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Manchester City Stake Their Claim As The Premier League's Best Team

You wouldn’t exactly describe it as a shock. It was Manchester City, after all. Winners of two of the last four Premier League titles; armed with the best goalscorers in the country; with one of its twistiest, most creative talents; newly infused with the precocious abilities of England’s most promising young prospect » 8/17/15 3:20pm 8/17/15 3:20pm

Here's José Mourinho's Bullshit Excuse For Why He Demoted His Team Doctor

Earlier this week, José Mourinho demoted Chelsea’s long-serving team doctor, days after he publicly showed her up during a game last weekend. He’s rightly come in for criticism for the decision, so now “sources close” to him have concocted an excuse for the change: the players didn’t feel comfortable around a lady.… » 8/12/15 6:46pm 8/12/15 6:46pm

José Mourinho Demotes Team Doctor After Blowing Up Her Spot On Pitch

Eva Carneiro, the long-serving Chelsea first team doctor, has been a staple of the team’s matches over the years, rushing out onto the pitch as the first responder to any and all of their injuries. It’s very likely that one such attempt to treat a player on the field last weekend will be her last, however, because… » 8/11/15 1:20pm 8/11/15 1:20pm

Jose Mourinho Is In Midseason Form As Chelsea Barely Survive Swansea

Chelsea opened their Premier League title defense today with a topsy turvy 2-2 draw against Swansea City. As you can see, Jose Mourinho ain’t too happy about it. Our staff of amateur lip readers concurs that he’s dropping a “Fuck off Michael!”—directed towards referee Michael Oliver—but you could make the case that… » 8/08/15 3:31pm 8/08/15 3:31pm

The Best Of The Best: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3

You’ve made it to the third and final installment of our Premier League preview, and what lies below is a rundown of what we at Deadspin consider the six (6) least bad teams in all of England’s top flight. This thirdish of the league is important because this is where teams are fighting for all-important qualification… » 8/07/15 12:29pm 8/07/15 12:29pm

José Mourinho Has No Use For This Loser's Medal, Or For Arsène Wenger

Arsenal beat Chelsea 1-0 today to win their second straight Community Shield, and it appears Chelsea manager José Mourinho has about as much use for the match as the rest of us. Here he is avoiding congratulating rival manager Arsène Wenger and then throwing his second-place medal up into the crowd. » 8/02/15 12:55pm 8/02/15 12:55pm

José Mourinho Is Shitting On Managers Again, Which Means Soccer's Back!

We’ve seen preseason play and preseason brawls, and now that José Mourinho has broken out the ol’ charcoal grill and laid on a couple thick slabs of Arsène Wenger and Manuel Pellegrini tenderloin, the aroma of preseason beef means the Premier League season is just around the corner. » 7/28/15 6:39pm 7/28/15 6:39pm

Eden Hazard Is Showing England What A Great Player Can Look Like

Much of what fuels England’s rabid, explosively celebratory, often masochistic, sometimes even violent devotion to soccer is the country’s unique interpretation of the game. Their love of direct attacks, sliding-karate-kick tackles, and ceaseless running almost compels teams into wide-open matches with acres of space… » 4/07/15 10:20am 4/07/15 10:20am

Katie Holmes Had a Secret Whole Foods Entrance: An Update

Last week, we investigated one of the stranger celebrity conspiracy theories: That Katie Holmes had used a secret entrance to the Whole Foods in Chelsea, Manhattan to evade paparazzi after filing for divorce against Tom Cruise. Over the weekend, we learned something that might unsettle some of our readers: The… » 3/31/15 1:59pm 3/31/15 1:59pm

Did Katie Holmes Have a Secret Entrance to Whole Foods in Chelsea?

In the summer of 2012, shortly after she filed divorce papers to dissolve her marriage to Tom Cruise, the actress Katie Holmes moved into a Manhattan apartment complex called the Chelsea Mercantile. The prewar building has 354 units, a private garage, and, on the street level, a Whole Foods Market, where Holmes began… » 3/27/15 11:16am 3/27/15 11:16am

José Mourinho Gets Philosophical In Rant Directed At Haters In The Media

“The world is a bit strange. Maybe because of diets, and maybe because of the quality of produce we are eating, I think memories are getting shorter,” José Mourinho begins his wild, metaphysical ride that somehow ends with him basically calling certain members of the media jealous cowards.
» 3/13/15 11:04am 3/13/15 11:04am

PSG Overcome Controversial Red Card, Boot Chelsea From Champions League

Schalke's nearly-heroic comeback yesterday put everyone on upset alert, and on cue, Paris Saint-Germain went and made good on its own upset bid with today's 2-2 draw against Chelsea, knocking the English club out of the Champions league. Despite a questionable red card on Zlatan Ibrahimović early on, PSG fought back… » 3/11/15 7:23pm 3/11/15 7:23pm

Why I Love Coutinho, And How Real Madrid's Slip Gives Us A Great Clásico

With the fireworks of the last few days, it would be natural to look down the sights and champ at how those results set up a couple blockbuster head-to-head matchups in the coming weeks. But let's take a second to look back and appreciate what we saw this weekend, which was magnificent. » 3/02/15 5:20pm 3/02/15 5:20pm