<![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime? - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime? - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I never understood the apprehension of the condom purchase- even finishing high school in the "liberal stronghold" of Leavenworth, Washington (maybe it is now- not the case in 1988). It was like "yeah, I am going to fuck- and I'm not even going to have to sweat the whole next month".

Maybe it didn't help my reputation, but maybe it did...

Bullet_Tooth_Tony

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Quite a shame. All he was trying to do was live by the Purdue Code - "We're Boilermakers, not Babymakers."

/loses traction in the campaign to become a commentator

CaseyDick-in-a-Box

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Do you think buying condoms and wine coolers or Zima sets off an alarm at Chris Hansen's?

Rickey_Fitts

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I was buying a six-pack once around midnight when a guy I knew from high school gets in line behind me...with condoms, lube and whipped cream. I let him go ahead of me.

Rickey_Fitts

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> The real victim here is the drunk girl at his apartment who was waiting for him to return home.

jwaves2007

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Weed Against Speed: I always liked buying them in huge quantities. That really throws off the clerk.

7-8 Deville

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Weed Against Speed: Or Handi Snacks.

MeSoHornsby

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Weed Against Speed:

Ooh, and a bag of Warheads.

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @David Hume: +1, screen spitter

Laser Guided

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @racistmascot_inc: All that says to me is that you plan on making her breakfast in bed the next morning.

What a romantic you are!

Clare

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @racistmascot_inc: And how about a box of Capri Suns? That'll get them thinking.

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Clare: My wife is a high school teacher. I want to find a store where one of her students works as a cashier, stock up on all sorts of birth control items, and pay with a check.

MeSoHornsby

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @David Hume:

Even that makes sense with some sexual practices. How about lube, condoms and a box of Fruit Loops?

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Weed Against Speed: @pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: Seriously. What's there to be ashamed about? I wanna wave the box around like, "Woo hoo, check it out, y'all, mama's gettin' some tonight!"

Clare

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @MeSoHornsby: Which is a total misapprehension - do you think you're actually going to get to use the astroglide if you have stank-ass breath?

It'd be different if he was buying lube and say, adult diapers.

David Hume

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Weed Against Speed:

Even if you're buying Gundam condoms?

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Weed Against Speed: You mean you don't put them on your head?

/goes to get lunch from mom at top of the steps

Civil Negligence

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Weed Against Speed: Same theory I have with buying pads for the wife. Hell, I don't use 'em.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Weed Against Speed: it's even better when she (or he, ladies....and Vince)are there in the CVS line with you

Jerkwheat

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @MeSoHornsby:

Hey, I like to have minty fresh breath during sex.

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @BigRicks: Wiffle ball bat, dog collar, and economy size ice pack. THAT'LL do it.

DaOtter

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I've always found buying condoms is easier if I buy other stuff at the same time, like lube, duct tape, rope and a hunting knife.

David Hume

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I never understood the practice of stealing condoms. The only thing buying them reveals is that you are going to get laid.

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @BigRicks: Once, when I was buying non-birth control items at CVS, my cashier was saying to the other cashier "I love it when people buy KY and gum. I mean come on, dude, you came here for the KY. Oh, hi, do you have a CVS card?"

MeSoHornsby

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Weed Against Speed: Well done.

StuScott Booyahs

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> If the Coach really doesn't want his players having sex, all he needs to do is give his players a case of Natty and Mario Kart. Worked like a charm for me.

Stev D

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Please tell me Evangelion condoms are next.

racistmascot_inc

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I found back in the day that one of those 99 cent bags of Doritos covered the box nicely on the scanner belt. Find the youngest cashier in the joint and stare at the floor. Anyways, with today's self-checkouts, there's no excuse for stealing condoms.

Arriaga_II

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I always tried to slip it in with a purchase of something random, like a copy of Better Homes & Gardens, you know, to throw em off.

BigRicks

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @StuScott Booyahs: That wouldn't be too much different from my life now, actually.

Doyle McPoyle

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Animated Robot Condoms: Now you and your tiny penis can disappoint the woman in your life twice!

amorphous

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Civil Negligence: I prefer rabbit skin.

LeagueofShadows

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I've seen video footage of ways not to get a girl pregnant, but Williams will have to round up five other guys and a crying Japanese schoolgirl to make it work.

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> What kind of girl wouldn't laugh at the very idea of Pokemon condoms? Oh, I get it!

FriendsLikeJimRome

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Chicken Wings: John Kruk claims Sack II condoms are discriminatory.

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Who's Purdue's first opponent? Our Lady of Wannamalaya? That would expalin it. I would've made the kid go to a sex ed class.

ghostsoftheSCupcountry

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Unfortunately, birth-control supplies are not available for free from Liberty Medical.

Yinka Double Dare

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> That's why I avoid this whole mess and just steal some Seran Wrap from the supermarket.

Civil Negligence

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> "Come on, baby. It's my birthday!"

