We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey - Deadspin Comments

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

The Diesel — Thu, 22 May 2008 09:45:07 EDT

I love to chase down frogs, swat them around until they are good and bloody, and march around their land victoriously. Oh sure, they will scream out for help and you will probably help them. To which, many years later, they will forget this, treat you like complete scum, and never offer to help you with anything. Ever.

/Napoleon

(ps...F-The French.)

The Diesel

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

econdave — Thu, 22 May 2008 09:29:15 EDT

@SportsCentre:
I was once at this tiny village in France, and there was this old woman there wearing a Cardinals hat. Swear to God.

econdave

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Thu, 22 May 2008 08:26:58 EDT

I want to know if God! Save the Fan has achieved the same cultural currency among the Gaullists as has the Great Jerry Lewis. & if so, will Leitch's Leather Jacket be the next fashion must-have? (Would be perfect for a advertising jingle featuring "you're with me, leather". Whoa, has the Editor had sex with Berman?)

/mind blown
//pants shat

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

SportsCentre — Thu, 22 May 2008 01:34:12 EDT

"Où montrent-ils aux cardinaux le jeu?"

That actually means, "where are they showing the game to cardinals?"

I'm sure the dudes in the red hats will love Rick Ankiel.

SportsCentre

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

blackaces — Wed, 21 May 2008 22:26:27 EDT

Apparently, after reunification, the Germans couldn't decide where to put their new capital. So they decided on Paris.

blackaces

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

SpandexEnthusiast — Wed, 21 May 2008 18:41:56 EDT

Will, please come back with a picture of yourself looking like that...THEN I will forgive you for taking Memorial Day off.

SpandexEnthusiast

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

BigTenObsession — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:55:56 EDT

-1 all of you, dammit!

BigTenObsession

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

RonZookonRedBull — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:49:30 EDT

After this trip, I expect Will will start secretly collaborating with ESPN.

RonZookonRedBull

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:42:15 EDT

I look forward to the French version of Deadspin.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:41:36 EDT

@Secret Identity:

Worse possible way to decide aq Championship.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

44 in a Row — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:41:17 EDT

Fromage!

Say it out loud. It's fun.

44 in a Row

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Secret Identity — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:39:59 EDT

@Secret Identity:

And by that, I mean shootouts deciding playoff games sucks balls.

Secret Identity

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Secret Identity — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:39:34 EDT

There's a reason the NHL refuses to let shootouts decide playoff games. It sucks balls.

Secret Identity

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Clare — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:38:14 EDT

@feed_me_a_stray_cat: @HockeyMountain: That was my experience in Lyon. I tried to buy some shoes and speak some real live French, and the salesman that was helping me was, like, dying for me to mess up so he could speak some real live English. It was cute.

Clare

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Yostal — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:35:19 EDT

@Yostal: Van der Sar, freaking typos.

Yostal

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

kbjone — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:35:09 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: Now, what have we learned today in regards to God?

kbjone

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Yostal — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:34:52 EDT

Van Der Sal Industries!

Yostal

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

ArkansasFred — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:34:47 EDT

Wow. What a fucking ending.

ArkansasFred

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Secret Identity — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:34:41 EDT

If I wanted to be looked down on by French speakers, I'd just go to Montreal. It's much cheaper.

Secret Identity

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Dieter — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:34:37 EDT

Way to go, big Dutchman!

Dieter

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

SonOfSpam — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:33:48 EDT

@Peter Cavan: The phrase you're looking for is "Ban De Soleil"

SonOfSpam

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

DaOtter — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:33:37 EDT

I hope you run into him, too. Although, those small European cars won't leave as much of a dent. Better not risk it.

DaOtter

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

BreakfastBourbon — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:32:31 EDT

Awesome. I just got back myself from spending some quality time in Paris and Venice.
(disclaimer: the casinos in Las Vegas, but I'm sure any major differences are negligible.)

BreakfastBourbon

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

BigTDog — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:32:25 EDT

@SonOfSpam:

One of my favorite Wild-and-Crazy lines...

BigTDog

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Innings Eater — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:32:24 EDT

Stupid mutherfucking pitch fuckshitpiss.

Innings Eater

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Dieter — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:32:12 EDT

@HockeyMountain: That was my experience aussi.

It helped that I caught some form of laryngitis (a frog in my throat, if you will) and therefore acquired a Provencal accent.

Dieter

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Yostal — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:32:10 EDT

O Captain, Miss Captain!

The rain is just tremendous now.

Yostal

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:32:06 EDT

He slipped!!!!

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:31:58 EDT

CHOKE!

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

OchentaYcinco — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:31:53 EDT

wowwwwwwwww

OchentaYcinco

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

kbjone — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:31:40 EDT

WOW.

kbjone

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Innings Eater — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:29:05 EDT

Goodness me.

