Jeanie Buss Goes In On "Losers" Who Don't Want To Play With Kobe

Things aren't going so great for the Los Angeles Lakers right now. Their head coach is dead set on implementing a caveman brand of basketball that may very well turn the Lakers into the worst team in the NBA, and a recent story by ESPN's Henry Abbott painted Kobe Bryant as a self-sabotaging sociopath whom nobody wants… » 10/23/14 1:54pm Yesterday 1:54pm

"The Buttfumble Song," Starring ESPN's Mike Tirico

During last night's Monday Night Football clash in Pittsburgh, ESPN announcer Mike Tirico referred to the Buttfumble by its proper title. While analysts and and anchors have previously mentioned that great event, we can't recall ever hearing "buttfumble" spoken during a game (and a search of closed captioning records… » 10/21/14 11:45am Tuesday 11:45am

Anonymous NBA Agents: Nobody Wants To Play With Kobe Bryant

ESPN has dropped a feature on Kobe Bryant in the latest issue of ESPN: The Magazine, and it's a doozy. The title "Is Kobe Bryant the reason for the Los Angeles Lakers' downfall?" seems misleadingly non-committal, as author Henry Abbott clearly believes that the answer is an unequivocal "yes." The piece—which is heavy… » 10/20/14 11:55pm Monday 11:55pm

Hey, Where The Hell Is Bill Simmons's Friday NFL Picks Column?

Where in the damn hell is the Friday NFL picks column? Just where the hell is it? Don't come at me with this Barnwell skunkweed oregano shit, man. The suspension is over, man, I need that good Simmons shit, the freshest NFL picks weed. I pay my mortgage on Simmons picks! Jesus fucking Christ where are the Simmons… » 10/17/14 7:22pm 10/17/14 7:22pm

The NBA's New TV Deal Includes Plans For Ads On Jerseys

Advertisements on NBA uniforms are inevitable—the association logo is heading to the back of the uniform to make room, and the only reason a 2.5" x 2.5" ad patch wasn't on the front shoulder last year was because they couldn't agree on how to split up the money. But in case you were still clinging to the hope of… » 10/13/14 2:40pm 10/13/14 2:40pm

Jason Whitlock Has Written His Magnum Derpus

ESPN columnist Jason Whitlock wrote a column last night wherein he tackled Monday's Michael Brown protests outside of Busch Stadium. Protesters demanding justice for Brown's shooting death at the hands of Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson were met by a crowd of Cardinals fans exulting in the death of a black male. » 10/10/14 2:12pm 10/10/14 2:12pm

Hey, Bill Simmons, Come Work For Us!

Bill Simmons's three-week suspension from ESPN ends on Wednesday, and there is already a lot of conjecture about how the suspension has affected his relationship with higher-ups at ESPN, and if he will stay with the network when his contract is up next year. He could stay at ESPN. He could go to Bleacher Report (NOTE:… » 10/09/14 3:06pm 10/09/14 3:06pm

Sweet ESPN Martial Arts Broadcast A Throwback To Network's Early Days

If you're old enough to remember any of the 80's, you know that ESPN wasn't always the home to 24-hour jabbering analysts and NFL talk shows. In its more fledgling days, the WWL aired whatever content to which it could obtain rights; thus, Americans were introduced to wacky hat-wearing and fingergunz-pointing… » 10/09/14 2:30pm 10/09/14 2:30pm