Beware The Handrails Of Death - Deadspin Comments

Beware The Handrails Of Death

spirit_of_chick_hearn — Fri, 23 May 2008 02:35:06 EDT

Probably burned a hole in a perfectly good pair of 501 jeans.

spirit_of_chick_hearn

Beware The Handrails Of Death

kayceebk — Thu, 22 May 2008 14:07:16 EDT

@Phil Mickelson's Man Tits: Ah, more evidence that maybe Abe shoulda just let the Union go

kayceebk

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:52:37 EDT

The question is how did this all affect Mike Hampton

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Beware The Handrails Of Death

J.J.Gittes — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:42:41 EDT

Slide, you stupid fucking Braves fan! Sliiiide!!

J.J.Gittes

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Rob Iracane — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:24:06 EDT

@Matt_T: HE'S ALIVE

Don't waste too much.

Rob Iracane

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Matt_T — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:23:17 EDT

I will be pouring out some beer tonight in honor of my fallen comrade.

Matt_T

Beware The Handrails Of Death

ASox — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:18:43 EDT

The Braves are just hoping that he will still be included in the official attendance #s.

ASox

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Tuffy — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:16:38 EDT

So... it's *not* the year of the cat?

Tuffy

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Whitey Fisk — Thu, 22 May 2008 13:04:24 EDT

Herd: thinned.

Whitey Fisk

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Da_Mang — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:51:51 EDT

@josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance...: He didn't burn Savannah. He spared the City and presented it to Lincoln as a Christmas present.

/Savannah native and history nerd.

Da_Mang

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Rusty Cajun Ron — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:48:34 EDT

I know everyone "knows" it, but Darwin would have nothing to say about this.
[www.newscientist.com]

Rusty Cajun Ron

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Red Sox Monster — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:48:29 EDT

*splat

Red Sox Monster

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Red Sox Monster — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:48:15 EDT

@Master of Karate and Friendship: Death by acute spatness seems pretty obvious.

Red Sox Monster

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Laser Guided — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:47:53 EDT

@bteufel: and high-fives Isaac Newton

Laser Guided

Beware The Handrails Of Death

heyzeus — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:46:01 EDT

Nara...nara....not gonna see any baseball games here anymore.

heyzeus

Beware The Handrails Of Death

DaOtter — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:36:12 EDT

@The Bad One: Plank Rockbody! Crud Bonemeal! Fridge Largemeat! Big McLargeHuge!

DaOtter

Beware The Handrails Of Death

JoeyPorterAle — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:33:50 EDT

JoeyPorterAle

Beware The Handrails Of Death

BigTenObsession — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:28:49 EDT

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese... mac:

Well! Happy Birthday to me.

BigTenObsession

Beware The Handrails Of Death

The Bad One — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:23:11 EDT

@RowdyRoddyPeeper: Punch Rockgroin!

The Bad One

Beware The Handrails Of Death

sir_pantsalot — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:15:03 EDT

@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: That was beautiful. Thanks that made my day.

sir_pantsalot

Beware The Handrails Of Death

RowdyRoddyPeeper — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:15:01 EDT

@The Bad One: Bulk Vanderhuge!

RowdyRoddyPeeper

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Chief Illiniwek — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:14:13 EDT

Hey Y'all, watch this!

WHUMP!

Chief Illiniwek

Beware The Handrails Of Death

formerly Chief Wahoo — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:14:01 EDT

@The Gentleman Masher: Not only aware Sherman was a buckeye, proud of it.

formerly Chief Wahoo

Beware The Handrails Of Death

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:13:07 EDT

Come out to Shea on June 26th and be one of the first 1800 fans to get a free Stair lift from Acorn Stairlifts!

[www.acornstairlifts.com]

dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Ray — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:12:06 EDT

I hope he falls and a bloodbath ensu-

Oh.

Ray

Beware The Handrails Of Death

The Bad One — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:10:07 EDT

You have to watch out for those railing kills.
/space mutiny'd

The Bad One

Beware The Handrails Of Death

YourGoldKeith — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:10:02 EDT

Darwin award winners, all!