Innings Eater

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Dieter — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:28:57 EDT

/UEFA

Way to go, prettyboy

Dieter

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

feed_me_a_stray_cat — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:28:28 EDT

good job Ronaldo, you cheat and you still get stuffed

feed_me_a_stray_cat

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

kbjone — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:28:21 EDT

@BigRicks: Well, I'll give you the Cliffs' Notes.

REDACTED apparently needed to REDACTED, and REDACTED got a REDACTED. The final was REDACTED to REDACTED. Also, REDACTED is a bitch.

kbjone

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:28:10 EDT

THERE IS A GOD!!!!!

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

HockeyMountain — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:27:59 EDT

@feed_me_a_stray_cat: I had the same experience all throughout the countryside in France. As soon as I bumbled my way through a few words they were nice and cheerful.

HockeyMountain

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Innings Eater — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:27:52 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: So, better?

Innings Eater

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Yostal — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:27:25 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: And this makes him different from his American counterpart, how?

Yostal

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Peter Cavan — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:26:11 EDT

I think you'll find that Paris has a certain I-don't-know-what.

Peter Cavan

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

feed_me_a_stray_cat — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:26:08 EDT

@Clare: Possibly, but Arles and Avignon are amazing and the people are helpful if you pretend to know a little French. A lot of them speak English they're just waiting for you to humiliate yourself first. But other than that they're nice.

feed_me_a_stray_cat

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:25:49 EDT

Remember, the French version of Nibbles only works a 35 hour week.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

HockeyMountain — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:25:29 EDT

@Carl Everett's Fossil Collection: How did you know?

/hangs head in shame

HockeyMountain

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

RachelRayIsTheDevil — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:24:35 EDT

What the hell is that Myth Busters homo doing on Deadspin?

RachelRayIsTheDevil

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Dieter — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:24:32 EDT

@feed_me_a_stray_cat: absolutely. Provence rules.

Paris is still cool, though.

Another must-see destination: Pere LaChaise cemetary

Dieter

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

notthequarterback — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:23:27 EDT

@SonOfSpam: Those people don't even have the courtesy to speak English.

notthequarterback

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:22:39 EDT

@HockeyMountain: What's the big deal? I surrender to my external monkey 3 times a day or so

/fixed
/hangs head in shame
/needs to get laid

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

HockeyMountain — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:22:15 EDT

@BigRicks: People have been posting stuff across threads... I would avoid the comments if it isn't too late

HockeyMountain

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

ArkansasFred — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:21:57 EDT

Be careful of any beautiful strangers who are somehow connected to an underworld culture of bloodthirsty werewolves. Trust me.

ArkansasFred

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Chuck Knoblockhead — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:21:56 EDT

Have fun Will, here's hoping you find your own Mr. Big there.

/Wait, what?

Chuck Knoblockhead

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Clare — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:21:54 EDT

@feed_me_a_stray_cat: Really? Like, where? I would imagine that Cannes and Nice and Antibes are super-snooty.

Clare

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

feed_me_a_stray_cat — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:20:36 EDT

@BigRicks: Yeah I'd be wary.

feed_me_a_stray_cat

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

BigRicks — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:19:49 EDT

Since Channelsurfing.net doesn't want to work at my office today, and I'm DVRing ManU-Chelsea, should I be completely avoiding Deadspin for the remainder of the afternoon at all costs? Figured I'd check and see if people will actually threadjack with the final (whenever there is one).

BigRicks

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Yostal — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:19:19 EDT

Will, if you get a chance, I hear the Maginot Line tour is a lovely tribute to "It seemed like a good idea at the time..."

Yostal

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

The Underhill Account — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:19:17 EDT

We're taking a couple more days off at the end of this week...

You're what the French call "les incompetents".

The Underhill Account

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Jews For Purple Jesus — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:18:05 EDT

Will, be sure to sample the French language. I've heard it's especially fun to curse with. It's like wiping your ass with silk.

/sorry for referencing that awful sequel
//enjoy

Jews For Purple Jesus

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

ky-jellydonuts — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:16:57 EDT

Agreed with Musee D'Orsay and L'Hotel des Invalides. Catch the boules players in Jardins du Luxembourg. I'm envious.

ky-jellydonuts

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

HockeyMountain — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:16:40 EDT

What's the big deal? I surrender to my external monkey 3 times a week or so

HockeyMountain

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

feed_me_a_stray_cat — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:16:24 EDT

God dammit this is going to penalty kicks. I wonder if ESPN understands this is a bad thing or if they're equating it overtime in American sports.

feed_me_a_stray_cat

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

SonOfSpam — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:15:45 EDT

Remember: "Chappeau" means "hat". "Oeuf" means "egg". It's like those French have a different word for everything.

SonOfSpam

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Innings Eater — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:14:16 EDT

Drogba is a seven year old girl.

Innings Eater

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

feed_me_a_stray_cat — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:13:55 EDT

You probably won't make it down but the south of France is remarkable and not nearly as elitist as Paris.

feed_me_a_stray_cat

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

David Hume — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:13:54 EDT

Bonjour, je suis Claude. J'ai un grande saucisse. T'aime mon saucisse?

