [flickr.com]

But, the disturbing part isn't until after she finishes with the massage, where she asks "was it good for you?" Then you have to hug her. Again, additional photographic evidence here: [flickr.com]

And the pig bringing out baseballs can be seen here: [flickr.com]

Max2068

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> The Fort Worth Cats? For the love of Christ, what's their mascot -- Sammy Davis Jr.?

CaseyDick-in-a-Box

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Seems that Susan Sarandon is a little confused on which movie got the sequel.

Tyrone Briggs

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @White Speed Receiver: I still have nightmares of Rich Robertson.

Hubert Humphrey Methadone

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @White Speed Receiver: I haven't forgot...

The horror... the horror...

Hubert Humphrey Methadone

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> I bet this nun would have had a calming affect at the Cedric Benson boat party.

Darian McPeterson

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @DrJimmy: Mainly because it was Mike Veeck's Disco Demolition Night.

Bill let it happen, but it was Mike's idea.

Billy Clyde Puckett

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> I can't believe nobody's mentioned Bill Veek's late 1970s Disco Destruction night.

DrJimmy

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> There's a joke about sitting on Bud Selig's face in there somewhere. But I'm afraid to think too long about it.

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Monkey in the TV booth? Leave that the Mud Dawgs and Barons of the world. That's not the Saints way.

Arriaga_II

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> "Of course there have been some ideas that haven't worked out, such as the infamous Mime Day about eight years ago."

I can throw a hot dog at a mime? Sounds like it worked out fantastically!

blackheartededitor

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Nothing is surprising with this team. During the Twins era that time forgot (1993-2000ish), the Saints regularly outdrew them for games.

White Speed Receiver

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> That's a massage so good, you're guaranteed to rise again.

blackheartededitor

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> "What the f*ck is a monkey doing in the booth?"

-Bert Blyleven

Tomato and Basil McRae

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> I once was at a Saints game where they attempted to break a Guinness World Record for Most People Brushing Their Teeth At The Same Time in between innings. I still pity the guys who had to walk around collecting everyone's spit cups.

Marth

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @EddieRebel: Only if he can get a break on that restraining order keeping him 250 yards away from any phallic meat products.

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> "This area has the Twins and the Timberwolves, Lynx and the Wild, plus several college teams."

Apparently the Vikings moved to L.A. and I missed it.

Tomato and Basil McRae

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> insert Andrew Dice Clay joke.

CharlesBronsonPinchot

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> haaaaave merrrrcy.

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Not to mention the Japanese guy who the Saints hire to simply walk around the stands and be Japanese.

Marth

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Less than a week after a buddy of mine won some kooky Saints raffle to rassle in a Sumo suit at home plate, I ended up spending the better part of the day with Bill Murray and it legitimately warmed the cockles of his heart knowing my friend had a blast in the Sumo suit. He really cares about the team he's got up there.

the.munson

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> "claaaasss, claaaasss, SHUUUUTTTT UPPPP!"
/sister mary elephanted

roland_t_flakfizer

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Reminds me of the old joke, What kind of meat do Catholics eat on Fridays? nun.

/went to Catholic school for 9 years

UpstateUnderdog

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @EddieRebel: Randall Simon? Then we really don't want anybody throwing hot dogs at the monkey.

The Legend of Vincent Tremblay

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> When the nun is sick a priest fills in and he always throws in a happy ending for the children.

sir_pantsalot

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Fucking mimes.

/Shakes the Clown'd

Michael Bertin

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Best outdoor baseball in the Twin Cities*

*Might still be true in 2010

Tomato and Basil McRae

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> We're going to bring in a real monkey, who will perform several of the tasks that we usually do...

I thought I clicked on the Minor Enterprise link, but I guess I ended up in the Mariotti post.

Arriaga_II

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> "Massage from a nun" gives new meeting to "Seven Minutes in Heaven."

HugsFromHarold

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> I haven't had a good nunjob since 7th grade at Holy Family.

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> I would go to a game to buy cheap hot dogs just to throw them at a mime. They should really think about bringing that one back.

sir_pantsalot

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Minnesota for the win.

Russian Experiment

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @cowbell204: She'll resurrect your libido, that's for sure.

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Whoa. This "blog post" was too much like an actual news story for my tastes. Background information? Quotes from individuals related to the topic at hand? My head is spinning.

Jen P

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @cowbell204: not only that but a half and half. yeah, I've been to an Asian massage parlor before.

/going to hell

UpstateUnderdog

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @UpstateUnderdog:
/creams pants

MeSoHornsby

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Sad to report they had to cancel "A Monkey Can Do That!" night, as the monkey was just hired as Commissioner of Major League Baseball.

RonZookonRedBull

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @cowbell204: yes and its so good you will find yourself praying for what she refers to as the second cuming

Paul Zuvella

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> great promo for all of those with a nun fetish.

UpstateUnderdog

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> "Massage from a nun" is right up there with "threesome with my boss and landlord" on the list of things that make my dick try to retreat inside my body.

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @EddieRebel: Damn, got my late 90s black Braves players screwed up.

HebrewHammer

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Randy Moss Hood Ornament Night

You got two if you paid in straight cash, homey.

Afino

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @Brazil Thrill: Is a bear Catholic?

amorphous

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> There is awesome tailgating at Midway Stadium as well. In fact, a lot of people never even make it into the game.

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Guy Tracy < Bess Marvin

Doyle McPoyle

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @cowbell204: Does the Pope sh*t in the woods?

Brazil Thrill

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> How are they going to get the mimes out of the glass boxes?
/shows self out

Carlton_Whitfield

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> The Pawtucket Red sox have a similar promotion if you just replace "nun" with "priest" and "massage" with "innapropriate touching".

Dany Heatley Speedwagon

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> @HebrewHammer: You're doing it wrong...racist

Artie Fufkin

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> God, I miss the Twin Cities.

stealofthedraft

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Is Randall Simon going to play first at A Monkey Could Do That?
/rockered

Artie Fufkin

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> "We're going to bring in a real monkey, who will perform several of the tasks that we usually do," Aronson said.

It was nice to hire Brian Jordan, but didn't we learn from John Rocker that it is racist and insulting to call him that?

HebrewHammer

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> Does she give happy endings?

cowbell204

]]> <![CDATA[Saints Be Praised: St. Paul Rewriting The Book On Baseball Promotions]]> /kicks lifeless monkey in the crotch

DennyCrane

]]>