YourGoldKeith

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Arriaga_II — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:08:52 EDT

Many people dont kow this, but Turner Field was built on a long-abandoned graveyard where no signs of life had been seen in decades...the parking lof of Fulton County stadium.

Arriaga_II

Beware The Handrails Of Death

toecutter — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:08:37 EDT

This could have been avoided if only they put some handrails on those handrails. Tragic.

toecutter

Beware The Handrails Of Death

GreatOdensRaven — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:07:35 EDT

@Mr. Pennsylvania: It's all the same after beer #3.

GreatOdensRaven

Beware The Handrails Of Death

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:07:18 EDT

@Camp Tiger Claw:

Handrail of Death > Six Flags Over Georgia

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Jefferson Short Bus — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:07:00 EDT

Jack Thompson is going to sue the makers of Porrasturvat, as this is obviously their fault.

Jefferson Short Bus

Beware The Handrails Of Death

sassydeerrun — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:05:48 EDT

Trying to upstage that guy diving off the port-a-john didn't work out well at all.

sassydeerrun

Beware The Handrails Of Death

SoulGlue — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:05:45 EDT

My first game at Comerica Park right after it opens...I see 2 escalators going up before the game, ride one up, and think "They'll have them both going down after the game." The game ends, I go to the escalators, and both are still going up. I ask a nearby usher, and he tells me they'll always go up as the liability involved with drunks falling off after a game is too high.

So apparently it's some sort of karmic comeuppance for the Renteria-Jurrjens and Smoltz-Alexander trades.....

SoulGlue

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Camp Tiger Claw — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:05:22 EDT

You can waste your time on the other rides
This is the nearest to being alive
Let me take my chances on The Handrail of Death

Camp Tiger Claw

Beware The Handrails Of Death

RowdyRoddyPeeper — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:05:20 EDT

/War of Northern Agression Threadjack/

I'm halfway through Team of Rivals and can't put it down.

/end threadjack/

RowdyRoddyPeeper

Beware The Handrails Of Death

GreatOdensRaven — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:05:16 EDT

@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at:

GreatOdensRaven

Beware The Handrails Of Death

DaOtter — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:04:23 EDT

@HockeyMountain: Mallrats ftw. +1

DaOtter

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Bluenatic — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:04:18 EDT

If current trends continue, the Mets body count (2) will surpass their win count (22) by July.

Bluenatic

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:04:10 EDT

"Do you want to know my B.A.C. or do you want to see me slide down this handrail?"

Weed Against Speed

Beware The Handrails Of Death

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:03:59 EDT

The police are bringing in Pacman Jones for questioning. They do that for every suspicious death in Atlanta.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Beware The Handrails Of Death

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:02:20 EDT

@The Gentleman Masher: He burned Atlanta, Savannah, & Columbia, but passed on taking down Charleston. So, he could have burnt the Low Country, at least.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Beware The Handrails Of Death

The Gentleman Masher — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:01:59 EDT

@formerly Chief Wahoo: Incidentally, as you may know...Sherman was an Ohio native.

So - you have him to thank for the proud tradition of Ohioans setting things on fire. Cities, Rivers, couches, overturned cars in Columbus after a Buckeyes game, etc.

The Gentleman Masher

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Secret Identity — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:01:13 EDT

This is why you don't ghostride the handrail.

Secret Identity

Beware The Handrails Of Death

44 in a Row — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:01:03 EDT

Nobody knows escalators like New York does.

44 in a Row

Beware The Handrails Of Death

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:00:43 EDT

@HockeyMountain: It was the Devil. The Devil always wins.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Beware The Handrails Of Death

The Gentleman Masher — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:00:41 EDT

@formerly Chief Wahoo: He marched to the sea, and then up to South Carolina...where do you propose he should have gone after?

/Historical Accuracied

The Gentleman Masher

Beware The Handrails Of Death

HockeyMountain — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:00:29 EDT

@Jefferson Short Bus: From a Braves game?

