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How To Make A Pepperoni Cheese Football, And Two Other Super Bowl Party Delights

Whether you’re hosting or going to a Super Bowl party, you’re going to need food. Instead of mailing it in with a bag of tortilla chips, impress your friends by making one of these three no-cook meat dishes. We followed the recipes and tried our results, then sent the bologna cake back to hell, where it belonged.

Burger King's Halloween Whopper Plays Trick-Or-Treat With Your Tongue, Butt

By now you’ve surely heard that ingestion of Burger King’s new Halloween Whopper could lead to a curious and colorful gastrointestinal endgame. I have nothing to add to this lively public discussion, toilet-wise, other than to suggest that if you are either excited or repulsed by this development, you might be…

UConn's Bacon Jalapeño Mac And Cheese: A Sober Student's Review

This week, we met a drunken (and possibly former!) University of Connecticut student named Luke Gatti whose hunger for the bacon jalapeño mac and cheese served by the school’s Union Street Market was so great that he got himself arrested (and publicly humiliated) trying to get some. Was this foodstuff worth such a…

Drunk Meals 101: What To Cook When You're Totally Obliterated

Before plying myself with gross quantities of beer or liquor (or both), I like to ensure I’ve lined my belly with sufficient quantities of foodstuff. I’m not sure if it’s true—I got a D- in high school biology, and therefore lack even the most fundamental understanding of metabolic function—but if life experience…

How To Cook A Brisket, Which Is Totally Worth The Effort, I Swear

Just once in your life, cook a brisket, over smoky charcoal heat, on the grill. Do it for the solemn pride of having done so, and for the rime of authority it will lend to your future haughty pronouncements on the quality of others’ briskets. Do it because brisket—a massive cut of tough working muscle from the chest…

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Fast-Food Guac-Off: Subway Versus Dunkin' Donuts

Sauces and adjectives are the coagulated lifeblood of fast-food “innovation,” because it’s relatively cheap and easy to spike ranch dressing with cayenne dust, refer to the resulting substance as Kickin’, and splort it onto a chicken patty. It’s a slimy move, but what do you expect them to do? Improve the underlying…

How To Grill A Whole Fish, Because It's Just The Best Thing To Do

There are many good reasons for grilling whole fish. The skin and bones keep the flesh moist and flavorful; the skin itself, when cooked well, is life-changingly delicious; whole fish stands up better to grilling heat than a fillet or fish steak will; whole fish usually costs less by weight than the portioned stuff;…

Let's Try Joy Of Cooking's Worst Recipes. First Up: Quick Fish Loaf

I like to eat. Most of you do, too, I’m fairly sure, because I’ve seen you all doing it out at restaurants and in front of, behind, or under food trucks, and I daresay you looked quite pleased with yourselves. But due to the finite geometry of intestines and other guts, as well as the unwelcome but omnipresent…