Chelsea Settle Former Team Doctor's Lawsuit Against Club And José Mourinho

After José Mourinho blew up on then-Chelsea team doctor Eva Carneiro during a game back in August, apparently for her unforgivable sin of tending to an injured player, and after he then demoted her for said unforgivable sin, and after Carneiro was like “Screw this, I’m out of here, and I’m suing all y’all for how…

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Remember When Eden Hazard Did Dope Shit Like This All The Time?

It was only a year ago when Eden Hazard, the pearl of the Chelsea juggernaut that cruised to the title, was skipping and shimmying his way past Premier League defenses with the rakish spirit and effortless grace of one of those dancing tough guys in West Side Story. This year, for both Hazard and his team, has been…

Future Superstar Matt Miazga Ready To Fight To Become "The Best American Player"

The worst you can say is that it hasn’t happened yet. This is no great shocker, since it was always going to be a long journey for Matt Miazga to go from promising MLS prospect to veritable Premier League legend. Yet it is a voyage Miazga himself is perfectly ready to start down step by step, as evidenced by his…

Diego Costa Sent Off After Getting Intimate With Gareth Barry (And Maybe Biting Him)

Everton downed Chelsea 2-0 in FA Cup action today, though the real excitement came in the final minutes as Diego Costa earned a red card for intruding on Gareth Barry’s personal space; Barry himself would be sent off minutes later, but let’s not miss the glory of Costa either kissing Barry, trying to give him a…

Chinese Club's Enormous Bid For Oscar Shows China Is Serious About This Shit

If all the mid-tier European-quality players the Chinese Super League has bought this transfer window haven’t hammered home just how serious the league is about getting really good really fast, and if the purchase of potential top-end talents like Jackson Martínez and Alex Teixeira for gobs of money also failed to…

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Now That Chelsea's Season Is Dead, They Can Focus On Ruining Everyone Else's

The most satisfying moment during José Mourinho’s all-too-short second stint as Chelsea manager had to be after the final whistle of the final league match last season, when everyone at the club finally got to sing and dance alongside the Premier League trophy they’d won in such commanding fashion. The second-best…

Young American Stud Matt Miazga Set To Join Chelsea And Become New King Of English Soccer

Hell yeah, now this is more like it! While it was understandable if disappointing (and disappointing exactly because it was understandable) that Jordan Morris skipped out on the chance to take his talents to the Bundesliga and instead decided to start his pro career in MLS, we are not without hope that one brave…

John Terry Goal In 98th Minute Saves Miracle Point For Chelsea

After Everton took a 3-2 lead over Chelsea in the 90th minute, it looked like the Toffees had their first win at Stamford Bridge since 1994. But it wasn’t to be, as (an offside) John Terry redeemed his earlier own goal and scored in what can only be described as the stoppage time of stoppage time. It had to end this…