HockeyMountain

Beware The Handrails Of Death

HockeyMountain — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:00:09 EDT

@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: obviously he hasn't been taught to properly fear and respect that escalator.

HockeyMountain

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Stev D — Thu, 22 May 2008 12:00:03 EDT

On the upside, if he had made it- he would have looked pretty cool.

Stev D

Beware The Handrails Of Death

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:59:54 EDT

I look forward to the MSNBC Special on "Handrails of Death" hosted by Ann Curry.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Beware The Handrails Of Death

BigTenObsession — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:59:50 EDT

TOO SOON, AJ!

Oh, it was a Braves fan? Never mind.

BigTenObsession

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Jefferson Short Bus — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:59:41 EDT

It was a suicide. Guy didn't want to get stuck in traffic on the way home.

Jefferson Short Bus

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:59:31 EDT

Maybe he was trying to hurry home to catch the Spurs/Lakers game.

/NBA: Where Amazing Happens

Weed Against Speed

Beware The Handrails Of Death

jwaves2007 — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:58:36 EDT

The legal department at the Croc shoe company wants everyone to know that they are not responsible.

jwaves2007

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Babcocksure — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:57:45 EDT

wait...a guy from Georgia got hammered and did something really stupid? no guns were involved?

Babcocksure

Beware The Handrails Of Death

900_Units_of_Meat — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:56:49 EDT

Am I the only one that thinks would fit in perfectly with a Bud Light "Dude" commercial?

That's gold, Jerry! Gold!

900_Units_of_Meat

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Jerkwheat — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:56:05 EDT

Jerkwheat

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Ray — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:56:03 EDT

Nara...Narara...NOT GONNA LIVE HERE ANYMORE!

Ray

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Mr. Pennsylvania — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:55:55 EDT

@GreatOdensRaven: were you at a baseball game or a 2nd grade field trip?

Mr. Pennsylvania

Beware The Handrails Of Death

formerly Chief Wahoo — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:55:54 EDT

The upside is that "sliding down an escalator handrail" was on his bucket list. Regrettably, "plunging to the earth and splattering his guts on the pavement" was not.

formerly Chief Wahoo

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Carlton_Whitfield — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:55:52 EDT

I know this is sad and everything, but I must say the picture of that mustachioed gentleman on the KMPH 26 web site is amazing. Dan Dierdorf doppelganger?

Carlton_Whitfield

Beware The Handrails Of Death

jwaves2007 — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:55:23 EDT

If you are dumb enough to ride a handrail with the possibilty to fall 150 feet then you had it coming dumbass. That said I do feel bad for his family, but the world now has one less idiot.

jwaves2007

Beware The Handrails Of Death

LosOsosdeChicago — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:55:19 EDT

I'm pretty sure the fine print of the ticket says "we are not responsible if you decide to be an idiot and fall 150 feet to your death."

LosOsosdeChicago

Beware The Handrails Of Death

HockeyMountain — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:54:40 EDT

Coors Field "Escalator of Doom" >> "Handrails de Morte"

and by ">>" I mean "inherently more funny because no one died"

HockeyMountain

Beware The Handrails Of Death

RowdyRoddyPeeper — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:54:33 EDT

The Braves organization believes that a "No Handrail Sliding" rule should be left up to the individual franchises without intereference from the tyrannical Selig.

/Calhouned/

RowdyRoddyPeeper

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:54:29 EDT

Not pictured:
-Special "trash compactor" elevator
-Escalator to nowhere

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast

Beware The Handrails Of Death

900_Units_of_Meat — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:54:23 EDT

I like my deaths at stadiums to involve a lethal barrage of T-shirts, thank you very much.

900_Units_of_Meat

Beware The Handrails Of Death

OhTheHugeManatee — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:54:17 EDT

The Fulton County Medical Examiner's Office identifies the man as Justin Hayes of Cumming, Georgia. There will be an autopsy to determine the exact cause of his death.

Yup.

