The sales world is full of creepy pitches, but this one we got from a Yankees ticket rep hawking $1,000 Legends suite seats is especially weird. Have you ever wanted to be so close you could floss Robinson Cano's smile? (No.)

Mark Teixeria's sweat also makes an appearance in the pitch, which offers discounts on Legends seats of "up to 30%." Why the drastic slash in prices? Nobody's buying them at face.

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