/It earned me detention in 9th grade.

David Hume

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:13:47 EDT

@Carl Everett's Fossil Collection: I blame this on Nibbles.

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Nacho Friendly — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:13:36 EDT

Don't forget to help out the robotmen trying to feed their robotfamilies.

Nacho Friendly

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:13:29 EDT

@She Blinded Me With Violence: No. No I did not.

Although a smoking, beret-wearing frog still amuses me so.

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

FEAST — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:12:58 EDT

@She Blinded Me With Violence: The NBA: Where you can get away with slapping your opponent happens.

FEAST

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

HockeyMountain — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:12:41 EDT

@Clare: Affirmed D'Orsay > Louvre

I especially enjoy Bordeaux and the Loire Valley. Normandy is spectacular as well, for different reasons

HockeyMountain

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:12:33 EDT

THREADJACK

Drogba sent off for slapping Vidic

/THREADJACK

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Signal to Noise — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:12:19 EDT

@She Blinded Me With Violence: dammit.

Signal to Noise

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Signal to Noise — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:11:53 EDT

Drogba just got red-carded for smacking a ho (well, Vidic.)

Signal to Noise

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Chuck Knoblockhead — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:11:44 EDT

Must watch Everybody Loves Hypnotoad.

Chuck Knoblockhead

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Gourmet Spud — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:11:36 EDT

Some other helpful phrases you should keep at the ready:

Où est la pénicilline?
Il est deux heures. Ayons un poste de travail boire.
Cet enfant est en état d'ébriété.

Gourmet Spud

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

She Blinded Me With Violence — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:11:25 EDT

Drogba slappin' a ho.

She Blinded Me With Violence

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Clare — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:11:24 EDT

@Clare: Jesus, grumpy, the man's going to Europe for the first time. Be nice.

Have fun en la France, Papa de la Semaine.

Clare

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

kbjone — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:11:21 EDT

Drogba: Oops. I are stupids.

kbjone

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Pete Gaines — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:11:01 EDT

Have fun, Will. Bring us back something fun.

Pete Gaines

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

She Blinded Me With Violence — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:10:40 EDT

@Carl Everett's Fossil Collection: Then you didn't see this: [deadspin.com]

She Blinded Me With Violence

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Bearcat44 — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:10:21 EDT

Bring lots of Euros, Will. Our $ is the new peso.

Bearcat44

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Civil Negligence — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:10:20 EDT

@Arriaga_II: +un.

Civil Negligence

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

BigRicks — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:09:43 EDT

Enjoy the Euro exchange, I got murdered in Italy back in February, which was my first time in Europe as well.

Seriously though, enjoy filling the ol' passport with stamps. Also, enjoy easting some snails.

BigRicks

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Clare — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:08:31 EDT

I liked Lyon better than Paris. Less attitude, better food.

@econdave: Seconded. Aside from the Nike of Samothrace, which is magnificent, Musée d'Orsay > The Louvre.

Clare

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

feed_me_a_stray_cat — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:08:25 EDT

L'Hotel des Invalides. It's not what you think. Well it's French art but still.

feed_me_a_stray_cat

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Casey Dick in a Box — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:08:21 EDT

Soup du jour!
Camembert!
Jacques Cousteau!
Baguette!

Casey Dick in a Box

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Agamemnon Busmalis — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:08:05 EDT

Congratulations on winning "Pig In A Poke."

/Oink Oink my good man.

Agamemnon Busmalis

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Arriaga_II — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:08:03 EDT

Look at 'ze bangs on 'ze American! Hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh!

Arriaga_II

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

ltwinslow — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:07:52 EDT

france just faxed over its proposed terms of surrender

ltwinslow

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

supermike5alive — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:07:35 EDT

wicked jealous - have a great time!

supermike5alive

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

DennyCrane — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:07:11 EDT

Why is there a picture of Hideki Irabu with this post?

DennyCrane

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:06:47 EDT

Well that's the best picture I've seen today.

Carl Everett's Fossil Collection

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Civil Negligence — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:06:33 EDT

We eat babies!
We drink pee!
We are French, French, French!

Civil Negligence

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Fawn Liebowitz — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:06:13 EDT

Whatever you do, keep your girlfriend away from Louis Vuitton--esp if youre buying!

Fawn Liebowitz

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Camp Tiger Claw — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:06:09 EDT

Nice hat, Leyland.

Camp Tiger Claw

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

econdave — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:05:50 EDT

Musée d'Orsay. And just let yourself wander around and eat in some little café or braisserie.

econdave

We Give In To Our Internal Surrender Monkey

Rusty Cajun Ron — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:05:31 EDT

do nothing for food except buy cheap wine, cheese and bread. If you're feeling lazy, get the jambon et fromage or a nutella and banana crepe on the street. Remember, the dollar sucks these days. Also, prices on hard liquor/cocktails, if they even exist, will be ridiculous, even for a new yorker.

Rusty Cajun Ron