OhTheHugeManatee

Beware The Handrails Of Death

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:54:16 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak:

Let me re-phrase.

26 men show signs of no pulse as oppose to 25 as previously reported.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Beware The Handrails Of Death

GreatOdensRaven — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:53:56 EDT

I went to a Mets game in Philly right after the Shea incident, and they instituted a policy of one at a time on the escalators. Philly fans, while growing impatient, taunted Mets fans by yelling, "We wouldn't have to do this if fuckin' Mets fans knew how to operate the damn escalator."

It was rude at the time.

GreatOdensRaven

Beware The Handrails Of Death

HebrewHammer — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:53:34 EDT

At least he wasn't tomahawk chopped to death.

HebrewHammer

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Phil Mickelsons Man Tits — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:53:12 EDT

@bteufel: I just drove cross-country, and Christian radio in Tennessee, Kansas and Nevada all told me that evolution is a great lie, perpetrated by the God-less heathens.

Phil Mickelsons Man Tits

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Rob Iracane — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:52:43 EDT

Does anyone know if Matt_T is okay?

Rob Iracane

Beware The Handrails Of Death

DaOtter — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:52:30 EDT

@Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast: That's the knack. ;)
/RIP, Douglas Adams

DaOtter

Beware The Handrails Of Death

DeepFriar — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:52:05 EDT

Being a Braves fan can't be that bad, can it?
/Mets fan in denial

DeepFriar

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:51:40 EDT

This man clearly forgot the trick to flying: To throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Pennington Noodlearm Enthusiast

Beware The Handrails Of Death

formerly Chief Wahoo — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:51:22 EDT

@Gus Johnson's Cardiologist: Bastard.

formerly Chief Wahoo

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Doyle McPoyle — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:50:59 EDT

I think he was just depressed about watching another Endy Chavez at-bat.

Doyle McPoyle

Beware The Handrails Of Death

DaOtter — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:50:58 EDT

Signs? Screw that. This is natural selection at its finest.

DaOtter

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Gourmet Spud — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:50:56 EDT

We are six months away from the "parachutes mandatory" ordinance.

Gourmet Spud

Beware The Handrails Of Death

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:50:53 EDT

So 26 people were pronounced dead at The Ted last night instead of 25.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Beware The Handrails Of Death

MeSoHornsby — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:50:33 EDT

The guy in the blue shirt and yellow tie is way too excited about this news.

MeSoHornsby

Beware The Handrails Of Death

formerly Chief Wahoo — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:49:50 EDT

@Master of Karate and Friendship: It wasn't the fall so much as the landing.

formerly Chief Wahoo

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Gus Johnson's Cardiologist — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:49:49 EDT

@Master of Karate and Friendship: Nah, it was the landing that got him...

Gus Johnson's Cardiologist

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Spanish Necktie — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:49:23 EDT

The Braves have so few fans coming to games as it is. They can't afford to lose one to idiocy.

Spanish Necktie

Beware The Handrails Of Death

HernandezStache — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:49:09 EDT

Ballpark Accidents: Beware the psychological effects of watching the NY Mets

/Fixed

HernandezStache

Beware The Handrails Of Death

formerly Chief Wahoo — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:49:08 EDT

Shermans only mistake was stopping when he did.

formerly Chief Wahoo

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Civil Negligence — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:49:06 EDT

In order to show how cool you really are, I would suggest the safer alternative of banging on a jukebox cover to make it start and stop playing.

Civil Negligence

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Arriaga_II — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:48:54 EDT

The 25-year-old Georgia man also may have been drinking.
Re. Dun. Dant.

Arriaga_II

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Master of Karate and Friendship — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:48:32 EDT

There will be an autopsy to determine the exact cause of his death.

I'm no doctor, but I think the 150 foot fall may have had something to do with it.

Master of Karate and Friendship

Beware The Handrails Of Death

Hit Bull Win Steak — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:48:20 EDT

and somewhere Charles Darwin is smiling coyly..

Hit Bull Win Steak