-God

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Weed Against Speed:

It'll be for their pleasure!

Gourmet Spud

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Just have her drink a Dr. Pepper. Right? Right?

Spectacular Sam

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Boy, his is sure going to get ribbed by his teammates for this one!

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Doyle McPoyle: Why, so you can be smelly and covered in spooge?

StuScott Booyahs

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I don't care, I still wanna know what Arte Moreno thinks about this

RowdyRoddyPeeper

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @DwayneBoweCoalition: 60% of the time , it works every time.

LeagueofShadows

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: Whatever that is.

LeagueofShadows

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Finally, a post where I can share my Black Power Condom pictures from Korea!

We are all brack people

DwayneBoweCoalition

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: I wonder if he even knows what lamaze is.

MeSoHornsby

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @LeagueofShadows: Wonder if he'll go to lamaze class with her though.

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> So, is the "Sack II" condom supposed to go over "everything?" The fact that there is a sequel is equally intriguing.

Chicken Wings

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @1_win_per_arrest: +1

StuScott Booyahs

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Sherrill-Theory:

Apparently Torii Williams was not sponge-worthy

starksgotejected

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Tebow2007: I hate your guts

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> These condoms must have been packed in a six year old's Happy Meal. A very Happy Meal.

amorphous

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Pay Less? I thought they just sold crappy shoes

Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> He should've just jerked off in the library like the rest of the Big Ten.

Magnakai Haaskivi

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @UpstateUnderdog: Neither does my wife.

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Payless Shoes sells condoms now?

Tebow2007

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> No need for condoms if the girls stays on top (I've heard they cannot get pregnant that way).

/recycled

ReggieDunlop

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I'm being charged with a crime, is that what this is? I'm being charged with a crime? This is funny, thats what this is. This is....I'm gonna rip the eyeballs outta your head and piss in your dead skull!!!

/Jessep'd

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> dumb ass could have hit the local Planned parenthood, I'm pretty sure they give away condoms for free there. However, I'm willing to bet he has no idea what Planned Parenthood is.

UpstateUnderdog

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @Matt_T: Doesn't matter, she'll still visit a sperm bank.

LeagueofShadows

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Why would anyone want condom flavored gum?

1_win_per_arrest

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I can imagine Rex's frustration when he barely missed a huge endorsement opportunity by them deciding to go with "Love Cannon."

Chicken Wings

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> I have an anecdote from our local police blotter. One night a couple months ago, a cop stopped a teenage boy biking late at night. He asked where he was going and the cop offered him a ride, since it was somewhat of a distance, and because it was cold. Before the kid got in the car though, the cop had to search him. Anyways, the cop found a condom in his pockets. When they got back to the kids house, the cop told his parents what he found and the cop told the kid it was illegal for him to have sex. Not sure if it relates but I thought it was funny.

LeagueofShadows

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> It's because his lady made him wear two at once.

Matt_T

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @SteveJeltzFan: @IfindUrlacherfaithdisturbing: indeed!

Jerkwheat

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> WTF? How can you be in college and not have access to tons of free Lifestyles, at the very least?

Jerkwheat

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @MattinglysSideburns: whuuuu?

/Henry'd

cowbell204

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> @DumpsterDining: /shows you out

StuScott Booyahs

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Lay-tex Con-Dome? Man, I wish I lived in one of those.

Doyle McPoyle

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Condom package number 3 in the photo references Gum.

I don't want there to be any connection between chewing and my wang.

The Fan’s Attic

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> The "Love Cannon"? Now that just seems uncomfortable.

TheLou-Do

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Well he certainly Paid Less.

MeSoHornsby

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> He was just stealing them for a friend.

StuScott Booyahs

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Is there a College/University (non-Catholic) that actually doesn't give out free condoms in 2008? I find that hard to believe. Hell, I was in college almost 15 years ago (sigh) and there were baskets of them scattered all around the health center for the grabbing....you didn't even have to talk to anybody.

IfindUrlacherfaithdisturbing

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Better to be a safety than sorry....

DumpsterDining

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> The solution is clear: Make the woman you're intent on not impregnating boost some Today Sponges.

Sherrill-Theory

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> He can't go to the health center and grab a fistful from the free condom basket like the rest of us did?

SteveJeltzFan

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> ron mexico could benefit by reading this.

The Big Picture

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Joe Tiller won't stand for birth control. He wants his players to emulate Travis Henry and Lance Briggs.

The Fan’s Attic

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Wait wait wait...someone else is a Torii? Why?

TheDerridaDrop

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Come here baby and let me show you the World's Largest Drum.

Spanish Necktie

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Apparently in the Lance Briggs household using condoms is a crime.

DumpsterDining

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> Con-dom?

/Kemp'd

MattinglysSideburns

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> On one hand, he should be commended for using a condom. On the other hand, why is he getting them from the same store as Lance Briggs?

Cialis Cooper

]]> <![CDATA[Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?]]> More like Pope Joe Tiller X

Stev D

]]>