Man City Saves Draw With 92nd-Minute Free Kick Goal

James Milner helped Manchester City avoid an embarrassing home loss to lowly Hull City with this gorgeous stoppage-time free kick goal. To be fair, even a draw is shocking; Etihad Stadium spent most of the match silent as supporters watched their team fart around and be dominated by the bottom-three side. » 2/07/15 11:55am 2/07/15 11:55am

A Lesson On Offside Calls For FIFA Officials Who Don't Understand Them

At least two egregiously bad offside calls were made this morning, one of which influenced a major cup tournament outcome. Since it appears FIFA referees (and, in one case, soccer broadcasters) don't understand this basic rule, we're going to illustrate them. » 1/17/15 1:02pm 1/17/15 1:02pm

Liverpool Score One Of The Most Ridiculous, Hilarious Goals Of The Year

Łukasz Fabiański wishes he had this one back, as the Swansea keeper's attempt to clear the ball instead found its target of Liverpool midfielder Adam Lallana's chest, against which it ricocheted directly into Swansea's goal. » 12/29/14 4:13pm 12/29/14 4:13pm

How Real Are These Rumors About Gareth Bale To Manchester United?

The January transfer window is almost here, which means the rumor mill is just starting to rev up into the senseless, self-serving, outlandish, and dangerously addicting clusterfuck we've come to expect. And while some of the rumors can already be written off fairly easily—Barcelona to sell Busquets? lol—this whole… » 12/24/14 9:16am 12/24/14 9:16am

Everton Saves Point At Liverpool with Phil Jagielka Half-Volley Stunner

A stoppage-time equalizer from Phil Jagielka silenced the crowd at Anfield and seized a point from Liverpool at today's rendition of the Merseyside Derby. » 9/27/14 9:42am 9/27/14 9:42am

Mauro Zárate Drills Home Magnificent Volley Off The Deflection

West Ham United took a 1-0 lead on Crystal Palace today when Mauro Zárate—in his first start for a new squad—lined up a volley after a sky-high deflection of a shot from teammate Mark Noble. » 8/23/14 10:42am 8/23/14 10:42am

West Ham Idiot Runs Length Of Pitch, Takes Free Kick For Spurs

An Idiot On The Field invaded the pitch at Upton Park today, and made the most of his time in the spotlight: he took a crucial free kick for the visiting Tottenham Hotspur. » 8/16/14 11:39am 8/16/14 11:39am

Ted Lasso Is Back, And He's Still Clueless About Soccer

Jason Sudeikis has reprised his role as Ted Lasso, the American football coach who doesn't know shit about soccer, and the bit is still funny. » 8/08/14 9:45am 8/08/14 9:45am

Yaya Touré Wants To Go Home Because Nobody Made Him A Birthday Cake

Apparently, Manchester City superstar and greatest midfielder currently doing it Yaya Touré is unhappy with his club. Why, you might wonder, when they just won the Premier League in exciting fashion, featuring him as their best player? Because the team didn't celebrate his birthday. » 5/20/14 1:22pm 5/20/14 1:22pm

Man United Hire New Manager, Already Expect To Win Premier League

It's not even next season yet and we've already got the first lolunited post of the '14-'15 campaign. New Manchester United ship captain Louis van Gaal has officially been christened, and in lieu of smacking him across the head with a champagne bottle, they've promised him £150M, with an expectation that he win the… » 5/20/14 10:54am 5/20/14 10:54am

Elderly Samuel Eto'o Bashes Mourinho, Plans To Play As Actual Old Man

Samuel Eto'o is in the Ivory Coast today in support of the Copa Coca Cola, an international youth tournament. In an interview before the event, he had some choice words for the "fool" José Mourinho and anyone else who wants to fuck with Hollywood Court. » 5/15/14 2:41pm 5/15/14 2:41pm

The 2013-14 Premier League Season Was Well And Truly Fucking Awesome

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There was pessimism, hope, and ultimately failure. There was schadenfreude; oh, was there schadenfreude. There were also huge games, mesmerizing goals, and more twists in the title race than a M. Night Shyamalan movie (but actually good). To cap off an especially… » 5/13/14 3:23pm 5/13/14 3:23pm

Soccer-Loving Grandma Does Not Appreciate Her Grandkids' Prank

Some mischevious Man City supporters decided that it would be fun to trick their grandma into thinking that City had scored an early goal during its title-clinching game against West Ham yesterday. Granny did not appreciate their shenanigans. » 5/12/14 4:44pm 5/12/14 4:44pm